pvtguy
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Everything posted by pvtguy
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I can't add any more to the positive statements already posted in terms of substance of the chapter. I would second, however, what @centexhairysub noted: having someone read out loud a passage or a story brings out a dimension that might well be missed in silent reading. Your writing, @Mark Ponyboy Peters, has the ability to place the reader in the scene as both observer and participant.
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Party time at Philpott Towers
pvtguy commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Party time at Philpott Towers
Vince is getting more comfortable being himself! Gray realizes there's a lot more to learn about his brother. The party was a comfortable success. I can only imagine the throws: I doubt they will be put away or replaced as that would require someone to actually take interest in decorating, but the will be just a part of the decor. -
Bunny has a choice to make: fully reveal himself and what his brother is doing, or let Jamie be smeared by LiveFeed.
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I look forward to the discussion after he finishes this part of his presentation. There very well could be a challenge as suggested by @Philippe, which would provide an opportunity to point out differences in mind sets. With the changes in the town since he left, I would imagine that any challenge like that would be quickly attacked by others in the group. Wonderful chapter!
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My College Crush Is Getting Married
pvtguy commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in My College Crush Is Getting Married
Good start! Already planted the seeds of intrigue, mystery, and drama. I'm looking forward to see the development!- 24 comments
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They All Noticed Something Is Different
pvtguy commented on Lee Wilson's story chapter in They All Noticed Something Is Different
Would that everyone could be as open and accepting as Stephen's parents! Yet we are reminded that people still exist that have very limited perspectives (Mel)...- 36 comments
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Things between Aaron and Tony are progressing nicely. That Aaron opened up to Tony about his depression and treatment shows an even greater level of trust. Luke's suggestion that they both see the psychiatrist together is a perfect suggestion. Now on to the next challenge: meeting with Harry.
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A fine cliffie you've provided, @Paladin! I agree with @Summerabbacat - I hope the next chapter is published soon!
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Deirdre’s idiot boyfriend
pvtguy commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Deirdre’s idiot boyfriend
I can understand Jasper's mother's blame game - she doesn't want to blame her sons. However, Jasper could simply have said "NO" to Deidre if her desires for things exceeded his ability to provide - if, in fact, that was a true motivation. I do like the approach Brian is taking in trying to give the benefit of the doubt to Deidre for Toby's sake - he doesn't want to besmirch her character and effect a negative relationship - she can do that all by herself! I don't see how Russ could be linked to the problem simply because he funded the private investigators - especially since they turned over their findings to the police. -
"Liars, Cheaters and Traitors, Oh My!"
pvtguy commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in "Liars, Cheaters and Traitors, Oh My!"
The intrigue is building up quite nicely! Now...what will dessert bring? -
More Pool, A Trip North, and Oops
pvtguy commented on Lee Wilson's story chapter in More Pool, A Trip North, and Oops
I do hope that military school is good for Jeff. He made a wonderful effort with the boys and was very positive about going to the school. Now to see what Stephen's parents make of the "news"...- 40 comments
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IMHO, I do believe Wen is spying on his brother....
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Pool, a Fool, and Home/Away School
pvtguy commented on Lee Wilson's story chapter in Pool, a Fool, and Home/Away School
Why is everyone painting Jeff as totally incorrigible? He's not even completely developed yet! And, in my observation, many people coming out of military schools do learn "discipline" - but they also tend to reinforce the attitudes already displayed in Jeff - homophobia, nationalism, intolerance of viewpoints that do not follow often very conservative positions. This does not apply to all graduates or to all the schools, but, as I said, this is my observation of those I've encountered. It is possible that Jeff may turn out even worse than he is now! I agree with @Ticklishboy30 - other means of challenging him to open his mind are definitely needed. It seems dad only learned of Jeff's past behavior toward his mother. Why didn't she share this information before? -
Tony handled each situation admirably - first with Anne Rummery, a most pleasant exchange, and then at the restaurant with the loud bigot. I felt as though I were present via the man who paid their bill, offering him the support and thanks. I'm eager to see Aaron's reaction to the truck!
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What a hot mess! I want to see where this leads.
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One can sense the change in attitudes in Thomsonville simply as they walked through the cemetery hand in hand to the nods of the other people. Yet, in my mind, there seems to be some challenge ahead - just wondering when the other shoe will fall, so to speak.
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With all the trouble that Tony and the gang had with another Thompson, I would hope he rejects that name also in addition to the reasons set above. Randy Jones, perhaps?
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Well done!!
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As Tony is part-owner, he can simply present it as "for the business"... yet, it will still be a wonderful gift to Aaron! I do see the community growing...
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Steven and Michael are off to a great friendship. The issues raised for the various families and friends will be interesting to see how they are resolved.
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I'll give Deidre the benefit of the doubt for the moment: she may not have known the source for the goods he was delivering (or even the contents) for his brother, but was very happy with lifestyle he was providing. My main concern now is whether of Aries employees may have been in cahoots with Jasper...
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Worries, excitement, creativity...wonderful chapter! Now to see how each of these develop! Another example of excellent writing!
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So glad to see the continuation of this story! I figured when the muse kickstarted the writing, we would once again see the dynamic writing of one Wayne Gray! Hope all is well in your neck of the world! Looking forward to the next chapter!
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"But he is a fag." His dad nearly shouted, "Go to your room." Dad can start with that as he visits Leon in his room. Use this as an educational moment. Dad did have a legitimate question, albeit inappropriate at dinner, which I took as real parental concern that his son did not feel anything was inappropriate in the way that Michael touched him. This an opportunity to turn it into a positive moment!
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I hope dad has a long talk with Leon and helps him to widen his views on homosexuality. But that's what I would try to do... I do like all the characters, however, and look forward to see how the story develops.
