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JeffreyL
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Chapter 44 A Time of Rebirth
JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 44 A Time of Rebirth
Wow, Gary! What a great chapter! Loved the talk with Delia and healing Arthur. I especially liked the line about Kellar being a good pillow. As they were talking about networking and the hunters' names, I thought maybe they should do a genealogy search on the hunters. Thanks for more good story. Delia is right. These guys are amazing! And so is your story! -
You succeded! It was both good and hot! Thanks. Jeff
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And the plot thickens! More good stuff! Thanks. Jeff
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Is this another step toward something more positive for the boys? I'm not certain what each boy wants. I understand anger due to frustration, but I don't understand the need to be mean or controlling. And there seems to be some from both, especially Hrishi. I am still intrigued to see where you take this relationship. Radical topic shift: In a comment from the last chapter you said there are thirteen chapters in this story. Do you write the entire story and then edit and release a chapter at a time? Or do you write, edit, and release chapter by chapter?
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This story just gets more interesting with every chapter. Thanks.
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A tender (and sexy) time for the boys. I think Tyler is going to be good for Ryder. I can't wait to hear what Mom has to say. Good chapter!
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I felt my heart swell, too, as the story ended. This story was wonderful. You have a gift for writing. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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Oh Sasha! This was an amazing chapter! Everything seemed perfect. Your writing never fails to move me. Looks like I somehow missed this chapter because I see the last chapter posted today. I think I'll indulge myself and go co a twofer. Thanks.
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557 - Portal Stones Don't Just 'Go Missing'
JeffreyL commented on Sasha Distan's story chapter in 557 - Portal Stones Don't Just 'Go Missing'
This was more like a tease. I hope you're writing part 2. Guess I'll need to go back and reread your demon stories. It's been too long. The demons always cracked me up! Thanks. -
Oh no fair! I love this story and these characters! I guess I will just pout until the next chapter posts and resolves this crisis.
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First, thank you Natasha for the explanation you gave me in my last review. I was pleased to find I was picking up on clues better than I thought. What you wrote was very much what I was thinking. You just worded it way better than I did.
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I want to know what set Coach off. Or is this typical and we have just not seen this before? I am glad Ryder is not keeping things bottled up. He will need to apologize for yelling, but in my opinion he does not need to apologize for what he said. It's been a long time coming. And it was good to learn more about Tyler. Thanks for more good story.
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A sad chapter. Not so much because of Lourdes' and Rich's deaths, but because of the effect on their family, especially Richie. You were understated in your writing about the death and funeral, and to me, it was just right. Good conversation between Carlos and CJ about being ready to support his brother. It always amuses me when CJ's maturity slips. Also nice reunion between CJ and Owen. And you always add little touches, like buying Richie's suit, that add so much to the story and make your characters So real. Another fine job, Carlos. Thanks. Jeff
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Wow Natasha, you do a great job writing sexual flirting! Seth is really falling hard and fast. I went back to re-read chapter one because I thought he was gay. You hinted, but didn't come right out and say it. Hmmm. So I was feeling like this gay guy was falling for a woman who is really a guy. Now I'm not so sure. I guess I'll just keep enjoying this story and see what happens. Thanks for more great writing!
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A most satisfying chapter. And Marty is smart to tell Liam there is no timeline he has to follow. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a best friend like Marty. I'm not even going to weigh in on Alek vs Nathan. Time will tell. Thanks for more good reading.
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Chapter 11 Final Chapter- Anchored
JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 11 Final Chapter- Anchored
Great story! Beautiful ending! I didn't miss the hint for the possibility of more chapters. How about a five years later epilogue? The story doesn't need it. You wrapped things up nicely. But everyone who fell in love with Craig and Jared would love it. Thanks for this wonderful story! I' just a little sad it's over. -
Chapter 10 Floating Toward Shore
JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 10 Floating Toward Shore
I couldn't wait until tomorrow. One more chapter before bed. And a great chapter it was! I loved all the house talk, and the way Craig helped so much with the job interview. It's nice to see Carly turning over a new leaf. I do agree with Craig: we'll see. Thanks for another good chapter with these great guys! -
Chapter 9 Surfing the Waves
JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 9 Surfing the Waves
It's good to see Jared and Craig putting their lives back together and moving forward as a couple. Gotta love these guys, and that means the guy that created them is doing a fine job! Thanks. Jeff -
OK, so after a two day semi-binge I'm caught up. I didn't necessarily figure out what was going to happen, but I did catch the hint about David playing weddings and other gigs. Looks like there's hope for reconciliation between brothers. And Joseph has/can put aside his fears and move forward with Kelly. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks. Jeff
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Kelly's break up with Del was sad. He is such a sweet guy, and Del was beyond a jerk. But Joseph really got pounded. Wife and brother... No wonder he's been going it alone. I like Kelly's idea of going it alone together. What a great chapter! Thanks. Jeff
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This story is so much fun! You're really captured the film noir feeling. And Seth and Dorothy are terrific characters. I think I might know Dorothy's secret, but mum's de woid for now. Thanks. Jeff
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Chapter 7 River of Dreams
JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 7 River of Dreams
I think their joy with each other is contagious. Another sweet interlude between the guys, with a thunderstorm brewing at the end. -
Just finished chapters two and three, and I am enjoying getting to know Joe and Kelly. And I am jealous of Joe's apartment. Maybe I could hire Kelly to give my home a once over. I also really liked Joe's parents. Now you need to spill about the ex and the brother. I'm trying to read slow and make it last, but it is so good. Thanks. Jeff
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Your characters are realistic and well rounded. Your dialogue is also realistic. You can write a description that puts the reader in the scene. And your romance and sex descriptions ain't too shabby either. Oh, and have I mentioned how much I love these guys and their story? Thanks Gary.
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Chapter 5 Touching Bottom
JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 5 Touching Bottom
What a nice romantic interlude while they reconnect! And I loved the refurbishing ideas. I could see this house, and I love it! Are you a decorator now or in a previous life? I also remember that table, or one like it from our kitchen when I was a kid. This was great, but it seems too smooth. There must be some conflict about to read its ugly head before the HEA.
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