peter rietbergen
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Everything posted by peter rietbergen
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Interesting, but as to the psychology of the tale: perhaps not entuirely convincing. I am not sure I "like" the rather stereotyped image of a gay bar as a cage full of predators and a den of inquity. Most aren't. To understand why Creek would think so, we, the readers, would probably need to know more about his background. Also, I wonder whether Creek's conversion - for that it is, or at least seems to be - is all that believable: isn't it, precisely given his earlier thoughts, too fast? As for Dailan - why would being gay have made his life easier?
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Definitely a well-told tale!
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"Love" at first glance...? really.... Lust, obviously.
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Nature Reserve – 24 December
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Nature Reserve – 24 December
“Mum’s plum bread. Can’t beat it. Hope you like some.” Another gay man walking in a nature reserve with a gay man whose mother bakes bread... Why do I never meet such..?.- 9 comments
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I really DO like K's adventures. But sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't even like them more without the supernatural elements😊....
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A truly lovely invention.
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Perhaps "enjoying" isn't what I did reading this part of the story. But devastating as it is, it also is one of the best episodes you've ever written.
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Chapter 8: The day after!
peter rietbergen commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 8: The day after!
"The whole scene could’ve been straight out of a chaotic romantic comedy...". YES, that is a good one, also because it aptly characterises this entire story. "Little did he know, it was the calm before the storm...." NO, that is, simply, lame. -
Definitely interesting.
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Luke's "dearly beloved"-piece was absolutely hilarious. But, but: the mid-tale cliffhanger about that fatal night night years ago simply isn't logical. If you write about a person's thoughts you cannot pretend they're not there in their entirety
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"Happy Birthday, Nora"
peter rietbergen commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in "Happy Birthday, Nora"
(re-)reading some of the above comments, i must confess I'm - well, not shocked but yes: surprised about the apparent liking of some fellow-readers of Malik's sizeable but, definitely, not 'average' appendix. Is that really such a pleasurable quality in a lover - for men and women alike? I actually doubt it. Can't we do without such verbal "Tom of Finland' images? 😀 -
Promising....
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Absolutely wonderfully heart-rending.
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Chapter 7: The party. What could go wrong?
peter rietbergen commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 7: The party. What could go wrong?
I still like the tale - but please: leave out the: impossibly handsome men, the perfectly tailored suits, the slightly unbuttoned silk shirts and the effortless charm. You do not need these tropes to drive your story forward. -
Chapter 6: A Heart Unspoken!
peter rietbergen commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 6: A Heart Unspoken!
But let me nuance that 'prediction'. The author will have some work to do if he wants to convince us that after the denouement of Harry's plot Zayn will easily turn to River. -
Chapter 6: A Heart Unspoken!
peter rietbergen commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 6: A Heart Unspoken!
Of course we know that all's well that ends well, as will happen here, too. But the way thither is interesting enough. -
Captain America - Alex & Max
peter rietbergen commented on Celian's story chapter in Captain America - Alex & Max
This really is a very non-emotional end yet very emotional description of a painful past and its consequences in the present. Well done indeed. -
Friends, family & future plans
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Friends, family & future plans
ah, yes. Do you go for the allure of the chique boutique press, or wait for an invitation from a big trade publisher? With poetry: a difficult choice indeed.- 11 comments
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One may ask if the Canadian constitution vis a vis the Monarch's role/power should't be tested once to conclude about its validity. Obviously, of opting for a native head-of-state one should very carefully "shop" around to find a system that does not degeneratie into the mess of the USofA or, for that matter, France. With almost all Western democracies in a perilous state, a balanced and balancing system is of the utmost importance.
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Convincingly weird....
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emotionally and practically sensible: the house/apartment first. The proposal? One must always see...
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“Can you talk French? Say something cool!” This is a lovely chapter indeed.
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Baking day – 23 December
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Baking day – 23 December
Baking together. Unless people are finely - boringly? - attuned: an inevitable mess, but yes, it's as perfect a bonding moment as any. And how apt that during these days new plans/projects are a-baking.. Not a cake but a cottage or, even, a fully-blown country-house? -
dear author, I'm so glad that, in your more recent stories, you've moved on from the: 'the (bond) hunk', 'the (Greek) stud' stereotypes. They - forgive me - are amateurish and really mar your tale(s), spoil your style. You're now showing your real talent.
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a cliff-hanger if ever there was one.
