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peter rietbergen

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Everything posted by peter rietbergen

  1. peter rietbergen
    It is, increasingly, a clever, nay: very good mixture of The Canterbury Tales, the Decameron, set into a series of scenes with/of an almost cinematographic quality.
  2. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 13

    peter rietbergen commented on irivera's story chapter in Chapter 13

    I'm glad the sex scene is as it is. So many authors decide they need to be detailedly graphic, and then take pages to do so, with every spasm, every drop, every: "Fuck, of fuck"... It reduces at least this reader to a state of utter boredom... Keep to your own style, describe feelings, rather than actions, and I'll keep following you.
  3. peter rietbergen

    Nightmare

    peter rietbergen commented on GENERAL PIGNOUF's story chapter in Nightmare

    there is a piece of text that is repeated, somewhere on the last pages. And correcting the typos would be useful...
  4. peter rietbergen
    Cleverly constructed, Ph: the Priest's question will allow you to extend the Bard's tale into any number of bawdy episodes, and will probably take us into any number of 'willing holes'.......
  5. peter rietbergen
    your command of words, pharses, situations is, really, a joy. As to the story; of course I'll continue to enjoy it, too.
  6. peter rietbergen
    well done, again. The prickliness in the conversation between B and D. But also: the slowly-growing acceptance of new realities.
  7. peter rietbergen
    Dame Maggie? Rowena, of course.
  8. peter rietbergen

    Glad Tidings

    peter rietbergen commented on northie's story chapter in Glad Tidings

    I've only discovered this story a week ago. But I really need to say: Bravo. It manages to address a number of problems that, even in 2025 - especially in 2025? - are troubling our society and specifically the elderly, the almost-poor. It also manages to introduce a feel good-"vibe", without which the tale might have become a tract of sorts. And yes, this chapter was particularly good - a Christmas-story that works....
  9. peter rietbergen
    Why an "asshat"? A good teacher knows what the difficulties of his subject are, and warns his pupils accordingly. Honesty and fairness go together. I grant you; maybe your schoolboard should have advised your teacher to show a little psychologal insight, and be a little bit more encouraging - but being too optimistich doesn't help. And firing a teacher for being honest is, simply, stupid.
  10. peter rietbergen
    A truly delightful chapter. Could have been straight out of Barbara Pym and her likes - but your pen is sharper, and the result that little bit more acerbic that makes it stand out.
  11. peter rietbergen

    Why Pride?

    peter rietbergen commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in Why Pride?

    an entire world, encapsulated in so few words. Bravo.
  12. peter rietbergen

    The Answer

    peter rietbergen commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in The Answer

    I've come late to this story. But it seems as if it has been waiting for me. It is, really, a gem: the psycology, the built-up, the wording. Thank you so much.
  13. peter rietbergen
    First, Mark's eyes were grey. Now they are baby-blue....
  14. peter rietbergen
    A male mistress... Perhaps: a "minion", or a "paramour".
  15. peter rietbergen
    I forgot that the threes are, really, the three+two's...
  16. peter rietbergen
    dear Robert, between the threes between the trees, and the - perhaps - six between the towers and the marshes, you really are doing a fine job in touching upon a fair number of the many problems gay-ness (still) entails. Again: bravo !
  17. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 7

    peter rietbergen commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 7

    it is a good story, but again: sometimes the "I "suddenly becomes Jim. And back again. And sometimes Jon answers Jon. And sometimes Jon even seems to speak Jim's lines....
  18. peter rietbergen

    Visitors!

    peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Visitors!

    Simply love it! Thanks.
  19. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 6

    peter rietbergen commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 6

    after a few pages, there is a strange, simply not-working change of POV, from Ii to: Jim. And when Jon introduces his once-significant other, the use of "they" simply is not working, either. Acually, I don't think anyone would ever use that pronoun for a person really important to him, or her....
  20. peter rietbergen
    alas: size DOES matter....
  21. peter rietbergen
    I'm not one to speculate on what's going to happen - it's the author's choice. But knowing him, I'm sure we'll be satisfied. Or, to be less inclusive: for me this story "works".
  22. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 12

    peter rietbergen commented on irivera's story chapter in Chapter 12

    Interesting... But yet: given that these kis are supposed to be smart, it seems strange they didn't take pics - which, obviously, they could easily have done. Why would "June" believe them when they tell her her BF is cheating on her? Jonah has as much reason to make things up as V does.
  23. peter rietbergen
    Hot, yes. But yet I can't quite follow, psychologically: the (almost gentle) Brandon who now definitely "needs" Tyler doesn't seem the same brusque, closed (and stinking...) person who was introduced to us in the previous chapter.
  24. peter rietbergen

    Never Enough

    peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in Never Enough

    I must admit I find the conversations more interesting than the sex....
  25. peter rietbergen
    Sorry for the repeat - something's wrong with the/my system... As to: besom. It is: broom (Dutch: bezem) and thus refers to witch which, albeit wrongly, is often equalled with bitch...
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