Daisy

For me it's always changing. As I go to more places and meet more people .

Oh, I know the feeling. It's destroyed any feeling of wanting to be in academics recently. I'm sure you'll get there.

It's not just schools. My uni did something similar to some people years ago. And businesses are in on the act as well. You are being watched. And it can get you in trouble. that is awful. that shouldn't be allowed!

I'm still enjoying the story .

Maybe . There are loads of open ended possibilities . One possibility is that a theoretical group is like one's I've encountered throughout my life, the idiots stick together in their own group or cling to the popular and bash everyone outside it. Or in gentler forms of the such. I am being hypothetical and crude. (and not behaviour I'd like to repeat anyway). And now I've forgotten what I was saying, damn . .... erm, but yeah, ok I agree with your principle . I do self-regulation in my life , even if stupidly it does take awhile. One of the dangers of the group getting it wrong means that it's more than one against one, even if after awhile others say step in, it can cause discomfort. (and I'm a devils advocate, a behaviour I should probably dumb down some)

I'm probably not jaded enough. Though I have come across enough bad groups and people in real life. However just because others behave like that (whatever social behaviour) doesn't mean that we or I have to. I'd just point out that you're assuming that the 'clique' in that environment isn't the 'flaming asshole' or know what proving you are a decent human being means, rather than the newbies. It's an assumption anyway.

Maybe somebody who has been victimised in chat, or shunted, whatever you want to call it, should come forward and offer their perspective on all this? I know that maybe hard or daunting though. P&C, that list of guidelines doesn't make chat sound like a nice place (or the people in it), but I know that you are dealing with reality. But it still doesn't sound nice. I can't really comment because I'm not there often. Like OldBob said, I like the forum bits and getting a flavour. Entering a room of people I don't know and chatting chitchat isn't my ideal sort of fun in real-life either though. (the time difference does make a difference as well though). The impression I did get when I was in there, was a fair amount of perveing. Some ok, some of it not. Other than that, it was all kind of random and fast paced. Overall, I just think maybe the people at the centre of chat need to have a deep think about how they act with others, and whether they'd like to be treated the same way. I don't think the sort of deep clique is justified. Maybe it's just think more before you type, especially when it's with regards to someone else on the site and their situation.

hey all Just saw this. The FA (football association) in england has a campaign called Kick it out, which is about homophobia. But they've just delayed a video clip for the campaign. But I thought I'd show you it. The article also goes into the whys and nots of homophobia in football. It is pretty extreme here. And there are no out football players apparently apart from one in the 90's called Fashanu who committed suicide. Max Clifford, the media guru, was of course quoted as saying there are at least 2 premiership players who are gay that he'd advised not to come out. http://www.guardian....allers-come-out Do you think the vid would be in some way be successful? Or anything else about what the article said...

Wars, Guns and Votes. Democracy in dangerous places. By Paul Collier. When I can actually be bothered.

I'm a christian . well, sorta. Don't even ask me which 'denomination' I belong to, at the moment none. Read this. http://metroweekly.com/feature/?ak=4765 Geography plays a big thing in this as well. And just chance as to what we encounter. well done for holding your head high .

God I hope you're right; if I can't make money writing I will be on the streets again. I've had fourteen or fifteen jobs since I got out of the army three years ago and it's become painfully clear that I will never be able to hold onto to one. I don't want to anyway. If I can't make a living as a writer I don't want to make a living at all. Fortunately, there are many different kinds of writing, so if I fail at writing novels I can write songs, if I fail at writing songs I can write articles for magazines, if I fail at that I can write advertising copy, etc. Actually I have a folder called "PROJECTS" on my desktop that has folders for every kind of writing you can imagine, and each one is filled with projects underway. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, right? I read that it's best to start a travel blog long before you start traveling. You can talk about your preparations, your plans, etc. That way you build up an "archive" and hopefully a readership even before you take the first step out of your house! Blogs are much easier than websites, though some knowledge in HTML and CSS, and preferably PHP is definitely advisable. I've built a bunch of websites, each one for the purpose of learning the trade and each one got better and better, but then I went and made my first blog and I hardly used any of the things I had learned. If you can keep a profile on myspace or facebook you can run a wordpress blog. The more you know about web design the better your blog will be, though. Affiliate marketing is much harder than PPC advertising. With affiliate marketing your revenue is based on conversions, i.e. people you've refered actually buying something. With PPC, (pay-per-click), advertising, you get paid every time somebody just clicks on the advertisement you have posted on your site or blog. Obviously, affiliate sales generates a higher income per payment, but it's therefore much harder to make the first dollar. Some affiliate programs pay hundreds of dollars just for one sale, but getting even one sale is not easy. If you affiliate with Amazon, like I do, you make a percentage of the sale that you referred. I write reviews on my blog for DVDs and link to Amazon so people can purchase the DVD, and if they do I get a commission. I also have Google ads on the site, so if anyone clicks on the ads I get a small payment. With the PPC revenue, every click is extremely small. It takes a lot of clicks to generate enough revenue for it to be worth the effort. It's all about traffic, and therefore it's all about marketing. Marketing your site and generating traffic is the hardest part of the business, and unfortunately it's where I've fallen short on my sites and blogs. I had some great websites up but after all my hard work of making them I was too lazy to do much marketing and they've all but dissolved. It's hard to find a proper way to make money online, but once you do I'm sure it's worth all the effort! I haven't found my luck in that respect yet, but I've got my fingers crossed. Best of luck to you, too! Maybe we'll bump into each other in Iran next year! It's all about the preparation, right?! You sound like you are working hard. And can't wait for Iran . I'm sure by the sounds of all that you are doing with the writing you'll find something that works for you. Sounds about right with the advertising. The other thing with advertisement is the organisation paying a simple sum to be there for a set amount of time (or I hope, that seems the simplest thing to me - though working out a price plan is taxing). I'm working on, or will be when I get down there soon, keeping the traffic high. I never thought I'd be working in marketing. Bloody family . You need something that people need or will use. Fortunately my sister had a brilliant idea. I've just got to keep it that way. Real world stuff, I can do that . And so far it's been a success without a real effort, so hopefully when I apply myself it will really fly (or at least not sink). (and thank goodness someone else has already designed the thing, well ... )

I was just having a brief look at what options there were . Those are not membership sites as far as I could tell. But they charge for an advertisement. They sound like they did sting you for quite a bit, but you also did well to get the work . I don't think that I can hope to write for money, it's not my talent. I was asking what sort of thing you'd do. You sound like you are going to do well . I'm starting to think I'll start my own blog anyway, for if I ever do travel. Main problem, I'm not internet savy, I have to rely on others. Or maybe it'll get me to learn. From working on my sisters website though, it's harder to get a advertising revenue than you think. At least those where if people buy something through a website, for example, tesco, you get a percentage is not very profitable, at least hasn't been so far. But then I've not put much effort into that yet, I've been concentrating on getting the website itself running and functioning.

is whatever I like.

I'm clueless at sports . I was just parroting what I heard, oops . (and those veins look a bit freaky)

I wasn't sure how you could really make money off blogs. But I've been looking into it, and I'm surprised at how many people are doing it, and how many ad's there are for bloggers. Look at this: http://www.online-writing-jobs.com/ http://jobs.problogger.net/ What sort of online income are you thinking about? Celia --- Damn, as an aside, I really need to get down to my sisters and make sure her website is a success.

hey all I learnt about this watching lazy sunday morning tv, The Big Questions programme . Though watching that programme (note to Mark especially) made me fairly annoyed, it was quite hard for one guy not to punch the guy next to him I think, they certainly were winding each other up . It was full of c of e priests. One of them openly gay though to balance it . Makes progress in this country not look as good as it does when I don't have to hear various arguments. Anyway, here is the article that he's done it by. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1237035/British-Lions-rugby-legend-Gareth-Thomas-Its-ended-marriage-nearly-driven-suicide-Now-time-tell-world-truth--Im-gay.html So, he's the first rugby player to do so. First international rugby player as well. Well known player I'm assured. Celia

Most of my friends don't like the idea . Or, are willing to do it for awhile, only if it's planned out very well. Which just frustrates me. yeah, I learnt that about South Africa. I was in Jo'berg. It was really only till the end of my stay that what people were saying seemed to be real. For the most of the 5 week stay I felt safe and the idea of crime, or whatever, wasn't visible. well, apart from the gun shops . and the headlines. I was very stupid one night though with a friend, we went out drinking and walked home when we probably shouldn't have done, drunk. my mum was in the hospital towards the end, and there was this lady in the bed opposite who had 6 gun wound shots. one of them was in the head. Her car had gotten hijacked in the countryside, but they had a tracker in it. But basically they were shot at and she managed to throw herself and her mother out of the car before it was too late. That shocked me, as much as I'd heard stories of being careful at traffic lights. Other than that it was shocking seeing all the security everywhere, and everything being behind compounds. we stayed with some friends of friends for a bit of it, and they had a fence and various electric laser triggers around the actual house, but it was inside a gated community as well. The guards even had this military looking buggy they went around in. And had these huge scary looking guns at the main gate. My mum went out one night for a cigarette and threw the butt near the fence, stupidly, within minutes there'd been a call to the main bedroom alerting them and someone had appeared with a gun pointing it at my mum. and were ready to shoot if the owner hadn't been very quick acting. It seemed a bit ott to me. Everything was a bit unreal. But I know what you're talking about in terms of individuals. (I was amazed when I found it as well!)

yeah, I bet it would. The girl I met though described basically staying at the house during the day when the homeowners were at work and pretty much disappearing at night. She stayed there for almost 2 months! So not as much interaction with the host, but that seemed to be the way they wanted it. But I'm sure most aren't like that . This is something I found ages ago for when I was considering going to latin america. I was thinking of doing something useful at the same time, so was trying to find something where the accommodation was cheap and they didn't try and charge me for the experience. Never know, you may find it useful. http://www.volunteersouthamerica.net/ I may still start off like that, just need to work on my spanish (I'd love to do this, but it really is a pity I can't speak spanish competently, or hardly at all http://bolivia-online.net/content_en/datenblatt.php?institution=cochabamba/voluntariado/boliviaonline )

Would you couchsurf? http://www.couchsurfing.org/ I hadn't even heard of this until this year and someone I met had done it all over America. She worked illegally in bars to earn bits of money. celia

This is a blog sharing website for travellers http://www.travelblogexchange.com/ Blue Peter was a children's show in the UK after school. It's been running for decades. They are a studio and a garden and do all sorts, including trips and adventures which was what I was most interested in. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Peter I love flying . It's mainly looking down at the ground while I'm up there, or the clouds with the sun shining bright no matter what the weather is looking like something you can walk on. It's a shame you don't like it. I just don't think about the dangerous parts, apart from landing. But there is plenty to do in the UK .

Good luck with all your travelling and preparations . And thanks for the hints. I will start looking into things seriously again . I would definitely keep a blog, even if just for myself. I don't quite see how you make money off it, but I suppose it's the advertising. My problem with writing is I rush, and basically am sloppy , especially when I just want to get things out. Then I notice mistakes forever, but don't rush into correcting them if I'm feeling lazy. Definitely need to improve on that . And I'm certainly not a formal writer. I've seen so many telly programs where I've wished I could have done it because they get to do so many cool things and go amazing places. When I was younger I wanted to be a blue peter presenter. But I suppose that means nothing to an american, or any non-british person.

I've always loved the experience of traveling. I love layovers and enjoy being in an airport for several hours and experiencing what I can in the small taste of the culture that I can get. When other people make airline travel arrangements for me they always do their best to make layovers as short as possible, and I usually end up running from one gate to another without even seeing anything. I always try to explain to them that I don't mind being in the airport for eight hours, I actually WANT that, but they never understand. When I was seven or eight I once traveled with my brother and he freaked out when things didn't go as planned. I was so excited that we'd get to spend some time in the "foreign" airport, (it was just Canada, but to a kid with my imagination it was Never Neverland...), and he got so pissed at me for being so happy and not-worried that he punched me. Ha! I took off running and did my own thing and had some fun exploring while he panicked and had security looking for me. I've never lost that sense of adventure, and I love when things go wrong in the airport! The strangest airport I've been to is Abu Dhabi. Or rather it sticks in my mind anyway. I was travelling alone to Johannesburg at the time. Had about 6 hours there. Didn't like the toilets, that's one thing about travelling to different places that I Don't like. "Putting your life in danger IS real living; everything else is just television." (quote from the movie "The Hunting Party", by a reporter in post-war Bosnia-Herzegovina hunting for a war criminal for "an interview".) When I went to Iraq, people asked me if I was scared. Whether it was just to deal with the fear, or if I really just wasn't scared, I dunno, but I told everyone that I didn't feel in any more danger there than I do in America. We got shot at and had bombs blow up next to our trucks and mortars land near our tents, but even here at home there's always something lurking behind every corner ready to take my life. You may or may not have heard of this shooting at the Las Vegas Federal Courthouse recently. Just weeks ago I quit my job as a security officer at the Las Vegas [Clark] County Courthouse. That dead security officer could very well have been me. Additionally, I live not two blocks from the courthouse where this happened. Or, I could have a heart attack right now. I could step outside to smoke a cigarette, trip on the threshold, crack my head open, and bleed to death. I could have cancer right now and not even know until tomorrow right before I succumb to it and die. There are risks no matter we do, you just have to ask yourself what's worth the risks we take? Personally, despite me mentioning it, I wouldn't let the fact that you're a female stop me. Don't consider that advice, though. But I wouldn't let apparent dangers, even life-threatening ones, stop you from living your dreams. No dream is too small to risk your life for, in my opinion, and no life is worth living if you're not living your dreams. But again, don't jump the next plane to Iran wearing a mini skirt and tube top based on my philosophies. I want to go everywhere. I figured Europe first because it would "break me into" the cultural shock a bit easier, than say...China. On a tight budget, however, I'll have to go wherever is the cheapest. I think this is an interesting way to travel also. Say I'm in Fiji, and I find a special deal on insanely cheap tickets to Ecuador. Ecuador it is! You never know where you'll be next month if you travel this way, and I think that's exciting! Plus, it saves me the trouble of having to choose between all of the countless countries I want to visit. Stupid mistakes are my favorites; they make for the best stories later on! And since it's relevant, I'd like to quote Lord Henry Wotton, my favorite character in one of my favorite books, "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde: "Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes." Oh my god! You are spoiled! I'm so jealous! Someday (hopefully starting within the year) I'll visit all those countries and more. Yeah, the mistakes are what I remember . I suppose I meant more, we hesitated. (or misunderstandings or not looking at the right detail) There were times I should have acted faster and made decisions, and we ended up wasting lots of time, and money. But even then we managed to explore in our ignorance. Things like getting stranded in a tiny village in Slovakia because I hadn't been on the ball (there's so many hesitations+ to that one it's hard to explain) - there was a brothel though, right opposite the bus-stop . We were far more comfortable by the end that with the sleeping on the beach when there was no suitable accommodation available, we did it, then in Slovakia the others were panicking. Following your gut is so much better . The female thing wouldn't stop me, unless I was going to the middle east. It's really more than that, I just want someone to start out with, and someone from my home life to keep a connection there. But you're probably right, I'm going to have to do it alone, or put out a call for less close friends and see if anyone responds. I have travelled alone before though. And the challenge, at least in the past hasn't stopped me, spurred me on more really. When I was 16 I did the sailing on my own, never done it before, and with people who I had never met. First time I'd travelled alone as well. Oh, and I'm scared of the sea . I am afraid of danger though. Well, I say that. I will happily walk right into it, but once there I seem to panic . Got stupidly close to fascist riots while I was in Belgrade over a war criminal. It is about deciding if it's worth the risk. I don't want to be suicidal, or excessively stupid, though, so it was about deciding if people were being paranoid or justifiably worried about something. I like the way about finding transport . Seems to be the best way to me as well . I hate planning in advance. And once you're there what you thought it would be like often it isn't and you have to alter it anyway. You're firing me up to really want to do this again . we chose eastern europe because it was supposedly cheaper than the west. well it definitely was, couldn't have afforded to do the west, but it was still more costly than I'd expected. but there was the food hike at the time. My other ideas at the moment, or at least simmering, are journalism and possibly even documentary making. Not that I've had any training really. But the journalism thing I would really like to make work. my only big downfall is I'm hopeless at languages.

Airports are interesting . No I'm not joking. I'm one of those freakish people who actually likes the travel part. And they usually tell you a lot about a place. Even if it's military, you've still had experiences, one's that I can't replicate and which will undoubtedly have given you a completely different insight. maybe that's why we both like reading . yeah, there is that female thing. And I keep turning it over in my head, should I let other people's conceived idea's about what is appropriate and safe stop me, or is it really unsafe. in the UK at least, from research I've read, women really aren't the victims of violence as much as people worry. But the idea of travelling to places that have different, restrictive, cultural codes for women alone makes me squirm. I don't think I could do it. A friend travelled to Pakistan a few years ago on her own. She's white and born in the UK, but she went there to do medical research. She's still a medical student, probably 22 maybe. On her own, and the taliban were turning up in places she was exploring and where she was advised not to go to. I thought she was mad. For a bit of a holiday afterwards she was hoping to travel in Iran, but her visa wasn't approved in time. She was looking into how to get around the problem of male supervision being required for medical checkups on women and the family's insisting that women pretty much, no literally, never leaving their homes. And therefore a chronic shortage of healthcare visitors as they were more needed than those that work at hospitals, and how even if the family let females train, once they were trained they often prevented them from then working. I can't remember what her conclusions were. But she knew some people over there and visited them a bit. I remember how she told me how the guy had told her not to go into a market and wait in the car instead for him to come back. Then once she'd left his house going there pretty much immediately. And how the men pretty much stripped her with their eyes, and once accidentally having her coverings showing a slit. She was completely unfazed, and I think probably stupid. I'm not sure where I want to go. At least first. South America has suddenly become an interest though. While I was travelling in eastern europe a year ago, there was a girl discussing exactly what you said about picking up friends as you travel or arranging to meet them in other places, and how she was travelling on her own. and of course would never travel with a newbie again . But I can understand that, it did take us a while to get into the swing of travelling and not make stupid mistakes or panic . I slept on a beach in croatia . Though I wouldn't have done that on my own. I'm not going to let it slip me by. I've just realised though that it really is the Only thing I ever have known I've wanted to do and not changed my mind about. It had to be a feature in whatever I did. So maybe in my not doing anything at the moment stage, I should follow up on this I've been to a fair few places now. Some obviously more thoroughly than others. I've been very lucky as my mum's had the travelling bug as well, and intermittently had the money which she didn't bother spending on a mortgage. Morocco, Egypt, Sri Lanka, all explored fairly well. eastern europe flying tour (mainly two or three big cities or towns) Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, Croatia, Serbia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Montenegro, Austria (Vienna). While sailing (so only a little time in port) Stavanger (Norway), Denmark (Aalborg), Belgium (Antwerp), Portugal (La Coruna), Germany (forgotten the name of the port, not touristy at all, Helgaland an island nearby though). I've been to Lake Tahoe and San Francisco briefly. Jamaica, but again I didn't or couldn't explore. Turkey, France of course various parts, Berlin (amazing!), Spain various places - also try Sitges, it seems to be their gay capital (not that my dad realised at the time he booked it ) it's near Barcelona, Ibiza, Lanzarote, probably a few other smaller spanish islands with parents when younger, same with Portugal. Oh, South Africa, though that definitly was not in anyway a pleasure trip, and I didn't get to travel, but it was most definitely a cultural 5 week experience. Gosh, that is embarrassing. I am ridiculously spoilt. But we've also been lucky that we know a fair few friends abroad who've let us stay with them. Oh, Gibraltar.

oh, I've been doing that a lot longer than this storm. Whenever it drizzles in fact . Every winter makes the urges stronger, at least to somehow spend half the year abroad. I don't know how you can cope with Canada.

I already do . But it requires that I be in one place, at least part of the time. And at the moment it's not enough to live on. It's more the travelling I want. I just have to work out how to fund it. If I did it, I would be abandoning the web money, or rather letting my sister do it on her own, and at the moment that would mean the money would dry up as it would fail. and dang, you are using dang a lot .