Zombie

what’s that buzzing noise?

rain *got the umbrella * spring or autumn?

Ice hockey ice cream or cream cake?

greedy bear the shiny is the fly’s for the day to compensate for that nasty neighbour chopping up bodies in the attic

this one’s MINE

GREEN!!! Fingers or forks (the last one )

hey I’m innocent! blame the bear, her choice but, yeah, oh yeah baby! *gets on up* …papa’s got a brand new bag

turns on the oven licks lips

Big Bold and Bad! *SNATCH!*

umbrella! (for defence against Pepsi attacks ) fingers or forks?

Apples …for cider! fruit or veg?

dogs that’ll be The Wurzels North or South?

Hi, victim ballet if it’s Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake funk or punk?

not just on that day

I loved that show!

spots stealing opportunity grabs dinner - gobble *burp* snatches shiny

Scare bear’s glare stare

yes yes, we’ve all seen and laughed at these memes But it’s important to remember if you are trapped in your home by something with more legs than it should have (all of them hairy), and probably a big fat body and lots of eyes, then all options are on the table So, do you have a plan? Because there’s no telling where they might be lurking (and there’s always more than just one) or when they might attack There’s probably one watching you now waiting… And they can move Fast Quicker than you can run Because this is the time of year when they get into your home where it’s nice ‘n’ comfy You can’t stop them! no matter what you use as your first line of defence - peppermint spray, citronella, vinegar - they WILL get inside your home So, then it’s down to your second line of defence - killing them Screaming and waving your arms around is pointless. It (or, rather, they) will just watch you And then move in closer… No, what you need is an armoury, and skills to deploy those weapons Which is where video games like KILL IT WITH FIRE! come in, allowing you to practice and hone your skills with flame-throwers and other essential household weapons in the comfort of your own home As ever, I hope you find this non-sensational, fact-based and responsible information resource to be helpful in providing the straightforward facts you need in order to protect you and your loved ones

…or maybe not

no nasty broccoli

Chips proper ones Fish or meat?

landline (don’t like cooked brains ) land or sea?

and SNATCH! *non-violently *

I’m not violent SNATCH!