Hey all,
Well unfortunately I can be added to that group who found Christmas something to stress over. There wasn't much to celebrate. My cousins were all down south with their mother and children (my cousins are in their fifties and their children in their twenties and thirties now). That left me alone with Dad. The holiday was quiet. He really wasn't in a celebrating type of mood so I basically hid out in my room. My saving grace for the day so I didn't have a complete melt down was I had stored all the gifts my friends had sent me for Christmas. When I felt at my worst I sat down and began to open them one after the other. I'm happy to know people thought of me, and this was one of those times I was ever so grateful to have something to look forward to.
Luckily I was never one who needed a lot to make me happy. I get huge pick me up when I get a postcard, card, or letter, so seeing what my friends sent me was a bonus. Besides I am a certified Chocoholic and many of them sent me chocolate.
Those simple gifts kept me from focusing on too much on what I am missing. The people who have passed on, the friends I have left behind, my job, and my life in general. The one thing about life you have to be careful of, is getting complacent. I've stopped worrying about me and focused so much on everyone else that for a while my life has become gray. That leaves you feeling drained and wondering if you are worth anything. For me those gifts reminded me of better times, things I need to focus, and reminded me that if I am not happy with how things are it is time to get off my ass and change them.
I can't claim I'm happy. I am not a light switch were I go from one to the other. But for the moment I am no longer apathetic and that is better than I have been.
Hang in there everyone. New year, new chances, and new opportunities. Wishing you all the best as we start over again with a blank page. Leave your indecisions behind you and move on with your life. Things have got to get better.
to those who need them.
Wayne