MikeL

Happy Birthday, Jimbo!

A big-city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Cornwall. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.” The farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in Cornwall. We settle small disagreements with the ‘Three-Kick Rule’.” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The lawyer thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat. The lawyer somehow managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”

I'm not telling. Get a good night's sleep so you can read refreshed.

Sir Reginald's Marvelous Organ

We were having a relatively dignified discussion about a verb, Zombie.

"Snuck" grates on my nerves. That's because it is not correct. I know you find it in some modern dictionaries because it is used by people who slept through English class. Another misused word is "hung" rather than "hanged". It's a bit more challenging because, unlike "snuck", "hung" is not always wrong. Both "hung" and "hanged" are the past tense of "hang". People (murderers, suicides) are hanged; everything else is hung. Examples: The farmer hung the tobacco up to dry. The sheriff hanged the condemned man. The despondent man hanged himself.

I think the British version of English has changed much more since the 17th century than has the North American version. There are a lot of words we use in the US that are more like the earlier British usage than the current British usage. Early Scots/Irish immigrants settled first in Pennsylvania, then migrated south and west. Due to several centuries of American isolation, we missed the linguistic changes in the mother country.

I am not a that, LOL. Everyone repeat after me, "I am not a that".

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I like Drew's math funnies...at least the few I understand.

The 4th of July in the USA is all about Fireworks and hot dogs.

Etowah, Tennessee

Oak Ridge, TN The Secret City

A little harmless amusement: Click here. Move your cursor across the screen that appears.

My response to your previous blog entry, which only you and I saw, wasn't intended to trample you. Hopefully, it showed that I am neither faint-hearted nor vindictive. As for the US trailing behind other countries in advancing certain social changes, it's not reasonable for us to always be the leader. We will eventually get there. You are forgiven.

People whose feelings are easily hurt should never discuss politics. In the Soapbox, too many people were discussing their feelings rather than politics.

To our Canadian friends... A Mari usque ad Mare, eh?

Rainbow sheep?

Apparently no one proofread these headlines: Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Gay marriages have begun in Nashville. Quote Story: http://www.tennessean.com/story/news/2015/06/26/supreme-court-gay-marriage/29263767/

Apparently no one proofread these headlines: Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Sorry, folks, but I'm having a great day! If I where having a bad day, and being American, I would have to whine rather than whinge. Whine is part of the continuum, complain/whine/bitch. It's interesting to note that, in that order, they are increasingly more significant and decreasingly effective.

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper...it's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.