LJH

Thanks Mann. The story, being a thriller, is fast paced and I have to keep that in mind when I place the elements on paper. Each element I use must enable the reader to want to know what will happen next, right to the end. I know the end, and everything in the earlier chapters leads to it organically. I hope. The plot is not predictable...not until the very last page. I rarely edit my stuff. What you see and read is a first draft, so any plot line errors that you come across please share with me so I can make the changes. I don't see things getting better for Colton or Richard in the next few chapters, but I can promise you that when it does get better, it's going to shake you to the core. Hugs

Thank you Jo Anne. It was a difficult chapter to write because I really wanted things to change for the better, however, my characters wouldn't allow me to do that. I mulled over Bernard's death for a long time...nearly three weeks before I had the guts to write it. I asked myself why so many times. bernard had so much to offer in this story and now it's too late. The question remains, will the story be better without him, or will the story suffer. I certainly hope the story will get better. I think the question is, will something good come out of his passing? I certainly hope so.

Thanks for the read. I can't hide things from you LOl. You are very observant. Great memory there. Richard is using an old ploy by making his son younger so that Peter might leave him alone. It's all cleared up in another chapter to come. hugs

Thabks for the observations...I'll check it out and make the changes. Thanks for the read. Your input is always important to me.

Sorry for the late reply. I've been away from GA for a while. Well, not spending as much time here as I should. So much to do. Life catches up. Thanks for the kind words about the story. Yeah, Ma is a surprising character and she's surprising me too. I love the thriller. But I try to put in a little romance when I can, when the characters allow me to ... lol

Richard grabbed Colton by the shoulders and jerked him towards the door where Bernard and Sue waited. He shoved him behind Bernard who grasped his hand. Bernard smiled comfortingly at Colton as he pulled him closer. Richard nodded at Sue. They were ready to move. One step at a time. Once through the door Sue signalled for everyone to get down on their knees and crawl across the wooden floor while she remained alert. Weapon poised. Trigger finger ready to squeeze. Suddenly Bernard stopped cra

My condolences to Vic's family. I will miss him. This comes hard. Goodbye Vic.

Samurai.

Thanks for the comment and review. I will def. go into the chapter and fix up. Good observations. Apart from those gremlins I am glad you are enjoying the story. Stay close, let's see how this journey develops and ends. Hugs

Thank you Mann. pacing is very important in a crime/thriller based story. Who wins in the end? Whi is good? Who is bad? Sue is good, isn't she? But she's a killer too. That makes her bad? There are more questions than answers. Everything I see in a person who follows the good, has a little bit of bad. That's why she doesn't want Colton to use a gun. Stay close

Michael, thanks for reading. Jack's death gives Colton a deeper and authentic motivation for what's coming up. Stay close.

A pleasure. And thanks for reading, Jo Ann. The first part is almost done. The second part begins, but this time not weith a bang. LOL

Ownership of someone's feelings. Described sO well. Loverly chaPter

Love the emotion in this and the angst.

Characters are met. Main goal established. But could he be mistaken? Dying to read further.

They threw Sue across the floor of the basement, but she did not weep. Her emotions, numbed by the experience of being violated by several men, had left her fatigued and almost lifeless as she stumbled and rolled across the floor like a ragdoll. Colton heard his heart. The crack of each beat, like the leather lash of a whip flaying across his chest. His eyes, once as warm as a soft baby blanket, clouded over and revealed the hardness of a lake iced over in winter. Hate. Revenge. There would b

Then you ought to read The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve. However, most of the novels I read are 3rd Person Omniscient like Clark, Baldacci, Cornwell, Hollinghurst, Peretti, Nora Roberts, James Patterson, Larsson, Prouxl, Charlaine Harris, and the list goes on and on. They write in all POV but they write scenes as if you were watching a movie. Hence, my story Imagine There's No Heaven amd my one published work, Revival, is written in omniscient. I actually like omniscient.

Bravo. Standing ovation. This is a stunning idea and an equally stunning first chapter. These letters left me reeling. Emotion. Lump in the throat. Maybe because I identify with Gregory. You allowed me to identify and as such, I found this engaging, and compelling. The English used in Gregory's letter at once had me thinking he may have been in the wrong time zone. He writes the letter using an English I would expect from a Second World War soldier and Mathew picked that up too. Mathew's letter, also heartfelt, brought a tear to my eye and I found an incredible thing: I did not want these letter, both of them, to end. There is so much to like in these letters. Gregory doesn't just write a one dimensional letter. The letter, by its nature, is filled with the angst of a soldier, it shows that even a soldier with rank as himself, a soldier who is strong mentally and physically (albeit the leg wound), even this soldier requires love. It seems that he is begging for it without using the word LOVE. But that's okay, he's in character and that makes it more plausable. Well done. I look forward to the next chapter.

I like to think I can write in most viewpoints. You know, it's a magical thing that the writer can tell his story as an observer or as a participant and there are many narrative positions to write from, not just the three all mentioned above. The POV will influence the way characters and events are presented. I mean, this may seem silly, but consider how different Cinderella would be if told by Cinderella herself, or even the handsome prince, or by a third narrator who sympathises with the ugly sisters, rather than by a detached observer who sees both sides objectively. Any other version of Cinderella would involve differencesin style as well as interpretation of the story, or the information in the story. To me, 1st person provides authenticity and involvement. It's a story personally told. The story belongs to the character telling the story and there is no room for detachment. 1st person is limited to what one person could reasonably experience. The problem here is that, because of his involvement in the story, he may misinterpret causes or motives. The 1st person narrator present things as a product of their own personality, and the reader will notice possible prejudice in the telling. The Direct Observer POV is another narrative probability. This kind of narrator is not tied to the time and place of the action, and can, by selecting the appropriate material, make the story move quickly. As an observer, the narrator cannot reveal all that is happening inside the minds of characters, unlike the omniscient observer, who has the advantage of being entirely trustworthy in the presentation of the story, as he sees everything he wants to see, even into the minds of his characters. The problem here is that the omniscient observer can sometimes seem to know too much, and the intimacy that draws a reader into the story as an excited participant may be lost. There is a beautifully written short story by Isaac Asimov called The Last Question and is to me, the ultimate example of omniscient narration.

Kevin and Jules. Accomodating characters. Zane. Um... Neat character too, i like his attitude well written. He has a lot of pent up anger. Now who does the leg belong to? Hmmm such a well written story. Liking it more each time i read.

The message in this story is that, in order to move forward, let bygones be bygones. No use to carry luggage into a rekindled love.

Well, Fishie I am happy you read mine woop woop!

welocme ladyauthorsld. You certainly will enjoy your stay here. There's a little something for everyone at GA.

Good Grief Mr. Andy! Step aside Mr. King...

Welcome and hope you enjoy posting.