CincyKris
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Everything posted by CincyKris
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The most surprising thing to me was the lack of contact between Kieran and his family in this modern age of technology. I guess the isolation from his parents isn't too surprising, they seem a bit cold and not very close to him. But what about Toby? Has Kieran bothered calling him? Communication is a two-way street. And has Kieran bothered calling Charlie? He probably feels completely abandoned.
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Mickey and Drew make an amazing team! Working so hard for what they want makes it more valuable. This house will be treasured and loved, but not like a valuable art vase on a podium. It will be banged up, battered, and lived in. The house is becoming a character in your story.
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Paddy was orchestrating Robert's side trip so he could save Alfie's soul, but it sounds like Paddy is trying to save Robert as well. Wonderful!
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It seems that Mike must be feeling guilty, hopefully ashamed of his actions. While that doesn't help Gray feel better about himself, Mike's absence is giving Gray a chance to shine. It would seem that Rafael reported Tom's comments, so that makes him even more likely to be the texter. And his showing off for Gray leads me to think he likes him.
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The boys (old and young) had carefree fun. While Jackie's oppressive spectre is ever present, it lurked silently in the background, ignored for a short time.
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My opinion of Max is still on the rise, I hope Roman is the person Max needs him to be. But now, I need you to write a story for Tara. Seriously, we need her to find her person! Will it be Sloane? Is she good enough for our Tara?
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I thought that Drew's sister was the egg donor, not the surrogate? I could be wrong. Regarding terms of endearment, if the French call loved ones "little cabbage" and Germans "love cake horse" or "cuddle bear", babe really doesn't seem too bad. I think that the graduation meant the most to Mickey's mom. She's been through a lot and this was a big symbolic moment for her.
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This was a pivotal chapter in some ways. Gray unwittingly outed himself, he has created a new enemy and a new friend (?), perhaps our texter. His confrontation with Mike had quite an effect on Mike, guilt? But the written story led to the readers' very entertaining behind the scenes stories. @Summerabbacat has written a soap opera fanfic! We have dad all figured out from a couple lines! This is a fun story to read.
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I found myself unsympathetic to Max in the first part of this chapter. After all, he had his chance and broke Sam's heart. I finished much more sympathetic, even though the circumstances hadn't changed. As heart breaking as Max's rejection was, it ended up releasing Sam and allowing him to find Ben. I don't think Sam would be alive if it weren't for Max. I look forward to his relationship with Roman.
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Wandering hands and risqué pictures
CincyKris commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Wandering hands and risqué pictures
Who would have thought that Therese would have turned into a positive character, certainly not @Summerabbacat! -
I loved the ending, it was full of obstacles, appropriately for these two. I liked the garage sale puzzle reference. I think their puzzle picture will be Sofia's hallway of family photos, never truly finished.
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I look forward to the journal, I hope it's still there. Robert can now look for Patrick through his friend, hopefully news about Paddy will help to convince Alfie he is a ghost. I don't think he'll move on without this awareness.
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It's been so long since I've read this, I don't remember all the details (except for a sad one that made me cry), but I think we have a mix of idyllic and realistic. I don't think I'm giving away any big spoilers by saying that this is the house. I enjoyed this mid-story transitional chapter. Our characters are leaving the old behind and putting their plans into action. I can feel their impatience and optimism with this line: “Let’s pack the car before the ceremonies so that we’re ready to go.”
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Chapter 1: The Last Potter in the Village
CincyKris commented on Gary L's story chapter in Chapter 1: The Last Potter in the Village
I read this before work and had no time to comment. The writing was excellent, the story was engaging, and you left us wanting more. I'd say it was a great debut! I think the pottery will soon lose all the cheap tourist crap and be filled with beautiful artsy pieces. -
His mom was loving and supportive, hopefully dad will take it well. He needs to talk to his gay uncle and tell him what happened. Things are looking up, work is going to be tense. I wonder who the mystery text came from? How did he get his number?
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So much parenting advice in this chapter, both from characters and readers. At opposite ends of the spectrum we have Ludo telling Damian to "remember the good times and not focus on the nasties", then we have @Summerabbacat suggesting Damian should verbally excoriate his mother and release all his anger. I don't think that Ludo's approach is working, but I'm not sure Damian is ready for the full on slash and burn approach. I think that some therapy and gently forced socialization are good suggestions.
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I'm happy that Robert is not freaking out upon figuring out that Alfie is a ghost. I wonder if Robert has a great grandpa named Patrick? He was meant to be where he is, I think another visit is assured.
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Mickey is in a very different place than most new lawyers, his priorities do not include making as much money as humanly possible and climbing over his co-workers (competitors) to make partner in record time. But, as pervasive as that stereotype is, I think there are many firms that don't have that culture. My knowledge of law firms is entirely derived from books, TV, and movies, but I think it is exceedingly rare for any profession to only exist at one extreme. I think that Mickey is talented enough to hold out for a better fit, and he appears to have found it.
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I have a feeling the Latouche's have heard of Alfie before, surely Robert is not the first to have seen him in over a hundred years. I wonder if the original Latouche was the current one's father? I'm loving this story!
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Gray is in processing mode, I'm also surprised he thought to take pictures of the visible proof of his assault. After the showers, any physical evidence is gone, but if someone else reports Shane (I have no doubt he has done this before and will do it again), Gray may be able to corroborate their claim. He needs a friend to talk to, he feels alone. Regarding the "chips and gravy", I think this is fries and gravy. Australians call ketchup "sauce", so I think gravy is gravy, like Canadians have fries with cheese and gravy (poutine).
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I missed the notification for the first chapter, but I felt as if I were opening an early Christmas present this morning! Wonderfully expressive writing, as always. I look forward to meeting our handsome, young ghost with beautiful eyes.
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School Issues & Date Night
CincyKris commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in School Issues & Date Night
I think that conservative hardline denominations are "cafeteria Christians", they literally pick and choose only the passages that support their views, ignoring the ones they do not choose to follow. The old testament has plenty of fodder for the hypocrites. I wonder if Michael was dressed in more than one fabric? Is his lunch "approved" by the same passage? However, I wouldn't be too upset if Jackie were stoned! -
This was sexual assault, the type that rarely gets reported or prosecuted, by either sex. Animal is a predator and Mike is an enabler, a co-conspirator. Was Mike once in Gray's position? It doesn't excuse his behavior but it might help explain it. I have a feeling that Gray will have long-term effects from this night.
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Pictures and Plans, Beer and Bangers
CincyKris commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Pictures and Plans, Beer and Bangers
Ralph and Nolan had a fun date night, important since they did very little proper dating before the move in. Can't wait for the big party! I wonder if Ares will be doing the security for it? -
Keeping going, keeping on
CincyKris commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Keeping going, keeping on
While I am personally much more like @Summerabbacat, and prone to revenge fantasies and holding a grudge against someone who had hurt me so much, my sweet mother is more kind hearted. She would probably think like Ludo. The wonderful night out was in stark contrast to the interrogation. I think the jerk (I'm being kind), was purposefully using repetition to stress and exhaust Ludo, with the intention of tripping him up. Fortunately Ludo has truth on his side, if he were hiding something it probably would have uncovered it. Hopefully the SFO agrees and finally believes Ludo is being honest.
