Daisy

I found out randomly the other day that this film is based on an autobiography by one of my extended family. Very weird . And yeah, it's about his relationship with his father - and he writes it after his dad died.

Has anyone seen the british film - "And when did you last see your father". It was released in 2007 and stars Colin Firth. Or read the book? I'll maybe say why this interests me if anybody has. If so, anyone have any reviews?

I hope you are not insinuating you are the wrong one or two . You're brilliant . I was nervous joining here and saying hello too. Maybe not physically sick - but I've had that experience with other things. You've covered one big step then . PTSD - again not something I've researched for a long while. I'm sure it can cover anything - I think it is more about the what the experience does to you, the lasting impact. Anxiety, stress - but brought out in a severe way such as by triggers or nightmares. It might be worth looking into - just for what they sort of ways they've come up with (i'm not talking meds) to combat it, there might be something useful. or not.

I don't think it matters, it just in the modern science of it they want to, as they want to label everything. working out what she 'had' was also working out the best way forward for treating her or making her life worth living. I was angry with them for a long time as they didn't seem to know what they were doing, and I felt were messing up. Then eventually I took a step back from it .

europe is fantastic !

I've hardly ever put photographs on here - I thought I never would even .

My mum has also gone through many different types of counselling sessions. The mainstream one being CBT - though there are loads of different acrymns for different types of problem solving sessions they've tried or suggested. Time - I think that worked the best for me - with the anxiety bit of it anyway. Well, I'm not sure. My mum though, she has a set pattern that she has been going through for years - and she has been working on resolving why she does behave this way, unpicking things and learning like Connor said to have a different response to things. If she hadn't no doubt we would be in an even bigger crisis right now, or maybe more likely she would be dead. (these cycles were getting more extreme - the last explosion being the one I am referring to). Not that she has got it down perfect yet. Her counsellors are helping alot with that. For a while the psychiatrist had my mum down for a type of PTSD - post-traumatic stress disorder. I'm pretty sure she must be a mix of lots of different facets. When I read what bipolar 2 is though, it fits the most for me. But she can't necessarily see that. Which is also typical. That was one of the main problems when she was in the period before she was hospitalised for the 1st time (and others too - she cycles) - she just did not see how things affected others or why say giving away £100,000 in a space of less than a month was worrying behaviour (even if she did know it was a problem as it well, put us beyond bankruptcy - she took out a mortgage). - this would be to people she had often hardly met. Then of course money issues would just make depression far worse. (don't worry it miraculously worked itself all out eventually - and with the help of some amazing people. advocates to help with issues are invaulable for anyone but definitely for people with mental health issues or distress). It's funny - on the hypomania list on wikipedia or Mind it says some parts are simular to ADHD - and for a while after reading up on it I was absolutely convinced she had that (and that I may too) - I'd bought more than several books. One of the more difficult things with dealing with my mum was - and still can be - the lying. She will do what she wants when she wants it. She gets an idea or project into her head and it must be done - and ultra fast and with her methods - and it doesn't matter what you say or the situation. In the hysterical stage she would literally disappear for days. With a dangerous idiot - who I eventually started proceedings of an injunction against. She just can't see the danger or does and does it anyway - and that breakneck speed. Pain - that is another cause for my mum though. She has knackered her body over the decades and that causes her chronic pain now - which triggers depression. Doing things is my mums life - and with pain she is very much limited - etc. Learning to adapt and retire has been really hard for her. (I'm sorry about my rambling posts - I've not written or thought about this for awhile and I don't know where to shape the story. or what point I am trying to say)

I live near Liverpool at the moment - I'm back to living with my mum - I am a gluten for punishment . I went to uni in Durham and then Leeds though, and for a while I grew up in Cumbria - near the border of Yorkshire in a valley by Kirkby Stephen. I've got a job interview next week, fingers crossed it goes well, and I could be off to London. ----- Btw - you are very brave sharing the way you are - exposing yourself to people can be difficult to do. As well as therapeutic . And from what you have written in this thread, what you have gone through is staggering. But far more amazing is how you are dealing with it and the strength you are showing. These things are not trivial - they are hard as fuck to live through and with - you have a great character - and I can already tell that you are going to have a brilliant future ahead.

Yeah we've been through it - and it has been very painful. We've also moved on so much since then . And new issues have developed of course. I've just been reading through some of my blog on here - my my - my thinking writing style is awful . But I did post sometimes while some of this was happening. A lot of what I suffered I made 10x harder for myself - that anxiety - I took on far more worry, stress and responsibility than I needed to. It was then followed by depression the following year - though how people categorise and label these is hard. I was just lost for a while and needing time to bounce back. I remember telling a friend who was going through a rough patch herself - I think it was that people shouldn't compare themselves too much or worry about it. She would only say that what was happening to her or what she felt couldn't compare to what was going on in my life - she shouldn't be feeling sorry for herself etc. Her pain is pain to her - and of a very severe type. It feels severe to her. I don't really know how to phrase that properly. ------ I've been open with people about what's happened to my family on here as well as in RL. But yeah, if anyone has any questions, then they should feel free to ask. Talking about it helped me as much as warning people about these issues (or generally exposing people to the world of mental health - too much stigma is around). (Though a warning: I'm not an expert - and even may get details of things wrong - it's a little while since I did research on things like ECT - or I could have been told wrong things).

Ok, not really sure where to start .... so this may come out a bit random. At the moment the popular theory with my aunts and what not is that my mum has a form of Bi-Polar - so not depression on it's own but part of something else. Bipolar 2 - not Bi-Polar 1 which is the one recognized in popular culture. Read up basics on it here. The old name for the 1 is manic depression - the 2nd type does not include full-blown mania but a diluted version of it. Or other theories, it's a name for a type of genius . Anyway over the last 5 years my mum has taken my family to hell and back or that's what's it's felt like. There is no short story - this has been happening over my mums entire life just not recognised - she has had a mad life - she has this kind of thing for attracting trouble or diving into it without realising. And the consequences ripple out all around her - sorry not a ripple - the last 5 years were like an explosion. Things were building up for a bit - but it culminated in her going into full blown clinical acute depression. I don't know whether it would be classed as being catatonic - but that is what came to mind when I had to describe it. This was at the end of 2007 - and on the 27th December I took her to be an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital. As she went 'voluntarily' she was not officially sectioned under the mental health act - if she had tried to leave she would have been. Instead she went the other way really and became too institutionalised - she had a fear of leaving the place. That period lasted for at least 5 months and since then she has been back for long periods but never as long as that. Throughout (before, during and after) she was suicidal - more so at points and tried several attempts. The only thing that got her to respond was ECT. Medication, counselling - the hospital - none of it was working. None of it could work until she 'woke up'. ECT is the thing that was used in the film - one flew over the cuckoo's nest. I've never watched it and for several years I simply couldn't have done. ECT is electrocution to the brain. They don't know why it works, just that it does - for certain people, more the ones where there is a chemical issue. The NHS ration it because it is expensive. Now my mum was awake but still with all her issues and just as deranged really. We've traveled a long way since that point - but getting my mum there and enduring the year before that really wore me out. I was in my final year of uni, my mum was divorced and I was the eldest daughter. I took that as I should be responsible - and it was compounded because my mum hadn't told many people her issues - as she wouldn't even acknowledge them. Getting to the point of her major depression she had managed to fuck things up financially and all sorts so that was big issue. And my brother was still at home - he was 15 and looking after the flat and dog alone. Because I had to tell the uni some of what was going on I ended up being pressured to go to the uni counsellor - which did help a lot - he wrote once that I had extreme anxiety. I wrote a lot too - like others have said, it helped me a lot . I needed it. The other thing in all this - my mum is/was a doctor - and throughout her life she was self-subscribing . More stuff has happened - but I'm written out now . The path to where things are more manageable I will come back to at some point . But yeah, that is some of what's been my life . Celia ---Edit to add: A quick update for those that have not heard of ECT. I hadn't until my mum was given it - and I was really worried at the time. I'd thought it must be relegated to history or fiction. ECT induces people to have a seizure or fit. They do it in a 'controlled' way, though I have no idea how controlled. They did get some things wrong with my mum, I'm pretty sure. It also has a memory loss side effect. Originally I was told that it was short term memory loss. But there are instances with longer - and I've no idea if my mum suffers from it, but she certainly does have a memory problem now - but that could just as easily be related to her other issues. During and just after the treatment was the worst. She would completely forget things - whole days would be wiped out. There was this instance where she had written down something as a reminder, knowing her memory was bad - and then every morning she would wake up and ring my brother and tell him to do something (this was what she had written down to do) - and he would tell her again that this was the x time she had done this. So yeah, certainly consequences. But still something that I would recommend - at least based on the startling effects it had on my mum originally (but not to be entered into lightly - but then you are in a very stressful situation when this is likely to be proposed).

Hey, a very good topic! Thanks for starting it. I'll chip in about my experiences with depression - and my family history of it. Out now for new year but when I am sober and not hungover I will give it some thought. It's been a Rough ride in my family - lots of different causes - but things are on the up . celia

and if he is this certainly wouldn't make him popular with the community, the 2nd bit anyway. "In an Evening Standard interview he suggested that his impending marriage to Jesme Baird should end any gossip about his private life. However, he refused to deny that he might have had a gay relationship and said "If someone accused me of doing something against the law I might feel bound to answer it. Otherwise I would have no comment to make". Dr Fox voted against proposals to allow gay couples to adopt children and against the equalling of the age of consent. He did not vote on the Civil Partnerships Bill.[2]"

Yeah the rumour does seem to be quite out there - I wondered whether could be one of those 'open secrets' they have around parliament. This seems to suggest that he doesn't have kids - and he married not that many years ago. He's also certainly an odd Tory - came from a council estate. http://www.guardian....ard-bearer-tory

It's been funny watching the weeks news - and thinking how the hell are you still in office. What he has done smacks of corruption - or the very least very very bad judgement. But someone also suggested to me today that this is not all that is going on - and that the media are being cautious of reporting apart from on the side. Liam Fox is gay and having a relationship with Werrity - another reason the guy, his best friend, has accompanied him to all these countries and sat in on these meetings. Not that it matters - the first bit is far more important - why the hell was Werrity in these meetings, coming across as part of the government and I presume selling defense contracts of kinds. http://www.guardian....fence-secretary

How was it everybody?

Have a great time!! I'm working this weekend - the service industry, annoying . But I may get free tickets to Creamfields on sat so looking good anyway. Maybe another time I'll be able to make it/ celes

Don't tell me your friend is the one that has been watched everywhere on youtube? Hope he's ok anyway.

If I am not down on the rota for work, I'll know nearer the time, I'll come . I haven't been to London in far too long. benefits are appalling . They are nowhere near enough to live, especially as a young person who gets less.

I completely missed it. Not even bothered to youtube it . PLenty of jokes on facebook about - who knew Azerbaijan was in europe .

I was going to watch it again this year - maybe comment on here as it went on , but I've now got to work. I'll read people's thoughts in the morning instead . England have Blue as an entry - so actually trying for respectable this year - I wonder if the eastern voting block will be swayed at all - I doubt it . Then we have Xfactors Jedward for Ireland. Lovely. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1386391/Eurovision-2011-Can-pop-pin-ups-Blue-score-victory--beaten-Irish-twins-Jedward.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

To me, I could never imagine being a surrogate and giving up all rights to a child. Or being a surrogate at all. -- I've followed your story a bit on here - Hi By the way, and congrats on the news, but not involving her seems harsh. Planning for anything without her seems harsh. It;s not a normal family and you shouldn't be thinking like that. My opinion anyway. She is the child's mother, contract or not. It seems sad to think in any other way. But parenting seems a difficult path for anyone. Good luck with everything. Try to avoid disputes. It doesn't help the children. I know this from experience of divorce from a kids perspective.

Or there's Busted And McFly.

The duck song is amazing . Glad you like some of the ones I suggested. These are some older boybands - they're not current, but still 2000's. Blue Duncan James is bisexual - so, maybe slight chance there . 5ive - I used to love them . http://http://www.yo...feature=channel I'll try to think of more

I'm the same.

You must know groups like Franz Ferdinand???? Or, for somewhat more crazy Lemon Jelly