Well, I've talked about my first kiss a few times before. The boy whom I shared it with was a classmate of mine in the 7th Grade. We kissed and held hands a few times during school (in private corners of the building), but he never offered to invite me to his house, and if I asked him over to mine, he'd give some pathetic excuse about why he couldn't. I realized, after a few weeks of running around in circles, that he wasn't willing to publicly come out to his family or friends, hence the need to insulate his time with me from the rest of his life. We drifted apart and stopped speaking outside of Science class, and I never had any more classes with him after that. Bottom line is: If you love someone, or you think you love someone, but they're reluctant to let you be a part of their life, they might not want the same things that you do. You might as well whack your head on a rock. If I could go back, I'd ask him about how "serious" we were, or what he wanted to get out of our relationship. That's why I believe it's important to communicate your intentions clearly.