Arran

You hooked me and set the hook. Now let’s see if you can reel me in. Great first chapter, Ethan!

What did I think of this chapter? I thoroughly enjoyed it. The more I learn about Lautaro, the more I like him. Even if he sometimes says things like he doesn’t mean them. I really liked the dialog between Lautaro and Valentín; it flowed well and sounded like the kind of dialog that two awkward seventeen/eighteen-year-olds beginning to discover one another might have. And the chapter was an important transition in the story. Lautaro goes from sounding like a hopeless zombie in the beginning to sounding like a hopeful Romantic at the end, despite whatever is going on with Noah. And speaking of Noah, he is an enigma all his own. I wonder what he said to Coral “Reef” at her party. Could it have been that he had confessed that he had feelings for Lautaro? That’s my guess since it totally changed Coral’s mood to the point that she wanted him to leave. Could Noah’s attitude at the end be that he sensed what might be on his friend’s mind and he didn’t want to have to confront it? As Sherlock Holmes would say: the game is afoot! I expect this is a very good story in the making. Very good chapter, gor mu.

I thought that Valentin had a chip on his shoulder but it’s obviously deeper than that; he’s a very troubled guy and I can begin to see why. I’m sure he wouldn’t have done that had he been sober. Could he have crush on Lautaro and refuses to face up to it except when he’s drunk and can’t help himself? I liked Lautaro’s reaction: That really just happened? I didn’t make it to the club that night. Nice chapter ending. We can’t wait to see what follows. Of course, Valentin will play it off as nothing. I just realized that one more letter and his name would be Valentine. Coincidence?

Good, because this story needs an end now that you’ve begun. Look forward to more. Thanks, Gor mu.

Brian needs to go to bat for Jonah. Management is looking for a convenient solution and the best solution is to simply address the problem, and the problem is Brian, not Jonah. Brian is the responsible person here. If he really cares about Jonah, then don’t hang him out to dry as suggested.

Don’t you mean Jonah? Gabriel is the author. I get it, though, and I agree.

I was surprised that Robbie didn’t give his brother a heads up about Daniel’s father’s behavior regarding his girlfriend being Thai. He should have been warned. I was also surprised that Daniel confided to Robbie that he nearly gave in to Nathan’s charm. That Don is a racist didn’t surprise me at all. Just another of his less than exemplary character traits. Good chapter, Dodger. Please follow up soon! Didn’t expect the cliffhanger.

I think she is. Could this be the makings for a spinoff? Another good chapter, Dodger. Still pulling for Robbie and Nathan. It would be good for them since they’re both mavericks—and it would fry Don.

Good chapter. I question the pastor’s motives. Why is he focused so intently on Robbie?

Sue hit the nail on the head when she called Robbie petulant. It is how he’s been throughout the story. He has no respect for Don, yet he takes it out on Sue who he knows is a victim in this too. I think the only head that he has ever used in this story is the little one, and it might just have gotten him into a lot more trouble than he could ever have imagined. Children conceiving children… I can’t imagine how he is going to handle Stephanie’s news. Petulantly, I imagine.

I’m not so sure about that. I don’t think that Corbin is capable of maintaining a monogamous relationship with anyone. Plus, his ambitions are more important to him than any relationship. I think Pete would do better in any relationship that doesn’t include Corbin. Still, I look forward to the meeting; however, “I owe you a conversation. We owe that to each other” doesn’t sound very promising. Good chapter, though, Jon. I look forward to the next one.

I agree. This chapter (2) pushed too much too soon.

Good beginning, enough to spark my interest. A few ghosts remain from your editing, though. Thanks.

I’m truly sorry to hear that, Gabriel. I hope you’re feeling better, in both respects. And I hope that you are able to fully recover from the illness. Heal first. We can wait. Covid?

Yes, it’s been too long. Hope to see more of this in the months to come. Brian‘s had a big turn around in attitude since the last chapter. Less wary. Thanks for the chapter.

Another good chapter, Dodger. There are so many loose ends to tie up I don’t see an end coming too soon. And even more loose ends coming! I’m still pulling for Robbie and Nathan, though. This chapter has been all about Robbie risking a lot to defend him. And Nicola a lot by coming to their rescue as well.

“You’ll see when we get to The Homestead,” Chip replied. I can’t wait until the next chapter. Corbin is always scheming… And what if Pete were to choose him? Will it really make a difference? Pete will have conditions too, you know. Is Pete really that valuable to him? I would tend to think not. David, on the other hand, comes with no conditions, yet. And what about Chip? Will he become another sexual chapter in Corbin’s life? I think Pete would be better off to leave Corbin waiting indefinitely. I guess I just don’t see a future for Corbin with Pete in it. Kind of sad really. 🙁 Great chapter, Jon.

And let’s not forget Milo and Camp Echo by Talo. Both are very good reading.

Thank you Very much for the kind words, LD. I just noticed your comment or I would have replied earlier.

I’ve learned by now that I don’t know what to expect from you, Dodger, so I’m just going to hang in there and impatiently await the “disturbing discovery.” Please hurry though. Another good chapter.

Okay, so Dodger loved this comment… What does that mean???

Of JKW’s stories that I’ve read (I haven’t read Aiden YET), String is his best. While it is stand-alone, reading W.A.R. helps to put it in perspective. Talo Segura pretty much says it all, so no sense reinventing the wheel. Just read the story and you will be glad that you did. And read the chapter discussions, too, because they add even more to the story. I see JKW becoming a GA Classic Author because he is a classic author!

WAR was a very moody story and quite often dark and sad. String isn’t like that. I think it was very upbeat in comparison. After the last chapter, it was good that this one was brief. I really like how you centered it around a sunrise. Bright and up lifting. That it was fun to write is why it was so successful in my opinion. Thank you again for a marvelous ride!

Okay, this answers my question about dearpeter. It’s nice that you feel that way about your friend Peter. In the next chapter there were a few lines where I couldn’t figure out which of the boys was talking. I agree with avoiding he/she said for better flow. Maybe in confusing dialogues you could lead into the dialogue with: Harry gazed at Alex. “That was nice.” That way we know that Harry is doing the talking. Just a suggestion.