W_L

May I suggest HBO's "Looking" series, which recently ended about a year ago. It's much more modern in terms of what we're dealing with as a community in the 21st century. Queer as Folk is slightly more dated now, Brian and Justin are still a cute couple, but they'd have been written now as married in an open relationship with a home in Pittsburgh and maybe a summer home up in Maine with a few adopted kids

Just to make a point clear: If I were not with my current boyfriend, I would accept a guy who is in an open relationship with his wife as long as all three of us agree to it. It depends on how we feel for each other and our level of interest, but I'm past the storybook romance phase of gay love, you may never get a guy's full mind, body, and soul dedicated to you or vice versa. If you love someone, you accept their flaws and they accept yours, trying not to cause harm to one another in the process. I didn't dump the asshole, because he was married, I dumped him because he was cheating on his wife and lied to me about who he was. A lover is an intimate relationship, it cannot be based on deceit if you want to continue the relationship. For me, the couple in the news story from Queerty and your personal stories here represent what should be sought in complex relationships, you guys were honest with your partners of the opposite sex and were not sneaking behind them to find boyfriends on the side or DL.

A lot of great, honest, and thoughtful responses from Graeme, Cia, and Wenmale64. The news story I shared is merely meant as a rare and hopeful tale in a sea of pitfalls. There are a lot more closeted guys, who cheat on their wives than open marriages or compromised marriages. As an openly gay male, I cannot see myself being involved with a woman and being married for acceptable behavior, but this is a topic that is a big part of being gay or bi, especially for generations and cultures that were part of more conservative environments. In the past, I've dated married man in closet (did not know at the time), but I had to break it off as he was cheating on his wife with me and lied to me about his relationship status. I think you guys and gal were brave, honorable, and in your own ways loving partners to your spouses for revealing this fact about your sexuality to them.

Sexuality is fluid, FIGHT THE LABELS! (Hides in my gay male shield) Honestly, just love, it doesn't matter who you love as long as you love them.

This is an amazing story: Imagine this, a woman married for 20 years with kids gets told by her loving husband that he has been having sex on the side with men and is bisexual. First reaction, shock Second reaction, jealousy Then...she opens up the marriage, she experiments with others, they also have threesomes with guys, and their marrigae is safe or so the news story goes. https://www.queerty.com/wife-discovers-husband-sleeping-guys-happens-next-may-surprise-20161004 It's a different twist on the old story of closeted gay and bi men, maybe this will be the new normal, at least for more open minded people. (Hope that the closeted guys on GA can take this as a hopeful story for reconciling their marriages and still be true to themselves). In the end, I think honesty saved this marriage along with an open mind by both people.

Aren't you forgetting the most memorable mainstream 1990's LGBT Movie: Late 90's, but it was still an important movie for its time Boy's don't cry

This song is now stuck in my head, ugh I actually dislike these guys, they never appealed to my like the other boy bands on any level:

Adam is driving his friends back to campus from a Halloween party. Filled with longing for more in his life, he drives through a queer old wooden bridge that leads to a place beyond his wildest dreams and darkest nightmares.

Let's see, During the winter of 2015, when we had 6 feet of snow pummel Boston in two weeks, I let two homeless guys stay in my home rather than have them freeze on the street. Yes, it's dangerous and I know what many people have said and probably would say it on here as well to me, WL why not take them to a shelter or find somewhere else to put them? Why take such a huge risk? Well, most places were already packed, our mass transit system was a mess from snow storms, and I knew these guys because they had painted my house for me as an odd job with my neighbor, who works at a shelter as a volunteer, referring for them. If the same situation happened again, I'd do the same thing. Seriously, if you know a person is in need of shelter and you can at least provide that, why not? I've got plenty of canned soup and dry rice to last me a few months if need be, it'd go to a shelter in any case if I don't share it. .

Thank you everyone, Glad to know I am not alone. Matt, I am also the eldest son in my family, and the eldest scion of the family. My grandfather had 2 sons, my uncle only has one daughter, and my father only has one son and one daughter. I am the last of my line and the last of my lineage, so I understand the hard choices that he probably is making to be with you. Family is the basis of Chinese culture, lineage is important. Though, I agree with Sasha that it's a good thing that we've moved into this level of open disagreements with our parents and family over partners rather than the old lines in the sand of homophobia, which result in wounded family relationships that may never heal. It's an expectation issue, when you become an adult and form mature relationships, both from family and from each partner. Is my boyfriend the guy of my dreams? No, he's not and I am not his (The cute WASP twink that permeates our gay culture is still a benchmark ).. We both freely admit that part We also recognize the stupidity of modern stereotypes and unreasonable expectations in finding perfect partners. Do I like him? Yes Do I love him? Not sure, we're still too early in this, but when we hold hands or when he puts his head on my shoulder on the couch I feel a stirring sensation in me, not sexual, but something else that calls for this. He tells me he feels the same way and we just stay in those positions staring at blank walls or cars passing by my street for an hour. I don't need to see his face, nor does he need to see mine. While my family would rather I date guys of similar social background, maybe a Chinese boy with similar lineage or a Jewish boy with a good education and some money, I think the most important part is what you feel, not what describes the person.

Belated Happy Birthday Mr. M

This might not be true for Western readers and writers on GA, I do get this weird response from people with Asian backgrounds. Here's the basics: I introduced my boyfriend to my family yesterday, they were okay and lukewarm at first. With that over, we went on a date and I really didn't think of it at all, nor did he. At night during dinner (be warned, it's usually during dinner that things gets noisy), then, there were questions about family lineage, background, education level, and job situation. The question came up of why I was dating below my social station in life? I'm gay, 29, Asian/Pure Han Chinese-subgroup Hakka, graduate masters degree, a Licensed/government approved accountant, have a home, 401k, and various ties to politics/healthcare worlds He's 22, gay, Asian/(Mixed Chinese/Vite/Cambodian, a struggling student still trying to get his associates, works as a peer leader at a non-profit + Starbucks as a burista to pay his way, still lives with his parents, has no plans for the future, and basically have a complicate family background as the bastard illegitimate son in his family. To me social station/status doesn't matter that much as long as our feelings are true for one another. This kind of question was usually meant for Heterosexual relationships, but now that LGBT relationships have gained parity with hetero-relationships out of the shadows, I'm getting evaluated on the same traditional lines. I know my family is not being homophobic, they're just applying an old view of social status to modern life. Wonder if this is something you guys have had happened or if there's other similarities in cultures.

<Fan-girl scream> This an awesome game, which I am surprised Disney did not jump to create themselves first at the advent of VR technology

I know about the history that a Presbyterian named Merle Youngs created it, which is weird enough for most people to get a laugh in 1916. I am just wondering if there's a story behind the name that would connect something that is ubiquitous in so many products we use. Based on the guys background I think of it as a Mad Men Moment rather than such deep psychological word play.

Hey Guys, does anyone know how the brand name of "Trojans" was chosen? I am adding a couple more acronyms and terms this weekend and thought adding some background on a common brand name of products would be fun reference.

Happy Birthday Steve! 4 to the square of 3 is a great number, oddly

I know, why am I giving up the ability to comment on an exciting period of time filled with every sort of trick and gaffe imaginable, quite frankly, I just feel like people perceives I am only in it for politics and debates. I am opinionated, I am strong willed, and I am aggressive in what I see as necessary and should be done, but that's who I am. I've grown up on GA, through multiple boyfriends and multiple attempts to write new stories. I've seen many peers rise and disappear into the setting sun with the waves of popular attention and demand that readers of all walks of life creates, but I remain as I am. I've got a few readers, I've got a few detractors, and outright foes, but that's true for all of us. Life is just an unfinished story, we will all have times when we seek to fight for ideals and ideas, but it cannot be the whole of life, nor can it be what makes you stay here on GA. I am a one eyed legally blind Asian Man, I am a gay man with a dedicated lover finally, and I am a LGBT writer, who believes in this community not merely as a talking point, but as a people with a destiny and a reason to be beyond just random chance and random factors, I will post 0's and 1's Book 2 in October, I shall continue work on my LGBT Dictionary, and I shall continue to be me as my Life and story continues. The debates of nations, men/women, and power struggles of parties concern me, but I shall not let them define me.

A key piece on the nature of Pup Play: -Pup play is not S&M/Sadism&Masochism, yes there is leather, leashes, and collars, but a pup is not a punishment object, he's your animistic partner and when you guys play, it's for fun not pain. As gay writers, we do write scenes of exotic sex, but I also feel obligated to give people some pointers and good advice if they want to re-enact a werewolf story of an Alpha and his Beta lover. I haven't written a werewolf story in quite a while, but the idea did come to me as I was reading one, "how bad it could be if a gay guy without experience tries some of the stuff without prep." Here's some basics: 1. Remember once your partner puts on the dog/wolf/similar mask for Pup Play, their ability to respond may be impaired. 2. If they show signs based on body motions such as crouching, use of wall/couch/furniture as support, or they are displaying other signs of pain physically, PLEASE STOP AND HELP THEM REMOVE THEIR MASK/PAWS/OTHER ACCESSORIES 3. DO NOT TILT YOUR PARTNERS HEAD BACKWARDS, IT MAY DAMAGE THEIR SPINAL CHORD, ESPECIALLY IF A COLLAR IS ADDED 4. While preparing for Pup Play, make sure you are both aware of your roles and your command phrases. Unlike S&M, Pup play is not limited to only DOM/SUB roles, nor is sexual activity always necessary as it may be purely non-sexual role-playing, wrestling, and physical actions. 5. Above all else, REMEMBER THE CARDINAL RULE: A PUP IS YOUR PARTNER AND FRIEND, YOU ARE BOTH DOING THIS TO HAVE FUN, NOT PAIN OR SUPERIORITY

Made this pikachu weep :( I hope he finds absolution somehow

So who is Supreme Commander Snoke: There's a lot of conspiracy theories out there for who this guy is from Palpatine to Darth Plagueus. I really like this fan theory though: Mace Windu is Snoke:

Both are good, but I've owned dogs and I pet sit for cats. My avatar though say, I'd vote neither kitty or Pochy, but for the Rodent candidate

I think you guys got to what I meant, this is not a topic of politics or social issues really; though it extends to it if we move in certain direction. My point was just the concept of turning relationships and people that inhabit your life into objects of possession/ownership. It has happened in other contexts from historic slavery to modern BDSM, but most people either find the concepts strange or abhorrent to human nature to own another human being. Yet, it does seem that it also has other ways of popping up with normalized conversations. Chrys, you have a good point about our perceptions of what other people are actually expressing, but in addition to overt expression, there is a subconscious expression as well. If you read the works of Jacques Lacan, a famous psychologist who help develop some interestng theories about the nature of language, there was an interesting theory on how "psychological drive" and everyday language are connected. It comes down to a matter of linguistics. Do people mean "My wife" or "my son" in the same way they mean "my car" or "my computer"? Why do "some" (not all mind you, as I don't want anyone, Cia especially as I am not sure she understood what this topic was about, to consider this universal) use their family members as a measure of status and authority as if they were driving around a "Porsche" or using a top line "Alienware" computer system? As writers and readers, it's a topic of language and interpretation with open meanings and subtle meanings.

Usually, that's true. To me, it depends on the conversation, an occasional reference or praise of your spouse and kids is normal, but a large amount of it , while showing how they benefit "me" the speaker, is turning the person into an object. Also, comparing people to products continuously is the other aspect that these conversations creates an object out of a relationship for terms like "wife", "son", or "daughter" Like I was saying, it was just an example of how some of my conversations with people have gone as compilation, not a direct word for word conversation. Maybe, it's because I know people with strong egos and personal drives that make them extremely, what's the nicest way to say it, materialistic, it just strikes me as an aspect of these conversation and brought this topic into being as a matter of introspection and terms of use. As you noted with your Brother, Using an informal "the", it is a part of language

Well, I am not claiming moral superiority, just that an ownership concept exists and its an interesting social dynamic that we use in everyday language and everyday relationships. As for alternatives, why not praise the person themselves instead of praising your connection with them. It's their ability and their capability, not your own that make them unique. Still it's merely an observation on social dynamics as I said maybe I am being nitpicky, but it seems like we place value on people as owned objects.

Think of it this way: ----- You are in a conversation with a high school/college friend, who talks about their family. "I got a really hot wife and a kid who can read at a 3rd grade level at 7." I respond, "Okay, cool" "Yeah, she's so hot and knows all the routes in the area, don't even need GPS anymore. My kid is so smart he's starting to correct me on grammar errors, so I hardly use spell check." (Just a compilation of some conversations I've had and I bet others have had as well) ----- Cia, do you see what I mean by treating people as objects? Placing value on attributes in comparison to products, it just hit me that relationships seem to be objectified. We put people in the same category as "owned" objects that benefit us, I just thought it was a good point to be made about an issue of ownership. In the BDSM world, it has existed as a sexual tribute system, which creates categories of relationships with partners that are treated like objects. I am just making the point that there is an ownership concept out there of people, valuing other human beings as objects rather than experience based relationships. Probably an easier example is the overzealous parents of athletes, who value their kids by success in front of other peers, enjoying the value of the "owned" object. We all know what it looks like, but the context is not just limited to sports.