I can do nothing but sympathize with Alek...I am a lot like Alek, just never have been with someone that gave me an ultimatum, so I can't tell you what I would have done if placed in a similar situation. In October/November 1995, I told my parents I was gay. The response was "No, you're not." Huge fight, my mom calling their preacher saying, 'Jay thinks he might be gay,' being told by that preacher 'if you don't change your evil ways and stop choosing to be gay, you'll go to hell,' deep depression, and a bout of anorexia later and I was asked not to return to the University I was attending. Moved back home from living away in the dorms for a year, and am asked, 'Do you still think you're gay?' When I say yes repeat from above without the University part. Two years later, 'You still going through your gay phase?' I explain it's not a phase, i'm positive i was gay. My parents tell me 'We don't want to know that. If you choose this lifestyle, we don't want to see it or hear about it. Never bring one of them over here for any reason. If you choose this lifestyle, you are welcome here for holidays, but if you're dating someone or something, they cannot come.' Guess where we are today. They don't ask, I don't force the issue. It's a stalemate. Why rock the boat? Everyone involved is happy.
Every once in while my mom seems like she might be coming around. About 3 years ago, the Southern Baptist Association officially changed their stance on homosexuality. Preachers whose churches are member of the SBA can no longer preach that homosexuality is wrong. Homosexuals are now allowed to be church members, the official stance of the association is 'hate the sin, not the sinner.' There was an article in the Dallas Morning News about this decision, which was made at the SBA National Conference by a vote of 80% for to 20% against. She made sure that I read that article. Nothing else was said about it. Then about a year later, she showed me another article in the Dallas Morning News about a Baptist Church near downtown. First Baptist Church Dallas (a member of the SBA) preacher's took an official stance speaking out against the decision in a press release. (they are still a member b/c he has not done any sermon specifically about homosexuality being wrong). This other Baptist Church that was about 2 miles away had actually taken a bigger step in the right direction. In church-wide vote of its official members, 95% for to 5% against, homosexuals could now become Deacons at that church. Another vote of the same %, the church would perform and bless same-sex marriages. Again, my mother showed me the article, nothing more was said after I read it. I don't know what I would do if I started dating someone and they made me choose between them and telling my family. I would hope that they would listen to my thinking. It's not something I'm able to do immediately. My parents are both almost 70 years old. That means that for the past almost 50-55 years, they have lived with this fundamental belief of what they were taught-homosexuality is a choice and it's a sin. I don't expect them to change a fundamental core belief suddenly overnight. That's impossible. Those beliefs have to be changed slowly and gently handled. For years, I would try to force the issue on them. Result, we fought physically, spiritually, and emotionally. When I had the epiphany that I was only 30 years old and I was refusing to change my views on this subject but they were in their 50's and 60's, if I wasn't willing to change immediately, why should I expect them to? Sorry, i didn't mean to write a novel here, but now y'all know what I meant when I said y'all are the only family I have that accepts that I'm gay. There's a lot more to the story (my bitch sister-in-law that won't allow me to see my nieces and nephew because she doesn't know that I don't have HIV or Hep-C).
I know where Alek is coming from. He has no bigger support for Team Alek than me.
