jkwsquirrel

I think we all have a picture of ourselves in our minds that doesn't quite match reality. Billy certainly doesn't see himself the way that other people do. In some ways they see him far better than he sees himself, but in other ways they point out flaws that he doesn't want to see.

I stumbled down the path toward Brett’s house. I was in a daze. Right at that moment, my best friend was being molested. And I was running away from it. I felt like such a douche. I should have gone back. I should have called the cops. I should have done something. Anything! But I didn’t. I didn’t know what to do, really. What could I do? I was just a kid! What if I told and things got even worse for Dustin? What if his dad killed him? Or worse, what if I told and Dustin hated me

Yes, we are definitely in the endgame now for the Broken Boy. We're heading toward a smashing conclusion.

Thanks Rob! We're in the endgame now for this portion of the story. The dominoes are falling quickly. We are in the last day, which will end in brokenness. It's fascinating watching Billy come unraveled and the whole book has been a kind of slow-motion mental breakdown for him. It' won't be slow motion in the next chapters. You know Billy enough by now to know that secret is in the hands of the wrong boy. I'm always grateful for compliments on my writing style. There's a lot of stuff that is lurking in the story because Billy simply makes note of some seemingly random event and moves on. I've got good observant readers who catch the pieces and figure things out ahead of Billy. It's really fun to see the reactions as things play out. I wonder what other secrets are hiding in plain sight that Billy simply hasn't figured out yet?

Paula and George are far from perfect, and they do make a lot of mistakes along the way, but they are decent and good people who are trying their best to deal with their rascal of a son. Billy is a lot like his parents. He is the combination of Paula's strong sense of justice and wanting to save people combined with George's brilliant outside-the-box thinking and temper. They have produced quite the character, luckily for us who get to enjoy his perspective on the world. As for Dustin, well, we'll see in future chapters what's going on there. Trouble is lurking in the shadows of his troubled life.

Hey Jay, As always, your perspective allows me to think more deeply about the motivations behind Billy's actions. While I'm not writing Billy with any kind of mental disorder in mind, under stress anyone can certainly display signs of trouble. What I have been trying to write is a character who is heading into a mental breakdown. Each episode in his life is pushing him closer to the edge. The break is imminent.

Thank you for this review! I'm glad you're able to relate to Billy. It's great to share the story with you. It'll take a while to sort out everything going on with Dustin. There will come a moment when he learns the truth. As for Amanda, what I like about writing her is that she doesn't lie. She's vicious, cruel, and abusive, but also one of the most honest characters in the story. She just uses the truth to pile on further abuse.

The sun was shining through my window when I woke up the next morning. I had kicked off my jeans and pulled my shirt off during the night, so I was laying there in my underwear. I sat on the side of my bed and stretched my arms. Through the wall, I could hear the vacuum cleaner running in the living room. I looked at my alarm clock. It was already nine-thirty. Either my dad hadn’t left to work for Mr. Nicholson yet or he’d left me behind. Or maybe he hadn’t come home. But then, I didn’t

I wouldn't worry about Max anymore. Something far worse is on the way. Billy's learning what it means to be a man. Right now, he's not doing a good job at controlling his emotions, but he'll learn eventually. Brett's mom doesn't pay enough attention to him to know anything is wrong. Billy is going to have some work to do to patch things up with Dustin after what he did. Thanks as always, Lisa, for you thoughtful review.

The number one complaint I've seen about reading stories on the internet is incomplete stories. This has been a problem since the internet became a place for writing stories. It makes sense. Most stories we encounter in the public market are pretty much completed before they are published, or are being produced by highly talented writers. Imagine if JK Rowling had stopped Harry Potter at book six! Readers place a great deal of trust in a writer, and the greatest betrayal of that trust is to leave a story unfinished. So then, very good advice to prevent that from happening is presented in this blog. Know where you want to go, and don't give up until you get there. Even a quick, "and they lived happily ever after" is better than nothing.

Yep. You've got it! Yes, Billy's not unstable or crazy, he's just a kid who's under a lot of stress, who thinks the whole world is out to get him. He's hiding what he thinks is the world's biggest secret that will make him a social outcast, get him killed, or worse, picked on. He's shy and nerdy, socially awkward, and kind of adorkable. But when he's threatened he fights back as hard as he can with the only weapon at his disposal, his mouth. You laid it all out beautifully, I can't say it any better than you did. I don't mind when people get frustrated with Billy, or any of the characters. It's all fun. People get mad because they care, and that's a really good thing. Billy can be a frustrating boy who you just want to slap, as George found out. He can be a real asshole sometimes, as Dustin said, but under the bluster and rage is a kid who just doesn't want to get hurt. Thank you so much for this review! It means a lot and I appreciate it!

I take it you don't like Dustin? It's okay. I excel at writing characters that you want to slap! As a writer, it's kind of fun to write douchebag characters, though, for readers, maybe not so much? One thing, all of Billy's explosions in the last two chapters took place when someone threatened Billy's relationship with Brett. His mom told him he couldn't call or tutor Brett, his dad wouldn't let him go to the party where he'd get to hang out with Brett for the first time in two weeks, and Dustin exposed Brett's drug use, something Billy has very strong opinions about.

We're going to earn our happy ending, dammit! Just not in this part of the story. The Broken Boy ends with brokenness, just as I promised. But the next part, we'll do some healing. Billy might just remove that stick he's got up his behind and replace it with something better. Meanwhile, there's still damage yet to come. Nobody's safe. Anyone could be broken. I wish I were describing a fictional high school, but sadly the reality is that in rural school districts some students are treated better than others simply because of their last name. Most of the teachers have some relationship with someone on the school board. If you have the right name you could get away with anything. If you don't have the right name, you better know your place. Think about this, Billy's dad had a reputation for trouble. It's a small town. People know what he did, they've known him all his life. He's never going to be the mayor. The Roberts name isn't going to open any doors like the McKenzie name or the Taylor name. Billy has a very strong sense of justice. He knows things aren't as they should be, but he also knows his 'place' because he grew up with these people. Brett didn't. Brett's a city boy. Brett knows there's a world outside of the Mon Valley, but it's all Billy has ever known.

The evidence was always there. I loved everyone pointing it out and then pretending that I had no idea what was going on. So I guess I can confirm, yes, Brett, the little scamp, is self-medicating. Buying from Max, in fact! But now Max is in jail and Brett's not the kind of kid who thinks ahead and has a good stash. Oh, I really wanted to share in the fun, but darn it, I needed Dustin to be the one who did the big reveal, causing Sir William to take out his anger on Dustin, which will lead to... stuff. Suffering for my art! I agree as well, lots of people have dropped the ball to get to this point in the story. In a small town, the cops aren't always the best and brightest, often times they're rent-a-cops. The teachers and administration are usually all related to the school board and the hiring process is very political. There's usually about two or three teachers who really care, the rest just want their paycheck. So yeah, it's a crap-sack world, I just wish that part of the setting was only a story.

We're going down, down in an earlier round, my friend.

Thanks Okie! Billy's not mentally unstable or anything major, he's just a dick sometimes. Nothing happens to him that he doesn't have a hand in causing himself most of the time, beginning with his explosive temper, which he inherited from his dad. This chapter just showed what happens when Billy is outmatched. He got mad at the wrong guy. I wonder what people think, did Billy get what he deserved or did his dad go too far? Billy has his opinion. I have mine. It's interesting writing a story like this. Billy started out kind of neutral and shy, observing things, getting in some minor trouble, but nothing major. Now, he's become a major asshole at times. Eventually, he'll turn it around and grow up. But for now, what a jerk! It's fun to write at least!

I stayed in my room for the rest of the evening. I felt really stupid acting like such a child, but it was all my mother’s fault. Why did she have to be such a bitch? She didn’t even let me explain my side of the story. She didn’t even care! All she cared about was about her reputation. She didn’t want to have to deal with Mrs. McKenzie. They were in women’s civic group together, and I know that was a big part of why mom was so pissed off. I really wanted some ice for my foot. It really

I think the phenomenon of children becoming nasty little monsters is firmly ingrained in our DNA. Even the "good ones" go a little bad. I don't think there's anything unusual about Billy being a little shit at this point in his life. Testosterone is a hell of a hormone. "Rawr!! I'm aggressive and angry all the time!!" As for Dustin's life, never underestimate the importance of "family." Paula handled the situation like "How could you do this to me?" She wasn't trying to be a bitch about it, she just was. Of course, Billy was trying to play the sympathy card on her and that didn't win him any points either. Billy needs to learn how to handle criticism and how to act when things don't do his way. Maybe he'll learn someday. There are just so many pieces of the puzzle that I can't comment on just yet because it would give things away. For instance, Mike just went to jail. Seems an insignificant thing that will maybe make life easier for Dustin, right? But his arrest has started a chain reaction that will lead to some really big events. It'll be fun to knock the dominos down!

Thanks Lisa! One of the themes of the story, I believe, is that people know what they want to know. Billy wants to believe that no one knows about him and Brett, so he doesn't see it any other way. He doesn't want to know Brett has a problem, so he doesn't put the pieces together. Also, I'm sure his mind was about a billion miles away from his conversation with Max about the mysterious "Tony" after everything that had happened to him since then. There is tension in the relationship right away, because of course there is. I try to write as true-to-life as I can and still be dramatic and interesting. Very few relationships, if any, come together perfectly. Those that seem perfect on the outside are just as fragile as any other. The story is, as George said in the last chapter, to know all the crap the other person brings with them and find a way to love them anyway. That'll be the lesson the boys will have to learn together. Glad you liked the chapter! The title was slightly mean, wasn't it? hehehhe!

So WAR has been going on for quite awhile now, and before that the first edition was a decade ago and I only recently discovered the "Blonde, Brunette, Redhead" trope. I didn't realize there was such a thing! Of course, the boys don't exactly stick to the stereotypes associated with their hair color. Billy is the more fiery redhead, Brett the dumb blonde, and Dustin the level-headed brunette, but in the story Billy's the blonde, Dustin's the redhead, and Brett's the brunette. Even though Billy does dumb things sometimes, I don't think he approaches "dumb blonde" territory. I guess tropes are made to be broken. I wonder what other tropes have weaseled their way into my story?

Thanks Rob, Yes, a busy chapter! Much of Billy’s motivation is fear. He liked his life when everything made sense and it was all neat and orderly. Now it’s out of control and he doesn’t know how to handle it. It’s quite the downward spiral. We’ll find out more about Dustin soon enough. Brett… I did a lot of research to try to nail down what it’s like to be dyslexic. The problem is there is no one set of criteria. Different people experience it differently. I wanted to focus on the feelings it produces in Brett more than anything. It’s very frustrating for him and it makes him feel dumb even though he’s not. It’s frustrating for Billy because he was raised by a couple of “fixers” and he inherited that desire to want to fix things. But he found out quite quickly that Brett’s issues aren’t something a fifteen year old kid with no training can fix. And besides that, Brett’s not looking to be fixed, he just wants to be loved. As for Billy’s meltdown, two things… 1, yes, it’s only going to get worse. Billy only knows one way to get out of a hole, and that’s to just keep digging. 2. Billy didn’t really handle the situation with a lot of maturity. He’s socially inept and he doesn’t know how to process everything that’s happening to him so he’s lashing out, which is just making things worse, which is making him even more angry… and so on.

Well it wasn't my intention to write Billy as having any kind of disorder. He's just a dick sometimes! Frustration, anger, and fear tend to make one act in strange ways. As for Dustin, you'll see soon enough...

It wasn’t my intention that Billy would have any kind of social disorder, just social awkwardness and a tendency to be a bit of a dick. Look closely at the scene of Billy’s little tantrum. It is over-the-top and melodramatic, because he’s putting on an act, trying to make his mother feel bad. “I wanted her to hear me and feel terrible that she’d hurt me.” When Billy’s really hurt he responds by trying to hurt whoever hurt him even worse. Brett says he sucks at bowling, Billy makes fun of him not having a father. Amanda picks on Dustin, Billy mocks the noises she makes when she’s having sex. That sort of thing. He’ll eventually try it on the wrong person and… well, read the next chapter to see what happens when he pisses off the wrong person. Much of the story is about Billy growing up and maturing from the nasty little dickhead he’s become. Almost all of the trouble in Billy’s life comes about from his own making. Billy makes his own enemies because he masks all his insecurities with his sarcasm and bluster. Billy runs his mouth and talks a big game, but it’s all talk. He gets into a real fight and he’s quickly on his back about to get punched in the face. He gets into a real game and he throws the ball to the other team. Maybe someone needs to slap some sense into the kid? As for the principal’s conversation with Paula, well, it was 2002 and Mrs. Patrick was running out the clock. The dirty picture probably ended up in her trash can where she hoped it would stay buried until she retired, along with any hint of gay scandal. Even Billy saying he’d kill Joey was quietly swept under the rug. It was a different era, before bullying became such a big issue.

But if they can make it through the storm there really are better days ahead!

Thanks DQ! So imagine you have raised this beautiful, smart, happy little boy who is affectionate and sweet and doesn't cause anyone any trouble. Then he transforms into a petulant little monster who swears, and lies, and grumps around, and talks back, and it feels like he's taken your kid's place. That's what it's like to be George and Paula Roberts. "Who is this monster who stole our boy?" Meanwhile imagine you've grown up with two parents who have just adored you and cared for you and you always felt accepted and loved and you always felt like you could tell them anything. And then you begin to realize that these people who have raised you aren't perfect. They're just making it up as they go along and you realize they aren't as perfect as you thought they were. Then you realize there are things about yourself that you don't want them to know and your can't talk to them about it. Welcome to Billy's life. They're drifting apart and they all feel it, they just don't know what to do about it, and it seems like everything they do to try to fix it just makes it worse. No one's psychotic or anything, just stressed and frustrated. It'll get better eventually.