Mark92

I like Qtee for different reasons, I haven't read his stuff yet. I have my reasons, The first reason was a member going on and on about Second Shot, actually put me off. I assumed it was a sporty story and I dont do sport. The second is my list of "things to read" and I'm a slow reader. So I will get to you Qtee He is a man I admire and respect, and have done from joining GA.

Awww my dear Cassie, I wrote in an earlier post about me being in a deep pit with slippery slides. I get almost to the top and slide back down again. So you're not on your own, distraction is the best thing I've found, but it has to be a really involving distraction or it just takes the edge off. Its the time of the year for me to sort out my finances. I hate it I get so stressed out because I dont know maths at all. I put things down and forget where I put them. Currently its Council Tax its got to be sorted. I am missing the most vital letter, just one and my house looks like a tip because I cant find it. I'm cranky and worn out and so glad Stuby is at work and not with me lol. Anyways, hugs are always here for you girl. Try and keep your chin up, and hopefully soon we will have more news about Roan. Hugs all

It's been a bit of a sad time all round of late, with the news of Nathan and all of us hoping on hope for Roan. I dont believe in god, but I care and I feel sorrow for one's passing and the others saddest of stories. I want to say they are both in my thoughts. Now its clear how fragile life is, and we should all be living it to the max. A very sad day indeed. Harcallard I believe age is just a number, I'm 19, but the work and the weather haven't been kind to me. I look a lot older, but have the heart and mind of a 19 year old. So if you dont feel old, dont act it. Be young and stay young. Hugs all

Hey Harcallard, All I can add to that is, you have really lost nothing. A true friend is there through thick and thin, who is more interested in you then themselves. Stay on the up my friend Hugs all

It's good to see everyone offering each other support. I try to talk to everyone if I can, Paperwork is my downfall. I either leave the PC off and get it done, or try to multitask which i'm not very good at. I say I am an ear for everyone. But sometimes I need time to myself. To try and sort my life out instead of being there for everyone else. I hope you do get an email back Harcallard Its hard to chat with PM's so email is the thing or asking them about what messengers they have so its instant. All

Hey lovely peoples I want you all to know, how coming here every day makes me smile. To see everyone supporting each other, caring about each other. It's a good feeling isnt it?? Halcallard So good to here your feeling better Keep it up. And Yettie my neighbourly Yorkshire man, Like me I hope your bad days are fewer and fewer as time passes. I still YO-YO but more up than down. Mickey Mike You are becoming part of the furniture now, its good to have your support and caring nature. And I honestly mean that It's Mine and Stuby's first anniversary today. And we have spent the whole day together. Our gifts to each other had deep meanings for both of us. Slightly marred by the fact it was early to bed for Stuby, as he has his first day of summer work tomorrow. So early to bed and early to rise. He's my reason to be, my life, my soulmate and my every thought. Keep supporting each other and hugs all round

Always liked your poetry Bee. This is one of the best. Good work

Hey Joe good to see you I have crates and crates of hoardings, but its all brand new and boxed. And as soon as Stuby is here, he's threatened to take most of it to charity. We all look forward to seeing you back here. Mikey LOL I wonder what it is you're hoarding? But alls good I hope Harcallard, I agree with everything Comic said. We are always here, if you dont get a reply straight away. It wont be long until one of us drops in to see whats afoot. And Unc Thank you. You have a wonderful knack for picking people up. You just have to learn to do things for you sometimes. Hugs all

Hell Yeah!!! Go Unc

Stuby is, think he just likes the white short covered arses myself. Me? Not a fan

Awww Unc They say life is a bitch, and you get what you get, so make the best of it. Life isnt fair. And we are forever told to be strong. Unc you have talked to me before on cam and on skype. So talk to me again rant, scream, shout,sing Yankee Doodle Dandy if you like. But get it off your chest. There is only one real good thing to say to you and that's Fuck em all!!

Another awesome chapter KC I actually managed to get through till Wednesday without peeking. Phew! I hope now Amanda and Ethan get their come uppance. You can't let them get away with it Something really spooky and eerie and scary for them both. Love the Ghost Whisperer reference I love that and the touching was so similar to Ghost too. Very nicely done. Loving it KC keep it up

I'm feeling a bit better today Tired because I sat up through the night talking to Mrs Fox. She's a good listener, and while she fed her two cubs from the chicken I gave her. She listened to my babbling. No answers, no interference, just let me get it all out. Even the really bad shit, not even Stuby knows. I fell asleep on the ground by her earth. and didn't wake up while 9am. The lads were both there, so all the chores were already done, apart from making the daily bread and getting the food out of the freezer room for dinner. So thats all for now. Apart from saying a huge thank you for all your support. I'm here for you, as you are all hear for me. Marky all round

Happy Birthday W_L from me and Stuby

Thank you so much guys I was given an outlet to talk and didn't take it, simply because I knew I would babble and cry, and it would all come out in one huge rush. With no sense or pattern to it at all. Adulthood was forced on me. I didnt have a childhood, even puberty slipped by me. I felt like a man at twelve. The responsibilities of a farm, animals and a sick mother, who bled like a stuck pig. Not something a twelve year old boy should be dealing with. Her hatred had me believing I was an ugly white slug. And nobody would ever like me. I was allowed through the gate to go to animal sales nothing more. And never alone. I dont know how to deal with this much crap. I think i'm winning and I fail again. Anyways I'm damned if i'm giving into this. I've come to far to go back. So a huge thanks for your support all of you Marky out

Agrees with Renee on the food part, everything gently and slowly the other thing is their toilet. Are they going okay? Kittens still with their mother, are licked on the right area to encourage them to go. Disgusting but mother cat eats it. Therefore if they are not going regular enough this needs to be encouraged with some warm, wet cotton wool stroked over the places. And you definetley not have to eat it LOL. The only other thing is warmth and you say you give them that. Also make sure the eyes and nose are cleaned daily. These places are rife for infection. Take them to the vet if you are worried and when they need their shots. Also look up worming them, kittens are born with fleas and worms often follow. Good luck

No, I didn't know, but on my way now Thank you

Not the happiest of stories but a beautiful ending. So many very gentle hugs. I know you think i'm incredibly big but I can be so gentle.

Thank you everyone I did have a good talk to an old friend of mine, or should I say friend by proxy? He is an old friend of Kates and has known about me for some years. That was part of it, starting from scratch about how things came about. Because he already had some knowledge of me, I didnt have to say much to get him to understand. What he suggested is "baby steps". To stop trying to deal with the whole thing and break it down. I am so good at loving everyone else, its so I dont have to love me. I dont have a mirror in the house. I dont want to look at myself. Until recently I didnt have too. I now have to shave, and I dont mind doing it, but I wont look myself in the eye when I do. I'm there to shave not look at myself. My friend Zac told me, The shock of seeing myself once in a while reinstates my dilike of myself. That if there were mirrors all over, I would see myself more often and get used to it. I dont know if it will work, but I will try it. Prioritising my other problems and issues too. Dont know about that one. Just trying to take it all in and break things into smaller managable pieces. I want to thank you all for being there and offering help. Thank you

That was the first thing I've seen about how things are. I came out to GA. Thank you for sharing

Thanks Mikey So, I'm guessing you have to tell them everything? I mean there's some stuff in my past I've blocked out, and some I don't like repeating even to myself. Just how much do they need to know?

I see nobody has been here for a while, its okay This is me having a blather about my life right now. Not looking for anything but a place to write it. I dont know if my problems are worse or better, I seem to be stuck in an apathy phase. I'm just coming round to the idea of maybe I need other help. Do I go for a shrink or meds? Will I shrink even understand what living like I do means? I'm scared of people I think. How you all live your lives is so different from mine. Could I really cope out there? More questions now than I had in the beginning, is that a move forward or back? My biggest fear is of the unknown. Life as you lot live it. There is a song titled "There are more questions than answers," crap song but its true about how I feel. Meh! enough said Marky out. Hugs all

Another awesome chapter KC The tangled mess of Gibby getting dressed were so real. I love how you did that. And Tanner is so cute, I adore how they play off each other. Me and Stuby do that all the time I actually got quite excited myself when there bodies merged. Very well done And that kiss, what more can I say?. I hope they do find out what happened and not just put it down to a hit and run. Amanda needs pay back. Very well done KC

It's always good to hear the happy times too. Giving a voice to how I feel has helped me so much. Before I came to GA the good times were few and far between, and probably insignificant to those in the rat race they call life. My good times were my animals or old Sam doing something or saying something so rude and crass I would fall about laughing. Now with GA I have people to share with, care with, and love with. I have changed so much it's incredible and quite unbelievable when I think about it. Cherish the good times Yettie no matter how much they will hurt in the future, good memories need to be held close to your heart. You will need them eventually. Stay well my friend Hugs all

Awww Thank you fellow Yorkie. It was fun to write believe it or not. letting things out is helping so much. Thankyou for the ace review