Aviana
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Everything posted by Aviana
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Hi Renee The poem was very honest...it felt like u wrote ur feelings... I wanna you n tell you not all goodbyes are permanent!!
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'And the longest short ride begins' Loved this line...and your description of the ride... very well written
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The beauty of rose described with such simplicity and beauty...is really great!! Loved it...keep it up!!
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I think saying anything about this piece won't be enough...it has come from the depth of you heart- from your pain...it is not just the content but the way you presented the content that makes the difference... This poem is gonna echo in my dreams for few days... M younger than you r, but I 'll still say, I m glad that you survived it, came out strong, n built a better life for yourself!! I know past is something you cannot escape neither the pain n horrors u have been through, but u can definitely make a better future! I 'll pray that this shadows of the past never haunt your present... A great wrting...as always!!
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Honest to the 't'...your poems always says a story! N I feel like being pulled into these streams of your story/poem...Another great writing
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Sadness - Life - California
Aviana commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in Sadness - Life - California
Wow...three of them were beautiful... Sadness was brief and strong and both life and California's imagery was beautiful As always very well written... -
This one made me choke and coming from someone who barely cries it is the best compliment I could give you and your poem (it was just that good)...U have a gift tim...u through your poem can touch people's heart
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Oh God...I m totally conflicted! I like the poem, but I didn't like you harming yourself...I wanna tell you please never do it again but then again I wonder if I have that right... Like AC I too think, it's first time I have read first hand account of why people sort to this...but this didn't stop me from feeling sad or heart broken... As usual tim, this poem was heart breakingly good!
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Chapter 3 A Rent Boy’s Christmas Birthday
Aviana commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in Chapter 3 A Rent Boy’s Christmas Birthday
Since m reading your poem one after another, it feels like one blow after other... Amazing is all I could...Amazing tim that u could say so much in so few words... -
'Any will do – we’re not human' this hit me real hard...it has been sometime since I have felt my heart ache at reading a poem or a story... To think this is a reality n not some fiction that u told here, just gave me that heart ache! Honest, raw and strong...that's how I felt about ur poem...
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It was sad and heart breaking... It's auto biographical, that's what makes it horrifying... I didn't want to like it (since it is so heart breaking) but I didn't know how else to say it's 'nicely written'.... I 'll just tell u one thing...Tim you are really strong!!
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Thank you parker...I m so Gald you enjoyed it
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Thank you reader...yes seeing how they always seem to bring delight...can't help but describe them...
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Thank Rj...
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Thank you sir Yes...it is a little armful of happiness...bringing smile on everyone's face
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Really glad to hear that I I cud relive it...thank you so much for your comment...
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Thank you so much Lyssa
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I might sound slightly dramatic...but your writing actually left my feelings tried...You made the picture so alive, I thought I was seeing it n not reading... Your writing depict your emotions in a beautiful manner...n it actually made me wanna try my hand on haibun! I hope your mother gets well soon...fingers crossed!!
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What I like best here is how you painted the image of a suffocatingly hot summer with words like exhausting, thirsty, gasping, sitting on sauna, steam, fumes etc N the horrific traffic, the polluted air coming for free! Very well written...totally gives me the feel!!
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Hey Northie Well I can see m late for the review but can't help it... I like all your poems here but the haiku was so powerful...eric has got the feels, I like how u showed the bursting forth of suppressed feelings... N the imagery for 'more words' were excellent...!!! All in all a wonderful read it is!
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Thank you!! Yes, maybe it was the effect of the ceremony (baby shower) that invoked the feelings...but I agree...they are so pure n innocent!! Little angles no doubt!!
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ARMFUL OF HAPPINESS A wingless angel, a God's gift Unadulterated, sinless, an arm's fit; Innocent eyes with pearl like skin Defenseless in the hands they lean; A divine smile that illuminates the lives Stirs delight with innocuous cries; A proud smile, a joyful tear A fervent wish, a hope-filled cheer; Like the first drop of rain Or like an undamaged grain; Like the shimmering dew in a leaf Or
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Chapter 10- Prompt 5- Rhyming Couplets- Climbing Out
Aviana commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 10- Prompt 5- Rhyming Couplets- Climbing Out
Another amazing poem sir...it feels like your words speak...even though in the starting I felt the hesitancy n the loss of trust still as I progressed I sensed the will to fight and determination to win in it! -
'Inside is a repeating, raging cry no one hears Because I choose to keep it to myself Hidden echoes hint at something I cannot grasp' This words touched a chord somehere.. it is really amazing how much a poem can convey... Thank you sir, for writing such a wonderful poem...
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I would have to agree with reader...you heart is seen in your words! The tenderness as well as the compassion in them...another great writing from you!
