jkwsquirrel

"I like Billy, but he's an asshole." Yep, you've pretty much hit the nail on the head right there! Behind Billy's front of bluster and rage is a very scared little boy who is afraid that his whole world will collapse if people find out about his deep dark secret. Some of that fear is justified, but a lot of it is in his head. It'll be fun to watch him face his fears and grow.

Thanks! I know that for some readers I give too much away beforehand, but I figure it's better than having something come out of nowhere. I'm glad you are enjoying the background stuff. Sometimes it goes somewhere, and sometimes it's just there to be funny. I really appreciate your kind comments!

Glad you are digging it. Thanks!

Well, I could tell you all about how Billy's a prude and afraid to admit he's gay even to himself and how that becomes a big plot point and kind of the theme of the next two books and how it'll just be so great to watch Billy lose his inhibitions until he finally gives himself fully to Brett, or maybe I'm just lazy and a bad storyteller. You decide.

It's a process, Spikey, but by the end all three of the boys will have matured beyond their petty teenage snottiness into some fine young men. But if it were all hugs and sunshine it would be pretty boring. But there will be hugs and sunshine in this book! Rehabilitation is a much more optimistic book than Broken Boy, with a more introspective Billy.

So, just 10 days until WAR returns with Part 4 - Rehabilitation. Are you excited? I am! How excited? Excited enough to give you a very tiny sneak preview: "You told Brett’s mom I want to kill myself?” “Hey, I just told the truth. You said it, not me!” Dustin protested. “Why did you tell her that? I don’t want to kill myself! Thanks, Dustin! Now she probably thinks I’m crazy!” I groaned. “She’s not the only one,” Dustin said quietly. “What? You think I’m crazy?” I asked. “Well… you did punch a mirror. And when you saw all that blood everywhere you just laughed about it. It was really scary. I think you lost your mind for a while.” Not enough? Need some more? Well...... Okay! Just a little snippet from chapter 5: “Go on! Hit me you piece of shit! You know you want to! But you can’t do it, because deep down inside you know I’m right! Your parents are assholes and asshole parents make shit babies. You’re a pathetic piece of shit and your family doesn’t give a shit about you except to smack you around!” “Stop ripping on my family, Reilly!” Dustin warned. “Make me.” Brett smirked. The WAR has just begun! Ten days away!

We're just experiencing the warning shots of the Brett vs. Dustin war. It was quietly bubbling under the surface, but it's about to explode, and poor Billy's caught in the crossfire. I think I broke Billy pretty severely in this part. Now we get the glue and put him back together. I think perhaps the best prescription for Billy's brokenness is a healthy dose of vitamin Brett! As always, Lisa, I'm so appreciative of your thoughts! You really make this experience enjoyable!

Billy excels at blaming himself for things that aren't his fault. Brett could tell Billy the exact same things as Billy's parents and he would think his parents were morons and Brett was saying the most genius thing ever. Besides that though, Brett really is the right boyfriend for Billy. Billy would run roughshod over Dustin and Dustin would just quietly submit in fear of Billy's aggressive side. Brett doesn't put up with Billy's shit. Well, he does to a point, but he doesn't let Billy wallow in misery or take advantage of him. Billy needs someone strong to be his partner, and Brett is becoming that partner.

Thanks Lisa! I always look forward to your thoughts! Billy certainly inherited the Roberts temper. He's a wonderful mix of his parents. He looks like his mom's side and acts like his dad's side. It was inevitable that Dustin would go looking for love outside of his family. He was desperate for somebody to show him the slightest bit of affection. But for a kid in his situation to admit he's gay? Not going to happen. Yeah, Amanda is more complex than she first appeared. A bitch? Definitely. Evil? Not so much. WAR is more than just a story of a couple of boys in love. It's a story about parents and their kids, and how those relationships affect their lives. Billy is extremely loved by his parents, but he just doesn't see it because he's rebelling against everything they stand for. Waaaay back in the second chapter of part one George was wondering what happened to his little blond-headed tyke. He knew his little boy was breaking away from him. The very next night the Black Eye Incident happened. I think you've struck on something fascinating. By inheriting his father's temper Billy has really inherited his grandfather's temper, a temper which led George to run away and not look back. Billy is certainly dangerous when he's angry.

You have no idea how bad I can be. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Erm... I mean, thanks!

We're going to explore the relationship, or lack thereof, between Brett and his mom a little more deeply in Part 4. Brett's mom is more like a roommate than a parent. That'll be tested in the coming chapters. As for Brett's singing ability, he has many hidden talents. In fact, Billy is in for a surprise when he discovers some of his boyfriend's musical talents.

I'm glad you're excited about the story. It won't be that long of a wait!

Well, at least this is rock bottom for Billy. No where to go but up from here! At least for a while. We'll sort it all out. Unfortunately, this is only the beginning of Brett vs. Dustin. We've had a few shots across the bow but it'll be all out war soon, with poor Billy caught in the crossfire of course. (Come on, it can't all be healing and maturing.) Anyway, I appreciate your kindness, Rob. There is a bigger picture I'm trying to create. I put Billy through the ringer in this part, and so far he has reacted very poorly to all that has happened to him, because he didn't know how to handle it. He's a very different kid from the one who kept his grandma company, and he'll be a very different kid from the one who punched a mirror by the end of part four. It's a journey. I'm glad you're on board with me.

This response made my day, Okie! I'm so glad that you are enjoying what we're doing here. It's a lot of fun for me too. And yes, we'll have a much more mature Billy by the end of Rehabilitation than we had at the beginning of Broken Boy. Thanks for your wonderful responses to the story! I've really appreciated them!

Thanks for these important resources DQ. No one should have to feel alone. There's six billion of us. Someone out there will listen to you, has been through what you've been through, and will understand.

Yeah, the ol' cliffhanger ending. This is the only book that doesn't "end." Part of the reason I write in parts is so that I can conclude things neatly so that each part is its own story. Except for this one. Ha ha ha! Thank you Jay! I've enjoyed your perspective on things.

Thanks Wesley! Forgiveness will be a big theme of Part Four. Some forgiveness will go well, and some won't. Such is life. That said, the war between Brett and Dustin has just begun!

Thank you for reading, Stephen! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

The ride to the hospital took an eternity. Everything seemed to be going so slowly. The road stretched on and on forever. I was in shock. I knew I was in shock but I couldn’t snap myself out of it. My mind kept coming back to the same horrible question: How had I allowed this to happen again? The burden was too much for me to bear. In the back seat, my two best friends in the world sat bickering with each other. My dad could be dying or dead already, and they were acting like two-y

I sent this as a reply to an email and thought it might offer some insight into Dustin's story. Enjoy! Certainly Dustin’s biggest problems stem from his upbringing. You place Dustin in another family and he probably thrives. Instead, he’s withering. His parents stamp out every potential for good in his life. He doesn’t know what a man is supposed to be, because his biggest example is a broken man with serious mental problems. His mother dominates him and his sister follows her example. When I think of Frank, I think of some guy who in eighth grade saw a penis in the locker room and kinda liked it, and so he’s spent the rest of his life since then trying to prove he’s a real man who hates any sign of male weakness. He married Carol, a woman far smarter than he is but with serious self-esteem issues, probably thinking he could control her. Dustin never had a real chance. From the beginning, Frank didn’t do much to engage him, never changed a diaper, never held him, never ever told Dustin he loved him. If Dustin was crying it was, “Carol can you shut that stupid brat up?” If Dustin fell and scraped his knee it was, “Get up! You’re fine! Quit yer cryin’!” If Dustin got a C it was, “Boy you really are stupid.” If he got an A it was, “Those teachers must be making things too easy if you could manage an A.” So Dustin figured out how to make straight B’s. Frank never told his son he was good enough, never gave him a compliment. He pushed Dustin down a flight of stairs and broke his arm, busted the lock on his room, stole his privacy. He’s insanely jealous of Dustin. He never allowed Dustin to show any weakness, not because he wanted Dustin to be strong, but because Dustin being weak would reflect poorly on himself. And yet, for all of that, he is the epitome of a weak man. He relies on alcohol to drown his own weakness. “Tough guys drink booze.” He can’t let anyone help him or his family because that would show weakness. He’s controlled by what other people think of him. He doesn’t want his son to love him or respect him, but to fear him. Oh, and he thinks George Roberts is a wimp for allowing his wife to get him to stop drinking and settling him down. George used to be cool, but he let a woman control his life. Carol has major self-esteem issues. She could do so much better than Frank, but she doesn’t believe she could. That wasn’t something Frank instilled in her, but something that he took advantage of and made worse. Her kids have similar issues, exacerbated by living with an asshole for a father. She truly does love her kids, and wants what’s best for them. Unfortunately what’s best for them is to get out of their parents’ house as quickly as possible. She can be mama bear when you mess with her kids. She knows that Amanda is slipping away and that Dustin is sinking further and further into depression, but she doesn’t know how to help them. She can’t seek help from outside, as Frank wouldn’t allow it. Her husband controls her with insults and fear, even though she could easily kick his ass. She is very defensive. She looks formidable from the outside. She’s large, loud, and seemingly angry. But behind the front is a woman who thinks she’s never going to be good enough. Amanda… somewhere along the way she, like Dustin, sought out the love she wasn’t getting at home. Like her mother, she has major self-esteem issues, so she’s turned to sex very early in life (and soon her little brother has done the same). Like her father she has tremendous pride in her family. Showing any kind of weakness is a threat to the family. She loves her brother. She always calls him “my brother” to outsiders. That’s about as affectionate as she gets. She is very protective of Dustin, but she shows it in the worst ways. She doesn’t think of herself as tormenting Dustin, but toughening him up. Being smart and sensitive is going to get his ass kicked, and that’d reflect poorly on the family. Plus, it’s just fun to pick on one’s little brother! In a normal family, she’d be tough but harmless. But her family isn’t normal and what she does to Dustin is severely injuring him. And all of that is what has made Dustin into who he is. He wanted so desperately for Billy to be his hero. But Billy was never going to be able to live up to Dustin’s hopes, even without Brett showing up. Having lost all hope, suddenly a new opportunity arises in an older guy showing up at just the right time. Unfortunately, Mike just makes things worse. Suddenly Dustin is thrust into a relationship where he has all the power, and he uses it to get what he wants from Mike. For Dustin, sex is power, and he knows how to use it.

Well, we'll sort everything out concerning George soon enough. Let's talk about Brett! Brett is one of my favorite characters to write. I love the little scamp. He's very different from the serious and sarcastic Billy. Brett just wants to have fun. He is very forgiving. He has to be to be with Billy. Life is a game to him. Billy does not think Brett is stupid or "retarded." Billy knows Brett is smarter in areas that Billy is not. He's people smart. Billy is just careless with his words, and Brett has called him on it. Brett's not as concerned about being lawfully good as Billy. Right and wrong are more flexible for Brett. Brett can be vicious when he doesn't respect someone or finds them to be phony. But here's the thing I love most about Brett. Remember what George said about love back in chapter 6? "A lot of what love is all about is learning all the bad things about the other person and loving them in spite of it all.” That's Brett. He knows Billy's issues better than Billy knows himself, and knowing all of that, Brett loves Billy anyway. Brett isn't fooling himself, thinking of Billy as something he's not. There are times when Brett is the most mature character in the story. And then he'll ruin it all with a fart joke or something, because fuck being serious.

Thanks Okie! Almost there!

Well, maybe not all teenagers are evil after all! Billy is fortunate to have people in his life who are willing to be patient with him and see the good in him. We'll have to find out just who the Broken Boy will be!

Thanks, Spikey! No perfect characters here! Billy's cynical nature won't allow him to see that there are people who do care about him in the world. However, his ego won't allow him to admit he might be wrong about that. Billy and Brett might get around to solving some of their relationship issues in the next book. They might even find out what true love is. But yes, Brett's a horny fifteen year old and really wants to get laid. We'll deal with the fallout from George's stroke more in the next book. There remains a bit more darkness yet to come.

Yes, the signs of George's declining health pointed to something bad happening. As for Brett, Billy obviously looked around for a few seconds and didn't find anything, so Brett must be innocent, right?