AFriendlyFace

LOL, in most cases people can reach me more quickly via the traditional postal service than through email. This is because I check my mail nearly everyday (not quite but nearly), whereas I only check my email once a week at best, often quite a bit less. The only way I would ever have a pen pal is if it didn't require an actual pen. I absolutely loathe the physical act of writing with every fiber of my being I do the absolute bare minimum of physical writing and I still feel extremely put out and irritated when I do. That said, I'd be perfectly happy to type up a letter and mail it. I just won't handwrite it. Which really is good for the other person too if they actually intend to read it I've done the above, typed postal correspondence, on a few occasions and not been at all adverse to it. I also wrote (typed) my best friend a letter last month for his birthday telling him how much he meant to me. Thought it was more personal than simply getting him a card and gift, which I also did, but he was indeed thrilled with the letter. Personally speaking I'm happy when I receive paper correspondences from friends and families. Actually though, I also have the preference that they type it as well unless they have a remarkably nice handwriting. My eyes are terrible and it strains them even more trying to decipher people's script. Good topic, Michelle -Kevin

Thanks Dion I hope you like the other stuff as well!!

A brief recount of my weekend and week thus far: All last week Luke kept pestering me about not spending enough time with him (he's clingy...and I occasionally make long posts). So we agree to meet up Friday night. So I'm tired Friday night, but I fix myself up and get ready anyway, wouldn't be fair to cancel on him right? WELL, I call him, right on time mind you, and he announces that he's gone off to the movies with Scott, John, and another guy. Based on the way he explained it, I readily deduced that it was actually a sort of bitter, revenge thing because I've been so busy all week and not had any time for him. You'd think I'd be angry right? You'd be wrong. I didn't particularly care at all. Anyway, I contemplated having a nice quiet night in (which I'd have really enjoyed), but ultimately opted to make plans with a guy I've been talking to for a little impromptu date (which was also quite fun). His name is Michael. He's a rich, Wiccan, ex-model, California boy, who's also quite well-traveled...all that and he's still a bit younger than me! Anyway, needless to say he's led a fascinating life. He was also well-cultured, well-informed, and able to hold an intelligent conversation. You'd think I'd be interested eh? Nope again. I think it's because he primarily seems to be looking for a serious, fairly long-term, but impermanent relationship. I on the other hand would be happy with either a casual, light relationship OR beginning gradually working up to a serious, committed, ostensibly permanent relationship. But serious and temporary doesn't really fly with me. Seems like a recipe for heartbreak. Apart from which I really don't have time for a relationship, not a serious one anyway. Things are just way too busy. Considering I'm the sort of person who never gets bored no matter how calm, and uneventful things get, and who instead really likes and needs a good bit of that in his life, you can understand why I'm so tired and stress. Adding a serious boyfriend - whom I shouldn't rationally expect to be with on a very long-term basis - just isn't top of my list of things to do. Nevertheless, I liked him and he was interesting. So I'll call him again sometime to do something as friends. Speaking of friends that brings us to Saturday. A friend of mine - Adam, haven't mentioned him before here - is moving away soon. So he had a going away party at his house. Oh my gosh it was so fun! Scott, Luke, and I all went plus a bunch of other people obviously. Interestingly - though hardly surprising - Scott informed that he tried to get a hold of me the night before (which he did I had the missed call, but he was already in the movie and couldn't answer when I returned it). Evidently Luke tried to stop him. He said, "Oh Kevin said he wouldn't be able to make it tonight." Big liar! I knew he was doing the bitter "I'm mad at you so I'm going to make plans with you then purposely keep you out" thing. Scott was really pissed, far more than me actually. But then Scott's always more pissed at Luke than I am these days. Anyway, more on Luke later. I had the most awesome time at the party! I just love Adam's boyfriend Sean! He's the coolest! He's gorgeous for one thing, but he could look like hell and still be fun to be around with the personality he's got going. He's extremely witty, quite camp, obscenely cheerful, freakishly nice, and incredibly friendly. But none of that is irritating! He also happens to be very intelligent and well-educated. All that he's also, at least from what I can tell, a really terrific boyfriend to Adam which makes Scott and I very happy indeed (Luke considerably less so since he himself was interested in Adam). Apart from the joys of time with Adam and Sean (which as I said are quite jubilant anyway), we also make several new friends. Most notably a delightfully sweat couple. One of them is out-going and friendly, the other is nice but shy. It's adorable because they both look like straight guys. I mean, my gaydar - which is quite well-developed - might miss them if I didn't know (and if they weren't cuddling as they're apt to do). Now obviously, as I've said many times, I don't have much of a fascination with straight guys, so the 'straight acting' gay really isn't my thing. Indeed I still wasn't attracted to them at all, but I still thought it was just frickin' adorable because it looked like two straight guys cuddling and sitting on each other's laps. It was just really cute Anyway, then we all went clubbing, sans Luke who went home early [begin bitch mood] which actually rather pleased Scott and I [end bitch mode]. For once we were able to get Scott dancing on the raised platform areas they have - which I think is just way more fun. So we had a delightful time. Sunday crazy busy as well. First we (Scott, Luke, and I) had our Sunday school class. As I've said many times I belong to a very liberal United Methodist Congregation. We've been doing a discussion series on 'controversial topics' and Sunday's was homosexuality. Needless to say the three of us, plus the other gay members of the class (there's about 4 or 5 others that regularly go and a smaller handful that occasionally go), were really looking forward to this discussion. It was really nice. No one said anything homophobic and everyone seemed to support acceptance and equal rights for gays in the church LOL, naturally Scott and I were quite outspoken, which actually led me to speculate later that perhaps some of the other members of our class may indeed have been slightly uncomfortable or conservative on the topic but didn't feel comfortable voicing their opinion given the presence of such a relatively large contingent of gays and gay-affirming allies. Scott said this was nonsense. I hope he's right. Either way though, good discussion and even though I've never really struggled with my faith and sexuality it's nice to see that so many others - especially straights - don't see a conflict with it either. Anyway, then we had service then our class met back up and went to lunch (as we do every week). It was delicious by the way! I'd never been to the restaurant but it was awesome and I really had fun. Then Scott and I went to get our hair and eyebrows done. The results were also very satisfactory as far as we're concerned, lol We'd planned to go shopping afterwards, but right as we were finishing up William called us so we met up with him and had some drinks and caught up. He told us all about his new boyfriend...whom he's already having trouble with, but that's William for you. Anyway, I really love that guy! He's just an awesome person and it was so much fun the three of us hanging out like old times. Between mine and his frantically busy schedules it's been difficult to get together. Apart from which since he and Scott are no longer roommates AND since he now actually lives in a fairly remote part of the city, we just don't all get to hang out much anymore (whereas that's practically all we did before they both moved lol). So yeah, great times! We went to Ikea and critiqued the various furniture and housewares (and each other's taste ). Yep, good times. Next I took Scott home where of course we met up with Luke, and coincidentally FF (former friend). That's when things got a bit...interesting. Scott's been convinced that Luke is spying on all of us, getting personal information, and perhaps having us watched. This bothers Scott considerably. I'm not as upset as one might thing. I've actually kinda always thought that was a very good possibility and it fits with his personality. So it's just sorta old news to me. I don't think he does it that much. I don't have anything to hide, and I don't think he's at all dangerous. He's just really insecure, paranoid, clingy, and more than a little obsessive. Anyway, we were hanging out and Luke made a remark about one of my bills which he really shouldn't have had the knowledge to make. I don't really discuss my bills with my friends, and in any case I knew I hadn't discussed it with Luke. I was going to let it pass. Scott wasn't. He confronted Luke about the whole thing and started to go off on him. Naturally Luke got defensive. At this point FF suggested that the two of them take this opportunity to clear the air and discuss their problems while there were two other people present to keep things from getting too heated or personal. Obviously I know a good bit about psychology (what with it being my degree and all), and so does FF since he's spent so many years in therapy (I really don't mean that as a caustic remark at all. He honestly is very knowledgeable about how effective discussion and conflict resolution should take place). So I actually think it helped alot. They got a lot of their stuff out and they were able to discuss it pretty well. I got an amusing sensation of being a therapist at one point too. FF had gone back inside. It was just after sunset and we were reclining on the lounge chairs by the pool (as I said, I wouldn't get in the pool, and if it hadn't been dark I probably wouldn't have been near it, but since it was it was actually quite pleasant). Anyway at one point Scott finished saying something fairly significant and they were both quite. So I turned to Luke (I was on the chair in the middle) and said, "And how do you feel about that, Luke?" LOL, I just realized it was like the classic couple's therapist line. Worked though, Luke proceeded and they talked out a bunch of stuff. The only real drawback is that since Luke and Scott's relationship was in much more trouble than mine and Luke's, and since I therefore needed to let them focus on their stuff and just be neutral, I didn't get a chance to talk to Luke about any of our stuff, and that would have been a bit nice as well. I was also struck with the irony that for the first several minutes FF and I were clamming them down and getting them to effectively communicate whereas several months ago it would have been very fitting for them to have been doing that to/for us. Interestingly for all our vaunted communication skills FF and I never have discussed our issues since the friendship first ended. So that was my busy weekend. Monday I got a ticket from a cop for running a stop sign. Which I did, but I did it knowingly and carefully. It was a rolling stop deal and no one was coming. My approach to traffic laws is that they should only be obeyed when they make sense and a relevant. So when visibility is such that no one is clearly coming I really do feel perfectly free to run stop signs and red lights. I pride myself on my intellectual, reasoned approach to morals and ethics and quite clearly there's no rational reason to sit there and wait when no one is in the area. It does no good and does moderate harm (delaying me, burning ever slightly more fuel, potentially causing traffic bottlenecks if people come up behind me, etc). Anyway, the frickin cop was just really rude. Totally irritated me! And the ticket is outrageous! Interestingly, I suspect that most people, particularly people in there early 20s, would be more apt to turn to their friends for solace and not mention it to their mother. Not me though. I knew I could count on mom to commiserate and expect only lectures and gentle reproach from the rest of my friends. Thus, I've decided not to tell them, but I promptly called up my mom and vented! Monday night I actually had another sorta date. Blah, it's complicated. Wasn't as interested in this one. May also hang with him again as friends though. Can't have too many friends right? Actually, I almost feel as though I do. I have so many friends whom I feel like I have obligations too now...ugh, it's just a bit overwhelming. And don't get me wrong, I'm crazy about them and feel very lucky...it's just I need more personal time alone. Anyway, I'm off to bed. On a final note I'm also very busy with school and work so in all likelihood I won't be around quite as much, and certainly won't be as prolific, for the next couple of weeks (more like three probably - till my current class ends). Take care all

Awww you guys should have anyway! I bet it woulda been interesting. But cool anyway and thanks for reading

Cool info, Gabe I'm glad I got to provide the survey for you

Actually, that's kind of a good analogy for Coffee I think. It sort of is like the 'out-takes'. I guess I meant it as a little something extra for those that do want to read it. I agree with and appreciate your comments though! Thanks Jess Awww, I'm sorry, Gabe. On the bright side Chapter 8 is out now, and ...well I'm sure it's still Sunday somewhere Seriously, sorry about that (everyone), and I'll do better in the future Well that is a consoling picture! Here's the link to chapter 8: Turning Japanese I hope you guys enjoy it!

Are you tan? Goodness no! I'm naturally a very fair-skinned person and I'm obsessive about skin care/health. Tanning is a really bad thing for someone like me to do to their skin. I occasionally use moisturizer with a subtle tanner in it, and I think I have a decent 'glow/colour' thing going on (I'm in good health), so I don't have the pale goth look either. Do you use proactive? Nope, like I said, I take good care of my skin and I'm lucky to have nice skin anyway. Do you own chanel perfume? I'm a boy, so no. Do you shower daily? Unless I bathe instead, and even then I usually conclude the bath with a shower. Do you go to the tanning bed? Wouldn't be found dead in one (I don't mean to sound judgmental though. I personally don't advise tanning beds, but I'm all for people doing what they want, and I definitely wouldn't criticise someone for going to one) Do you wear nail polish? I've worn nail polish. Either black (once) when I was having fun with a punky emo look, or on a few occasions a discrete clear after a manicure. It's definitely not something I do on a regular basis though...although unfortunately manicures aren't something I do on a regular basis anymore, and if they were I'd probably get the clear nail polish every once in awhile. In any case, unless I'm going for that extreme freaky look, I don't want people to say 'oh look he's wearing nail polish', just 'oh look what nice nails' which may be aided by nail polish. Do you use MAC make-up? Nope, I do use a little Cover Girl foundation every once in awhile (about once a week, maybe twice) when I'm going out, but again the point isn't for people to notice that I'm wearing make-up, just to think how nice I look, which again might be aided by a discrete amount of make-up. Bottom line: IF I'm wearing make-up or clear nail polish and you can tell then it's too much. Do you straighten your hair everyday? Used to, don't anymore. It's too much of a hassle and I'm generally letting my hair take a break from dying and straightening right now....instead I just use crazy intense conditioner and like 4 or 5 products to try to get the straight look without the iron FRIENDS Name all your best friends: Errr, that's nosy. I'll just name my real-world best friends and no internet friends, not because I don't value the internet friends a great deal, but because if I name any it'll feel like a stupid popularity contest or something. So: Scott, William, Jesse, Megan, Rocky, Steven, John, Claire, and Amanda are my closest friends. Also Luke, but Scott, John, William and I are all having some rough times with him just now. I hope/think/assume we'll get over it though. Is the term Best Friends a label or promise? Gonna steal Viv's answer: I think it's a relationship and a commitment. I try not to label anything... Do you have more than 1 TRUE best friend? Yes Do you hang out with your friends every day? NO, I'm an extremely social person, but I'm also an extremely solitary person. It's sorta two polar opposites that both need representation for me to be happy and balanced. So at least some days I need to be alone and have some space. What is the longest you have been in a fight with your bff? My 'bff'? LOL, I would never use that term! I also don't tend to get in outright 'fights' with my friends, neither physical nor even serious verbal ones in which we actually separate angry at each other. As I said I'm going through some complicated, difficult times with Luke, but even that isn't really an open disagreement, just a tense undercurrent. The last time I remember having an actual "I'm angry with you and I don't want to be around you" kind of fight was with Claire our senior year of high school...then we got all emotional and we hugged and made up in a Waffle House. Is it easier to talk to your girl friends or guy friends? Uhh, gay guys or lesbians are the easiest. I like the extra 'comfort' of lesbians, but I also like the extra slight playful layer that comes with gay guys. Would be hard to pick between the two. I'm usually pretty comfortable around straight girls too, but not to quite the same extent in most cases. Straight guys are just unfathomable to me in most cases We usually get along ok, but they're generally not people I form meaningful relationships with. In any case this all just a general description but it totally depends on the person and situation. I could easily be much closer and more comfortable around particular straight guys and totally ill at ease around particular gays/lesbians/straight girls. So you never know. Would you ever date one of your close guy friends? Unlikely...I care about them too much to date or mess around with FASHION/STYLE Do you have style and originality? It's kinda one of the things I'm known for. Do you own a designer handbag? Of course not! If I were a girl then of course I would, but as a guy I would never carry a purse/handbag. Do you own something from Lacoste? I've used and liked their cologne, don't have any right now though. Do or did you wear leggings? God no! Is the color you'll never wear yellow? Nope, I like yellow...haha, just realized I'm wearing it now actually. My favourite colours to wear are Blue, Red, and Green The colour I would never wear is pink, because I think it's a hideous colour in general. I'm unlikely to wear orange because it's not a very good colour on me. Do you get fashion tips from magazines? Occasionally Do you shop at Abercrombie and Hollister? Yes...but I'm really not a clone, I prefer boutiques or more off the wall styles usually. If I'm being lazy and don't feel like putting together an original outfit I might just throw on some from those two or other popular chains (American Eagle, Express, etc.). I do like the clothes they have, and I like wearing them, but as I said I often like to look a bit more different or unique. Do you wear sweats a lot? Only if you consider 'never' alot TV/MOVIE Are you a movie freak? Not really. I'm a fairly average movie enthusiast. Have you seen over 10 movies in the past month? I don't think so; I've been way too busy. I wouldn't object to seeing over 10 movies in a month if I had the time. Do you have a show that you must watch? I don't watch TV Do you watch The Hills on MTV? I don't watch TV Have you ever seen an episode of Grey's Anatomy? I don't watch TV What is your favorite G Rated movie? Dunno Do you like classic movies? Some Do you watch 30 or more hours of tv a week? I don't watch TV Do you own over 100 dvds? No Is Law And Order awesome? I may have said this...I don't watch TV SPORTS Do you watch baseball on tv? You're really not paying attention are you? Who's your favorite baseball player? Chipper Jones Do you play basketball? Ohh, fun stuff! Haven't in far too long. Do you watch it on tv? Not going to bother answering this one. Do you swim? Sometimes when I'm alone LOL, that sounds weird. Um, I don't like to swim in the first place because it usually requires scant amount of clothing and heavy amounts of sun exposure. As I said, I tend to avoid sun exposure. If I'm going to be in the sun I prefer wearing lots of clothes. I save my scantily clad times for indoor activities That said, I like playing in the water, so sometimes I do it at night or in indoor pools. BUT I can't actually swim and I'm a tad self-conscious about that fact, so I only do it if I'm not around people I know, and ideally if I'm completely alone (which sounds dangerous, but I don't put myself into situations in which I might drown). Last time you were in a pool? Uhh, maybe two months ago one night (when I was alone). Are you good at volleyball? Yes, actually I am I love it! Is soccer cool? Totally the coolest!! It's absolutely my favourite sport! God, I want to play again! EUGHH, it sucks that all my friends are non-athletic gay boys (or non-athletic lesbians/straight girls....ohhh, is this why people like straight guys? ) Do you like to run? If I'm playing a game or in a hurry or something. Sometimes I do jog even when I'm not in a hurry because I tend to have a lot of energy and even when not in a hurry I like to get where I'm going a bit more quickly But no, I don't purposely make it a point to run for its own sake in most cases. Are you in shape? Yes Favorite sports team? The Yankees Last sporting event you attended? Last month myself and several friends went for a walk in the park and we watched a baseball for awhile that happened to be going on. MUSIC Do you like all types of music? I like most types of music What about rap? I like poppy rap with clever lyrics. Have you been to more than 5 concerts? Oh goodness yes!!! Do you like Panic at the Disco? Love 'em Are you constantly downloading music? I'm not in a constant state of downloading music, and actually lately I tend to just buy the CD or watch the vid on youtube, but yeah I do download music. Favorite Rock band? Hmm, gonna go with Three Days Grace, but it's a toss up between them and a whole heap of other rock bands. Favorite local band? Blue October. They started in Houston What is the current song on your myspace page? Given the non-existence of my myspace (or facebook) page it rather precludes having a song doesn't it? FAMILY Do you have more than 1 sibling? Full siblings no, but I do have two much younger half sisters that I wouldn't recognize if I saw. Are you closer to your mom or dad? Very close with mom. Fairly polite, almost non-existent relationship with dad. Do you like your living arangements? I love my living arrangements. I live on my own, which is great for the whole me liking my space thing, and I really like my place and my location Do you wish you could move? Yes, and I will. LOL, might sound weird given my above answers, but there are so many places I want to live that I don't want to hang around here too long. Do your grandparents spoil you? Totally! I'm pretty tight with them too Do you have any step parents or siblings? Uh huh, a step-mom I've met in person about three times, and those two half sisters. How many cousins do you have? 2 Which of your relatives lives the farthest away, and where? My dad et al, and that would be Virginia. So that's it. Additionally, I have a question to include. When it's your birthday and you blow out the candles... do you actually make a wish? I do, but since not aging is impossible it doesn't come true

Cool survey, Viv! hehe, if you don't mind I'm gonna sneak off with it as I often do when you post them

I just wanted to wish a very happy and special birthday to Julia (Siaskitten)! I hope you have an awesome day and an incredible year Take care -Kevin

That brings up an interesting point. The distinction between engagement rings and wedding rings. Like you, I'd probably prefer some sort of neck adornment for the wedding/marriage symbol. However, I might lean more traditional for the engagement and may indeed get him a ring if I'm proposing, or like receiving one if I'm proposed to (this is related to the Will you marry me? thread). I don't like wearing rings though, so I'd probably want us to stop wearing the engagement rings after the ceremony and just use whatever wedding symbol we've chosen. That does sound really beautiful! Sounds like something I might go for as well. Yes, he was a Wiccan officiator. They aren't Wiccan either, but one in particular has issues with Christianity, and either way I think they just thought the ceremony done that way would be meaningful and beautiful (which it was). Interestingly, by coincidence I had a date with a cute Wiccan boy just last night!

Well, I've certainly been around the block a few times, but I don't think sex is by any means essential to landing a good guy. Indeed my favourite boyfriend to date has been the only one I haven't slept with. Which I think is unrelated. I'd have probably enjoyed the relationship even more if we had been having sex (he wasn't ready), but even so, it was a satisfying, good time. I certainly don't see anything wrong with it if he wants to 'wait for the right guy' before he has sex. The 'right guy' (for him at least) will understand that and be willing to wait until he's ready.

Awwwwwww Good for you guys!

Awesome, thanks, CJ! LOL, I was kinda hoping at least a few people would get to read it in the right sequence. It's true...It's like boats...just try storming out of a boat! (okay, maybe boats are a bit worse actually) Thanks I wish I could take credit for being creative, but honestly I've really only ever heard the service person at a coffee shop referred to as baristas (well maybe 'cashier', or 'guy behind the counter' ) LOL, well perhaps chapter 8 will throw some more light on the situation! Thanks Dravenn! I really do appreciate that feedback. Also, I pretty much intended it to be a non-essential, information dump. I guess this makes me hypocritical for complaining about the limited feedback I got on it, but in all honesty I meant to include a note along with that went something like, "feel free not to read this if you don't want to". It definitely shouldn't impact the story at all. Unfortunately, as you may have inferred from the title "....Part 1" there IS a part 2. It comes as sort of a prologue before the sequel. If I can get several more chapters written before it's time to start posting the sequel then my intention is to release Coffee 2 and chapter 1 together. Honestly, that isn't looking good right now though. I really need to decide what I'm going to do about release dates for the sequel. There will probably be at least some delay in posting unless I can get at least another 3 or 4 more chapters written in the next few weeks. On the bright side I do have a short story planned for release after BMAD ends and before the sequel begins. It's completely separate from either story and has no common characters, but I think the general tone and feel fit pretty well. Anyway thanks for the comments ya'll -Kevin

If you like Celia, I can edit it however you want. Just let me know You lucky thing! I've always wanted gay family (apart from that cousin I'm suspicious about)! I know it sounds bad to say that I have any sort of preference for my kids' sexuality but I really hope at least one of them turns out gay or lesbian. Actually, since I'll probably adopt I might specifically try to adopt a gay or lesbian child. Don't get me wrong I'd love a straight kid just as much, and I wouldn't be 'disappointed' exactly, but it'd just be nice to have gay kids. Ya know, Beasty, if you lean over far enough you're apt to tip over I seem to remember once reading in your blog or something about a guy James was dating. Maybe he just doesn't like to date very often? I completely agree and that's exactly the way I took it to begin with. As I said, I was just being pedantic and probably a tad OCD

Hmm, well looking at her list, you could -lay around in the tub (which I really do recommend BTW) -do some online shopping (isn't it still fun to get new stuff?) -watch movies -have a cry -play an indoor game -or talk in length via phone/internet to an unsuspecting friend. Personally, I love having a nice bottle of wine and some gourmet cheese and crackers (yeah, I know it sounds pretentious but it really is fun and tasty). After which it's great to top it all off with some of that table dancing I mentioned and a nice soak in the tub

LOL, well personally speaking I can't fathom waiting in line for anything that's new. My general attitude is "it'll be there in a week and I've lived this long without it." Of course technology isn't my thing anyway. The person at the AT&T store practically made me get a bluetooth headset to go with my phone. That was approaching a year ago, I've had two other phones since then (I think it'd be compatible though, but don't really know), and I haven't even tried to use it once. I only use new technology when I have to; I almost never get excited about it. But as I said, the waiting in line just because something's just come out isn't confined to technology at all. I would be very disinclined to do it with anything. Like I don't go to movies on opening night unless my friends insist, because honestly I'd just as soon wait a week or so and go when it won't be packed and I can show up a few minutes before it starts and not worry about the tickets being sold out or having a crummy seat. However, I'm happy and excited for you, Kurt! Take care and enjoy your new toy! -Kevin

According to the case of Billy Tipton that I discussed above he said he'd been in a severe car accident.

This is wonderful, CJ! :worship: An awesome and beautiful ending to a fantastic and amazing story! Way to go! Let the Music Play! :music: :music: :music: :music: :music:

Hi all, So I absolutely do not mean this thread to be at all offensive to biological females who pass as male. In fact I hope ultimately for it to be affirming. It's something that's been on my mind a lot lately; I thought I'd start a thread on it. -First the case of Dr. James Barry. I actually don't find that wiki link to be nearly as informative as the info I've heard on him (I'll use the pronoun 'him' since that seems to be how this person chose to live his life and what he would have preferred). Basically he was a very famous and successful British army doctor who eventually attained the highest rank possible for an army doctor and led a very successful and noteworthy life. Upon his death it was discovered that he was biologically female. (The wiki casts more doubt on that than I've heard in the past, but I'll concede it's possible he was intersex or that this is all just speculation and he was a 'regular' male). -Second the case of Billy Tipton. Billy was a noted jazz musician who actually married several times and had several relationships with women. Once again it was revealed after his death that he was biologically female. -The third case is a more 'personal' one. A good friend of mine (female) was seeing this guy for over a year. They'd had sex and been very intimate when at last the person revealed that 'he' was actually a 'she'. They ultimately decided to continue their relationship. Anyway, these 'male impersonators' are very resourceful, talented, and convincing (I met my friend's partner and didn't know the difference). I really don't have a problem with this at all. I don't think it's quite the same as someone being a FTM transgendered; however in the first two cases maybe they were transgendered and that option simply wasn't open to them. In the third the person was actually deceiving my friend big time and leading a complete double life. She also identifies as a bisexual female (not male, transgendered, or as a lesbian). Basically I'm also a big proponent in people 'picking' their gender. Ultimately I think it's everyone's prerogative to live however they chose with regard to gender and sexuality. That said, I'm amazed simply at the sheer success these individuals had, living intimate lives with others who were not aware of their biological gender (while that gender remained unchanged surgically). My friend's 'boyfriend' (till he became her girlfriend), liked to do it in the dark, was always 'packing' a very realistic set of equipment, and never 'finished'. He also wore a 'back brace' which also flattened his chest. Yes, obviously upon reflection these were signs, but on the other hand "oh this must not really be a guy" isn't the first place you go when your boyfriend wears a back brace and/or has a proclivity for dimly lit intercourse. I can see how she might have been fooled, and obviously I wasn't having sex with the person myself so maybe I would have noticed. More than likely I'd have insisted that we do it with the lights on at some point and/or gently pressed for more exploratory sexual activities. Or maybe I'd have generally asked to at least watch 'him' climax on his own even if he couldn't do it in shared activities. Nevertheless, because I'm fairly sexual and sexually...uh 'creative' I think I'd have noticed at some point. However, I certainly can't be sure, especially if he was being very evasive, and I didn't want to invade his privacy or boundaries or make him feel threatened or angry. If I really cared for the 'guy' maybe I would have just accepted that he only did it with the lights off, and only in one or two ways without finishing. If you're in a relationship right now (gay male or straight female) imagine suddenly finding out that your boyfriend/partner/husband was in fact a female. How would that feel? Do you think this is something that could happen to you? Might you miss the signs that 'he' wasn't really male? -Kevin

Not to quibble, in fact I agree with you about the term having negative connotations, but just because something was once offensive or has offensive origins doesn't mean it necessarily has to remain so. Take the word "Queer" for example (which incidentally I do dislike, and personally avoid using or referring to myself as). It has fairly negative origins (you were basically calling gays "strange" or "odd") and it was definitely a very negative word for a long time. Nowadays it's much more acceptable. Regarding this word, I think it depends on where you grew up. I actually heard the word several times growing up, and I'm a bit surprised that others haven't. However, I grew up in the deep south, so maybe that's why. In the ways in which I typically heard it used it wasn't meant in an explicitly offensive way, though I concede it still wasn't politically correct. In any case, I wouldn't use it. With many things I avoid saying or doing them because I know they are offensive to some people even if they aren't offensive to me. With this particular word I wouldn't use it primarily because I do find it moderately offensive myself AND have no desire to use it. So I'm not trying to overly defend it by any means. I hope this doesn't offend any Italians (after all this whole thread is about ethnic and racial tastes and preferences, and here's a good example of someone who likes Italians), but personally I find them to be one of the least attractive ethnicities of white people. I find the Scandinavian look a lot more attractive. Generally I like the fairer complected white people. I like a good looking tan guy, but ideally I still like him with light hair and eyes, and primarily I don't want him hairy. Lots of white people with dark hair and eyes I do find very attractive, but with Italians there's too big a 'risk' that they'll be hairy. I also don't generally like the facial structure or body type/build. Anyway, this isn't definitive by any means. As I said, I'm open to all sorts of people of any race or ethnicity. For me it's a case by case basis first and foremost

You're very correct, IMO Dion. I often say that in many ways bisexuals have it worse than gay or straight people because they receive prejudice, misunderstanding, and suspicion from both sides. I wouldn't know first hand, but I bet a bisexual who came on to someone of the opposite sex at a pride parade may indeed be made to feel very uncomfortable. (which is stupid since I really think bisexuality has a valid - if not explicit - right and purpose by being there).

Errr, not to be rude - especially about such a delicate issue - but I don't think that's phrased quite the way you meant it. Right now it reads such that being gay caused him to contract AIDs and die. It probably lead to his exposure, and I can understand the correlation, but I don't think being gay specifically caused it. The specific cause, IMO, would have been the presumable unprotected sex (just theorizing he may have gotten it in other ways). Also, I'm not trying to criticise him if that was case - back in the day when he likely contracted HIV people weren't as knowledgeable about safer sex practices (because HIV/AIDs wasn't as well known). Anyway, I probably sound pedantic and rude, and I definitely know what you meant, but I just wanted to be explicit that being gay doesn't specifically cause HIV/AIDs - if for no other reason than that someone less informed about these issues might read this thread. Also, I know that likely wasn't what you meant to imply. Anyway, in my family I'm gay obviously and I strongly suspect my cousin is a lesbian, though I have no proof (and would be surprised if she were a practicing lesbian). However, my family is tiny so even one - possibly two - GLBT people in it is statistically significant. Really there's less than 10 in my immediate family on each side, so just the one confirmed case is higher than average . On a side note, because people have to respond to each question in the poll, it's actually slanted toward finding results where none might exist. For example in the second one, even though it says "if yes" you can't leave it blank. So if myself and everyone in my family were completely straight I would have still had to indicate - as the weakest form available - that someone in older generations may have been (even if I had no reason to assume this...though I guess there's probably someone gay in everyone's family tree if you go back far enough). I would suggest the addition of a "N/A" option there, and perhaps also an "Unsure" there and in a couple of other places (like maybe the 2nd to last question) Great poll though and interesting discussion! Thanks, Celia Take care all and have a great day Kevin

So you do think it's boring? LOL, actually I find that helpful since it let's me know what people like (and don't like). Honestly I didn't particularly enjoy writing it (I guess it shows). I just felt like it was necessary to write. Anyway, I really am just being lazy I'll send you chapter 8 though. -Kevin

LOL, how about a copy of chapter 8 before I post it? Honestly, the reason I came to this thread was to say that there would be a day or two delay for the posting of Chapter 8. Mainly because of the rather abysmal lack of response I got from Coffee. I'm not trying to blackmail people into commenting if they don't want to, but I honestly do feel less motivated as a result. E-Fiction is a headache and I've already dealt with it enough this week (re-uploading all those chapters). So I'm going to hold off on posting chapter 8 for a couple more days. I'll PM Ashes and Dion (who left a review in eFiction) chapter 8 since they did comment so it isn't fair to use the same excuse on them. As I said I'm not trying blackmail or punish my readers at all, and indeed quite a few of you are great about commenting (and it's much appreciated ) and simply didn't this time - which I understand, people are busy and it really wasn't that great a chapter anyway. Anyway, uploading the chapter as an attachment in the PM is much easier and quicker than going through the eFiction process, so that's my excuse and reasoning. In the meantime anyone can feel free to comment here or PM me and I'll send them chapter 8. Either way it'll be up late tomorrow or Saturday, Sunday at the latest. Again, not punishment or whining, just me being lazy and unmotivated -Kevin

All those qualities sound like something I would want as well. Especially the multilingual thing. Another thing I'm a sucker for is artistic or musical guys. No, but there are all sorts of other things you'd probably like, or actively dislike, which didn't make the list. I suspect these missing (or present) features make the people who posses the ones specifically mentioned seem less attractive. For example what if the guy has all those features but absolutely refuses to use deodorant? Of may he has all those qualities but also happens to enjoy extreme S&M...I suspect those things might make him seem less charming even though they didn't warrant mentioning on your list