peter rietbergen
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Everything posted by peter rietbergen
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Secrets in secrets in secrets, riddles in riddles in riddles. Lovely.
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Before We Say ‘I Do’
peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in Before We Say ‘I Do’
Actually, and despite my admiration for the learned discussion(s) above, I feel that the story really hinges on the non-converdation(s) between L and A - certainly in "the present" - and the question whether it is believable that two men in their late twenties/early thirties have allowed themselves - for more than 8 years! - to not address issues that, as the author wants us to accept, were/are vital to their lives. -
Chapter 4 - Chance Meeting
peter rietbergen commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 4 - Chance Meeting
I must admit to some doubts about believing this tale (though it is well-written). Would I - would anyone, really - accept that someone whom you've met once and hardly talked to then appears in your life and asks such intimate questions? And why would R always "report back" to M about how great H and C are, individually, and as a couple? -
The question is: if the dominator turns lover, what happens to power-structure?
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Given that my country is now covered in snow and people are struggling to either decide to move, or stay at home, I fully connect with these two. It'll love seeing how your one day-snow-tale develops...
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Chapter 4 - Chance Meeting
peter rietbergen commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 4 - Chance Meeting
The first paragraphs of this chapter repeat H's thoughts expounded in the previous one. And Maya's email- answer repeats hers in the previous chapter, too. And why doesn't she ask H why he insists on knowing more about R? She must note his unease? And, apologising for the criticism: why do you "mar" a promising story with asides that warn your readers about what is going to happen? We already see that clouds are coming, and don't need these warnings. -
Chapter 3 - Party Time
peter rietbergen commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 3 - Party Time
There is a paragraph in this chapter that repeats itself. -
Yrs, this is an excellent chapter. Not, I will admit, because of the (for me: over-)long sex-scene. But definitely for what came after: revelatory confessions that both stabilize and Imperial the relationship.
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The unlikely and yet likeable threesome are/is an awesome invention. The emotional, far more than sexual, complexity of domination /possession /submissiveness - obvious in each one! - becomes ever more visible.
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Before We Say ‘I Do’
peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in Before We Say ‘I Do’
Two points. First, I find it hard to accept the author's sketch of Brad, i.e. that l he, ever impulsive, demanding, egocentric, could have hidden his feelings and anxieties for so many years. Secondly, I find Lynton hard to believe, for different reasons. He may have crushed on Br. but he was and, or so the author "writes" him, still is either naive or spineless, or both. -
Before We Say ‘I Do’
peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in Before We Say ‘I Do’
But of course Luke told Bella. Otherwise the story wouldn't move. -
This really is as good a story as they come. And it should simply remain as it is
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Thank god for mothers who understand, and accept...
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So we now have watched happening what we knew from line one would happen. But the ride was nice...
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The symbolism of the crack in the ice and the water swelling upwards... And then the coupling....
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A smooth transition, emotionally and materially. Convincing, though. So it works, in the context of this tale.
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"Quit Playing Around, Arizona"
peter rietbergen commented on Nuno R.F.C.R's story chapter in "Quit Playing Around, Arizona"
My sartorial innocence: No shirt. Chest open. I don't understand that. But I'm not that innocent that I do not see the problem coming up: Liam will be furious if his anonimity is broken and his gayness revealed. He'll blame "Arizona". -
[Memory, Senior Year, March] – You’ll Never Be Alone
peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in [Memory, Senior Year, March] – You’ll Never Be Alone
Something is wrong, here. First L is incredulous when B tells him mhe knows about A's dick-size because he caught him masturbating. Then L says that B told him about A's dick-size in their freshman year. -
Chapter 11: Will Julian go back to his life?
peter rietbergen commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 11: Will Julian go back to his life?
In my humble opinion J is too unforgiving if his father. -
A man who has my heart. Fondly. Yes, this story!
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Excellent again . Enthralling, even.
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Yes. The Higgins boys. I love the Keeper of the Narrative. A story tool turned human. And the Comforter, he with the flaky pastry. The letter tells us what A and we need to know. This is a lovely chapter.
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Well, as far as I can read T did never say he followed Granny southward. So yes, this may be his excuse to not commit. As to the two of them becoming snow-birds together: please, they're young men. In a farming village. Not posh city dwellers who can afford such month-long vacations.
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Aren't we "over-thinking" a story that, to me, seems basically about psycho-physical needs between Masters and Servants?
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I know about Canadian winters, and what people do to escape them. But isn't the problem here that T is not "alone" anymore? If you're a "thing", you decide on such seasonal migrations together...And in this case T is the co-heir, and shouldn't shirk his responsibility. But here I am doing what I promise myself never to do: trying to decide for fictive characters. Silly, stupid me.
