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Everything posted by 84Mags
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One of the aspects I most enjoy in your stories is the use of secondary characters to move along the plot line for the main characters using seemingly effortless and routine interactions. In this case, Joe Huard and the interviews with CJ and his coworkers (and Northman 🙄) not only cements what we know about CJ but gives us glimpses into his future.
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Sometimes things work out much differently than our internal monologue or expectations. Loren prepared for the worst, but reacted naturally to each situation whether it was intimately with Jay, cautiously with Jay’s mom, hilariously with the brothers, or compassionately with their fiancés. Perfect is in the eye of the beholder, especially when it comes to families. @Topnotchis right. Jay’s brothers stole this whole chapter! It was funny, well paced, informative, true to life, and flowed perfectly. I don’t live in Wisconsin, but do live in a Midwest subdivision smack dab in America’s small town heartland. And, there is a cow pasture directly across the street from our main entrance. …like I said, chapter is true to life.
- 59 comments
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Played like a blitz on third down
84Mags commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Played like a blitz on third down
Another chapter where everything feels right with the world. And, yes, I mean everything. My gut is that Lars isn’t a threat. My hope is that he is trying to find a way to reconnect with Loren and work through a tremendous amount of survivor’s guilt. And if you haven’t been christened by little boy pee then you haven’t been loved by a little boy. Many years ago while changing a diaper, my husband got it bullseye in the mouth from our son 😆🤣!- 96 comments
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“A defeated Northman shook his head and slunk away.” What an excellent way to start a Sunday morning!
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Ugh, Fernando! You write characters that instantly resonate with readers. And although the actual song has absolutely nothing to do with this Fernando, I now have that horrid Abba song stuck in my head. Thanks for that. 😫
- 48 comments
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Enjoying the here and now
84Mags commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Enjoying the here and now
The chapter is perfectly named. Being present in each and every moment of our life is hard, especially with the amount of high volume media input and how fast paced the world has become. Having awareness of the importance of living in the here and now, rather than for the future or stuck in our past can be difficult. When our lives become dictated by thoughts or emotions attached to what was or what might be, we miss what is. This chapter is all about celebrating the little joys, along with major achievements, in a mindful and focused way. Loren gratefully accepting Jay staying for Thanksgiving, Aiden being his best potato self, Matt and Seamus connecting with Loren, Jay and gang helping with the launch, Loren offering to help Seamus, Jay and Loren taking the next relationship step by discussing finances… and every other moment feels real and aware.- 55 comments
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Yes! I had to rush my comment a bit earlier today and could have worded it better. This chapter felt very much like a committed couple in it forever trying to privately work things out in front of the public eye. The suit, an olive branch, and Jay’s attendance the non verbal response. I’m someone who stews and can get prickly so I get how Loren might have let two weeks go by.
- 87 comments
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The last chapter elicited a lot of back and forth, taking sides with either Jay or Loren, and ultimately wondering how the resolution would pan out. While I’m sure there will be lots of comments about all that for this chapter, and about Jay’s turn about in staying for Thanksgiving and inviting Seamus, Matt and Aiden, that’s not the big take away for me. These two love each other. When you are in love you do things in spite of being mad. Loren sending the suit and ultimately the invite is a big deal. Jay showing up and smiling for the crowds is a big deal. Neither brought their divide public. They were a united front. Being in love and, more importantly, being committed means all of that. When my husband isn’t traveling for work he wakes me up every morning in the same exact gentle way he has done for decades. It doesn’t matter if we are fighting. Same. Gentle. Wake up. Jay and Loren are deeply, completely in love. They are committed. Now bring on Aido Potato!
- 87 comments
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I love every bit of this! Information through the eyes of a child is a great reminder of the legacy we are leaving. I have several family members who are passionate about saving the coral reefs and the measures being taken to do so. This story is well researched and timely.
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Really enjoyable chapter! What I love about your writing is the realism. The cadets’ banter and the trip were really well done. Many years ago my husband was an Army Company Commander in Germany. He sponsored a unit bus trip to Spain for the soldiers and any spouses who wished to attend. I found myself cackling as I remembered him and the First Sergeant checking the packing. One guy thought bringing a bar of soap and a pair of socks for the four day trip would be enough! Once the tour bus was loaded, the First Sergeant called the soldiers to order (Ah TEN Huhhhhh is how it sounds being shouted) and there were spouses being spilled to the floor and soldiers hitting their heads on the overhead bins! 😂 Thank you for bringing back some great memories. I’ll be smiling the rest of the day.
- 61 comments
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I hadn’t really thought about it that way, until this comment. I actually went back and reread my initial comment! I realized I wrote it like Jay screwed up, but in my mind it was a misunderstanding of who Loren has become. I completely agree that being right is absolutely not the issue. If someone has suffered a serious trauma it takes a lot of communication from both partners in a relationship. There will be issues that pop up and times they have to dig deep to resolve things. You are also right that the title says it all!
- 76 comments
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There is a lot to think about in this chapter. The lofty highs of Loren learning a bit about football, attending practice and games, firing up the crowd and galvanizing his online supporters, as well as the sexy as hell fun flirting between Jay and Loren, coupled with Loren nesting at Jay’s place, left an intense feel good sense of everything going in the right direction for Loren and Jay. Unfortunately, Jay just demonstrated that he doesn’t truly understand Loren’s past and who he has become. Loren is right, Jay didn’t offer meeting his family out of any other place than love, but Jay really did just admit that he perceives Loren as somehow broken. Loren’s response was both measured and appropriate, to include needing some time and a visit to his therapist. This probably felt like an emotional slap, however it’s more of a wake up call that Jay needs better insight into the healing Loren has accomplished. What’s particularly well done in this chapter is Issac probably spotting Lars and Loren’s reaction to that news. Through his actions and words, Loren let his friends know he’s ok and grounded in the present. He has strategies in place he uses when confronted with his past. He knows what he will do if he sees his brother and what would be necessary for them to form a relationship. Loren recognizes he will have times in his life that he has set backs. He has great support systems in place. His friends are the absolute best. Hopefully Jay will understand the significance of his misunderstanding. @kboisis right. Family means different things to different people. Blood doesn’t always define family, nor does it always mean the best relations. Families formed by choice are oftentimes the healthiest and best.
- 76 comments
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Honestly? Too many. But the pacing is great. Everything feels very real and true to life. It takes time to establish a committed relationship and unlock the key parts of the person you are with. The story is moving along perfectly!
- 68 comments
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Oh, I love this chapter! When the story first started and the number of chapters was mentioned, I admit to wondering about how that would be accomplished. But here we are with our guys figuring each other out a step at a time. Yes, there are missteps, but they work through them at the pace that seems right for their relationship. Their friends are entering their joined lives at the timing that’s best for Loren and Jay as a couple. Loren showing the totality of his work tempo to Jay is right in stride with where their relationship has progressed. Loren bringing up the double standard AND his feelings about Jay’s injuries is an important jog forward. Loren admitting to his hurt over Aiden being a typical toddler and ‘ignoring’ him is an amazing leap. The jokes about ‘are you proposing’ is an honest to goodness vault. Did I mention that I love this chapter?!
- 68 comments
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Well now, based on your reply to @chris191070, I’m gonna fixate on the new ways CJ is going to annoy Northman! 😉
- 75 comments
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That was fun! Calling Ritch ‘Chair Force’ will never get old! 😂I do have to wonder if we are getting closer to the Mexico Incident. I find myself sort of waiting for something to happen or clues to be inserted somewhere in the chapter.
- 75 comments
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I hope this doesn’t add to your confusion, but one thing I thought about when you initially asked for clarification a couple chapters ago, is that Jay has two sets of friend groups. He goes to the bars (in WA where both he and Loren live) with his football friends. The board members who are his college and lifelong best friends come to visit (from CO where they all live) or he goes to them or they vacation together (like Mexico). Loren’s friends are in WA with him.
- 57 comments
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I’ve commented a few times that Loren and Jay have the absolute best bro friends. This chapter further proves that good, solid friends having your back (and your front, and your insides…) is equally, if not more, important than therapy or mentorship. Isaac, Cole and Corey for the win in helping Loren deal with the panic. Sometimes the best way to process frightening emotions is out loud with those who love you most. Aido Potato has toddler game, in more ways than one!
- 57 comments
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Sweet of you to say, but honestly my comments are no more or less than others. I recently finished a story that will eventually be a three part series where I got so nerdy-engrossed in the plot that I literally printed out the map the author included. Then I kept going back rereading chapters, looking for clues, and commenting on my thoughts. Ugh! If there was a way to delete some of my paragraphs long, musing comments I would. For this story, everyone’s perspectives are interesting and engaging. Loren had a horrific childhood. He’s intelligent, resourceful, a survivor and someone we all can root for. Jay is dynamic, larger than life, and yet endearingly human in his approach.
- 87 comments
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We have somehow come to believe what the media has fed us; all abused children become dysfunctional adults, prone to violence and unspeakable crimes. While that may be true for some among us, most abused children emerge into adulthood forged from the ashes, especially if they’ve had the benefit of therapy. They are kindness personified, tentative for sure, but oftentimes exceptional parents and partners. Loren is most definitely a child whisperer. He will be a great uncle! He doesn’t know it, but he already is one. *Sneaky of Jay to bring up how communication is a two way street! 😉 I would add that it is a street filled with turn lanes, traffic signals, round abouts, twists, curves, oncoming traffic…you get the idea. Loved how Aiden can toddler worm his way into anyone’s heart! We need more of Aido Potato 🥔
- 87 comments
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A lot more of the past is unlocked and revealed! Violet and her soul’s reincarnations play an important role. Now that Dante is firm in his conviction to be with Tani, will they be able to overcome what lies ahead? I hope Dante’s determination pays off.
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So much going on in this excellent chapter! Dante reading his grandmother’s journal and learning of his joined lives and family links with Tani is an important step forward. So is Nora regaining the ability to speak all she knows. It is also important that Landi noted Dante’s power had grown, as had his empathy. I agree with @Danilo Syrtisabout Viola, Violetta, Violet. Surely there is a reincarnation link with that soul, but what is the purpose? I look forward to Dante seeing Tani at the Elderwood Conservancy.
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This was such a great building block chapter for CJ’s future. I have gone back recently to reread the other stories in this series, and the tie togethers are spot on. That’s hard to do but important. It enriches and makes everything real. Love Sir Kent. Still can’t stand Northman.
- 115 comments
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This is the type of story I’ve learned can keep me awake at night thinking, unless I wait to start reading towards the ending or after it is completely finished. Today was my time to marathon read this engrossing tale. I quickly tuned out distractions and felt whisked away to this new world. From beginning to satisfying ending I throughly enjoyed it! I’m so happy that Ned and Peter are together again and look forward to the promised coming sequel.
- 33 comments
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Yes! Such a great point. Part of why this chapter was so great is all the non verbals occurring. I smiled several times over Loren’s snappishness and Jay obviously ‘ignoring’ Loren’s mood with complete understanding.
- 60 comments
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