peter rietbergen
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Everything posted by peter rietbergen
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Whereas, in K's bookshop, the Lee Child-books are mostly boring - or so I think -, this chapter definitely was not. And no, I do not mean the sex. When people who love one another acknowledge the disparity of their dreams it is a huge thing. I'm glad you included that 'theme' in your tale.
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Ah, so you decided meticulously to describe every single detail of the real, physical body except for the 'treasure', and then hide it in a symbolic minefield...? Well, it is a choice... But shouldn't the real cleansing of the 'treasure' have been the center of this 'germ destruction', in this almost anthropologcally-analysed puritication ritual?
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Interesting and, sometimes, convincing as this story is - as well as funny, often - I yet cannot imagine any fourteen-year old ever articulating his feelings in this way. Not even one who's supposed to be a "genius", whatever that may mean.
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Maybe it is my lack of knowledge of the male anatomy, or is Kenny missing part of it?
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Simple, and convincing! Well done.
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One word: Bravo. A veritable "tour-de-force". But yet... It seems, at least to me, that, emotionally-logically, part of the conversation between Jackson and his mother doesn't belong five years after he and Blake parted...
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Even though it was my feedback - it is your auctorial genius! You prevented disastrous developments for and between your protagonists, and saved "Merrickville" - no mean feat...😀
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a very clever and amusing solution to a problem the author set his characters - and himself...?
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Idyllic? Yes. Lust? Yes. But love...?
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Monday madness & Kjell is annoyed again
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Monday madness & Kjell is annoyed again
Indeed: "and when was fiunding not?". It's a real pain in the ass, but increasingly the one thing that keeps "culture" afloat is, precisely, buttering up to those who have the money, whilst not caring whether they have "taste" or not...And, actually, was it ever not so? Did the Gonzaga, paying for the staging of the first performance of what came to be known as "opera", like music, or simply wanted to impresss their colleague-princelings?- 13 comments
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Alas, there's no M/M version of these old Hollywood Noir/Comedies...😃
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Useless Corrections
peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in Useless Corrections
Even if/when we know what "happened", it does 't matter (anymore). We know - have known from the first chapter, really... .- that Lynton and Alexander are "best friends". Actually, though weve been led to believe otherwise in this tale, we always knew that L knew Brad was (has been) a crush, only. Indeed, a physical crush, only, rather than a really emotional/intellectual one.- 46 comments
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"Atonement (Part 3)"
peter rietbergen commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in "Atonement (Part 3)"
External, read, also eternal ... -
"Atonement (Part 3)"
peter rietbergen commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in "Atonement (Part 3)"
It seems Cane has a ' practical' solution to the three-togetherness. I'm all for it. But will it work? How long can B and J hit the road? And, underlying: will they, eventually forced to actually live together, be able to "love" on an equal footing - the external problem of to share of not to share (aka as jealousy, insecurity et cetera) in a poly-amourous context. -
"Atonement (Part 3)"
peter rietbergen commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in "Atonement (Part 3)"
Decision should be: delusion. I hate these typing devices. -
"Atonement (Part 3)"
peter rietbergen commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in "Atonement (Part 3)"
One might argue that both J and S are right in their analysis, but neither will help create a situation that allows three men - specifically these three men, in this part of the USofA - to actually share a real life, rather than a fairy tale-one in some sort of "happy end"/"they lived happily ever after"-fashion. If the author, after the splendid job he did with this story, yet opts for one, he does himself short, or so I feel...If not, the promise suggested in this chapter is, for all three if them, a decision. Does that mean that - Miss Daisy's wisdom and wishes notwithstanding - this is a tragedy after all?- 38 comments
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Ah, but the proof of the pudding... Many such thesis-statements I've read and decided: balderdash... But of simply using a button make's you happy, I'll consider using it😃
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Ah, recommendations: you don't really need them. Or do you? Kenny frantically taking notes? Of what? Blake W hasn't said anything note-worthy yet. And Kenny cannot at the same time be hatching plots with the boy G. Moreover: BW doesn't know about Steve's money-laundering enterprises. Or does he? But please go on. Though I dare you to actually share with us the 3000-word paper, because I simply don't believe I'll accept its "thesis"...
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Moving Saturday & sexy knickers
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Moving Saturday & sexy knickers
Iverson's, of course. Thus, RH creates his gay-verse...😃 -
Another impressive chapter, with several significant moments. Thank you.
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It seems you had as much of an "Education" as you gave him. But, obviously, it was worth it. Yet I hope the bear didn't temain your son's partner: it might have been a tad too difficult to treat him as Jake's Bfr, while he might also have been your friend: a mix too complicated emotionally? And yes, some parents can, and indeed do neglect their children. But usually not if they love them, as your fictional ones clearly do their fictional son...
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Delightful though this all is, I do not believe any mother would accept that her son lives in a stinking, germ-infested, unhealthy pig-sty.
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Chapter 2: Let the game begin!
peter rietbergen commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 2: Let the game begin!
An interesting premise. Definitely readable, too. But yet a few things seem less than likely. First, for any kind of "conspiracy" to succeed, surely conspirators think up a common narrative to convince the world. These two seem to have been more than a little naive not preparing a convincing background tale. Secondly, on arrival at the resort, any person with even a modicum of manners would have introduced his new companion before starting conversations with the rest of the group. Thirdly, since the "Cruel Father" needs to be won over, it would have made sense to actually introduce the Fake Boyfriend to him. And last but not least: why does the Mother even accept a Queen Bee to dominate the scene? In short, the story could be more believable than it is, now. -
...the essence of warm longing... how can someone who sees that not know what it means?
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