LJH

At Sasha: a rocking Zombie book the musical LOL. At James: thanks for the review.

Tell the writer to describe the main character through the eyes of another character. Say things like: try to not start with a description of your main character looking at himself in a mirror. Ease in the description. Let it flow. Let it flow. Let it flow. In other words Show, don't tell. Draw up a list of words that publishers hate. I have that list if you want it i could send it to you in a PM. Hugs

Beta = developmental editor. Helps with developing the story. Everything said, i agree with. Except that i am one of those harsh do as i say editors. I do line by line and proofreading. I make the change and underline it and leave a comment. If you dont go with my logic, a logic based on the rules of literature, then I am not for you. Get another editor. I am not there to write your story. And i won't. Dont put a four page description of your school or hospital or house and your main character and twenty other characters in chapter one. I will cut. Dont change tenses midway through a sentence. Cut cut. Dont start with a description of main character, snip. Hence, it is easy for me to cut 2000 words at the beginning of a shabby start. start close to the main action. The rest will follow. Etc. Once i have edited, i do a restructure. Its your task to see if that restructure works for you or not. Hence, my edit takes two to three days. Editing is not a game. It is a time consuming, serious part of writing. Forgive the errors, i am typing this from my phone.

Happy Birthday and many happy returns ... Hugs

Cat or dog. Doesn't matter. I would give then accompany him to the bank to deposit it .... ummmmm...yeah, I know....

With pleasure. Waiting in anticipation. Cant wait too long though lol. I really thought my boy Corbin was sick and tired or just died ... But i know that with you that won't happen.

Thank you so much for your comments. I hope you found the story easy reading. I actually wrote it to pay homage to my hero, now anti-hero, Oscar Pistorius. In 2010 he was still very much my hero. Alas, how things can go wrong in a few years. I tried to rewrite the story without the ghost thing, but it doesn't work. Glad you enjoyed it.

Yes. Neat start. I can identify. Was in the same boat until guys started saying i was a looker. But yeah, always kind of glossy when my friends got involved and i was a loner. Seems like yesterday. Nice start. Look forward to the next.

Thanks Mann. The story, being a thriller, is fast paced and I have to keep that in mind when I place the elements on paper. Each element I use must enable the reader to want to know what will happen next, right to the end. I know the end, and everything in the earlier chapters leads to it organically. I hope. The plot is not predictable...not until the very last page. I rarely edit my stuff. What you see and read is a first draft, so any plot line errors that you come across please share with me so I can make the changes. I don't see things getting better for Colton or Richard in the next few chapters, but I can promise you that when it does get better, it's going to shake you to the core. Hugs

Thank you Jo Anne. It was a difficult chapter to write because I really wanted things to change for the better, however, my characters wouldn't allow me to do that. I mulled over Bernard's death for a long time...nearly three weeks before I had the guts to write it. I asked myself why so many times. bernard had so much to offer in this story and now it's too late. The question remains, will the story be better without him, or will the story suffer. I certainly hope the story will get better. I think the question is, will something good come out of his passing? I certainly hope so.

Thanks for the read. I can't hide things from you LOl. You are very observant. Great memory there. Richard is using an old ploy by making his son younger so that Peter might leave him alone. It's all cleared up in another chapter to come. hugs

Thabks for the observations...I'll check it out and make the changes. Thanks for the read. Your input is always important to me.

Sorry for the late reply. I've been away from GA for a while. Well, not spending as much time here as I should. So much to do. Life catches up. Thanks for the kind words about the story. Yeah, Ma is a surprising character and she's surprising me too. I love the thriller. But I try to put in a little romance when I can, when the characters allow me to ... lol

Richard grabbed Colton by the shoulders and jerked him towards the door where Bernard and Sue waited. He shoved him behind Bernard who grasped his hand. Bernard smiled comfortingly at Colton as he pulled him closer. Richard nodded at Sue. They were ready to move. One step at a time. Once through the door Sue signalled for everyone to get down on their knees and crawl across the wooden floor while she remained alert. Weapon poised. Trigger finger ready to squeeze. Suddenly Bernard stopped cra

My condolences to Vic's family. I will miss him. This comes hard. Goodbye Vic.

Congrats Andy wooooop woop ahooooooooooooooooo

Samurai.

Well, I read From Behind Those Eyes and I must tell you that it drew me in from the first word. This love story captivated me and had me glued the enotre day. I couldn't put it down. The love between the two characters is so strong and unrequited. The writing is top notch and the story is even better. I just loved it.

Thanks for the comment and review. I will def. go into the chapter and fix up. Good observations. Apart from those gremlins I am glad you are enjoying the story. Stay close, let's see how this journey develops and ends. Hugs

Thank you Mann. pacing is very important in a crime/thriller based story. Who wins in the end? Whi is good? Who is bad? Sue is good, isn't she? But she's a killer too. That makes her bad? There are more questions than answers. Everything I see in a person who follows the good, has a little bit of bad. That's why she doesn't want Colton to use a gun. Stay close

Michael, thanks for reading. Jack's death gives Colton a deeper and authentic motivation for what's coming up. Stay close.

A pleasure. And thanks for reading, Jo Ann. The first part is almost done. The second part begins, but this time not weith a bang. LOL

Ownership of someone's feelings. Described sO well. Loverly chaPter

Love the emotion in this and the angst.

Characters are met. Main goal established. But could he be mistaken? Dying to read further.