AFriendlyFace

Congrats on your first thread! That seems like a good comparison. Also a great explanation IMO Interestingly enough, this post that Graeme found was the first time I ever created a thread in the Lounge, in fact I think it was the first time I ever posted in the Lounge period, and may also have been the first time I ever created a thread. For the first three months I was here I posted exclusively in the Domaholics forum, and can't remember if I started any threads or not. As Graeme said, the more you're around gay people the better your gaydar works. When I first created that thread I had a small handful gay and lesbian friends and was only out very selectively. Now, I'm completely out where I live, and surrounded by GLBT people. Consequently, I now consider myself to have a very good gaydar. Exactly! Give it some time and give it some work. I can definitely say that what helps the best is actually interacting with other gay people, and practicing. Take care and good luck! -Kevin FYI: if anyone was wondering about the guy in question in my thread, I've come to the conclusion that he probably was gay but a big closet case.

Well said, Tarin! And you're right! You and alot of the others are very nifty LOL, personally, finding a partner that already had kids would be a slight advantage to me. I'm I'd like to raise my own "from scratch", but I'd definitely be excited about having these new kids in my life as well Good post, Viv. Except I was a bit disappointed to be one of the people singled out as having made unfortunate remarks, since I'm very much "on the side" of bisexual people, and was only trying to bring everyone together and make them feel better. Anyway, with regards to the paragraph above I definitely agree. In fact I've always said that logically speaking if you were going to assign "values" to the different sexualities (which I think is a mistake) bisexuality should definitely be the "best", since it is less restrictive and encompasses a greater scoop of human differences. Obviously I don't have a problem with exclusively gay or straight people, but I don't see why anyone would knowingly choose to not be able to see the beauty inherent in both genders, and to then make their decisions based on true compatibility instead of some label. The whole thing with societal pressures is...unfortunate. However, I had already consciously decided to ignore it well before high school. I'll be damned if I let the opinions of society, particularly people I barely know (which is what society is, each of us only has a personal relationship with but a few people comparatively), dictate how I'm going to live my life. I make my own decisions thank you. So anyway, if I were bisexual I certainly wouldn't date girls because it's easier. I certainly wouldn't leave my boyfriend to cave in to the opinion of the faceless masses. I would love, date, and anything else, with whomever my heart and head deemed was the best person. Actually I do that now, but my orientation is setup such that those people are all guys. So if I could choose, yes, I would choose to be gay, because that's who I am and I like it. My second choice would be to be bisexual because I still think that logically speaking that's obviously the best choice (and I would choose it if I didn't already have a personal bias toward being gay). I would take being straight last because I have no bias, personal or logical, toward it. I like straight people, I have no problems with them, but I don't want to be straight thank you. -Kevin

Wow! I'm sorry, CJ And I do agree with you about there being a difference between being out and being stupid lol. Well good for you, Robbie! I've also finally decided what my vote/decision is: Yes - if I thought they were going to come out soon. Or more like Vic said if I thought they were at least willing to test the waters and some day be mostly out. Take care all, -Kevin

Well it seems I'm the only person who voted "No" so far Really I suppose my answer is more of a "rarely" anyway. WAY back in the day in the first 5 or 6 months after I joined I used to frequent the chat room quite regularly, then I didn't go at all for several months, then only sporadically later on when we were having the problems/infrequent use. Anyway, in all honesty it's just not something I personally am particularly interested in right now. That said I do actually favour bringing it back if that would be a feasible, resource effective move. Lots of other people did enjoy it Besides at some point down the road I may use it regularly myself. Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

My thoughts exactly Graeme! Actually I think he even posted his thread prior to the chapter!

Oh my! I'm sorry to hear this! Good luck with everything!

Well they're designed to be about the size and weight of a book, to not require being plugged in (and have a long battery life), and to have a good resolution/contrast that won't be hard on the eye. In fact the article I read went into great detail about how much research they did to create something that would be, for lack of a better phrase, easy on the eyes. Plus, they're always connected to the internet no matter where you are because of some new, magical technology that's an advancement of wi-fi. I think it's either called whisper-net or shadow-net, but I could be wrong and I have no idea how it works, just that it's supposed to work anytime anywhere, and that you're supposed to be able to find, buy, and download a book to it within 1 minute (or maybe it was 5 minutes, can't remember). -Kevin

LOL, he's not going strong; he's going to bed!

Hey Everyone! I was just wondering what you guys thought of Amazon's new book reader, the Kindle? I read an article about them and they sound pretty nifty! (They've also been advertising for them here at GA) Granted, I probably won't be getting one for a good 3 or 4 years even if they are reliable, simply because for whatever reason I'm inherently distrustful and intimidated by new technology (I've only just begun considering getting an IPOD), but I'd love to hear the opinion of those who do keep up with this sort of thing. I really think they could be the future of books. Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

Awww, well if you only spent three hours with her she was probably too busy trying to enjoy the little time she was getting to want to mess it up by complaining about something she couldn't change! (or would that just be my attitude?)

Oh it's nothing as complicated as counting! LOL on the forum page itself with the index of threads you'll see a column entitled "Replies" with the number of replies each thread has (it's in between the thread's name and the person who started it's name), simply click on it and a little pop up box will appear with the info

I respect that...a breakup with one could get messy

I suspect we'd go with something more informal, like "The goat formerly known for leaving 'em hangin'"

Not to be pedantic, but I think he was calling you inbred instead J/K

Now now, If I recall correctly it was "Second-most prolific porter" that you tried to saddle me with.

Well that's nifty, Patrick! I hope it doesn't hurt, and I hope you enjoy it!

Well actually, your blog would be a much better place to vent about it lol

I didn't say that! I said I didn't know whether or not I would date another person in the closet. It probably would depend on the circumstances. Good for you, Ieshwar!! He's lucky to have you! Actually, I think this is exactly what I meant earlier about depending on the circumstances. What I'm saying is that I don't know if I would date another closeted person in my current situation/society/part of life, etc. What I mean is I'm out, it's not a very big deal, most of my friends are out, we can easily go out in public with boyfriends, we have an entire "gay district", etc. so as long as we're not very stupid (going into the wrong part of town and behaving inappropriately) it's unlikely anyone will even make a rude comment. As a result I've grown very accustomed to this luxury and it's a little difficult to, as others have pointed out, "regress" in terms of freedoms and self-assurance. In your society things are obviously much different. I'm very sorry to venture the guess that you've never been able to go out with a group of gay friends and be yourselves. Those freedoms aren't common place As a result if I did live in Mauritius I suspect I never would have come out in the first place, and there wouldn't be very many openly gay people, so of course I would date someone in the closet. Having that special someone with whom I could share that side of myself would be a huge comfort and improvement over not having any other gay people in my life. Things are easier in the U.S. and even easier in the big cities. It's actually very possible to almost completely surround yourself with gay or at least gay friendly life if you want to. I almost feel embarrassed to admit this but nearly my entire social circle consists of GLBT people or straight allies. My only major links to the straight world over the past year and a half or so has been work, and incidental daily life activities (getting groceries, running errands, etc.), and even these could more or less be avoided by taking a job in the gay community itself, and choosing to exclusively live, work, shop, bank, eat, etc. in the gay district. Obviously I'd still run into straight people all the time, but it would be highly unlikely that they would be (openly) homophobic given our location (and considering that they could get themselves into social trouble by doing that). Recently I was having a discussion with a group of friends and one of them jokingly remarked "I don't have a problem with straight people, it just isn't the norm". Anyway, what I'm saying is that it's a completely different atmosphere, and I do feel extremely lucky and blessed to be a part of it Life as a gay person really isn't difficult for me at this phase in my life. I wish it were such for everyone! -Kevin

I very much agree with your hopes regarding true love, Greg. Personally I can't imagine why those things should make a difference either. As for the stereotyping thing, well I started this thread in an attempt to sort of give bisexuality some good press and maybe give people some new things to talk about. I hope that that hasn't instead turned into something negative Aww thanks, Liddy! And I agree, with you, I'm pretty open minded, but actually I consider myself very decisive. Well, I definitely think that this is a very complicated issue. It's a bit easier for this generation, but in the past there was so much societal/familial pressure on gay guys to hide it and just marry and try to fit themselves into cookie cutter straight people that, while I think it's very unfortunate and sad, I can't really condemn them for it. Of course I understand that things are even more difficult in your neck of the woods In any case I applaud heartily for your courage and integrity, Ieshwar! Well said, Jeff! I'm sorry for you plight, Tarin Unfortunately to be honest I didn't hold out much hope that a random sampling of the gay community (even one taken from GA) would be any more accepting of bisexuality. In fact if anything I've been pleasantly surprised. Gee Robbie, tell us what you think Actually though, please do lay off calling members of our community pricks Let's keep this civil. **puts on his rose-coloured glasses** Actually though, I do want to point out that the results of this poll really aren't so bad in terms of acceptance of bisexuality. Currently we have 17 "yeses" and only 6 "no's". That means that nearly 3x as many members of our community wouldn't have a problem dating a bisexual as would. Additionally, those in the minority haven't expressed a dislike or non-acceptance of bisexual people. Most have simply said that they personally wouldn't want to date them. Several have even implied that they would readily befriend them, or even have non-serious flings with them. So I really don't think the prognosis is all that bad, indeed it is more promising in terms of acceptance than I had anticipated. I don't see why we can't respect that some people simply don't want to have a serious relationship with bisexuals. Indeed, while several here have expressed fear or outrage that they won't be able to find a mate because of this type of "biphobia", they should actually be heartened in the knowledge that approximately 3/4ths of the gay population would NOT rule them out. I also assume that an even higher percentage of bisexuals would accept their bisexual peers (and look at the surprisingly high number of individuals in this thread who don't consider themselves straight up gay or straight!). As for straight people...well I would guess that the willingness to date level would be a bit lower, but I'm sure some would be fine with it. So take heart my bisexual/questioning/non-label identifying friends! -Kevin (who considers himself "gay" for the record)

No, No, Vic! It's Joe who makes us do things! I'm completely innocent What vivid imagery! Interesting comments you guys!

Sounds rough, but it also sounds like you're doing much better! I'm proud of you, Demetz! All the best, Kevin

Hey! Who you callin' a queen?! LOL and a porter queen no less! Hmm, someone must have told him I was about to go help a friend move his stuff. I'd hardly call myself a porter though! You hear that, Beasty? We're just going to have to wait a couple more days to give him his title! You do realize this means you'll be stuck hauling all the stuff any time there's a GA get together don't you?

Hi everyone, Well, considering the other two polls it seemed only natural to make this one too. Actually, this one has the most relevance to me personally. My last boyfriend was in the closet and that's the number one reason it didn't work out. The whole thing really confused me. Basically I thought I was being really patient and not pressuring him at all, but apparently the stress, and the dishonesty he felt as a result were too much. I guess the biggest problems were that we couldn't go out in public (at least not in his area) because he was worried people would see, and I couldn't go to his house because his parents didn't know. Actually I know alot of that was my fault... I was kinda reluctant to meet his family and pretend to be a "friend" because I'm just not comfortable lying to people's families about something like that. I guess I would have if we'd kept dating and he'd really wanted me too *shrug* Anyway, as a result I've really been debating whether or not I should just stay away from closeted people altogether (romantically). The main thing was his feelings about it not mine. Apart from the meeting his family thing (which I may have adjusted to), I think I'd have been fine, but I really don't see anything else I could have done to make him feel better about it. I guess it really depends on how you define "closeted", I mean there's quite a few levels. For example I'm out to everyone in the city I live in now, and I'm also out to my mom and a few other good friends from my past, but quite a few old friends and several family members don't know. I don't really see that as a problem, because it has absolutely no effect whatsoever on my day to day life. Anyway obviously I'd be fine dating someone in a similar situation. I guess the determining factor would be whether or not he would be comfortable acting normally in public. Anyway, I really can't make up my mind about this, I keep going back and fourth between all 4 of the options in the poll lol. So I think I'll think about it awhile longer before I decide. What do you guys think about this? -Kevin

That's awesome! I don't think I'm quite that way...in fact actually I'm a bit picky, but I definitely think that when you're in love stuff like gender, race, background, etc. shouldn't matter. Of course I realize that that's just a romantic ideal and difficult to put into practice in everyday life. Exactly! I quite agree here too! Aww I'm sorry Demetz If it's not too intrusive, what about the fact that she is a lesbian (and not also bisexual), doesn't that present a problem? LOL, it's ashame gay guys and lesbians can't date. Some of my best (platonic) relationships have been with lesbians. Good Luck! -Kevin

But Chase isn't shy? Granted the public might not know that, but somehow I doubt he has a shy image. Wow! That's quite a good idea! I mean it seems like it might be likely to me! Hmm, I think perhaps I should re-read the prologue. I'm usually pretty good at remembering details, but I think I've forgotten most of it. Um, what outbreak? Everything okay? Take care all and have a great day! -Kevin