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raven1

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Everything posted by raven1

  1. raven1
    Alex has a lot of guts and great intuition. Ed has problems he is not dealing with and Alex is forcing him to face these problems. The kitten is hard to resist, and Alex seems to know that Ed will not reject it. A pet helps make the loneliness a lot less intense.
  2. raven1
    Alex's reaction to meeting Ed was very unexpected. It make me wonder what has prompted that kind of reaction to Ed surly behavior. What kind of parents would produce a young guy like Alex to try to make a friend of Ed who seems to reject Alex immediately. This plot is both interesting and twisted from the start.
  3. raven1

    Chapter 2- Family

    raven1 commented on Thirdly's story chapter in Chapter 2- Family

    Alex seems to have parent problems. With neither parent developed I would not judge, but his father seems very unsympathetic. Ed's judgement of Alex's description of the apartment building is judgmental and more related to Ed's ego than the truth. Ed's description of an apartment that is Soviet style with things like the elevators that don't consistently work seem to back up Alex's claim to his father. I am looking to see what Alex's background is like.
  4. raven1
    An interesting start with an unusual setting. Implied is that the apartment building is somewhere that was occupied by the Soviet Union. The war that Ed served in is not mentioned, nor is Ed's nationality. Both might be irrelevant, but I am curious. It seems both the older and younger men have troubled lives, and are lonely.
  5. raven1
    What a wonderful Christmas gift for your fans. It is a great beginning to the holiday season that lifts our spirits after a year of bad news. I hope you have the peace and joy of Christmas surrounded by loving friends and family. Great story! Thank you for this beautiful story of hope.
  6. raven1
    Hey Albert! It you and Steve survive the wind storm safely?
  7. raven1
    In my mind God-Emperor of Texas sounded like the God part was at least limited to the people of Texas!
  8. raven1
    Dream on Drewster Cogburnedout!
  9. raven1
    Hi All! Good Morning, Good Evening and Good Afternoon! Does anyone else thing Drew's suggestion for the change in his title sounds more like a power grab? "God and Emperor of the Texas Empire" sounds like he wants to control more than just Texas.
  10. raven1
    I'll wait until Spike comments on this. The Imperial Rubber Stamp doesn't sway Spike's judgement.
  11. raven1
    Hi Page! Thanks for the support! As for the doctor, he's a product of western culture. I'm glad the doctors here are not like that. They actually listen and learn about their patients. Last year I was spared an operation because the doctor spent time talking and listening to me. He then verified I didn't have cancer with some quick and inexpensive tests.
  12. raven1
    I think you should update your cover picture to this. It says so much about you!
  13. raven1
    I am confident that there is no way you're going to let the statistics get lower than they are now. 🤪
  14. raven1
    Good Morning Albert! This place is a Thai style coffee shop! Going to coffee here is a daily occurrence lasting hours.
  15. raven1
    Good Morning Clo!
  16. raven1
    Tyrant!
  17. raven1
    and good evening to you too, Drew! Nope, I saw the post. However, I am doubtful that you would give up your position to anyone real and different body. Of course the kids will lose the election, and you will blame Clo and Spike for their loses.
  18. raven1
    An ex as a houseguest is not a good idea for anyone. It's difficult having friends crash for a night, but long term guests that impose and create chaos are the worst. I do feel sorry for Cat, but she should have set some rules and maximum length of stay from their first day sharing her house. Hope the idiot is gone very soon. Dejected little boy eyes should only work for the young and innocent! I'm glad Cat was pissed off enough to call James on his actions.
  19. raven1
    Still a young man! Happy belated birthday Gary.
  20. raven1
    Want to guess who Yayo is immitating?🤔
  21. raven1
    Drew's definition of give is probably the same as share in Drewth!
  22. raven1
    Me too! I think the guy is one of Drew's Russian friends.
  23. raven1
    Are these some of your split personalities?
  24. raven1
    A word of caution about the house. I suspect the family quarters will be 99.99% of the total area.
  25. raven1

    Cheating (Part One)

    raven1 commented on Comicality's blog entry in Writing World

    I like the way this entry ties in to many of your other writing tips from a slightly different POV. Having read a lot of stories this year, I often ran into some of these sins. One example is the sex as a drama brick. In several stories when I got too many of these, I just stopped reading the bricks, and skipped to the good parts. I also see the emotional leapfrogging as a reason I could not bond with some character(s). When I cannot bond with a character I lose interest and become uninvolved with the story. Thanks for these insights to writing Comicality!
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