Phantom

This link explains it all: http://www.funnyism.com/i/demotivational/17819

Yes. Blueberry Iced Tea, I made a batch when I got home from work and I'm letting it sit overnight so it'll be a nice yummy treat for tomorrow. Well if you haven't noticed my last status update, I got dumped by the army medic I was seeing and it was very disheartening to experience and deal with, but I'm working through it (and did some retail therapy... I got a new pair of Oakley Whiskers ). I'm starting back to school in the spring, figured I'd delay by a semester since I just started my new job and I'm still working on getting used to it and working with the clients (who knew a bunch of teenagers who've been in trouble with the law would be such a pain?). Also I'm in the market to buy myself a Chevy Cruze (which is gonna kick butt!!!) because my current car is on it's way out (lord help me). Hrm.... what else.... nope can't think of anything! Keep it real!

James... there's a lightsaber app on there if you so want one Although I do have to say I love the front camera... I use it when I'm skyping family or friends and feel pretty lazy to actually go to my computer... Eric

Today I decided to defy gravity, and well it hurt. I fell down... But in all seriousness I found that being unemployed has given me time to work on things that seem to have crept up on me. I've been focusing inward on myself and doing some reading about Freud and Jung, two of the psychologists who seem to make some sense to me in terms of people and the like (hard to explain and for me to do that would take all day). Unfortunately all this reading has lead to a decline in my social life and my time on GA. I still lurk around but not as much interaction as I used to. I figured today I'd take a break from reading so much and go into Philly where I'll explore a bit (the roomie is going as well, but he has a function to attend so he's dropping me off) and just have some fun, I think. Onto a different topic... For all of you who never moved, let me tell you it's hard as hell. Between getting a car registered, inspected, car needing repairs to pass inspection, changing address and getting mail forwarded to your new place, finding new doctors and all the like, it's not as hard as meeting new people and making new friends. It's been hell and thankfully I have two great roommates who are helping me to acclimate to the area (although the one drives me INSANE sometimes) it's still not the same as it was when I lived in New Jersey, where I could call a friend to go hang out, or go to the bar and talk with some bar buddies. Here it's different because it's a fresh start and the like, but it's starting to get to me. I put on a mask sometimes and make it seem like nothing bothers me at all, that nothing gets to me. Sadly this is a bad way of dealing with things because it does get to me, like a knife to my soul. I miss my friends in Jersey and although I talk with them, it doesn't seem the same. I've been reconnecting with people I went to school with out here, but it's still not the same. I guess lately all I want is to make some friends and be the person I was in Jersey, but it's just not working out that way. The worst part is that my outlet to deal with all of this has taken a hit as well, my writing and photography hobbies. Whenever I got stressed out, I would write or take pictures but now, I can't do either. It feels like my mojo has left me and it sucks. I'm working on it, but in the mean time all I can feel is like shit and sometimes I just feel lost. So I guess I will just work on it some more and from there, make peace with everything and just start fresh, although at my current rate I'll be 80 heh. Oh btw, the worst part of everything is that the A/C in my car died, I needed new tires AND it needed an oil change/tune-up. Fun times because that just ate away at my non-existant funds. Hope I get a new job soon... that might help bring me out of my funk. Eric

For those of you who have an iPod Touch/iPhone/iPad there is an app that Invision offers: http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/ip-board-communities/id372597645?mt=8 I'm not sure if it's offered on Android or WebOS, but if you do a search in the App Markets you might find it there. I use the app instead of Safari because it lets me access more options on it than it does on the mobile site (status updates, upload pictures, etc), but in terms of full functionality, you're best bet is a laptop or computer. Any who that's the best I cam come up with now Eric

Uhhhh...... you are the definition of a gym bunny Props to you though! You got the drive I wish I had.... though I am thinking of getting a bike and going biking

I have never seen that many files in my life on a computer except for a server/client system O_O Do you have a lot of music or something? Cus 27 million... that's amazing! Eric

Thanks everyone

Two new addictions have come to the surface in my life... 1) Lemmon pound cake from Starbucks and 2) Three Region Blend coffee from Starbucks... So yea it's crunch time and it's becoming a hassle to get things done at work before finishing my last day tomorrow, getting things packed up that I have left before I finally move in Officially on Sunday, getting all my stuff together to make life easier when I go to get my car registered, plates for it, inspected and also to get my license. On top of all of that, I'm having to search for any receipts that I may have gotten during my move time, for tax purposes of course, and last but not least trying to write. I found myself dipping into some really bad depression and anxiety feelings, ones I haven't had in quite awhile, and last Wednesday it came to a head and I had my first panic attack in years, well three years 8 months and 12 days to be exact (I keep track of all my attacks so when I goto the doc it makes life easier to explain things). It happened at work as I was making (ironically) a doctor appointment for one of my clients and I felt it start to come on. Now as some of you may or may not know, the panic attacks I have are about 100% different from ones people normally get, and this time it kind of freaked my coworker out when he saw me. I was visibly shaking (not slightly shaking but what looks like a tonic-clonic seizure), my speech was slurred, and I couldn't focus. He came over to me and took my pulse which was racing and grabbed the blood pressure cuff which we have and tested it, 70/50. Luckily he kept a cool head and asked me what was happening. I finally managed to tell him to get my bag and he got it. I took a med of mine and it helped to calm me down and get things back to normal. I called our AD and let him know I was leaving work for a medical issue and he was fine with it, and I then drove home (not my smartest idea since the med I took was Xanax). Once I got home I took the one I'm supposed to take after and attack and just passed out. I talked about what happened with mom and she said it's normal for people to go through this and that she's surprised I held off for so long given that I'm moving, job hunting, leaving NJ, leaving people behind and all that stuff. I made an appointment with the doc who just gave me refills on my meds saying I don't need an adjustment that it's amazing I've kept this at bay for so song. I also found out from him that the reason why I haven't been so anxious is because I'm channeling my fears, anger and happiness into writing and photography. Granted I'm not ready to show you what I've done so far but suffice to say, I'm working on a few things... Also I think my Starbucks addiction is helping to keep these demons at bay Eric

I thought the song was cute really but I loved the prom queen debacle too... When I saw it I cried because you could imagine the pain of it all... I have to rate this episode in the top 5 cus honestly it was so good and the gleek drama kicked butt! Eric

It's official... In two weeks I'm moving to PA permanently and I'm scared. I can't focus on anything nor can I get anything done... I've been trying to distract myself with reading but it's not working... I've been talking to people but I feel like I'm being annoying so I stopped... I've only been talking to people I care for but it's not working... It's scary to move away from your parents but I feel like I'm not doing anything right... I feel as if I'm creeping back to my dark aide again and I'm really really trying not to... My friends and family noticed this with me... That I'm sleeping more and I'm being more of a bitch than usual... I hate it so I'm just taking time for myself... I'm trying to feel better but I can't feel it... Ugh... I hate writing blog entries like this cus I feel like I'm just being an emo wreck... But I gotta get it out so it doesn't eat away at me... Eric

It's official... In two weeks I'm moving to PA permanently and I'm scared. I can't focus on anything nor can I get anything done... I've been trying to distract myself with reading but it's not working... I've been talking to people but I feel like I'm being annoying so I stopped... I've only been talking to people I care for but it's not working... It's scary to move away from your parents but I feel like I'm not doing anything right... I feel as if I'm creeping back to my dark aide again and I'm really really trying not to... My friends and family noticed this with me... That I'm sleeping more and I'm being more of a bitch than usual... I hate it so I'm just taking time for myself... I'm trying to feel better but I can't feel it... Ugh... I hate writing blog entries like this cus I feel like I'm just being an emo wreck... But I gotta get it out so it doesn't eat away at me... Eric

Sitting at his computer screen, staring into the digital void He wonders how he could feel so alone in the world A veil of darkness surrounds him, engulfing him in his misery He looks at the screen once more, and then to his phone Wondering why he can’t seem to get a hold of anyone He gets up from his computer screen, and grabs his pack of cigarettes He ventures outside, taking his phone with him and sits down in a chair He lights his cigarette, takes a drag of the smoke and exhal

A dark look at what can go on in one night

Words cannot explain the way he has made me feel The day I first set eyes upon him I knew he was the one to make me feel whole The way he smiled, the way he laughed It made me feel again It gave me hope When I asked him out, on the whim of a chance I was scared, nervous of how he would react When he said yes, I felt like the burden of fate lifted off of me I smiled and giggled I felt complete I felt Infinite Being with him has made me happy It gave me grounding in life It lifts the black veil

A poem to explain what I believe love should be for someone, and how love always makes me feel.

Longing By Phantom Seeing him from a distance Brings confusion and hope to my heart I see him so, yet he sees me not Why do you make me feel Emotions I haven't felt in a long time I buried these emotions for a reason I buried them for a cause Tell me that I care for you Tell me that I feel for you Yet you leave me with nothing but pain I love to be near you I love to talk to you Yet it pains me so I only want you to be happy I only want you to smile I woul

A short poem to describe the want of another's company

Beat your muse into submission, unless yours did what mine did, and run off with one of your characters and lead a life of prostitution and the like. Heh. All kidding aside, sometimes it is best to take a step back from your story or even to reread it. I know when I get stuck on things I always go back and reread it and wham-o, I get some ideas as to what needs to happen or usually a plot line I missed that I put in as a just in case measure. Another good idea might be to get with your beta reader or your editor and rehash some ideas that you have, or listen to what they say because they might have a general idea as to what to do or say. If all else fails, buy a taser, taze your muse and all should work Eric

Eh, I'm always happy for the couple, but weddings on this scale (I know there's historical precedence to it and all) but just kinda put me off a bit. That said William and Harry were gorgeous Eric

I'm beautiful in my own way 'Cus God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track baby CUS I WAS BORN THIS WAY -Born this Way by Lady Gaga I know it's an over played song that is starting to grind peoples nerves but it does hit on the point that were all good and perfect in out own ways. If I could change myself I honestly wouldn't. I love being a snarky bitch, a gay with love for all, hot and sexy, a good friend and loving my crazy family. Being all of that and more makes me... Well... Me... So I wouldn't change myself for the world. Eric

Or typing near cliffs... Jus saying

Technology is always changing, sometimes for the better, sometimes just to drive us all crazy. Thankfully there are people out there who know how to work technology to the benefit of all, and today I'm going to explain what I'm scheming, I mean working on. Thanks to a friend of mine and really good author, I'm going to try my hand at making eBooks using a story of his and see what he thinks (he's really picky with the way he wants things). I'm going to be using two ways to do it and write down the instructions to get both ways to do it, one using Pages (Apple Word program) and MS Word (the more commonly used one). My goal is to get the experience to make and work on ePub books to be used on devices like computers (using Adobe Acrobat or Adobe Digital Editions), Nook eReaders, Kindle eReaders, iOS products (iPad, iPhone, iPod touch) and anyway else you can use an eBook. Also I want to work on making PDF formats for those who are used to Acrobat Reader. Honestly I'm really excited turning words into magic like this and am really looking forward to this little pet project of mine Any author out there have any questions, feel free to contact me because I think this is a really exciting turn of events Oh and if you could, please take the quick poll at the bottom so I have an idea of what people think, formats they're used to and the like. Lets make some magic

What about naming her sushi or hot dog?

What about Crystal?