pvtguy
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Everything posted by pvtguy
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I, too, am intrigued by Tom's visit to Boston. Perhaps his ex might see that the boys need some serious father time and allow them to move to D. C. It sets up a good confrontation with her family. I like the way you are doing financial education, too. Responsibility and altruistic values combine to provide service to those needing assistance. You're doing a great job. I'm looking forward to many more chapters! Tony
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Good story so far. You have the foundation for a story that I hope avoids the trite plots often found in this genre. You've got good characters, interesting plot points that can provide expansion without falling into the trap of redundant plots. I am looking forward to more chapters.
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Chapter 37 Tossing and Turning
pvtguy commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 37 Tossing and Turning
You certainly do teen angst quite well. I am eager to see him move on, but I really want to see how he opens up to the family and see their reaction. The next chapter won't be published anytime too soon! Thanks for continuing to share your talents with us readers. -
So glad to see the continuation of this wonderful story. The quality of your writing, the interest that it holds and the excitement it offers as we await the coming chapters speak to the talent you share. Thanks...but don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter please! Tony
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Chapter 33 The First Day of Summer
pvtguy commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 33 The First Day of Summer
I especially like the realistic struggle that Robbie experiences as he comes to terms with his identity. He has had to deal with his mother's death, which he may have not yet totally mourned, and wants desperately to feel "normal". You have developed this story very well. I am impressed with the talent, depth, and understanding you continue to show. -
The struggle that Robbie is experiencing has nothing to do with being a slot. Rather, without a role model or someone to fully open up to, he is simply acting out of a need to feel wanted. I really like the process and journey. The story is so well written. I'm looking forward to the next 28 chapters. Keep up the good work, Dodger.
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Having just read Second Shot for the second time and loving every word even more, I, perhaps selfishly, want to see it continue into their old age, one year at a time! You mention a forum where ideas can be bandied about - how do I access it? Is there an email? I am going to read more of your amazing writing. Thanks for sharing your gift. Tony
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Chapter 22 The Guessing Game
pvtguy commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 22 The Guessing Game
Having 36 years as a counselor to adolescents, I find the journey that Robbie is taking to be so realistic, perhaps because it is reality-based. The struggle is very real in light of the time it represents. I really like this story and how it's progressing. -
Will there be a completion to this story? I was saddened when I read of Green's death. I hope he left notes about this story: it is so well written.
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So very well done! You capture the survivor's guilt that cannot be totally assuaged when a suicide occurs. I look forward to your next story.
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I truly hope you return to this story. You have really accurately described anxiety disorder in a way I have not seen before. As one who has worked with individuals in this same type of situation, I marvel at your talent. I do hope you continue the story. If I could assist in proofreading manuscripts, I would be glad to do so. Pvtguy48@gmail.com
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The development of the characters is really well done. Josh and Nathan are like many of the students I have counseled over the years. I am eager to see the resolution as the story progresses.
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Passing out in an alley
pvtguy commented on albertnothlit's story chapter in Passing out in an alley
Very well written. Having worked with teens for many years now, you've captured the angst, mixed feelings, and the feelings that accompany dealing with a death. I await the coming chapters. -
Another great effort. Keep the gift flowing....
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I've just finished reading Second Shot and Second Shot Senior year. What a phenomenal work! I appreciated that you didn't use the trite sex scenes in Second Shot, only getting graphic when the sex was not an expression of love but of control and anger. Your talent needs to continue...I look forward to the development of this story. Thank you for sharing that talent with your readers! I, for one, am most grateful.
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Great chapter. Tony has grown but is still "young" in the relationship department. It will be great to see how they grow together. Keep it coming!
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The quality continues. I am interested to see the unveiling of Marcus...so far he has been absolutely perfect. I want to see the not-so-perfect, but all too human, side. Keep 'em coming Michael!
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Thank goodness there are people like Marcus. They really do exist. Tony is to be commended for his drive and focus. Brian, while wanting more and wanting it NOW, is doing well to keep Tony's priorities at the forefront. Good character development. Compelling story. I am looking forward to the development of this story. Good job, Michael. Keep it coming.
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Accurate description of some small towns (not all though!) and this type of "Christianity". All in all, a great story. Keep them coming!
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Forget the "ever child left behind" act...he was speaking cultural slang, not "white". Having been an educator for many years, I hear the difference daily. Anyhow, the story is great. You've created real characters and are great at showing the desires, emotions, etc. Wally's parents are stereotypical, but they are also real. I am looking forward to the development in this story.
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I love the development of the story. It is so much more real than the quick "electric" and gratuitous sex. The realization of Tony's sexuality and his coming to terms is presented well. I look forward to more chapters.
