Boxerdude

Kitty, I know you have directed this question to Birds, but I took you up on this challenge as when I read your question, the answer came flowing out. You make a very solid point and I have my own point of view on it and I think it is the way I feel the story should end. David

My thoughts in answer to this question is that there is never complete resolution at least I don't feel that it is a requirement to being with some one. Having been in a long term relationship, I know that the first few years you have a lot of "compromising" you have to do. That does not mean complete resolution. You may not be completely happy with the compromise, but it is a way to stay together and then work on issues together. I can say that I do not have complete resolution in my own relationship, it is a life time work in progress. I like the fact that some did mention that Connor is not "In Love" with Ben. But, when you are "In Love" with someone like Ryan and Connor and remember they were basically each others "first" in Las Vegas, those feeling just don't go away! You can ignore them or hide them and even bury them, but they don't go away that quickly. I my life's exerience, "rebound guy" has almost always lost in the end. Not to say they go back, but they move on. Connor and Ryan are to close and I think for the family to be a whole again, Ryan and Connor will need to proceed to compromise and move forward because they do love each other. I still believe that "True Love" conquers all. David

Oh how I agree. I have the same thing my bogs. Kid's, no way. You can't just give them a treat and put them in a 4 ft kennel and walk away for awhile!! LOL Kid's also cost a lot of $$$. I like the fact my dogs love me even if I scold them. All they want to do is please. Kids are "please me or else." David

Well, it sounds like a handful with the cat's!! I don't have cat's but you have seen I do have 3 Boxers and Rat Terrier (rescue dog) and they aren't as bad at pestering me brush them but do understand about the going outside issue. With the dogs, I have to make sure I do it at least once an hour if not more so they can go potty. But, I did train them to start telling me when "they" want to go out. I bought a brass bell, like you would see in a hotel to ring. I keep it beside the back door and when they need to go out, they ring it! Took me about 20 minutes to teach them. Boy, that has saved me a lot of trouble. How old are the cat's? what kind? I bet you couldn't live without them? You get attached to having them around!! Love can be a pain. Speaking of that, glad to here you an Mick are moving right along. Sounds good!! Have a Great Week! David

Nick, your poem is beautiful! If I had not read or been reading WTDBYAM I would not understand it as much, but I can see the pain and I can see you growing up just in the words you wrote. Your dad, at the age he made that decision, was a wise young man. He did make the right desecion for both of you. You are definitely growing up to be a great young man!! Keep that poem close to you as it will always remind you of where you came from and where you are now!!! Hugs, David

Well, Nick, I guess I am going to have to stop reading WTDBYAM and go to Jump Off. LOL I want to read something else you have done. Way to go on all the new ideas and stories. Have fun at your party and enjoy, you deserve it!! David

OMG, I had Mike watch the video with me and I started to cry. We both agreed that it reminded us of each other 17 years ago. The words to the song and everything. Thank you for sharing. Mike and I don't often talk much about our beginning as much as we do where we have ended up. So the song really brought back some real emotions we had forgotten about. It was refreshing. I am so glad you shared that with us!!! You have more energy than I do, but guess being 20 years your senior, that can happen with time. I don't know how you can even go outside? Here in Dallas, it has been over 100 almost everyday and I know Houston has to be worst because when I lived there (as a kid for about 5 years) I remember how humid it was. Keep up the good work, it will all come together in good time. Nothing happen by accident. David

Wow!!! You did a good job. I like the Connor on LB's homepage where SOOTB is. The rest of them I would say fit well. You did well with the Twins and Cody, OMG!!! I think you hit the nail on the head. He is stunning!! You really did some searching. I like your Ryan better than mine. I have always been a fan of everwood and this guy is sooo hot. Good Job!!!! Oh, I like the way you did the copy and past thing of their descriptions, that was quite the finishing touch. Boxerdude

Hey Kevin, As you know I live in Dallas, my family though lives in NW Arkansas. I am having a harder and harder time going home to visit myself. Because Mike and I have been together so long, we have established ourselves and are very happy together. But, everytime we go home, everyone thinks that we can fix everything because either they want money or they want us to do something to fix their situation. It drives me nuts!!! I don't mind calling, but I really hate having to go back there. So, you are not the only one who feels that way. You are not alone and don't feel guilty. For years, I tried to fix things, but it just ended up causing problems between me and Mike and no one else really cared about that. So, I just go a little less often and make sure my stays are short and I don't do "anything" other then relax and eat. There is nothing wrong with being happy with your life and you are right, you can not fix their's. Even if you wanted to, they would have to be willing to listen and follow your lead, which no one ever seems to want to do because that means they would have to "DO SOMETHING!" You keep yourself focused on you, you are the only one who can make you happy. Now a boyfriend are partner can "add" to the happiness but still it comes down to you. It took me 10 years, of being with Mike to figure that out. Boy what a different person I am today. You learned it at 22, so you are about 10 years ahead of where I was. You have a good head on your shoulders and you should be proud of yourself. I personally am very proud of you because you are wise in your thoughts and decisions. Have a Great Week!!! David

So glad you are feeling better and in a good mood. I will have to get started on one of Don's story, can't pass up a good recomendation like that. But, I must say, I hurt, C James is a great guy and I am sure he deserves to win reader of the month but have been trying so hard to get caught up on WTDBYAM. I am on chapter 26 and it has only taken me 3 friggen weeks. This working is for the birds, I don't have enought time to read!!!! LOL Keep up the good work too!! Boxerdude

I agree with you taste in men!!! If you want a man that can sing and dance for you privately, you might have a chance at Lance Bass!! I thought his coming out was great!! Boxerdude

Thanks and very well put I might add. I do agree with your point of view. Thanks for sharing!!! You're one smart guy!! Boxerdude

Nick, you know I am older than your dad, but you can always email me. I will always be your friend and try to listen. I know how hard it can be to get over stuff like that. Kevin is right and we all will be there for you. There is nothing to appologize for and definetly no need to worry about us. We are like an extened family because we care about each other. This is a much more down to earth friendly group of people that I have ever run across in this type of setting. Sometimes, you just need a shoulder to lean on or cry, I know I do! Your never alone, so you keep taking care of yourself. Hugs and Kisses Boxerdude

I think you are right about the deep down feelings, first loves are the hardest to get over and never forget those feelings. So, there is a possibility. Well, what I can tell you is that I first found out about him on LB Blog. If you go up to the top of this page and click on blogs, you will find LB's blog, you can't miss it, the name makes it clear. Read down a couple and you will find where he makes a reference to a cute Italian boy. Then click on comments. You will start to understand from there. It is really funny, because at first it sounds like he is really hostle, but if you read on you start understanding that it is more bantering than anything. So, by mentioning his name in a story, it is like an "I got ya." Anyone else out there please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, except Luigi. Nickolas, so why is it that you are so dead set that Ryan is horrible? I agree he has done Connor wrong, but he got screwed up in the head too. I am wondering if he is maybe someone we should try to understand and have some compasion for. If you have never travled the road, you can't give direction. Just curious because you are so close to their age, I was wanting to hear a more detailed reason from your prosective. Boxerdude

Wow, sounds like a cool match up with you and your new found friend!! I hope it works out as well. I think it is neat that you choose to speak in chinese. I am sure it helps you feel more at home. Well, I guess it is just tough luck on Luigi's part! Hey, what is the signifiance of the tatoo. I can't imagine YOU just picking something off the wall saying "that looks cool?" Chapter 24 was great, supprised to hear the 25 has already been sent off!! WooHoo!! Boxerdude

Drew, I am glad someone else mentioned that seen. Oh, I almost fell out of my chair when I saw Luigi's name and the italian setting. Cody and Toby, oh it made me feel all sappy inside (good) and what they had to say about Connor was so great too. I like the way that Connor cleared up how he felt about Maggie too. You hit the nail on the head with that one!! I just wonder what is next? So many things have been answered in this chapter. You know now that Connor is back to looking at performing, LB could make him a contestant on American Idol, then win and be "our" new American Idol LOL The sex seen with Ben and Connor was really good. I could picture Ben as if I was there. That was HOT. But the poor guy has got to learn to use his lips, if you know what I mean!! The next morning as Connor was stareing at him, wow, what a beautiful pictuer that gave me of Ben. I really did not realize how hot he was until then. Way to go Connor. This send my back a good 20 years and remind me of some of hotties I use to date. MMMMMM Nicholas, your killing me. Ryan working up a plan to get Connor back, humm, maybe. I just find it so funny strongly you make your point out. LOL I do like Ben and Connor together. Ben is a real sweety. And the way you make Ryan out to be the Devil, you have such a way with words. No wonder your an author! I loved the song that Connor sang to Ben at the Lounge, it was really pretty. What a cool double date!!! You know, I wonder if we have heard the last from Thom, you know he kept those recordings? LB, Great Chapter as usual. I just wondering where you are going to go with it from here because from what I can tell, alomst all of the questions we have had on the forum have been answered or settled. How good of an imagination does a Buddah have? Really looking forward to seeing what you have in mind. Boxerdude

Wow Nick, I am so jealous. I love Cali. Mike and I went about 3 years ago to San Francisco and spent a week touring the city and went up to Mendosino and stayed at a bed and breakfast for about 3 nights then came back to San Fran. It was soo cool, I love the city. We had another couple with us (girls) and I told them that I had planned an afternoon for everyone and it was my treat. They were shocked when they got on a boat and we went to see Alcataz. It was soo cool. I have a picture of me sitting on the steps where Clint Eastwood sat when they made the movie. I got to talk to a lady who grew up as a little girl on the island. Her dad was a guard. Anyway, I can imagine the weather was great too!! Give Taylor a high five for me for nailing your cousin when he caught the ball. I love that stuff. People always think we are wimps. I love it when people think that about me then they find out that that I am one test away from a Blackbelt in Taekwondo and have won many tournaments, the look on there face is priceless. :wacko: Congratulations on your license. When does Taylor go for his? I haven't got far enough into your story yet to figure out who is older. You really go me tickled when you were having your first "out of the closet" episode. Talking about all the cute boys, the commercials, I could just picture you walking around all sassy like and then " I am Gay." Great writting!!! I would just love to have known what was going on in Taylors mind!!! Sounds like you guys did a lot of driving while on vacation? But I am sure you had a blast. Oh, by they way, did you have plenty of money? Bring any home? Was dad right or wrong? LOL I was talking with Kitty last night and she was surpised about you getting you license. She is so sweet. I love talking to her. So was Monday you official Birthday? What did you do for your birthday, better yet what presents did you get. I bet Taylor got you something special!! HeeHee Well have a good one, Hugs, David

I think I am missing what you are trying to say. Usually I understand clearly, this time I am confussed. I understand that there are different kinds of pain, and different ways of it being presented, but how does that reflect on my comment. I think that we have coverered all the different pain issues and I was trying to project the thought of different recovery methods. Put the pain behind us and move forward to the healing issues. So, if I am missing the point please be frank with me. Boxerdude

Kevin, This first part is for you. You in no way have hurt me or offended me so no need to apologize. I guess I was reacting a part as a whole to everyone. I did not mean to sound like you had offened me. My point was mainly to wonder if anyone took the time to read how it affected someone they know here on the forum who has been through that experience. I wanted to share with everyone how well LB had written the chapter. Your posts are always great and do not shy away from them. I appreciate you very much especially in what you have to say. Your feelings and point of view are respected so keep it up! Kitty, As always, you are so good at redirecting the conversation. We have spent enought time talking about pain and hurt. It is time we go back to some other issues and discuss what do we think it will take to one, make the is a good stroy, 2) what so we think reality would hold for them in the future. I am going to go back to a few chapters ago when I was really hoping for the rebuilding of friendships and the start of emotional healing. But, LB was wiser than me because he knew that the charactes needed to go to rock bottom first. Here is my comment from the Pre Release of chapter 22. Okay, I will try again. I know this one has not been used and it very well could be about both Ryan and Toby. Believe Music by Elton John Lyrics by Bernie Taupin Available on the album Made In England I believe in love, it's all we got Love has no boundaries, costs nothing to touch War makes money, cancer sleeps Curled up in my father and that means something to me Churches and dictators, politics and papers Everything crumbles sooner or later But love, I believe in love I believe in love, it's all we got Love has no boundaries, no borders to cross Love is simple, hate breeds Those who think difference is the child of disease Father and son make love and guns Families together kill someone Without love, I believe in love Without love I wouldn't believe In anything that lives and breathes Without love I'd have no anger I wouldn't believe in the right to stand here Without love I wouldn't believe I couldn't believe in you And I wouldn't believe in me Without love I believe in love I believe in love I believe in love It meantions so much about what has happened, I thought it would be a good title for this next chapter. Love is what will save this family and everyone around them. It did for Connor, now it will for the those that Connor can touch. He has it in him, it is his gift to give his love, friendship, and help his lover!! I still think this says what I really feel inside and is even more applicable to the stroy at hand. "Love Cocurs All!" I think this chapter is in need of some real loving!! As is the world around us. Boxerdude

I have been trying to say the same thing LB, not sure why no one has picked up on it. Who is the real person being hurt here. I believe it is Connor. I wrote my first post to this right after reading it so that i could put my emotions into words. I find it odd that no one has really responded to it. Maybe I sound like a rambling idiot, I don't know. But, the feelings were there and I felt them. I felt like I was Connor going through it. I have said more than once, I know what Connor felt and he was completely justified in screaming at him. I am afraid if it would have been me, I not so sure that I would not have slugged him!! What Connor just went through, no one can understand unless you have been there! I have and he is true to life. Ryan needs to come clean and make things right with Connor, not the other way around. Boxerdude.

LB, do you think you could post something on the form for those of us "newbies" about the summer anthology? I only figured out what it was when Kitty explained it to me. But I think it would be cool, if you posted a string so that we could ask questions of you so we could understand it better. Some of us might be willing to right for the Fall or Winter one if we had some idea what it was about and what it took to do it. Trying to take your mind off of otherthings. hee hee. How is your training going? Running of the neighbors yet? I have several friends who have the Rav's and they just love them. They always trade them in for the newer model. I have heard nothing but good reports about them. You did good guy!!! Boxerdude

I too had some real difficulty with it. I don't know if you read my first post right after reading it, but it was everything I could think to put into words. It aslo "triggered" another disaster for me. Yesterday at work I had a complete breakdown, I could not get that SOB's face out of my head who raped me when I was 8 years old. I had to call my Shrink and meet with my Therapist. The good thing is, that making myself read the story and going through the experience with Connor having to pick out his rapist may have actually started giving me some closure. My mind was ready to deal with the final set of emotions. It was a sad day, but in the end, I think it was the first day of me getting past a very bad experience. (Note, I only started remembering it happened 6 years ago, I was 36 when the memory came flooding back.) LB has done an incredible job by writing this chapter, the reality the emotions, the drama. It is all real for those of us who have had to deal with it. So you are not alone in being sad. You are among friends and company. Actually I am glad someone finally put into words what I could not. You have done a very good job of pointing out the obvious. I think we all tried to over analysis it instead of just seeing it. Cuddos to you! You are absolutely on the mark here. My partner will do the same thing and you would think after 17 years he would learn to just come and talk to me, nope, that is just his nature. I don't like the ADD comment either, but I am not sure that is really what Ryan upset about. I think he was just shaken into reality at how much pain he caused Connor and I think he still knew Connor loved him deeply and his out rage was a testament to his love. That kind of outrage comes from deep deep pain. I know, I have to amost get to that point just to get my partners attention when he has hurt me deeply. My therapist made a comment yesterday, she said that I obviously related to Connor, but who was Ryan to me. I was not sure what she meant at first, so I thought about it, the told her he was Mike (my life time partner.) I did cry after that. But, if it was not for the writing of a great author, these things would not means so much and touch us so deeply. Don't you dare even think you are comlaining. This forum is for us to voice our opinions and feelings. You say what ever is on your mind. We are like a support group in a way. We help each other so keep on writing, I would like to hear more of what you have to say. Hugs, Boxerdude

LB, nothing comes without a price, waiting is a price. But all good things come in time. Go back to you Buddah teachings and meditate on them. This is nothing new. Believe in what goes around comes around. Maybe Buddist say it differently, but it is still the same idea. You have given of yoursself more than many of use could have ever imagined doing. It will come to you, just be patient . The energy of the world does not pass by those who have consistentley given it positively. You will be rewarded. It is the way of things, but it might not be on your timiming which is the hardest aspect to accept. Believe in fate, believe in love, believe in positive energy and you will be rewarded. Be stead fast, and you will succeed. The universe will show itself when it is ready and I believe that you will be given a gift. Boxerdude

We are not all that nieve ( spelling sorry). But, I think you are deeper and know where you are going and have a path. The title of a story usually leads one down the path. There is the begining of the song, and the ending. You speak only of the beginning so I am left to wonder. Boxerdude

I am still holding on to my gutt feeling. Go back and ready my post with the words to the song "Someday out of the Blue." It talks about sorrow, love, missing that love, looking for it and hopefully finding it again. I believe that that song is about the same two people. I may be wrong, but if that is the title of this stroy, then it must have a premise. It does not mean they will end up together at the end of the story, but the song eludes to the fact that they eventually will. Every title of every chapter, has a thread running through it that ties it back to the song. Why should the name of the story be any different. Boxerdude