AFriendlyFace

A year and 9 months ago I took him home. He cried the whole way home while his sister lay next to him peacefully resting. Once I'd gotten them inside and let them out of their box he promptly went and hid behind the washer and I barely saw him for the next week. Meanwhile his sister busied herself exploring their new home and encouraging him to come out and join us. Eventually Timmy settled settled down and while he was still nervous around people he was mostly sane. He'd often get himself into trouble, spill things, shred things, but mostly he wasn't too bad. Lucky was always a little angel. On the way to Houston he screamed his head off the entire trip. Lucky (from what I told) slept for most of it, but would give a soothing, purring response if spoken to. Now that we've all been here for awhile and everyone's had time to get into a new routine in a new environment one thing stands out: Timmy's bad behaviour. He's always been a handful, but lately he seems much worse. He's constantly shredding things, messing up the carpet, climbing on things he has no business climbing on, and screaming his head off. He's also being purposely bad. He'll get on a table or desk, look at me, sometimes even speak to me, then knock things off. If I shoe him off of one thing he'll often go straight to something else he's not meant to do. A few weeks ago he broke a window, and more recently he shredded a semi-important document. Basically he's driving me crazy. In less than 24 hours I'll be leaving for a visit back home. I'll get to see my family and I'll be attending the graduation party of a good friend. If I made the decision I could take Timmy back with me and leave him at my mom's. He'd be an out door cat which is a catch 22 kind of situation. He'd have more room, and he'd have more things he could play with, but it would be a more dangerous environment for him. He'll definitely remember my mom and probably my grandparents and he likes them. The main problem would be that the two most important in his life wouldn't be there - myself and Lucky. It's just a hard decision to make. I definitely feel like this is what I want, I'm just fed up spending all my time saying, "Stop that" and cleaning up after him. I know they'd treat him well, and in many ways I think it might be best for him. It's just that he and Lucky are SO close. Not a day goes by....heck not 4 hours goes by, without them laying together, cleaning each other, or gently playing. I've never seen two cats that were closer. Seperating them seems like a horrible thing to do...which of course honestly is why I took Timmy in the first place. It just brings up so many complicated thoughts and feelings for me. I mean on one level I just feel like a failure for not being able (or willing??) to handle him. I'm scared of the implications this has with regards to my potential skill as a parent. I'm also worried it makes me selfish in general, irresponsible. Yet on the other hand it's like this seems like the perfect opportunity to solve the problem, he'd get a good home, and I could quit worrying about everything. When it comes down to it I just don't particularly like the idea of spending the next 10 or 15 years of my life babysitting him....but then that makes me feel mean and selfish again. I also keep putting myself in Timmy and Lucky's place. I mean their relationship is really quite nice. It almost seems like seperating two people who were in love. I mean it's just a terrible thing to do. Plus as needy and clingly as he is I have no doubt about his affection for me. I really do love him...but as my mom pointed out I've always favoured Lucky. Well perhaps not...I mean they're just very different, you have to care about them in different ways. Lucky's really what I wanted and expected from a cat. She's a total doll, cuddly and affectionate, but very low maintance. She's seldom clingy, she's not loud or rambunctious; she's very self-contained. Timmy's just the opposite. I don't know what I'd have done without her to help look after him all this time. I couldn't get a moment's peace if she wasn't there to help divide his attention. I just don't know how they'll do on their own. I mean I think she'll be sad at first but get over it and keep doing her own thing. With him I have no idea, he really seems to need her..... Anyway I'm just not sure what to do. On top of that I feel guilty and selfish. I also feel like this is an embarrassment and disappointment to my mom. She didn't exactly say that so I'm probably just projecting here, but it's like if I compare coming out to her and this...well it's like with the coming out she might have been disappointed about the situation regarding biological grandkids, but I wasn't really concerned that she was disappointed in me....this seems like something she might specifically be disappointed in me about. I don't know it's probably projection though I'm disappointed in myself...On the other hand I'm sure this is the decision I want. Anyway as of right now (of course I've been back and forth at least 5 times in the last 24 hours with my mind "firmly" made up) I'm planning to leave here tomorrow around 7:00AM with Timmy. I'll be there until late Tuesday so he'll have me around a little bit at first to perhaps ease the transition and if he's absolutely miserable I can still take him home with me. Assuming he stays I guess I can think of it as a "trial seperation". I wasn't planning on going back for my birthday at the end of the month, but if he's miserable, and/or Lucky and I are unhappy, then I guess I can go back and pick him up then. It's just a crummy situation on lots of levels regardless of what I ultimately decide. Feedback about this would be appreciated, I'll definitely look before I leave in the morning and I'd be happy to hear reasons why I'm making a mistake (and thus could reconsider) or why I'm doing the right thing and should rest easy. Anyway best wishes to all and lets all keep Mark in our thoughts (and prayers if you're the type) for a full and speedy recovery! Kevin

Well they're a bit young for me but personally I always found Ron cuter than Harry....of course I do have a thing for redheads

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Joe!! I'm inclinded to agree with Vic in that you should just try to take the initiative and ask him out yourself. It doesn't have to be as harsh and painful as all that. I mean if you guys are talking about movies say, "hey, why don't we go see that tonight?" (make sure you pick a specific day and not just "sometime"). If you're talking about food or restuarants, "I love sushi, why don't we grab some Friday and then hang out?" That way it's not like you're putting it all on the line. If he's not interested he'll come up with some POLITE excuse and you can take the hint and save your pride. If he is interested (and it totally sounds to me like he is ), he'll jump at the chance. OR he honestly won't be able to make whatever you had in mind, but you'll probably be able to tell from his reaction AND it'll put him in the position of "next up" to do the asking out. Could be fun, but personally speaking this would make me completely back off. EXACTLY what I was thinking when I read that part in your blog. I HATE talking on the phone to new people for personal reasons. I'm fully comfortable talking to people on the phone if I've done it several other times. OR if it's completely business related (or for any specific, tangible objective), but I'm uncomfortable at first just calling "to chat" with people I've never talked to on the phone before (or infrequently). I mean I want to do it and I'm getting MUCH better, but I'd really hate for people to form their primary impression of me based on the first couple of early phone calls. Now when it comes to online chat I'm completely comfortable and it's one of my favourite ways to communicate. Bottom line though, I'd say go by how he seems in person, not on the phone or internet. That's the nearest to the "real" him that you're going to get...I mean if it worked out you wouldn't be dating him so you could spend time with him on the phone or online would you? You'd want him to be physically there, so I'd say go by that. ...and if he's TICKLING YOU! anyway just my thoughts. Take care and have an awesome day! and good luck Kevin

YAY!! Hope he continues to recover quickly and completely! Kevin

Personally I don't care for tattoos at all. I'm 100% sure I'd never want one. On other people...well I've been attracted to people with tattoos, but it's always been "in spite of" never because of, so I certainly wouldn't say I'd never date someone with a tattoo but if for someone reason it was my option (which obviously it never would be), I'd prefer they didn't have any. With piercings I've "loosened up" quite a bit. I'd still never get one myself. I still find people more attractive without them. But I can ignore them much more easily, and they're pretty low on my list of concerns. Kevin

Happy Birthday Coley!!! I hope you have an awesome day and get everything you want! Kevin

Thanks for the advice everyone....I guess I'll just have to make a fake last name Ohh grrr! I was so excited, but I can't get the page to load Take care everyone and have a great day! Kevin Aimeson (I'm practicing )

So I've finally decided to take the plunge and set up a myspace account. There's just one problem: my name. I really don't care for my real name to be public information. I don't want people to be able to find me specifically by searching for my name (if they search for my user name fine, or if they bring me up as part of a blanket search for people in the area, or interests or whatever also fine). I also don't want random people reading my profile to be able to have access to my name. So anyway I was wondering how I could prevent people from finding me in searches for my name and from finding out my name by reading my profile (I'm just talking about my real name, I don't care about whatever username I decide to make). I also don't want alot of security or advanced privacy. Offhand this is about the only thing (I'd put into the system at all) that I'm interested in keeping private. I do want people to be able to find my if they aren't specifically looking (if that makes sense) or if they're looking by user name or something. And I do want random people to be able to read my profile, i just don't want them to have access to my name. I know it seems a little paranoid, but my (last) name and age have always been things I was hesistant to reveal online. I've mostly gotten over the age thing when it comes to places like this (and myspace for that matter), though I still don't care to reveal my age on gaming sites or random chat rooms and things. So anyway I figured alot of you guys must know some stuff about myspace, or be better at finding that sort of thing than me. So if anyone could tell me how to make my real name (and preferably just my name) private I'd REALLY appreciate it! Thanks and have an awesome day everyone! Kevin

Hey Nick! First of all congrats on being all legal and ready to roll! I'm sure you're a GREAT driver! Sounds like you had a really good time on the trip! So you never did figure out what the small was on the airplane? That is pretty scary! At least you slept for the flight home! I'm so proud of Taylor for taking care of that guy and his rude remarks too! I hope he does write something. I know I seem to suffer from the same problem. I've got a million ideas, but I never manage to put any of them on paper...or if I do I get distracted and never get back to it. It really sucks So glad you got to walk around El Vista like you wanted to Yay, for your great great grandmother! I hope I'm still gambling at 100 Poor James and the cute starbucks guy! I can just imagine him going back over and over to talk to him lol. Anyway I can't wait to read more of Bodega bay! You had a REALLY amazing first chapter! Take care and have a teriffic day! Kevin

Dan is right. I'm not mildly allergic to something in the house I grew up in. Although in general I've been healthier since I moved out so perhaps it always got me a little. Much worse now though. Anyway you may get readjusted and if not at least you can hope that wherever you move to the allergin won't follow. Good to know. Sharon

Welcome to the board Objectivist! It's really great to have you here Well personally I'm one of my favourite people to take out. Yesterday I treated myself to a romantic dinner, and then eventually ended up in a warm bubble bath with candles and a glass of wine. It was fantastic! ......I really need a boyfriend don't I? Kevin

Happy Birthday, James!! I hope you have a really teriffic day and an even more amazing year! You're a fantastic person and I wish you all the best Kevin

nifty Pics awesome garden big elephant

Hey Viv! Awww you're welcome . You did a WONDERFUL job on Just Say It and I hope everyone reads it and talks about it! I too would definitely like to give Ronnie and extra and a good luck! anyway take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

I want to commend Kitty for her hard work and time spent organizing and going through all the entries and Luigi for his hard work with the page layouts (which looked really great!). They did an awesome job and you can really tell when you look at the end product! Thanks you guys! Kevin

Hey CJ I really enjoyed this story! I thought it was well told and very humourous. Especially when the doctor said:

Well as you know I too completely hate driving 9/10 times. I think it's because basically I consider it an essentially dangerous activity. On the other hand I like learning new skills so I was pleased to learn how to drive one. Definitely true! After awhile you really won't "think" about it at all. me too, Tim! Drives me crazy looking for clutches that aren't there There's definitely a difference of oppinion about the best way to learn and the best way to take off in general. For me speed of take off is of absolutely no priority. I almost never accelerate quickly. I'll top off at the speed limit (or maybe a tad faster ), but I always take my sweet time getting there. I also stop and slow down very gradually. I like to use both the accelerator and the brake as little as possible, and I've always driven this way regardless of what type of vehicle I've driven. As such unless I'm on an incline I don't use the accelerator at all when I take off. I just very gradually release the clutch. So rest assured it's completely possible to take off without using the accelerator at all. It can even be done in 2nd gear as long as you're on level ground and you let it out slowly. When I was first learning people always told me to depress the accelerator as I slowly released the clutch; however, like you I found this to be a rather difficult exercise in pediatic coordination. So I preferred to just focus on the clutch. I think it's also more wear on the clutch if you "floor it" while releasing it too. On the other hand it is true that the faster you've got the engine running the less likely you are to die out though so that may be worth considering. Anyway Matty bottom line I think, like me, you need a boy who's willing to drive all the time -Kevin

Well it's not like these are the first people to use sex appeal as a marketing tool

Happy Birthday Jas!!!! I hope it was an awesome one Kevin

Happy Birthday, Anthony!! I hope you had a truly amazing day and may your year be filled with much joy and happiness! all the best, Kevin

Hey Ronnie, Well first I want to give you a . I'm mostly inclined to agree with Vic. It's good to hope for the best, but it's also prudent to be prepared for the worst. You should tell her when YOU'RE ready, and not just to get it over with. I'm not saying you should necessarily put it off either if you're sure the time is right. I'm just saying be careful. I'd also recommend that you tell the "easy" people first. I mean maybe you have a casual friend who you know for a fact would be cool with it (and keep it to his/herself). True their reaction might not be that important to you, but it's still useful for getting comfortable with the whole process and gaining some confidence. The first person I ever came out to was this cool like hippy lesbian I was really close with. So I mean it's not like I was really sweating how she'd take it Are you at all friends with any gay people or people openly supportive of gays? Anyway in the end I think it'll have to be something you decide on your own, all I can do is offer you my best wishes! Good luck, let us know what happens, and remember we're here for you as much as possible. Kevin

aww thanks glomph! I actually thought you were here BEFORE me, so clearly you did too lol. Happy almost anniversary! Have a fantastic day and take care Kevin