AFriendlyFace

I suspect you're right, Tim. It usually takes so long for gay people to work out their sexuality, come out, and start dating that - I would think - they often don't start dating and having sex until an older age. For example, I think most straight people have their first boyfriend/girlfriend much younger than the average gay person has his/her first boyfriend/girlfriend. On the bright side this trend seems to be decreasing as GLBT youth come out at a younger and younger age, face less stigma, and accept and embrace their sexuality earlier!

Honestly, I worry about this sometimes. I'm sure I am gay, but I'm pretty sexually open and exploratory and I don't feel like women are completely 'off the table' for me. However, it would be a pretty difficult situation for me to be in if I found myself in a 'straight' relationship. I'm really involved in the gay world. All my friends are gay, and a large part of my identity and plans in life hinge on the fact that I'm gay (I eventually want to get a doctorate in sexuality/gay studies and plan to do quite a bit of activism, research, and university teaching on this topic). So being "straight" would be a pretty crummy thing to happen to me. I think I could deal with it, but it would throw me for quite a loop. So I guess that's why I worry about it sometimes. :wacko: I don't think I'm obsessive about it by any means though, and I really do think it's an irrational, pointless, inaccurate fear. This is very true!

Oh God, Steve! I'm so sorry! ...wait, you're probably dealing with this better than I would be. So uh...Happy Birthday :hug: I hope you can make it a good one! Have a terrific day! You're super nifty He put on his favourite clothes and went out to his favourite restaurant! While there he met...

Ah, a prime example of when word order is very relevant! I know how these things are though. Several months ago I was having lunch with a co-worker and I spilled a slight amount of salad dressing on my shirt. We had a meeting later so I was not pleased about the stain (well actually in all honestly I probably wouldn't have been particularly delighted even if we hadn't had a meeting later ). Anyway, she said, "Don't worry, I've got a [sounded like 'tie pin'] in the car." Now I was thinking, That's just ridiculous! First of all it would look silly (I wasn't wearing a tie, it was just a dress shirt), second I didn't see how I tie pin would cover the stain completely. Later, when I got in the car she opened the glove compartment and pulled out a Tide Pen. Which was indeed helpful! Anyway you just never know what you're going to get when discussing neckties Well you are special, dude BTW, I think the pics are adorable too!

Interestingly there's not quite the same plethora of options when you're researching something like the last stages of the Bubonic Plague and it's effect on mental and emotional functioning...you can find some info, but for some bizarre reason it's a bit more difficult than if you wanted to know about the mechanics of sex. Personally I suspect there's some sort of bias going on! As for me, I'll be honest: I hate doing research for my stories. However, I'm careful to only include information and details that I know are accurate. What this translates into is a general vagueness on points I don't know a great deal about. It's actually not that big a deal because the type of stories I write are extremely character based. The primary 'action' is the emotion and dynamics between the characters. I'm also lucky in that I'm fairly well-read and at least moderately knowledgeable on quite a few topics that the average person (and thus the average character) would encounter on a daily basis anyway. Since I don't rely heavily on outside plot devices that would require extensive knowledge in a specific area, as I said, it's generally less of an issue for me. Nevertheless, I do do research when I have to and I have had to on several occasions before and based on my story outlines will have to again for many more!

I agree; for example I'm the one who just expressed a distaste for vulgar language during sex scenes, but I actually don't find C**K particularly vulgar. Great points one and all, Viv!

Well I've never seen even the most extreme 'homophobe' shriek in fear and literally try to run away or hide.

Ohhhh, if you leave some of your birthday presents out can I play with them while you're not using them? Well, you avoided wishing him Merry Christmas...I suppose for a birthday thread that's pretty intelligent

I've really enjoyed the comments and discussion on this so far! Thanks everyone! I want to respond in more detail to several of you and your different points, but I have to dash in a bit, and I wanted to make a few comments on the most recent two posts. Personally, I think this sums me up extremely well. In fact I can't think of any part that I don't feel is true for me. I don't think this quite describes me though. I mean, I think under the right circumstances I could probably be just as happy with someone, and possibly happier (although I'm pretty happy to begin with ). In fact, finding a suitable boyfriend is on my list of things to do in the nearish future. Mind you, it's below quite a few other things. I think this personally sums me up quite accurately as well. I would never stay in a bad relationship simply because I was afraid of being alone. Being alone holds absolutely no fear for me, and as Kit said, it isn't 'lonely'. Actually, as he also said, I have a very satisfying social life and quite a few friends (and I probably have more sex than most single people ) so being lonely really isn't an issue at all. In fact, my general feeling is usually "I'd like still more time by myself". But yes, I definitely think it'll be lovely to settle down with one person eventually and do the slice of suburbia, happily every after thing (although I think I do still want to do it in the city ). Goodness, this describes a friend of mine perfectly! He's petrified of being alone and simply does not know what to with himself. As a result he's intensely clingly and has a tendency to come on too strong. I can usually handle that, but I worry about him and his lack of independence. A month or so ago I had church with him and another friend (who is his roommate). After church we went our separate ways and I returned to my apartment to get ready for a lunch/afternoon get-together I had planned with someone else. While I was getting ready I received a frantic call from my co-dependent friend. He was very upset because our other friend (his roommate) had plans with his family that afternoon, and he now "didn't know what to do with himself" And he was quite alarmed and distressed. I just can't fathom becoming so flustered simply because you don't have plans one afternoon. Naturally I ended up inviting him to come with me to my lunch thing (it was either that or be on cell phone standby anyway ) But yeah, that's perhaps a bit off-topic. As I said, I want to address all the other points later, but I will generally say that my main purpose in writing the story was to ask the questions, - "Are these two people better off together or alone?" - "Should they break up?" - "Why can't they?" - "Will they stay together forever?" - "Will they ever have a 'happy' relationship in the traditional sense?" - "Do they need one?" - "Are they happy in their own way?" -Kevin

Today is a very special and wonderful day! It's Jamessavik's birthday!!! James, it's been a true delight knowing you and interacting with you over the years! You continually model a positive, responsible behaviour for us all; you care about and look after the new members, especially some of our most vulnerable ones; your sense of humour lightens the boards while your clever insight and honest opinions are a constant source of intellectual debate and thought-provoking reasoning! Indeed, you were one of the main members who first made me feel welcomed around here when I joined! Gay Authors wouldn't be the same without you and I look forward to many more years of friendship with you Have a terrific birthday and a fantastic year! -Kevin

Welcome to the forum, Frost!! Any friend of Tiff's is a friend of ours! It's great to have you, dude! I've been enjoying interacting with you in the various threads Welcome miik! A fellow domaholic huh? COOL!! So what's your favourite Dom story? It's awesome to have you! Welcome you three Let me know if you need anything Kevin

I can kind of identify with his feelings; I like to wear a wide array of different fashions and if I've been wearing one 'too much' for one reason or another I can't stand to wear it when I don't have to. It is nice to wear something your S.O. finds hot on your anniversary though!

Have you considered telling him?

It's actually not that uncommon. It's generally referred to as being 'pee shy' and I've known at least one other person with this condition. Interestingly he was a gay male as well. It's supposedly a variant form of social anxiety.

Yes, I think this definition makes sense, and while it's not exactly how I would phrase it, I think that's pretty much in line with what I've always thought. It's no coincidence, IMO, that some of the biggest homophobes are also some of the biggest closet cases.

Cute indeed

As I said, I didn't mean to question anyone's fear; I was only saying that in general I think people throw the word 'phobia' around a bit more than is called for. You poor thing! I would definitely agree with this assessment. Personally I love glass elevators and elevators with mirrors!

Well done everyone!

LOL, well either way couldn't the one he doesn't pick remain in his life and even the events of the story? Thanks for the vote, Steve. I put it in manually for you Sorry about the brokenness of the poll everyone. ...by the way I did mention that there's really TWO endings to the story and that whichever characters wins the popular vote will determine which ending I use right? :king: (that may or may not be a fib )

Thanks Jess, What about now? I reformatted it a bit...if this doesn't work I probably *can't* fix it In other news, Graeme just released the Anniveraries Anthology

I think it's also useful to distinguish between phobic and merely averse. I suspect many of the things people refer to as 'phobias' - even a few in this thread I'd wager - are really merely thing people prefer to avoid and are uncomfortable with. For example does the 'phobia' really interfere with your daily life? Is it something you truly can't reign in? Is it really unreasonable and illogical? Does it cause you significant distress? Don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing anyone of lying or exaggerating and I'm sure many people in this thread have expressed things they are truly phobic about, but in general I think people tend to throw the word around a bit too lightly. Blah, I'm probably just raining on everyone's neurotic parade so I'll shut up now -Kevin

Awww, wow! Thanks, Tiff! Yours are always anthology stories I look forward to reading as well LOL, well truth be told, the way I view BMAD is practically as one long, self-contained prologue to the main story. BMAD is also a lot more PG than the main story will be. Don't worry though, they'll be alot of time to find out what happens to Mick, Ben, and Aaron. You'll also even Cosmo, Ronnie, Jake, Amanda, Giorgio, and Daisy to a lesser extent. I tend to write character (versus plot) based stories and one of my main objections with BMAD (and the story to come) was to avoid getting mired down with the stories of my secondary characters. For example my first story Indefensible purposely didn't really have a single main character, it had about seven plus many more well-developed secondary characters. That's one of the reasons I love the story so much (and intend to get back to writing it), but it just got a bit overwhelming trying to do them all justice (although again I plan to in the end). Anyway, this is Aaron's story, but I promise you will get a good look in at the others, especially Mick and Ben Thanks CR! That's actually one of the best compliments you could have given me. The 'fun factor' is the primary vehicle in which I want to deliver the story. Are you all able to vote in the poll? I noticed that the numbers still show 11 voters (last poll's numbers), but that no one has voted in the new poll. I'm thinking maybe it won't let you if you've already voted in the original? If so let me know and I *think* I can fix that. -Kevin

Awwww that was such a sweet and touching video (the one with the Lion was cute too )

Interestingly, only yesterday I was reading about parthenophilia, which is of course an ummm 'fondness' for virgins <-- Personally I enjoy heights, and would probably get a kick out of that place! Similarly, I also enjoy confined spaces as long as I don't have reason to believe I can't get out of them if I want to. I don't really have any phobias. I have an aversion to snakes, but I'm not phobic by any means. I have a lesser aversion to spiders, but it's not really bad at all. I can easily ignore them if we're on neutral ground or chase them down and kill them if they come into my territory. LOL, my friends always make me kill the spiders. Anyway, I don't like them, but I'm not really that afraid of them. I have fairly bad eyesight (I should get contacts or glasses but I refuse), so I do get nervous and uncomfortable anytime I have to rely very heavily on my vision. So things like trying to read something from a distance or trying to recognize someone in a crowd make me very uncomfortable and stressed out. But yeah, no real phobias that I can think of. I used to be afraid of railings. Not height or water (which is usually what they guard against) but the actual railing. I'm pretty sure that has to do with my vision too though. In any case I'm mostly over that one now. -Kevin

Well I couldn't let everyone get too complacent in their understanding of the bases. For those not athletically oriented the shortstop stands between second and third base Anyway, unfortunately I haven't even gotten on the field when it comes to the opposite sex. Not only haven't I batted, I'm not even up on deck yet Actually, I do regret this. Not to be vulgar or share TMI, but I'm very much open to the idea of 'experimenting' if the right girl and situation present themselves. In fact, I may even let her get her hands on my pop fly -Kevin