Mark92

Happy Birthday Rob You haven't been here long, but you have made a huge impression. Have the best day ever my friend.

HappyBirthdaySteve

Chin up buddy, nobody will blame you for having a rant. If it helps then rant, easy as. I can offer you a smile and a hug and say, keep up the good work

I think by Yorkshire standing, 'middling' means in the middle. As in fair is okay. middling is neither good nor bad.

Lets try a bit of Yorkshiire Well! I'll gutta foot t'of our stairs...... An exclaimation of surprise. Neither nowt na summat...... Something and nothing. Nah bloody claithes on........ Usually said to me lol about having no clothes on. Fair t'middlin......I'm feeling fine. Tha' knows.......You know. Eeeee by 'eckers like...... You don't say? Disbelief. Silin' it down...... Raining hard. Yon....... Over there. Ay up...... Hello Afore....Before Wellies....Wellington boots and a slang term for condoms LOL. So, so many more.

It certainly made me giggle Jo LOL, Hope the night is better We all of those days dear lady, Just make up and mend eh? A little like your 'duck and cover'

Hi all Even after all you have said, and the facts about different depressions. You still have to factor in each individual, and how they act or react because of it. As individuals we all have our own issues and nuances to add to the mix, of the text book description. As for myself and my particular depression. I know exactly what the root cause of my depression is. I also know what the problems are and how to deal with them, to a point. The reasons I chose to see a shrink, are to find other methods to push myself out of depression. I have a boyfriend, I am desperate to be with. I have so many new friends from joining here, I want to go visit. That does not mean I'm not still battling everyday to get over my problems and issues. My life at the moment runs on auto pilot, for my chores and being a farmer. My personal life is a constant mess of emotions and issues so deep, I lose focus in how to deal with them. The roots I have already. Everyone here is an individual and it is their individuality that makes 'their' depression theirs. Pigeon-holing people into this depression or that can't be done. This is only my opinion of course. I'm not trying to influence anyone by giving it Hugs all round

Hi everyone Welcome Henry_Henry, Your view on depression is more a personal one, I think. I live in the middle of nowhere, and right now, I am trapped here through fear and issues related to my past. It's not a choice for me. I dont know anyone in this thread who would choose to feel how they feel. Silence, I know very well, I have no neighbours I can see, the nearest is three miles away. So I am well used to silence, and to me it screams loudly. It isnt any sort of therapy to sit and think. As for religion I had one forced on me, not any normal deity either, but one that said I should be punished daily. Five people who's god said I was evil. It was those five people who had the mental disorder if you ask me. I fight against my depression every single day, I push at the boundaries all the time. And I know I can safely say for everyone in this thread, that they fight theirs their own way. This is a place to support each other, listen to each other and care for one another. What we don't do is tell anyone else they are wrong, or selfish. Yes we sometimes give each other a kick up the backside, but in a supportive way. Hugs all round

Daddykins!!! Happy Birthday sweet man.

That was beautiful Cailen Thank you for sharing. I haven't written anything in ages, And that made me smile. Well done

Hey all I caught up on the likes I think Hope everyone is good Hugs everyone

Yettie (Rob) My dear friend, I've told you before, send me a PM or an email saying come and chat and I will. Growing up I was blamed for everything including the weather. And now she is gone, I have so much guilt for everything else, I know how you feel man. Here is a great place to come and rant and rave and kick up merry hell if you want. We all listen and hear. We may not be able to fix anything but we are still here. I ran out of likes again I use them all in here mostly. But you know I think about you. So let me know if you need an ear. And of course fill this thread with as much ranting as you need. Huge hugs to you Rob Hugs all round

Hey guys Thank you Joann we are having fun together, its not always smooth, but show me a relationship that is. Hugs for both of us are always welcomed. Hi Breeze, I fear most things, as big as I am, its the unknown more than anything. Talking is always good. Hello James, I have never felt like that. So I am not going to comment. Just wish you some calm in all that. Things might get better, there is always hope right? And me? Well the shrink came on an informal visit on Sunday. My doctor brought him along. They are good buddies and came to tea. Well I was up at five going through so many of my little rituals, that all stem from nerves. I let Baz and Lukey do the main chores while I concentrated on the house and baking. I've got a lot of weird rituals too that concern more personal things like washing my hair, takes an hour, because of the way I have to do it, like a compulsion. Anyway I had worked myself up into a frazzle for nothing. He was cool, he didn't ask me any questions about my past. He said he could get a good chunk of it from my doc. I made them tea and cake, and he watched me make it, and then I made them dinner too. He kept complimenting me how I do everything on auto. I dont know how I do it, I just do. They looked round the farm, there is no problems there I am an award winning farmer,. Is that bragging? You decide. I have said many times before farmer Mark, is a totally different person to Marky Mark. It was a fun day and I enjoyed it. The afternoon me and Baz brought in the rest of the hay, and the evening was with my baby. I went to bed smiling for once. Hugs all

Suprised you liked the card with my ugly mug on it Love you Unc stay up please

Happy Happy Birthday Conner Have the very Bestest day my friend :hug:

Sorry I haven't been about Unc I'm a bit behind with everything right now. But I am always thinking of you, you know that anyway Hurry back please

Hey all I've been away from here a couple of days, enjoying everything Stuby Busy with animals, inspections, vaccinations and a whole lot of what not. Looking forward to getting into the antho's, I'm halfway through a KC book I bought. And trying to catch up with everyone, when I can I get the shrink nearer the end of the month, it will be okay, or at least that is what I keep telling myself. I hope everyone is doing good?? Poor Unc is having the worst of times with weather and connection. Just want to wish all you beautiful people, the very best there is. Hugs all round

Hi from me and the bf Stuby AKA Agaith It's great here, you will love it

So sorry Lacey sending you a big farmer hug Get well soon please Hugs all round

You cheeky sort I write stories too LOL But thanks for the compliment

Me and my bf are both from UK Stuart Both authors, Welcome btw he's a Stuart too AKA Stuby

I didn't have any good nicknames, apart from old Sam, I was "lanky bugger", or "big lad". Greg my postman started the "wildman" one. And now i'm just Marky to most. Oh Marky Moo from Stuby's mum , and sweetheart from his dad lol.

Hey guys Joann, that was a wonderful thing to do, if everyone was like that, the world would be so much brighter. It's good to see you all keeping your heads up, and living the best you can. For me, my head is at a place where, I've decided to see a shrink again. Hoping on hope that he isn't a total prick the last one was. I have a new doctor, my old one was in his seventies. My new one is female and as Yorkshire as they come. Says what she means and no messing. We do that here, I can talk to her, and have a laugh with her too. It's going to be very informal, she is bringing him on a Sunday, to look round the farm.She has been friends with him for a long long time, so she knows him well. I'm not around as much lately, just because Stuby is at home, and I need to be with him. Stay well and keep happy my friends. Hugs all round

Hey guys Everything you have just said is the truth Rob . I think about what I have. Number one is Stuby, I put him before anything now. The first person I have ever loved and who loves me. I cling to him somes days, and he gives me an internet kiss and a hug and just says, "I'm here baby, I'm always here." And I crawl back up again. I have my farm, my land, my animals. I'm comfortably off. And yet, I still have nightmares, I still dread getting up somedays. I still have dark days, Something reminds me of mum, or a letter about something she did. I even get letters now and then from her cronies, asking me to go back to the flock. No fucking way! And then there are the best times,when I'm laughing so hard with Stuby and his family my tears wet my cheeks. His mum or dad or sister, tell me to call them mum dad and sister. I have a family now. There are times me and Stuby cuddle up together albeit on skype, but we watch programmes and films, play games and play naughty games too. we laugh, cry and love. But not only that. I have here, I'm here everyday. Sometimes I have time to post, sometimes it's a quick catch up. The best thing is I'm learning and growing, I visit the gate every single day now, sometimes it's easy and I can get through it, and be comfortable with it. If I have had a bad night, I get close, but not too close, the fear returns. I back away and go back to the house. My lifeline PC always on, so I can reach out and find someone. This thread is a comfortable cosy, living room, where friends meet and talk. It's a nice place to be. What this cosy room has is empathy. And so much love and kindness. It awesome. Hugs to all

*Sigh* Well I finished it, didn't want too. I think you couldn't have ended it any better. It fits. I agree Scott may not be ideal, but nobody is perfect. Your description of Shelby, I could see her clearly, and Amanda, sheer genius. I'm so sad to see the end of this KC. I can now concentrate on the book I bought, and give you time to write the next awe inspiring tale. Well done KC, huge hugs and bye Gibby