pvtguy
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Not quite a date & rather a ruckus
pvtguy commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Not quite a date & rather a ruckus
I, too, like the pace of this story. The encounter with Vince certainly shows the upbringing of both Vince and Graham - they were set up to be rivals by their father. I do hope they can work through this obstacle and become true friends and family. -
In fine Clancy-esque (ala the Jack Ryan series), you have pulled the disparate parts together nicely at the end, @empath. And, you've brilliantly created a desire in your readers for more! Now, I do hope we are not disappointed! This was a superb writing of a difficult subject that is as prevalent today as it was in the "1992" you created in this story! As noted above, this story could have taken place just as easily in the present. H!owever, I loved the setting and time period. I do hope to see more of your brilliant talent!
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Raffa is definitely surrounded by lots of love! And that love is extended to Gray as well. Mike has truly had their back, but a lot of explaining is going to have to happen.
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A Weekend: Luxury Hotel
pvtguy commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in A Weekend: Luxury Hotel
This relationship works well for all of them! Best of all, it is based on honesty, trust, and openness. A nice break for all three, yet Toby does make an brief appearance by phone! -
So Mike has reappeared! I'm interested to see how the case proceeds against Animal. Grayson needs to get hold of Raffa's parents and his own. The tension has really built up now!
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Happiness and healing comes in the smallest of seemingly unimportant events like a single blueberry.. Beautiful writing!
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And the tension ramps up! The halcyon days of recent days has come to an abrupt end! Animal's return doesn't instill positive hope - only hope he meets up with some just consequences for his behavior. I'm still wondering where Mike has disappeared to...
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Damien's fears are well-founded: his experience of private (Catholic) school is very accurate! I went from 8 years of public school to 4 years of Catholic High School....and can remember encountering exactly what he describes! Great start to a story!
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A new friend & more brotherly love
pvtguy commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in A new friend & more brotherly love
Breakfasts of banana and jam sandwiches! Brings back memories of my own youth! The relationship between Matt and Gray is slowly building on a mutual respect of the other's interests while maintaining their own disparate interests. Vince is making a strong effort at getting to know his brother and Gray seems to be open to getting to know his brother too. The foundation to the story is being built solidly. -
Now that a level of comfort and confidence has been set with the family, it's time for a challenge. I do hope Raffa is not seriously hurt. And who put up the chain/rope and was it blocking another potential crime scene?
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What a get-away! Russ certainly got his "fill"...This was a much needed break they all needed!
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Wow! So many things were able to be resolved at the same time, but I feel it is only the head of the centipede that has been removed in each area. There are more "legs" to be found and cut off!!. Such a powerful story and superb story telling!
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Chapter 172 Welcome to the Real World
pvtguy commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 172 Welcome to the Real World
Robbie's dose of reality will be a turning point in his maturity, for sure! Sue has really been a great influence on him simply by loving him and not letting him get away with more nonsense than he has. She is more aware than he thought of his actions, but is turning them into growing experiences. His growing relationship with Rory will teach him the true depth of friendship. Daniel let his unease show when he said he had no choice but to go to Don's. I'm not sure what age Canada has about parental visitation, but there are ages in each State in the U.S. that allow a child to decide whether s/he wants to continue regular visitation. Great chapter!- 14 comments
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A wonderful time and warm chapter which finds the relationship growing deeper! Now, hoping to find out what's going on with Mike, et all.
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Skillfully said! I do reluctantly accept some of the slang that has invaded and become a part of the "advancement" of language, but still long for what was considered "proper" English that I was taught many decades ago. I was one of the weird ones who loved to diagram sentences which inevitably leads to making corrections to such phrases as "none of us like to..." instead of "none of us likes to..." (since the subject of the verb is singular (none), not plural (as implied in "us")....
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Freddie is definitely exploring... Another word I've never heard: Scandiwegian! I love it! Another minor correction: “It’s the principal of the thing... a principal is a person, a principle is a value or rule.... This is a common error (along with affect and effect)...sorry, pet peeve of a former language instructor... I truly love the Hugillverse that you have created in your writing.
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The mystery that is Cottontail certainly has the skills to help Jamie with this so-called "reality" show. Still, it does nothing to reveal who Cottontail really is. Is the title of this story a cynical view on all people or just those presented in the story? Do we all present many faces to others, depending on the various situations in which we find ourselves? And are some of those faces a lie? Something to ponder!
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I still feel we are in the calm before a storm! It was great serendipity that Chase happened to show up and then meet Bryan! Dad seems a lot more comfortable with Gray and Raffa. I'm still worried about Mike's situation at the moment.
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Engineer Benson Chapter 13
pvtguy commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in Engineer Benson Chapter 13
@Wayne Gray says, " I try to get inside every character's head..." And that is precisely why your stories are so compelling!- 21 comments
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Engineer Benson Chapter 13
pvtguy commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in Engineer Benson Chapter 13
I am just wondering how much longer they can find supplies. I know they will soon have vegetables from the garden. And so the small community grows again. I am so glad you returned to writing! I hate to see what's going on, but there's little I can do personally to change it other than making my voice known to the elected officials who supposedly are there to defend the Constitution and look out for our welfare. I am very angry that no one seems to be challenging the unelected guy who is dismantling entire governmental departments. Where are the courts and challenges coming from Congress?- 21 comments
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Ah....I see @Summerabbacat beat me to it, but great minds.... Glad to be back with these characters for a while! It's off to a great start. And the title is quite intriguing.
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Hmmm....let me see...a woman with a broom ...cackling... Deidre!
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Things are smoothing out for Grayson and his relationship with Raffa is developing nicely. Uncle Bryan will be a welcome confidant. Now we have to move on to see what happens with Mike, the new position at work, and Dad.
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As the brothers never really had a chance to truly know each other, it seems they are now willing to build a relationship as people and not just from the same parentage. I do hope they start building a more social life and open the house to others! Wouldn't it be a slap in Father's face if events for those served by the centre took place there?!? I am already excited about this story!
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The tension in this chapter is palpable! Things are moving quickly on all fronts. I am hoping Daniel isn't showing signs of Kaposi's Sarcoma. Superb writing once again!
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