MikeL

Why it's important to put spaces in the right places between words…

Great news, Bob! Always expect the best. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFPnwpkGioc&feature=player_detailpage

NO Speak English A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs. Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts. On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... (Please scroll down.) What were you thinking? Her husband speaks English.

1960s?

No matter what your job, you can always try and make it interesting ....

I have corrected the sentence. Wouldn't want to offend a fetus.

Congrats, Sly! That was fast; I didn't think the picture looked like him. It is Elton John, born Reginald Kenneth Dwight, picture taken in Hamburg, March 1972 during a concert at the Musikhalle (now the Laeiszhalle). He was only 25 at the time of the picture. If he was like me, he didn't need glasses that early.

Who is this dude?

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

chthonophagia (eating dirt)

Hans Wilhelm Langsdorff, Captain of the Admiral Graf Spee...fought one battle, scuttled his ship, committed suicide?

Georg von Trapp? Actually Austrian and I don't remember him losing a ship (or submarine). World War I? Seriously, the uniform looks like a police officer in some US city.

We really could use a clue. Nationality would help...maybe. German?

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

Bob, I'm sorry to hear our old friend is making another unwelcome visit. PCa is like that. It is either cured very early or it hangs on for years. It just won't stay away in many cases. Please know that I am praying for you and your wife and expect many more years of friendship.

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. 'I'm 90 years old,' he says. '90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?' 'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'

Happy Birthday, JoAnn!

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service . Can you help us?' 'I can!' 'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.'

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

Laurel and Hardy?

Happy Birthday!

This is David Hilder. He is one Brit who is not an animal lover. See: Daily News article U.K. cat DNA database helps convict murderer

It is Albert I King of the Belgians. He is the only monarch I know of who actively led his nation's troops in war in the 20th century. Albert I (1875-1934) was King of the Belgians throughout the war, organizing resistance to German occupation of much of Belgium. He came to the throne in 1909, succeeding his uncle, Leopold II. Belgium occupied the only open tract of land between France and Germany, thus its stance as a neutral power was key to the balance of power in pre-war Europe. Belgium's neutrality not withstanding, Germany issued an ultimatum on August 2, 1914, demanding that Belgium allow German forces access to its territory so that Germany could gain ready access to French borders. Albert I resisted the demand and took personal charge of his forces. Germany therefore invaded Belgium on August 4, 1914, quickly overrunning the country's small army (consisting of 43,000 men in 1914, with 115,000 reserve troops) and forcing Albert I to move the Belgian government to Le Havre from where he continued to govern his nation (although he himself continued to live in Belgium, first in De Panne and then in Kasteel De Moeren). On November 22, 1918, Albert I triumphantly re-entered Brussels having successfully commanded the Belgian army in the autumn 1918 Courtrai offensive. Albert I was killed in a climbing accident in 1934, and was succeeded by his son, Leopold III.