Mancunian

A life lesson we never know how valuable something is till it's gone, then it's too late to treasure it we can only miss it. You know how to get a point across without dragging out a story.

A nice piece and I like the finish with a touch of humour.

This left me with a sense of the desperation and fear that the character possibly felt, I like it but not the feelings it left me with. To get that across in so few words is brilliant.

It's a short story that is really a sketch drawn in words, when you picture it in your mind you see the story. That's not just writing that is skill.

A lot is said in very few words, nicely done. And it definitely puts a different slant on those "Once upon a time' tales that we grew up reading with our parents, it almost sends a chill down my spine.

Another rollercoaster of emotions, I fear for the safety of everyone on the campsite especially the kids and Orson, I'm angry angry at the rangers son for putting them in danger. I'm pissed (sorry for the bad language) at a father that can't control his son and pissed (sorry again) at a mother who carers so little for her son that she can't see the danger she is putting him in and worried for Elias who has already gone through hell and is probably going to be subjected to more abuse. I fully understand Orson wanting to take his own direct action, but also agree that it not a good decision to that and hope he doesn't but only because if he does he may not be there for Elias who has obviously found his way into Orson's affections in a good way. A great chapter that left me with an enigma, how do you respond when even though it makes you happy for Elias finding Orson it also leaves you angry at all the shit they having to deal with. I can't leave a 'love it' reaction and an angry reaction and a sad reaction. You can only leave one so I left a like and hope it reflects how I feel, but I still think it's not enough. Oh and I missed the the chocolate being left out, I think you had it right when I read it. lol.

Unfortunately both here in the UK and in the US we let many of our vets down when we should be doing more, it is wrong that the only help many of them get is from charities that have been formed by vets themselves. What the charities are doing should be being done by our respective governments.

Thank you @KayDeeMac for taking the time to comment. Like many who become homeless the events that bring about their situation are never good, with support many can and do manage to get back into a good place in their lives but not all are able to do that. This is The Major's story, the events that brought him down, the times that kept him going and brought him to a new 'family' that hopefully helps him find his place in life again.

Thanks again @KayDeeMac for your comments they are always welcome. JJ's reason's for running are understandable, it may not have been the best decision but who am I to judge? I've never been in that position and many youngsters would no doubt do the same in those circumstances. Here in the UK people who commit crimes of that nature often end up in confinement at their own request for safety, not all get to the end of their sentence for fairly obvious reasons. The drama in life is never ending it just shifts direction and affects different people at different times, but we also experience the good times and I'm hoping for those times for our characters too.

Thank you again @KayDeeMac for taking the time to comment it's appreciated, it's readers comments that encourage me to continue. The tissues may be a regular need throughout the story, for both sad and happy tears.

Thank you @KayDeeMac for the comments, I'm guessing you're a bit excited about Jason/JJ, there is more to come on his story unfortunately it's not all good. But as they say you have to get through the bad stuff to get the good. The first two parts to Lost Soul - The Ox are posted, there is one final part to come which I'll be getting done as soon as I can . 😀

The worst part about what you say on the subject of abuse is that you are right in every way, it's been going on in many institutions for a long time, too long and probably will continue to so it is important that even a hint of abuse is reported and investigated. When you read the part about JJ it may not be apparent straight away, but a second read answered your question about JJ's reasons for running. It is highly likely that the rumours do exist, we'll find out in a future chapter.

It was Monday morning and JJ lay in his hospital bed with a floating feeling that comes with still being half asleep. Today he would find out if he was going to be discharged and he knew the social worker would be there to pick him up but that was not what JJ was thinking about, he was thinking about the boy he loved. Danny had spent most of the weekend visiting, sometimes left alone they sneaked a few kisses and cuddles before Kate and Steve returned, usually carrying soft drinks or hot chocola

I'd like to be able to blame chopping onions for not being able to see clearly but as I've not got any it's not that, It must be all of those emotional high points that flowed naturally in the story that are to blame. There a re a lot of positive points in this chapter, I'd like to think that you will keep them going but I'm getting used to the way you write and I know that there will be the low points too, that's not a bad thing it's called reality and keeps me wanting more. Thank you.

Orson's feelings are natural, determination to try to lead a normal life, frustration and anger when he comes across an obstacle in trying too do that and a degree of despair. It will be part of his journey to adapting and making the changes that he needs to make, but with his determination he can overcome most if not all of the obstacles in his way. I think he's found something to give him encouragement in the way that he has helped Jeremy and Mason, now he's showing concern for the kids that Jeremy is trying too help I think that could be key to helping him keep a positive mindset in his recovery. Meanwhile Clay is still being the scared caring father that he is and doing his best for his son and himself by keeping an open mind and trying to learn about something that knows little of. You're keeping the realism going that makes this brilliant read, now on to the next chapter.

I think I got those errors pointed out by @Marty, thanks again for pointing that out. Although it is a fictional story that reference should have been more accurate and I apologise to you and all of my readers.

Thank you @Marty for your comments they are appreciated. Marty thank you for pointing out that error, those references were meant to state Iraq as that part of The Ox's life is set during The Gulf War, I will correct that error very soon. There was a coalition force mainly involving and led by the USA military, the British were the main contributor of forces from Europe, with men from the SAS and other army divisions involved which may have included Military Intelligence. The Ox's involvement as a Military Intelligence officer and his unit would have been classed as covert operations and are fictional.

You may be right but I don't know, until there is some reliable research into it we will never know.

Unfortunately the same is true here in the UK and it's not something that us ordinary folk are proud of. I saw a post on facebook today that told of an 82 year old vet who had been evicted from the squat that he was reduced to living in, within hours he was found dead on the streets. This is something that is happening all too often, our politicians should be ashamed of themselves and held to account for it.

As the Corporal excused himself to go to the gents to freshen up Ox took out his handkerchief to dry his eyes. When the Corporal returned, Ox asked, “Are you okay son, or do you need a little more time before we set off?” “I’m alright Ox. Honestly, I’m fine. I needed to get that off my chest, and I feel better for saying it.” The Corporal tried to smile. “And if you really mean what you said, please call me Andy. My friends do and, if I’m to call you Ox, it would be fair.

Thank you @Marty for the comments, I've never considered myself a writer until coming on GA, all I can do is try my best so comments from other authors do mean a lot. There is a tale that gives us a clue as to who these young men are and it can be read in Lost Soul - The Ox it's a back story to The Major, part 1 has been posted and part 2 will be coming soon. JJ/Jason's situation does get sorted, but we will have to wait to find out how happy he will be with it. As for Bill well as I've said to others again we have to wait to find out, but we have all heard the saying 'what goes around comes around', so who knows?

Hi @Talo Segura thanks for the comments, it's always good to hear from you. Bill is not a nice character, he already has a past that we know of, he's been on the streets for a while and has become what we call 'street-wise' he knows a lot of dubious people. He's a bully who is determined to get what he wants, maybe 'karma' will play a part in his future.

It's a good idea in many ways but there are couple of problems with that, don't forget they are in hostel accommodation at present and it's a long process to her registered foster parents here in the UK. I think The Major just needed that extra push and the photo's that Christian had framed for him may have had something to do with it too, all will become clear in time.

The Major drank the last of his tea and placed his mug on the side table next to him. “I need to speak to John about my things, I hope he managed to keep everything safe for me.” “Pop you’ve nothing to worry about everything is here and in your room.” Ian considered his next words carefully. “Only Christian, yes everyone knows now and I’ll explain later, has touched any of your things and he has put them all in your room for you. If my guess is right he’s probably had them all cleaned and I

I could call you a lot of really bad things because you made me cry and it watered down my coffee, but I won't and I'll tell you why. It was another great chapter that contains so much emotion that it creates a connection between the reader and the characters, it's a real story that feels so real all I wanted to do was give Jeremy comfort as you would for a friend, he's suffered too much and needs all the friends that he thinks he doesn't deserve but he does. Thank you for another great chapter I'm eagerly awaiting the next instalment.