NotNoNever

I've just been checking out Colin's stuff again, and I'm glad to see I've reviewed them all, so I've read them all. I think he's a great writer, except... except there isn't enough of him I've never looked at FSO because I never really saw the point. I think being a gay author just means being gay. The added benefit is that we get a sympathetic hearing / depiction in stories that are not gay centric. And it's good that there is a diversity on GA. Long may it and Colin be part of 'here'. I have to say I'm astonished to hear that a 'senior' mod took that approach. I'm upset to say that I'm not all that surprised though. Sometimes mods just can't be helped What I do find strange is this comment that so many writers are going elsewhere. I've heard this several times recently, but never the who, or much more importantly, the why. Seems to me that is a fundamental to improving the site and sustaining it. Long live the Colinians of this realm!

Well, I don't remember the whole story as it's over a year since I read it, but I do remember that I liked it a lot. We should never say never, but my advice would be to leave LWR alone. You'll gnaw at your own bones and disable yourself. You'll never be satisfied with it because you're dissatisfied now. Sometimes I think that going back to fix something you're not even certain how it's broken is like wading through quicksand: difficult, exhausting, and ultimately you only get back onto firm ground rather than the cloud you want. The other thing is the opportunity cost. Fixing it (or not) means you don't give yourself the chance to start on something new, with the experience you have gained to make it better. You're a good writer. But every good parent comes to realise, in the end, that their babies have to stand ir fall on their own. Far better to let them fail in their own way, than to kill your own babies.

Andre Aggasi would do it for me, or Andy Roddick. Andy Murray ain't good lookin, just awesome. I mean, all that on just two ankle tendons when the rest of us need six just to walk!

...:*'"\ Happy Birthday Dude /"'*:...

Has anybody asked Amazon this question? And do they provide any answers?

Um, one thing you can do on your first trip is to take a good long hard look at your attitude and work out why the hell your existence doesn't matter. OK, I get the life mate thing, but that's different to mattering! You do matter. You matter to all of us. You obviously matter to the people you work with. And there's no reason to think you won't matter to all the new ones either. So, enough already with the don't matter. You do matter. You're one of the feckin highlights of my time on GA, and that's a fact. The thing about 'somebody is twofold: first, they come along at the most surprising times, tbh, and; second, unless you get out and about, they won't be able to find you. So get out there and be unexpected!

So, um, daddy's not going to attend son's life, but somehow seems to expect son to attend daddy's death. Mind you, I suspect I might, if only for the pleasure of pissing on his gravestone, just like his father pissed on him. I honestly, honestly don't get homophobia, xenophobia, genderphobia, or even credophobia. I never met a black person till I was 19 and not once did it ever occur to me to do anything but like him. I think these people must be missing something vital in their heads, I really do.

Sounds to me like you'll never die. They'll just put you in the shop for a revamp every few years. Heck, by 2070 you'll be on your third motor, have a new CPU installed, and have a replacement chassis. But if I was you, it's the fuel line and the tail pipe I'd be worried about!

Just a minute. Ashi, you have to put something else in there, like 'birthday greetings' or something. Otherwise it just looks like you're saying happy deadness. I mean, there's no way he's over the hill, but he's not under the hill either!

☆¸.•*¨*•☆ Happy Birthday☆¸.•*¨*•☆ ☆\_.,•*¨*•~☆~•*¨*•,._/☆

Wicked. Posted it on Facebook. Especially liked the threesomes part. That's a real kick in the chuckies!

Ewch And illegal! However, there's nothing like having a life straight out of a gay storyline!

Not really sure you know how this place works, or you're being mischieviously meretricious. I've not removed you as a friend. Anyway, I couldn't, you were never a friend in the first place. What's more importand is the original post here. Now that was inspiring. Thanks DDK.

Nah, it's just difficult to miss the stuff that puts itself front and centre, and gets in the way of the genuinely inspiring.

OMGoodness, you mean Gods have birthdays? Why did nobody in school tell us about this? Have a great one!

And this from somebody who comes on the internet with statements like 'kinda want to cry', 'Etsy will be my downfall', and 'my tolerance of stupid is non-existent today'. Seems like uploading statements about wanting to cry is a pretty good validation of the seriousness of the internet. Or are you just doing it for the attention, and to see whose heart strings you can pull? Seems rather patronising now. What is it about people having a genuine response to something rather profound, and the silly, juvenile dismissals of it, that so offends people like you, and makes you think you can just denigrate them? Honestly, you seem to take your own shallowness way too seriously. If the internet is not a place for thoughtful, rational discussion where motes of genuinely useful communication can happen, then what exactly is it for? Why exactly do you think DaddyDaveK put this rather touching and inspiring 'tale' on the internet? To add to its vacuity? Somehow I doubt it. The worst thing you can do in this world is dismiss opinion out of hand. Make an argument, fine. That adds something. But standing up, crying 'vacuum', and sitting back down again, only makes the rest of us wonder if it's not just a statement of self. Curiously, my tolerance of flippant, dismissive, juvenile, and denigratory is non-existent today and it kinda makes want to cry. Unfortunately, I don't know which to do, because my role model seems to blow hot and cold on the matter. Helpful, that.

What a trial, and what a bumpy road to it. I feel immense sympathy for you. It's never any consolation, but it seems everybody, including your mom, are in a place now where the road ahead is known. It gives you time to let it all happen gently, so try to make the most of that. At least now you don't have to fight the process, just deal with what's coming as best you can for her (and your gran, for that matter). It's times like this we look around and understand the important things in life. And if you didn't see it, go take a Look at JoAnn's blog. It has a very heartwarming way of dealing with what's coming. It sounds to me like your mom might be in a similar state of preparedness as JoAnn's dad was. The grief is nearly always for those left behind. You can take some little comfort from the fact that your mom is looking for her way on. Try to remember the smiles.

Sharon has set up a homily Marking 2k at the Domily If he'd only come back And give us his crack That would go off simply bombily

Well, fair enough, but again it's a truth which not particularly useful. If the young don't get told by an exasprated body of wisdom, how are they ever going to avoid the pitfalls ... or to put it in your terms - getting hit by said 18 wheeler. Never forget that the middle aged pass on wisdom, and if the young don't get taught, it's the middle aged who suffer when they get old and the mess comes home to roost. On the other hand, you could always give me an earbashing for metaphor abuse!

Hurrumph. It's not 'can they', it's 'wil they'.

I wasn't complaining, just pointing out ... in an ironic manner! And, um, I'm usually criticised FOR commenting, not for keeping shtum!

And just what the hell would one do with everything? Try a food metaphor. Eat enough, and you enjoy the experience, the flavours, and the satisfaction. Eat too much, and you feel bloated, uncomfortable, and can't properly appreciate anything, never mind everything. The point here is that, enough IS everything!

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This is a thoughtful piece, and thanks for it. An author posted a few weeks back that if they didn't start getting feedback, they were going to stop posting. It may have been you, CJ. I can't remember. It's funny, though. People put things up in Sneak Peeks and blow away the commentators when they don't like honest critique. I never leave a story review now because of the quality of others. Publishers have slush piles, and unfortunately we have gush piles. Some reviewers exist in some nirvanic state where everything is faaaabaluss dahling. I have no wish to ass ociate myself with that, or condone it by association. Instead, I put my reviews in my own blog. They're not always fulsome in praise, but some of those authors actually come to me by PM and thank me. One in particular told me of another reviewer from a while ago who he misses because they used to be even more blunt than me, apparently. I must admit to having been quite insulted by that (actually, irony alert might be needed there). I am very interested in the note that comments are waning on this site and others, though. I don't know if it's technically possible, but I'd suggest that an anonymous site survey should be carried out to ask folks why they don't leave reviews so much now. Personally, I have to say that, as a reviewer, and I hope a thoughtful one, I have found the site to be a little anti-commentary of late. There have been several blog posts stating that comments should be done this way that way the other way but not the way they are being done and not the alternative way some people might come up with. I can see the point of that. Site admin says it is trying to protect new writers and not have them being discouraged. Well, why not just tell us all that these writers are fluffy pink kittens in the first flush of motherhood, baking apple pies?! It's almost impossible to argue against that, so those of us who might work to the contrary view are immediately disarmed. We cannot comment, and the site, therefore, gets the sort of reviews one person in particular leaves. I was utterly amazed when I signed up a few months ago to see that reviewer being lauded as one of the top reviewers. That reviewer might as well just ask for a set of rose, sunflower, and fireworks emoticons to be created for them, because that's the sum total of their commentary. I am, however, just unutterably amazed to hear that authors have left because they are not getting feedback. I see the point. But when the feedersback get a kicking from site admin at most every turn, one has to start asking questions. There's a logical inconsistency here, people. It doesn't add up. As to some 'other' reasons for lack of feedback: well, I wonder if there is not just too much stuff out there here. And perhaps there is insufficient quality control (difficult to do, I'll admit). Also, does the e-reader have an effect? Are people reading on the train, and not bothering to log back on to leave the comments? That physical separation might be important. Perhaps there needs to be an ereader download option that requires an upload before another download can be done. (Forced Feedback ) Personally, I'd suggest that there should be another tier of authors. Something like Contributing Authors, who would be expected to produce good quality work in terms of technical ability. That should be a category for all plain (i.e. not Proms or Hosteds) authors to aim to achieve. That way the site would get a better standard of writing. Such authors also would not be allowed to start posting a story until it was complete, to avoid this ridiculous situation of incomplete stuff. Whoever heard of Random House publishing half a book? They would be held to higher standards technically. Their work would only be available to members. Members would only be allowed to read one or two at a time and not start another till they had reviewed. Or perhaps more writers could be made Proms and a new category of member called Reader could be initiated. You'd have to provide at least one useful review per story, or month, or season or whatever, which could be voted by a 'useful' button by the author. That way those interested in quality from a reader and writer perspective would give each other what they needed. These are but suggestions! But one thing's for sure, if writers are leaving due to a lack of feedback, something needs to be done. No writers = no readers = no audience = no advertiser = no revenue = no site. And that would be pointless. Obviously. Or perhaps it's not obvious enough to some people.

Parents seem to be very good at seeing the problems coming, and helping with solutions before they arrive. The last part about dusk and wanting to go to sleep is such a poignant thing, one which I have heard many people say before they go on. I think you both had a very sweet parting, and it's been a privilege to have been allowed a wee peek at it. Thank you. xx