ashessnow

I hope it doesn't end up on Broadway.

Brick is actually one of my favorites. So, yeah, he's great.

Without A Trace?

You HAVE to look these up. You won't regret it. The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks. Rereading this, and its sequel, The Dark River, right now. Like a modern 1984. With swords. They both are great. House of Leaves and Only Revolutions by Mark Z. Danielewski. House of Leaves is one creepy, scary book. And Only Revolutions is indescribable. Revolutions starts at Nov 22 1863 (the Civil War) and continues for 200 years until Jan 19, 2063 while the two lovers always remain 16. Oh, and you have to turn the book over to read both points of views. And there is history in the margins of what happened that particular day, like on Jan 26, 1998, the first thing in the margin is "Clinton and Monica Lewinsky." Read it! Melusine by Sarah Monette. Melusine is really just the first in the series followed by The Virtu and The Mirador. Great book. Fans of gay fantasy won't be disappointed.

"You have 7 more seconds to decide for your life Before my tongue becomes a blade and your brain gets sliced. I warned you before I'm addicted to war I was praying for Armageddon on the day I was born." School starts in a week. I will be a senior. I feel nothing. Joey came out here from Hawaii to see how I live. I think his first experience was a bit too much for him. Our deal was that I go out to see him in Hawaii for a few weeks and afterward he comes out to L.A. for a while. Once again though, I think my lifestyle was a bit too much. Hawaii was a huge change for me, very laid back and hang out type of thing. Joey and his friends were great and they just had so much fun together. I don't know, it was a different experience than I'm used to. It felt better really. Joey was just overwhelmed I think. So we're dating. Well, not really dating. I mean we got out and have tons of fun, but we're more than just good friends. Well, we should be I mean, hell I've known him longer then I've known my brothers. He was the very first person I had had any type of sexual experience with. He's leaving in two weeks for Hawaii so it's all really futile, but hey, we make each other happy. You really want to know my feelings on this place I live? Go here:

In 5th grade my teacher decided to create a student newspaper. ( I believe it was "The Room 36 News" or something like that.) I had to write an article with a partner about new and upcoming movies that were coming out and rate/review them. I did all of the research myself while my partner sat on her ass and talked to her friends. A few days before it was due I asked her if she was going to do anything and she blatantly told me no. I wrote and typed up the article and handed it in when it was due. While my teacher was reviewing it on the computer, she noticed I had only my name to the article. My point is this: I regret telling the teacher who my partner was and not letting the bitch fail like she should have.

Yeah, I think I got that covered.

Camping? Woods? No, I don't think so. I a big-city kinda guy and bugs are just not my thing. But that is a most interesting idea.

Actually, he proposed a hypothetical. If he found intelligence about al-Qaida leaders hiding out in the mountains of Pakistan, he said he would send in troops whether the Pakistani government liked it or not. He didn't say he was going to invade Pakistan for the hell of it. Try here if you don't believe me.

Well, I know that his brother is gay. It's why he put more "gay content" I guess, into his films.

Alone From childhood's hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring. From the same source I have not taken My sorrow; I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I loved, I loved alone. Then- in my childhood, in the dawn Of a most stormy life- was drawn From every depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still: From the torrent, or the fountain, From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that round me rolled In its autumn tint of gold, From the lightning in the sky As it passed me flying by, From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view. ~Edgar Allan Poe Update later . . .

I just found out that an coworker of mine was confirmed being in Pirates 3 (she was one of the people in the beginning who was hanged) AND that she is on the tv show Jericho (I think just a background person). I guess she finally went to see Pirates, and when she saw herself she freaked. Go Paula!

And I totally started it: Go me!

Flattery will get you everywhere. And you're definitely not bad youself. The thing about my pictures is that they were all taken where we were doing something so you can't really see my face. The only ones where you can are the nude ones, and for some, they might be a bit much.

Ahh, two hot roomates. Two are gay, one is straight and it's always a lot of fun.

I love that song. And what are you talking about, low self-esteem? You have no reason to be. I believe this was at a concert. I'm not really sure though, would you be surprised if there was some heavy drinking going on? Well, I figured the pictures of us naked would be a bit to much for some. And to everyone else, thanks for all the compliments, the attention is wonderful. And I'm the one with green paint all over my chest and Stephan, my roommate/best friend, is next to me with the red mohawk. "Goddess of The Painted"

Let's see . . . I don't know if this will work . . . Oh, and I'm the half naked painted one "Goddess of the Painted"

Happy Birthday!

I love this song! Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry All right! Break me down, you got a lovely face We're going to your place And now you got to freak me out Scream so loud, getting f**kin' laid You want me to stay, but I got to make my way Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on Take it off, the paper is your game You jump in bed with fame Another one night paid in full, uh You're so fine, it won't be a loss Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on Get the video f**K you so good Get the video f**K you so good Crazy bitch Crazy bitch Crazy...bitch Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back, come on Baby girl You want it all To be a star You'll have to go down Take it off No need to talk You're crazy But I like the way you f**K me Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on Hey You're a crazy bitch But you f**K so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on You keep me right on You're crazy But I like the way you f**K me!

Hawaii, a Death and a Wedding. Seriously. Hawaii So I just got back from Hawaii, the best freakin trip I've ever had. It was amazing and beautiful. The parties, surfing and people were so much fun I miss it desperately. Especially compared to the concrete wasteland that is LA. I miss Joey most of all though. Being the oldest friend I know, we got to reminisce about all the trouble we got in together as kids. And 7 years is a long time not to see or really even talk to someone so we had a lot to talk about. An ex-girlfriend (that really threw me) of his really hurt him and for a while he screwed up in school, but now he is doing well and working at a small clothing store. Realized he was bi after meeting a guy where he worked and they went out for a while. Doing well in school and such so to me it sounded like his life was really coming together, which I was happy about. Then I had to tell him about all the stuff about me: thrown out of the house by my parents for partying, living with two good friends, a recording contract and bipolar. But everything was coming together with me too so it was fine. Anyway, we made plans that he would come out to see me in a few weeks so it's all good. Death Stephan's father died. A drunk driver hit him Tuesday morning on the way to work and he died on route to the hospital. It made me think for a while. If my own father died, my life would really not be any different. When I had that thought I wished it was my father. That's sad but honestly though, I have absolutely no relationship with my dad, while Stephan and his dad were incredibly close. I lived with his family after my own kicked me out and they tried to make me feel as welcome as possible in such a crappy situation. To have his father go is just unfair. I'm not used to comforting people. I'm not really good at it. I'm just usually not the one who does it. Usually, Stephan is making me feel better when I'm depressed or whatever; it's him taking care of me. It almost always is. Of the two of us, I'm the one who is screwing up or whatever and he's there to help. And now he needs my help, and I was not quite sure what to do/say. I didn't want to be patronizing or condescending so I just made sure he knew I'm totally there for him when he needs it. That's the kind of thing he'd do for me. If I was depressed and curled up in a ball on my bed, he'd get in bed and just hang out, like read a book or something. Not really say anything, he'd just be near me so I'd know he's there for me and is ready when I am. I figure it's my turn now. Wedding Tina's getting married! Tina is a good friend of mine who I've known for a few years. We worked together in some god forsaken restaurant. Craig, her boyfriend-of-two-years-turned-fianc

So I've been in Hawaii for the past few weeks hanging out with my old friend (Joey) and attempting to surf. Everyone has been laughing at me for the past two weeks in my attempts, but I haven't yet been discouraged. Joey has grown into a very . . . uhh . . . tempting guy with all the surfing; however, with the population of friends I haven't slept with declining I feel it is necessary to keep our friendship to borderline flirting only. And I don't get hungry. Really. I feel hungry like twice a day, usually at about 4 then 10 pm. The problem is that I only feel hungry for, a short time. And if I miss that "window" then I stop feeling hungry. So let's say I'm busy at work or school or something, and I feel hungry but am too busy to do anything about it, then I don't eat. Unfortunately I had to nearly pass-out a few times from not eating for several days before I really thought it was a problem. Stephan and I talked. I mean it was just a matter of time right? He's my best friend/roommate and a drunken tryst shouldn't end our friendship. So the tension between us is mostly gone. Now the tension's more like,"Hey, I know what you look like naked!" so it's all good. And my SAT scores were kickass! I was so surprised! Other then that, nothing else really happening here. But I gave a small performance singing at a bar here and it was a lot of fun! The songs are just flowing out of me now which is a relief cause I've had a tough time writing for a while. Anyway that's it. Later! Go here------> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp7PadUoYwA

Go here----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp7PadUoYwA

Guess you didn't read the post above yours . . .

This is not the "Stages of Coming Out". As someone might have pointed out, it's more popularly known as the Five Stages Of Grief created by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying written in, I believe, 1969. The original Kubler-Ross model was actually based on people receiving terrible news. She went to hospitals and talked with recently diagnosed terminally ill patients and that's how she came up with her model. However, there's no real evidence that people coping with their impending death move through all five stages. Some go through them all, some repeat stages, skip or not go through them at all. AP Psychology baby, yeah!

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