IBEX

WOW

Just for the record, there’s NO temperature BELOW absolute zero.. or else it wouldn’t be absolute. But I understood the sentiment.I vividly remember taking two floridian teenagers to see their first snow. It was a hoot. But I had them outfitted for the cold in time. The reverse happened to me when I first traveled to Alaska, expecting some forty below - which incidentally is the same in C and F scales, onl to find out it was warmer there than in the much further southern place where I boarded my plane. Had to take two layers off! I got my forty below experience a bit later on in a windy night in an outhouse in the wilderness....but the northern lights made up for the shrinkage! And yes, fur and feathers work like a charm in the cold! For a blanket I’d recommend rabbit....

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nature+boy+bowie

First, English ist NOT my first language. I've been reading english for fun and relaxation since my school days. In my professional life a lot of literature also is in English. I work with lots of people from different nationalities, English being the common language, be my opposites native speakers or not. In a story cannot discern by dialect where a character is from. Sure there are trigger words that would indicate GB, AUS, US origins, but that's it. That said, I seem to get a different feel from Canadian, AUS-NZ, GB or US stories. At times I want something aussie for example. I wish I could search stories by nationalities of their authors. What I skip are lengthy sex scenes. I have read plenty from smut to high literature, done it all myself, so there is rarely now a description that can hold my interest. In particular NOT with fancy/silly/flowery... words for the involved anatomical parts. Unless specific acrobatics or kink are involved it's the same old anyway. So rather describe specific emotions/feelings involved, that are new and move the character and story along. Just recently I read a spin-off story of a few chapters - and at the end asked myself why? I even got the feel the author himself l did not know where to go with it. A few chapters of repetitive, over descriptive declarations of undying love and an endless over the top loving fuckfest.... skip it. Poor grammar. as others have stated here before, an error riddled story description is a sure harbinger of a poor story. It is so easy to have the mere spelling checked - if the author cannot be bothered to have that done by his software, how much attention then will be awarded to coherence, flow of story, character development and the like? Also, the quite common mistakes of homophones (waste-waist, there-their-they're, its-it's...) are quite annoying. Are you guys dictating without checking? Some overused tropes/plots. The orphan. parents died in car/plane crash. Sudden vast fortune. Teenagers wise beyond years, with the business acumen of Soros/Buffet dimensions, accumulating millions and doing good deeds shaming every charity and NGO before they even reach twenty.... Preaching. I stopped reading the stories of at least one author here, because the constant praise of the superior qualities of the catholic faith in all his stories became to much...(nothing to do with catholicism in particular, but don't get me started on the topic) Detailed body descriptions. I do not care about the character's color of hair or eyes, I don't give a whatever about their size - unless it's some extreme and important for the story. Just mention these facts eventually, if they are important to YOU. But don't expect a reader (even if it's just me here) to fall in love with your hero because he happens to be 5'11" - and not 6'. Inconsistencies in a character or in the storyline. Changing/confusing names of characters In fantasy - stick to commonly "known" and agreed upon features of various creatures. E.g. vampires DO NOT breath fire; werewolves in human form do not howl, nor do they do magic.... If in doubt - ask! There is so much talent here, so many pages of faq, forums, blogs.....get beta readers, if you cannot find an editor. And PLEASE, just read your story/chapter after a good night's sleep - before posting!

Sphincterman, really? LMFAO.....

One gotta support altNPS these days! altnps.org right?

Thanks for the cameo! I so want to ride there now! Of course I had to search for pictures of moss laden trees, forming tunnels of shade....

Oh Wesley, ain't that grand, that you were able to already have a fave character out of the multitude of......two people? ;-p But yes, I concur, an awesome chapter setting now the scene after that ghastly preamble. The room comes live in my imagination. Makes me want to re-decorate here! Merry solstice to all!

Did I laugh when the guys drove home at processional speed! Typical overprotective young parents.... Whatever end Ann will meet, she'll end up as one of those white, shimmering wraiths haunting New England coastal captain's houses....

...and Khan ever the perceptive one!

As befits a story like that, eh?

Hmm, hard to say. Both boys -nikki and chance - do not really behave rational. But heir quick acting without any concept of what‘s going on can possibly attributed to hitherto unknown spirits within. I suddenly you find yourself in another dimension, and Without any experience you understand and accept that fact. You suddenly have a urgent interest in your fathers whereabouts. And make a deal with an unknown spiritual entity.....but chance is the same....so cannot say which is my favourite character yet. Van perhaps? keep writing long chapters in rapid succession and I’ll let you know!😜

So it will be a while until we meet old Nik?

There went sthg wrong with editing in the last few paragraphs: switching from first to second person, even within a single sentence is a bit confusing....keep going!

...and here I was expecting Trevor to be the incarnation of Israfil‘s brother......fair enough! Keep them shadows coming!

"...I blushed like a twelve year old girl." What a fun statement, given the history of the two!

Intersting......but cliffies are BAD!

Voice and speech might be a give away...as are body movement/gait etc. for a trained eye as the Colonel

For a while I thought Nero might be a wyvern.....but those don’t do flams, right? But snakes of any kind do?

So both sides place their assets, clamber for pole position....Theo and Nero - nice names btw - and now Darren (or is Nero again?) Any updates on Gramp’s chest? What happened to the stones...... questions!

(If the guests are standing on the main deck, and have facilities to use one deck uo and one down, that might make it THREE decks they can use, right?) Nice drama free chapter, getting to know crew and ship. Nice vessel she is!

Aw shucks, so sweet!

I think any of my many cousins would be slightly miffed if just went and build a mansion on their property and move n with my brood while they are at university or in a coma. The question of obtaining a building permit is just a side show... other than these quokkaesk inexplicable intricacies, I love the story. I'm always keen about learning WA life and nature. Marsupial sightings being a favorite, of course! Keep up the good work!

What a nice and drama free chapter! Thanks for writing!

So it's cousins, not brothers....