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Mawgrim

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Everything posted by Mawgrim

  1. Adoption isn’t something most people have to think about. This story opened my eyes to some issues I’d never even considered in a humorous and engaging way. There's an awful lot packed into this short story and it’s definitely worth a read.
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  2. Mawgrim

    Heritage Heretic

    An interesting and thought provoking story.
  3. Now that D'gar isn’t just a wing rider and has a position of importance at Benden, I’m sure he'll be involved with any meetings (or social occasions) attended by various Craftmasters, Lord Holders and the like.
  4. I have a few planned. It's getting round to writing them all that takes the time, though!
  5. Mawgrim

    Chapter 8

    What a cliffhanger!
  6. Thank you, both for the kind words and the review. And for suggesting that F'drun should perish in a volcano!
  7. Yes, I’d already written a couple of Hatching scenes from the points of view of the lads waiting to see if they'd Impress and this was another point of view, showing D'gar's concern for his prospective weyrlings.
  8. D’gar sat at his desk - the heavy, ancient desk in the Weyrlingmaster’s quarters - and wondered if his predecessors had found the job this difficult. He knew exactly what he wanted to do; design a training program with a good balance of theory and practice, building on existing skills and knowledge at each stage. However, getting the ideas out of his mind and onto hide wasn’t proving to be so easy. He sighed again and tried to decipher the former Weyrlingmaster’s notes. For a Harper, C’gan had t
  9. Mawgrim

    Chapter 26

    Another beautifully written chapter. The tranquillity of the afternoon lazing around, the humour after the meal and then a well-handled sexual initiation scene. Yes, there is an age difference (and remembering that back in the sixties and seventies there was far less social stigma regarding this) but there is no question that all concerned are consenting and happy with what they are doing.
  10. Mawgrim

    Chapter 6

    After reading the previous chapter I was thinking along the same lines as Fran, but I’m sure it’s not going to be that simple!
  11. There's a lot of emotion in this story and the sense that the past - and its hurts - are still very fresh in Addison's mind. I enjoyed the ending - there was a feeling that life could now begin to move on for both Tom and Addison.
  12. Mawgrim

    Wing Assessments

    Yes, there's a lot of overconfidence about fighting Thread at this point in their lives. They know -and have seen - that people and dragons die fighting Thread, but like many at that age, don't believe it can happen to them.
  13. Mawgrim

    Wing Assessments

    D'gar can see what they need to do, if only he can keep S'brin from losing it at the slightest thing. Quite a few of the weyrlings moving up suffer from overconfidence. That’s why the first couple of months in a Wing is so dangerous.
  14. Mawgrim

    Wing Assessments

    Turn’s End passed by. Loranth’s newest clutch took their places in the barracks. D’gar heard a couple of the lads from Suderoth’s clutch making the same sort of comments he’d done, wondering if their dragons had ever been that small, clumsy and noisy. By early spring, most of them were flying well. Even Gemalth was doing circuits of the Bowl, Zalna’s hair tucked under a flying cap. ‘Doesn’t she look great in wherhide?’ K’torl’s voice was full of admiration. ‘And just see them fly!’
  15. Mawgrim

    Barcarolle

    Oh no! Now they'll have to take off their clothes to dry out!
  16. Somehow I don’t think this was inadvertent. Funny though.
  17. Mawgrim

    Chapter 4

    Another chilling chapter.
  18. Mawgrim

    Revisions

    I was reading a blog entry by @Comicality the other day concerning revisions of old stories. It struck a note (and has an awesome example of revision in an iconic scene from 'Star Wars') as I have lately been digging out some of my old stories and re-reading them. Some of these things are so old they were printed out on a dot matrix printer (don't ask, kids) or even typewritten, complete with Tipp-Ex corrections. It's always interesting to read back your own work. Sometimes it makes you wince; could you really have constructed such a clunky sentence. Other times you think, 'that's not bad at all.' In a few cases, I decided to re-type the stories and found myself instinctively editing as I went along, not to the point that it changed the story arc, just editing out unnecessary purple prose and correcting punctuation and grammar mistakes from a time I knew no better. Occasionally I realised that a plot point could be made more obvious, or that the technology mentioned placed it firmly in the past, when really it could just as well be set in the present day with the addition of mobile phones and computers rather than landlines and newspapers. Of course, many of my stories of the cinema business are always going to have to be set pre-2010, as that was the fateful year when most cinemas changed over from film to digital projection, making thousands of projectionists redundant and projection boxes totally unmanned. Anyway, here is the first of my re-imagined and re-edited cinema stories, 'Wrong Rewards'.
  19. Mawgrim

    Wrong Rewards

    Rob knocked twice on the door of the manager’s office, waited for long enough to let Fitzgerald stash away his bottle of whisky, then went in. It was a dingy room, with walls stained brown from years of nicotine. Even though smoking indoors had been banned a while ago, it had never been redecorated and the aroma of ghostly cigarettes still lingered, together with the greasy redolence of many a takeaway supper. The walls were hung with faded film posters and framed publicity awards dating back to
  20. Mawgrim

    Wrong Rewards

    Rob thought he’d left his past behind, along with his former lover and his ambition. Now just a projectionist in a provincial town, when he hears that the company he used to work for has bought the cinema, he knows he will have to confront old ghosts.
  21. Mawgrim

    A Benden Rider

    You never know what that volcano will spit out. Toasted F'drun, anyone!
  22. Mawgrim

    A Benden Rider

    Yes, they definitely do in canon, later on, which is one reason why I wanted to show some of the ways things are wrong there from the start. Thanks for your comments.
  23. The Benden infirmary was becoming an all too familiar place. D’gar sat patiently as the healer examined him. He winced slightly whenever she hit a particularly tender spot. ‘You really do get yourself into the wars,’ she said. ‘But you’re right. There’s nothing broken. You won’t be feeling up to much for the next couple of days, though. I’ll give you some fellis to take for the pain and to help you sleep.’ She turned to H’rek. ‘Just two drops in a cup of wine should suffice. Don’t let him h
  24. Mawgrim

    Chapter 1

    Lots of information in this chapter. I’m wondering if Jaimee's mother is involved with the dodgy Shepherd Ministries.
  25. Mawgrim

    Prologue

    Strong opening chapter, intriguing enough to hook the reader. And killing a dog establishes the villains as truly evil!
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