Former Member

On the one hand I’ll be sad if Ryder’s grandmother dies, but on the other hand when she dies, she’ll have lived long enough to have seen Ryder become successful. She’ll have done her job of taking care of him after his parents died. She can die knowing he has family who loves him and will take care of him. ;-) But I hope she survives to be a part of Ryder & Teddy’s wedding at least! ;-) Many sick, elderly, or otherwise weak people will themselves to live until after an important event occurs, often holidays like christmas (or weddings). ;-)

Banjo on piano Thanks to @Parker Owens for introducing me to this composer's work! I hear lots that is distinctly American, and the structure seems clear antecedent to Ragtime, born a few decades later in Saint Louis. The composer was from downriver in New Orleans. Ivan Davis performes Louis Moreau Gottschalk's The Banjo. Written and published in Paris, 1855.

Do any organizations offer free or low-cost therapy interns? Almost all the psychological therapy I’ve gotten over the years has been doctoral candidate interns. They get real-world practice, I get therapy at little or no cost to me (it’s free to me now that I’m on Medicare/MediCal [aka Medicaid in other states]). ;-)

Geoff’s insecurity feels so close to, yet even worse than, my own. In my case, my body shame kicks in with people I’m less intimate with than boyfriends and best friends. I would never be attracted to me*, but that’s the point, someone else was and that’s what was important – it’s too bad Geoff is having so much difficulty realizing that! ;-) * I really don’t get the narcissistic pairings where two people look so similar that they could be twins when they’re unrelated genetically. ;-)

@Wesley8890, taking care of yourself needs to be your first priority. We will miss new chapters, but we can wait until you are feeling better. Get better soon, but don’t try to rush things! ;-)

There was also a famine in Ukraine caused by the seizure of grain by the Soviet Union.

In my extensive study of young military men (who participate in Gay for Pay porn, of course), I’ve decided that the ‘prettier’ or less muscular they feel, the more likely they’ll cover themselves in huge, ugly tattoos, at least a grotesque USMC design on their chest over their heart that’s about ½ to ⅔ the size of their face. Military men are denied the opportunity to grow facial hair, so they use tattoos as an alternative expression of macho masculinity. An extremely visible expression of ”I’m tough enough to endure a tattoo needle long enough to disfigure my body this much!” ;-) Similarly, Steve-O has a huge tattoo of himself on his back specifically to discourage anyone from attempting to penetrate him anally. The obvious solution is to put him on his back with his legs raised! Or make him keep his shirt on. Ask him what words are tattooed on his buttocks (‘your name’). ;-)

You aren’t responsible for what others did before you were born. And as I mentioned before, Germany has apologized and paid restitution to those who suffer. It’s never enough, but it’s more than many other countries have done! We all need to be aware of how easily a supposedly civilized country can slip into barbarism and cruelty. There are some who want to erase hateful parts of US history. There are others who want to glorify terrible regimes and philosophies. It is up to all of us to prevent those things from happening!

I’m sure there are readers who see Bren & Milo and skip the chapter – or the story entirely. But when people ignore history, they risk falling back into patterns that we want and need to avoid! We need to understand history and the horrors that have been perpetrated so we can prevent those bad things from happening again. History will judge us by how we dealt with adversity and oppression. Some people are already failing the test…

There were so many terrifying stories that came out of that period. One of the men in the documentary Paragraph 175 said that he had never physically healed after he had been raped! I've read about horrible experiments done to try to change eye colors to blue, and other to try to change sexual orientation. This is not to say that the Nazis were the only ones who conducted inhumane experiments – they weren’t! The Japanese performed experiments on Chinese people. US doctors infected African-American men with syphilis without informing their victims and studied how the disease progressed without treatment! But the sheer volume of Nazi victims probably outnumbers any of the others.

Since it wasn’t this voice in your head, was it your other voice in your head, @back2basics? ;-)

I think we’re getting reruns! (I remember the illogical logic of one series of network TV ads, “It’s new to you!” Others have tried to convince us we’d want to see it again!) ;-)

I predict that Jared and Mason become a couple. ;-)

Christopher’s wife is Steph and their daughter is Destiny. (Remember Steph of the great hugs that Blu always steals. This always frustrated Topher immensely.) Jared’s wife was Beth and their son is Kasey. As far as I can remember, this was the first time we’ve heard about Beth. Their courtship and pregnancy apparently happened ‘off stage’ between chapter 19 and this chapter.

Depression affects your sleep. With me, it exasperates my natural night owl tendencies and keeps me up into the early morning – sometimes past sun up! My sleep schedule has at times flipped wth me sleeping all day and being awake at night. My therapists often used to ask me how many hours I’d slept – it was an indication of how bad the depression was at the time. ;-) Depression often keeps you from wanting to do things. ;-) Our culture stigmatizes mental health problems. In the US, many health plans either don’t cover or severely limit coverage – the otherwise very good Kaiser Permanente limits the time that you can see psychiatrists and psychologists because they only recognize depression episodes! They don’t see depression as a long-term problem – I’ve been seeing psychiatrists and psychology interns for more than seven years now! ;-)

Thank you for having Billy shave off Brett’s beard! It’s as annoying a fad as those disgusting man buns! When that Super Hero goes around amputating man buns, he or she should chop off beards and mustaches at the same time! It’s long past time for those fads (and Sagging-pants-wearing homophobes – quit advertising if you’re not selling it or giving it away!) to fade into history! ;-) Brett’s perfectionism causes him great pain. You’d think his mother would have been able to help Brett cope with the disabilities she clearly has identified. She's the one at fault for their dysfunctional relationship! It’s up to her to reach out to bridge the chasm, not Brett and definitely not Billy! ;-)

I’m surprised that LGBTQ people still have sham marriages. I know it was still common in the US into the ‘80s at least. But many of the women in those sham marriages had no idea that their husbands weren’t straight! I hope that this sort of deception is extremely uncommon these days. The more we Come Out, the fewer excuses they have for claiming ignorance. I’m just glad I live in a state that protects LGBTQs from employment and housing discrimination and even requires schools to teach our history! We need to spread equality across the US and the world! ;-)

The first baby! @Wesley8890 is gonna love that! So many changes! Will Topher & Steph move into Kaleb & Davis’s room when they leave? ;-)

Somehow I could feel the energy of the concert! I’m sorry they got Outed by TMZ. But I’m glad Ryder just ran with it and brought Teddy up on stage with him! He even invited haters to just leave! ;-)

From @Dahawk’s reply on January 10th in the Chapter 14 Comments: Kyle and Kaleb are white, James is african american he was their Caretaker as the boys grew up. He was more of a parent to the boys while they were younger than either Rudolph or Penelope ever were.

But her bulges are all in the wrong places! ;-)

I have a special wedding gift for the boys: a gift certificate for surgical removal of excess commas and extraneous apostrophes! ;-) Some people just seem to have a flashing ‘Tease Me’ neon sign on their foreheads! Kaleb and Chris seem to be two of them! But why is Blu the only one who sees the bright flashing neon sign? ;-)

Gay men were the lowest of the low in the death camps. Or rather, Gay Jewish men were the lowest of the low – they had a pink triangle superimposed over a yellow triangle to indicate their membership in both groups! I’ve heard that a few Gay men traded up from the pink triangle to a yellow Star of David in an attempt to receive slightly better treatment. Aside from Gay men and Jews, there were several other groups that were persecuted and imprisoned. Jehovah’s Witnesses, Slavic people, and political prisoners were among the others. Lesbians tended not to be imprisoned because they could still be impregnated to increase the numbers of the ‘Master Race’, but were sometimes among the political prisoners.

What an extraordinary gift Teddy got from Ryder! Four tracks recorded just for him! A former neighbor is a singer and he once sang a song for just me in his apartment. It was really, really intense and I’d never had an experience like it before or anytime since. I cannot imagine how much more intense the feeling will be for Teddy when he listens to it! ;-)

...I didn't realize chimpanzees smile when they're happy too...