Mawgrim

Yes, as R’feem said, D'gar tends to underestimate himself. Partly this is due to never getting any recognition as a weyrling. S'brin isn’t great at expressing his feelings in words. He has a way to go yet before he works out how to repair the relationship.

‘So, which one do you prefer?’ Naraina had pointed out the two vacant weyrs earlier. Having visited them, D’gar thought both were adequate, but he and Herebeth preferred the western facing one. It would catch the afternoon and evening sunshine on the ledge. ‘I’ll go for the western one, thanks.’ She nodded. ‘Good choice. When will your former weyrmate be moving?’ ‘I’m, er, not sure…’ ‘Only there’s a demand for double weyrs and it’s unfair to have one small green dragon taking

Brilliant ending to the story. All is well with Rick and Gus, Marta got away from her awful parents and the bad guys got exactly what they deserved. Not that it's good to hear anyone had a stroke, but I knew Heinrich Sr would react badly to knowing that he'd lost his millions and particularly in the way he’d been conned. Simon's parents sound very similar in outlook to Zoltan and Magda, in that they are trying to force their son into a mould of their own making. Glad he got some advice from Rick on the plane. Sigh! What have I got to look forward to on Thursday morning now...

This is a story about obsessive love for someone who will never return it fully and the depths to which a person can sink when their dreams are shattered. Dark but delightfully written.

Lovely chapter. The sex scene was good; it showed us more about the characters and how real life experiences differ from the porn we've all watched. The grandparents were as stuffy as expected!

Then came a more abstract – though no less important – comfort, as it dawned on me that for the first time since I could remember, I wasn’t lying by omission to everyone I loved. For the first time since I could remember, I felt fully me. Summed up so perfectly. Even though the moment when Lauti told his mother didn't feel amazingly special, this is so well worded to express that sense of relief you get when you realise you aren’t hiding a part of your inner being any longer.

I like the way all of the stories link in with each other.

I've really enjoyed reading this series of stories, showing the different issues gay teens can face. It's always amazed me that people can assume being gay is a choice. I particularly liked this story for the way that Carlos's family and the school had already figured it out and we’re just waiting for him to be true to himself and the way he was so determined to stand up for Jerry.

That’s looking very likely!

Thanks. It took me a while to get that dialogue to a point where I felt happy with it.

Over the past week, I've started working on another story. Several years ago I took part in NaNoWriMo when I was suffering from writer's block. It certainly did the trick, as I managed to write 52,000 words during the month of November. The story I'd planned out had lots of my favourite elements in it; cinemas, the supernatural, a mystery and romance. As I was writing it at a rate of about 1000-2000 words a day, it was rough in places and the ending was a bit rushed as I wanted to finish a complete story within the set time rather than just do a part of one. Still, as I read through it, I realised I had the core of something that could be tweaked, edited and made better. I'm now probably about two thirds of the way through the new, improved version of my as yet untitled 'Cinema Mystery Story'. Thought I'd post a couple of excerpts here to see if anyone has any comments. I'm hoping it's something people would enjoy reading. Excerpt One: Colin pointed at the time sheet, clipped to the wall above the viewing port. 'It's all on there.' 'Oh, right. Yes.' I was conscious of not doing very well so far. Perhaps it was best to tackle the root of the problem. 'Look, Colin, I know you applied for this job as well. I appreciate all the years you've been here and the experience you have. I hope we can work together as a team.' 'This your first chief's job?' he asked brusquely. 'Yes, it is.' 'Know how long I've been in the business?' 'A few years, I imagine.' 'Nearly forty of them, lad. That's a few more years than you've been alive, I'll wager.' 'Yes.' 'So don't go trying to tell me how to do my job.' His face was starting to get red. He'd obviously been bottling this lot up for a long time. 'I just said that I valued your experience. I mean that.' 'I've been doing the bloody chief's job here for the last few years, since Maurice started to go all forgetful. I covered for him. I did his bloody job, while he were getting the wage, and never complained, never said owt that would get him into bother...' Excerpt Two: Maurice shook his head. 'But it's not your concern. Forget it.' There was something here that wasn't just premature senility. Suddenly I remembered the card falling out of the pack. The High Priestess. A secret. Maurice knew the way up to the box, but then it had been a part of his life for many years. Old memories were always the last to go. He sat himself in the comfy chair and I put the kettle on to boil. There were other things I should be doing, but this might be - no, was - important. I might never get another chance to talk to him like this. 'This old well, Maurice. How long has it been there?' 'Years. Dated back to the old days, when the big house stood here.' 'The house that was here before they built the cinema?' 'That's right. Victorian, it was. All covered in ivy, my mum said. When she was a little girl, the children used to dare each other to climb over the wall. They said it was haunted.' 'Really?' 'Well, you know how kids are. It had been empty for a while and was falling down. Then the land was sold for development and the cinema went up.' 'And this well is under the cinema? Under screen three?' 'Yes. But don't tell anyone. I promised not to tell.' Excerpt Three: Cynthia looked me in the eye. 'You have been on a long and tiring journey. You've found what you sought. Trust what you've learned so far, using intuition and you won't go wrong.' For a few more moments I studied the cards. 'Spot on.' I said. 'I wanted to know if I should trust my intuition and I've just been given the answer.' Cynthia looked at the last card again. ‘You know, I’m getting another feeling about this knight. He’s an empathic person who might be your knight in shining armour. He’s riding in to sweep you off your feet.’ ‘Get off,’ I said. ‘There’s no romance on my horizon right now.’ ‘Are you sure about that? Maybe you should pick another card?’ ‘Well…’ ‘Go on. It’s not going to hurt.’ She fanned the remainder of the deck out again. I paused, hovering above them, then picked one, turning it over right away. I almost laughed out loud. It was the Two of Cups. The lover’s card. Cynthia smiled. ‘Something you aren’t telling me about?’

D’gar saw S’brin across the dining hall. Their eyes met. They walked towards each other. For a long, slow moment, neither of them said anything, then S’brin was the first to break the silence. ‘I’m really sorry, D’gar. I don’t know what came over me. Well, I do. I was proddy and unreasonable. I can see that now.’ Then he reached out his arms and D’gar stepped forward to be enfolded in that warm, comforting embrace. D’gar woke, feeling absurdly happy. Everything was going to be all right, af

I laughed out loud at the scene where Rick defends Gus from Zoltan with the plunger. So good to see Zoltan, Magda and Helene get their comeuppance. It was lovely that Gus showed Rick the sights and then took him back to his apartment. Might have known that Mrs Lee would be concerned about Rick. The gossips back in Eagle Lake must be on fire. I’m only sorry that there is just one chapter left. Thursday mornings won’t be quite the same again once this story is done.

Academics can be bitches. Glad the boys had some sound legal advice to keep them off the discovery and to make sure everyone had the credit that was due. The farm looks to be developing in the way they want, too. I’ve seen one of those horse drawn buses in a transport museum. It’s amazing how many passengers a team of horses could pull along.

Operation Butter Biscuit. Great name. Matt did some good work there and deserves his reward! Mike is so typical of someone who thinks they can take as much as they can. I wonder if he started off smaller and as he realised he wasn’t going to be found out, started filtering off more and more. In my experience, people who embezzle funds usually get caught when they get too greedy and something is noticed. In one company I worked for, a pair of managers got away with fiddling for about 14 years, all small stuff, and only got picked up when they began to increase the amounts and diversify their scams.

Envy is certainly a part of the other greens motivation. D'gar and S'brin are both young and like many couples who first get together in their teens, they are maturing emotionally at different rates. Add in S'brin being paired with a hormonal green dragon and there are bound to be problems. Up until now, D'gar has tended to just excuse S'brin's behaviour but things are going to change.

Really can’t figure out Aidan. I wouldn’t be surprised to find he's gay too. After all, two can lie about meeting girlfriends. It would be almost comical if they both met later having been stood up by fictionary 'girlfriends' and out for a drink with 'mates', who just happened to be in town.

I could really visualise the whole scene in the park. Pity about the homophobic twats, but that also gave a sense of realism to the story. Not every first date is perfect all the way through.

Great description of first date nerves. Liz is a kindly person.

Great that Jason managed to get a date. You have captured the awkward shyness of a teenager very well.

I’ve been thinking about the feedback discussion over the past day or so and I wonder if some readers (the ones who don’t write stories themselves) actually realise how strongly motivated writers can be by feedback. I remember someone once asking me how long it took me to write one particular story and when I told them almost two years they were gobsmacked. 'But it only took me two hours to read it,' they said. 'I didn't realise it took that much longer to write something than it does to read it.' Maybe that's one of the reasons people don't appreciate how much we writers like acknowledgement - they simply don't realise how much hard work goes into producing something that can be devoured in a relatively short space of time.

Great chapter. Matt did the best thing he could have done by firstly talking to his dad and then to Seamus. Lack of communication, or two people thinking they know what's going on in each other’s heads without having it confirmed an be a recipe for disaster. Mike could very well be siphoning off some of the money out of a misguided feeling of loyalty to Kelly.

S'brin is really showing his emotional immaturity the moment and probably taking too much notice of some of the other green riders in the Wing.

D’gar woke with a pounding head. They’d sat out by the lake for a long time, drinking steadily. At some point, M’rell had gone to fetch more alcohol. He’d stayed, staring at the water, illuminated by the light of Timor, which was just sinking below the rim of the Bowl. The light had steadily faded until there was nothing left but blackness. He’d thought it seemed very symbolic. Dark and empty, like his life. Then M’rell had returned with a skin of wine. ‘Shouldn’t mix wine and ale,’ he’d pr

Wow! I was on edge during the whole drive to Chicago. Who needs high speed car chases when the tension can ratchet up just as effectively at a crawl? Marta is a quick thinking girl. I really hope she manages to see Jared again. Her parents are hideous human beings, obviously worried they will lose control of Gus and his earning ability. Loved the way Rick's growing confidence is helping him to take control. And it must have boosted him immensely to hear Gus saying he was 'a wonderful man'. The stage is set for the big showdown. Can't wait to see what happens next.