Gandalf

Ahh that is why your comments are more consistantly interesting than some of the others.. I have been sober coming up on 19 years. My line is I couldn't afford a boat big enough to carry my booze and me across the pond. What a life I have had both before and after getting sober. Wouldn't have missed any of it and am glad to hear about yours. Pax Steve

It really sucks to have that rejection but is so good that you have your aunt. I worked most of my professional life in so called child welfare and can assure you if you can stay out of the system and with family it is usually the best choice. I raised my neice and nephew(cause their mom died not due to orientation.. i was the queer one). I bet your aunt will do ok. Does she have kids? Do You all have other supports. Hope you can find that cause it helps. Other youth support stuff is usually pretty good.. good luck. Pax Steve

Even though the youngest of the 5 kids I have raised is of your group I hadn't thought of several of these. Thanks for the perspective. My oldest foster son is turning 52 sunday so I have kids who have all different awarenesses. Pax Steve

I too have an infection/fever going on with lots of antibiotics etc which seem to be making me spacey(hence up at 4 am) and NOT working as quickly as I would like. Potty mouth.. just sat for my grandkids ages 5 and 7, they loved it but bet their dad will not be pleased.. The stuff at work sounds f

About 10 years ago i was doing a presentation regarding Safe Place at my School. I asked one of the other participants about his coming out and he said "which day". He felt it was a daily process both for our lives and with our family. He had all our worst fears family story, fundamental religious parents who rejected him and were abusive. Yet he had created his own 'family' and a relatively long term relationship. I admitted I was gay to myself in college and had a relationship for several years. My parents said they accepted it and were supportive but clearly had problems mainly out of fear for what this would do to me(this was in the late 60's about the time of Stonewall). Faggots as we were called then were just beginning to burn bright. I ended that relationship and tried to be straight for the next 18 years or so. I raised several foster children and had a daughter and wife etc. My life was a lie and it became clear it was not ok to continue like that. I came out again. Again my parents were supportive but wished I didn't need to talk about it so much.. I ended up in a long distance relationship with my old partner from college and we are still in it 15 years later. My folks always treated him well and I was always a part of his family. My daughter was fairly fine about it although when I considered working with gltb youth at her High School she was not thrilled. My mom supported the local GLTB youth support group. My dad (and mom too were still concerned for my safety. It wasn't until my parents funerals that I was told by many people how strongly they both advocated for me and other gay causes much more than I was aware. I have a foster grandson in Iraq and worry about him to some extent every waking moment. He does not see that need for concern but it is there in me. I suspect that is what my parents had going on to a lesser extent. Some of us have clear rejection and need to find support within the community and move to create their own family. Others have it easier and can come to some level of acceptance both of and by our birth families. My partner has almost total acceptance by his family. But it is always a process often daily not a kaboom event that somehow is done. Thank god for the internet and the information and support available on it. But no matter what, in our rooms at night, by ourselves, this still is a issue for many of us that peeps into our lives and those of those who love us or are our families. Pax all.. STeve

Rude! you are too kind. Govt. by petition is one of my bete noirs. Rather than elect people who represent our views or working to change them to ones who do we seem to circumventing the whole political process. God knows we would still have segregation and who knows what else if majority ruled in this country. oops better stop am beginning to rant. Glad you caught it and had a good day hope today is good to you. Love your new story by the way. Pax Steve

I saw a production when I was on my boat in Key West. The young man who played the part there was exposed. It is a play well worth seeing if it is playing in any stock theater near you. Of course to see Dan you do have to go to London. Hmm I fly thru london on my way back to the boat.. doubt if my tightening budget could afford a stay in London and tickets though.. Pax Steve

Wow good luck with the asthma/allergy thing hope you get that under control. I really liked your american in paris take off. It was well written and I loved the description of not knowing what you ordered. I did so much of that over the years. Thank god I like most everything. I am finding coming out stories a bit jaded rigtht now but this was short and fun. Pax Steve(aka flattoppp)

I'm with you on this. Occasional short bits of appropriate accent and referrence to it after that to remind us if it is important to the story. For me it isn't an understanding thing so much as an unnecessary distraction. But hey whatever will help you to move beyond stuck will be good. Hope you are doing ok with all that is happening this summer. Pax Steve

Welcome back.. Sure all will resolve with time and that you can keep your pace down while you readjust. I flew back from Spain on the 4th seeing great fireworks while flying over Maine. Am now babysitting one of my grandkids.. that is getting what i asked for.. a dramatic shift from living alone on a boat. but i am ready for this.. i think. Hope your jet lag works thru as always slowing down and meditation usually helps me thru the changes. If I remember to do it.. Pax Steve..

Kool Kitty Vance.. I had been wondering if you were not feeling well as hadn't seen you around the chats or online at all. Wicked Sorry to hear you were sick.. I went back to Sevilla in May with what i think was pneumonia and took some of my boat meds for it and knocked it off. I am like you though quiting salt would be really hard. My partner also has high blood pressure and is on low salt diet. But then we are a bit more of an age to expect that. Good luck hope your health stuff works out. Pax Steve

Hi. I am getting ready to leave Sevilla and return to the states and it is amazing how many HOT guys are showing up around especially as it is very hot so hanging out at the swimming pool is essential. Also how many neat new places to eat I have been introduced to by new friends etc. I am really excited about getting back where I can spend lots of time with my partner and with my other friends and family. Oh and maybe find a job so I have something to do besides be on GA. Not that I dont like it but I think I need a bit of the other reality. Hope your final days in Taiwan work out well for you and your flight and return are Ok. I am off the internet in a few hours and will have no regular hook up till I am home. Pax

I am sorry to hear about your loses. I cared for my dad for his last few months. Changing his diapers and my grandsons one after the other. But good times in a weird way. I probably got closer and found out more about him in some ways then I had before. The day he died I came home and realized that while I had been focusing on my Dad I had not been aware that my dog had been failing and I ended up having to put him asleep the same day. Again condolences and best to you as you go thru these rough times. Life does move on. I joined GA thanks to your stories and have found a wonderful community here during some strange times in my life. Pax Steve

VIV, Happy Un Birthday, Or Happy Belated Birthday. Glad it was ok. I feel like a broken record here at GA cause I like so many of you writers. I am always wondering when is the next SOOTB coming along. And have been enjoying your blogs. Have a great year as a person and a writer. Pax Steve

Yup your are a positive part of my time here thanks to your participation and comments on the board. Pax Steve :2hands:

OOps forgot to put in that part of coming home is cause i am so addicted to all these stories and blogs and shit and want to be back stateside where staying connected and maybe even meeting some of you can happen. I met some people from another one of my interests last Nov. I flew to Chicago to do it. Everyone was even more interesting and caring and intelligent than I was expecting I couldn't believe it. I think we can pick out the wheat from the chaff on line fairly well although I would always expect a few surprizes and be safe in meeting anyone. Pax.. Steve

Gay Marriage has always given me the gut reaction: Been there done that. I had some good years married and a beautiful daughter who has been so supportive of my being whatever I am. However I also have been in a long distance relationship with my partner since 1991. We were also lovers for several years from 1968 to1972(jeesh Allan don't shoot me if i got the dates wrong). I live in Maine and we have a legislature that passes gay rights bills which then get overturned by referendums so who knows what will happen there. He however lives in Vt. so we could have a legal relationship as well as our longstanding one. I am leaning more toward considering that over time just cause it would make a statement to society. When he and I were dancing at my daughter's wedding in MA in May I really wanted to have something more formal. That I have kinda left him for much of the last 2 years while pursueing this silly sailing dream makes some formality a bit more important in my mind on the other hand if our relationship can withstand all it has since we were silly 20 year olds then what could anything else mean. He by the way is a lay minister in small town Vt. and every sermon he delivers has a gay aspect to it. His mother wishes he wouldnt do it everytime but his parishoners seem to love it when he gets to speak. I think he has had a lot to do with showing people that being gay is just being a normal person who happens to love the same sex. I have totally lost my thread. I just now it is about 100 degrees here in Sevilla and since the wedding I really want to put this boat trip on hold and return to my partner and foster kids and neice and nephew i raised and thier children and spend some time being a family gay guy... before I come back for more of this adventure. Pax all. Steve S/V GANDALF :ranger: Sevilla Espagne..

What a hoot you guys are.. Nick great comeback and story. Kevin of course you are spot on as my boat neighbors would say. Ah fantasy and romance... who can ask for more. Pax Steve sv Gandalf still in Sevilla.

I am really sorry about your arm and the hit and run.. I tell everyone that sailing across the ocean was really safe compared to riding my bike around Sevilla where the scooters go every and any direction and on the sidewalks(of course I do too on my bike but I am special lol..). Soundsl like your decision to leave gets reenforced constantly. Pax Steve sv Gandalf still in Sevilla

to digress a bit from Gaydar.. Glooph it is cool to hear your story. I had a roomate by sophomore year college who I was sure was gay even though I wasnt admitting I was. Turns out he wasnt but we are still great friends. His friend and I became close and at one point we were wrestling then became lovers for several years. We were known in the History Dept at school as the Midnight Cowboys. I later decided to not be gay( there is a trick let me say) Raised foster sons, brief marriage and beautiful daughter then got sober came back out and have been back in a long distance relationship with my old college partner since 1991. Gaydar, I was in a meeting here in Sevilla last fall and talking about my life but very gender neautral and copesetic but afterward this guy came over and had picked me out as gay. By what i didnt say. Also he also was married, divorced etc so wasnt distracted by that stuff. I sure dont have much of it though.. Pax, Steve

I actually connected with a therapist who was really fun to have as I was coming out in one of my incarnations. Go with the flow. Give it a chance but trust your instincts. Guy sounds like a bit of a powerhouse but then it might be a fit.. Pax and good luck.. Steve

Good luck on your presentation. I am glad that the landlady thing also worked out. I know stuff usually works out if I keep in the here and now, the day, etc but i forget it almost instantly and then i read about stuff like what you are doing and remember to take a deep breath and allow life to happen.. I have been really uptight tonight about some probably bad financial decisions and also flying back to Spain tomorrow. Reading your post may allow me to get some sleep before i start my 29 hr marathon return to Sevilla. Again good luck and thanks.. also really liked Chap 15. Pax Steve

Hi Dave, Early on I was impressed by how well you understood the effects of abuse on the victim and clearly you continue to hit hard in this area as to several other authors such as Vance. Wow it is so painful to watch someone as emotionally stuck in these spots almost as painful as the physical battering. Living in a foreign country myself I empathise with the stuff you are going thru but also am really pleased to watch all the movement you have in your life; wrapping up the degree, moving on, moving period, and discovering that you are indeed a talented writer. How cool. Pax Steve S/V Gandalf, Sevilla