LostSole

My therapist says I’m laconic. I said "Cool."

Inflated ego

The writer wasn't one to go on a spree, He saved every word and spent them wisely. He studied and mastered word economy, A true laconomist he’d come to be.

They said the head chef was acerbic. I think he's just salty.

Chain ain't low enough.

Someone dropped the ball.

Hope she's vaccinated, though.

Keep chasing stray pussy.

Removed body

No, this is Patrick.

Why ruin something good?

You say that now.

Jason, You come across as an incredibly down-to-earth, humble, and self-aware guy, and I deeply respect that. Your reply to my comment alone was enough to earn a follow from me. That being said, there’s really no need to refer to yourself so disparagingly. I’m certainly no highly educated authority, and you absolutely don’t come across as someone uneducated or unread, whether in your fiction or in your forum comments. Quite the opposite. I do humbly understand where you're coming from when you say readers like me keep you up at night. The self-doubt. The second-guessing. The late-night spiral of “Is this even any good?” As someone who overthinks everything, and then proceeds to overthink about overthinking, I felt that in my soul. The self-inflicted pressure to get it right, to be understood, to create something that resonates. It’s real. And honestly, I think most of us feel that way at some point, no matter how much training or experience we have. I would like to offer a more nuanced interpretation of my original comment, in hopes that it offers a helpful perspective. Rather than seeing it as a correction, think of it as a reflection on perception. As writers, we care deeply about how our words are received, and sometimes what we intend doesn’t come through as clearly as we hoped. That kind of feedback isn’t criticism, it’s gold. It gives us a chance to learn and understand how a reader interprets the work, which ultimately strengthens the depth of characterization we’re able to create. I always tell others that as much as I love receiving positive comments and affirmation on my work, I also deeply appreciate when someone takes the time to constructively point out any concerns. Readers who take the time to express their enjoyment will always be the emotional bread and butter, but thoughtful critique is what helps us keep growing and sharpening our craft. Now, with all that said, all that would really need to change in Devin’s rebuttal to make it sound more like a general statement is swapping “was” for “is.” The word “was” makes it sound like Devin is referring specifically to the past event at the Fourth of July party. In contrast, “is” frames the line as a general observation, not necessarily tied to a specific incident. It subtly reframes the statement as a broader commentary, without needing to alter anything else. Thank you, Jason, for engaging so thoughtfully. It’s clear you care deeply about the craft, and that always stands out. Keep writing, I’ll definitely be reading! And on a final note, I’m marking this deep dive into the nuance of marker-up-the-ass phrasing as the unexpected highlight of my day. 😉 Thanks again! ~ LostSole

I love this! I found the narrator's dry, deadpan sense of humor really enjoyable, and the banter between Tyler and Devin was seriously laugh-out-loud funny. I did want to mention, though, that there was one line during the marker scene that I think might’ve flipped possessive determiners by accident. When Devin says, "Shoving a marker up your ass was pretty gay too," I’m guessing it was meant to be "my ass" based on context? Even so, I still really enjoyed the scene. Overall, this is a strong and well-paced first chapter, and I'm looking forward to reading more. Well done!

I’m loving the wordplaytential and punssibilities here: "You look azurable in that outfit." "I find you quite… azuring." And if you’re flying through the sky or swimming in the sea? You’re going on an azureney. Haha.

You've got no stamina.

You run from responsibility.

Hello! I recently submitted my story for moderation and I understand the review process includes a plagiarism check. The story has also been posted on other sites like AO3. I am not sure exactly how authorship is confirmed, but I would be happy to edit the author note on AO3 to include a line stating it is also being posted on GA, if that would be helpful. I read in another thread that users are sometimes advised to message Cia. However, when I tried, I received a pop-up saying I needed to have at least one content item first. Which... thanks to this post, I now do. 😁 Thanks in advance for your help! ~ LostSole

They taught you well.

Your ex warned me.

Here, go fuck yourself.

He's my biggest fan.

I loved your flaws.

Bill treats me better.

"I'm keeping the dog."