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lomax61

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  1. lomax61
    Not only a lovely story, but well written and with a heart firmly in the right place. Of course, it's also one of those endearing stories where you want to know so much more about what happened before and, especially, where this goes afterwards. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
  2. lomax61
    Thanks everyone (especially Tim) for helping to create this discussion forum. I am happy to hear your opinions, suggestions or anything regarding the plot and characters I've created for this story - no holds barred.
  3. lomax61
    Adding another chapter tomorrow. This us one will change everything. Please be broad-minded! Brian xx (aka lomax61)
  4. lomax61
    You are on the right track for Anton. His confidence has been knocked badly by Christian, and he is being cautious. Not defeatist, but cautious. He is now at a crossroads. That's the key to where he is right now. In the words of the song "should I stay or should I go?"
  5. lomax61
    OMG guys. I am SO honoured by your posts. I wanted to say that you have no idea how much this helps but you've clearly been on this site longer than me so perhaps you do. Please keep in mind that Anton is still recovering and not without past influences on the sidelines. Despite his overbearing (and actually well-meaning) sister, he is still very fragile right now. As I posted too, he is only human so he may/will make some mistakes - but please don't give up on him. I want to also say thanks to all if you superb readers and reviewers who have motivated me to finish this story. Personally, I love the beginning and the ending (you'll have to wait for the end) but have struggled with much of the story in between. It's only 16 chapters so we're halfway there. Please stay with me and I PROMISE not to disappoint. lomax61 - but to all of you just I am Brian
  6. lomax61
    Such a pleasure to read your writing. Michael is turning out to be a true friend and probably much more. I love the way he pre-empts all the things that Kendall is planning on doing - changing coffee shops, gyms, etc. And I can see how it makes Kendall crazy even though it is done with the best intentions. Great little story at the end, too, about how Michael nursed him when he was ill. All building the emotional impact of the story stage by stage. Keep up the great work.
  7. lomax61
    Another good chapter. Michael deciding to fight to keep his best friend is powerful and right. His interaction with Candy was a good way to let the reader see--through his thoughts and feeling--his realisation about the difference between her ten cent version of love and what he feels for Kendall. Good job. You could have used this chapter to show more of the cop coming out in Michael, being more directive with Kendall when he is sitting feeling sorry for himself behind the wheel of his truck. Your call, of course. Then you could have let the emotional part play out back at the apartment. The ending was also a bit abrupt, I thought they would have a much longer conversation about Kendall's admission. Not sure how you're going to take this story but I imagine at some point Michael is going to realise his feelings run deeper for Kendall. Right now, however, it might have been nice to have Michael leaving with the intention of going out to a different bar and getting laid - but then finding he can't, because his mind is still on his friend.
  8. lomax61
    Excellent. Such a brilliant way to start a story, to bring the reader straight into the conflict of emotions between these two well defined characters. This is seriously a darn sight better than any of the published books I have read recently. The only thing I'd suggest, something already mentioned by another reviewer, is breaking the paragraphs down a little (not changing any of the content, which is excellent) just to make this an easier read. Onto chapter two. No pressure, but I hope it's as good....
  9. lomax61
    Hi Robert. I appreciate you've posted quite a few chapters already but it would be wrong not to start from the beginning. A good set-up to the story right from the off, hard-hitting action followed by nice exposition, with plenty of ways you could take this story forward. Having the safety of the boys to consider and not just having the protagonist dealing with this on his own leaves me more invested in the plot. Looking forward to more action and seeing how you weave in the romance angle.
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