I guess I can consider myself lucky to have not had to deal with the usage o the "F" word as an insult, at least not directed at me.
Having said that I don't think it's something that can be generalized as either good or bad. I personally hate word, I've gone as far as to leave the room if the word is brought up, same with the "N" word, and I've told off several people through out the years for using both of them; whether they meant to insult or not.
I know gay individuals who use the word as a point of pride, changing the meaning of the word into something postive as a way of saying "Say what you want, do what you want; you can't insult me/hurt me."
Then on another spectrum I know straight individuals who use the same word as an insult, not toward a gay person but toward other straight people, the twist is that several of them actually have gay friends. An example is my Mothers, boyfriends, son (yea I know, no jokes), he's 21 and has been staying with us off an on for a few weeks now. One of his favorite *playful* insults towards his friends is to call them a fag *forgive me if it offends you* and they all laugh about it.
The thing is though he KNOWS i'm gay, he's even read and reviewed the first chapter of my story here on GA *I was logged in at the time so it looks like I reviewed myself*. He's even called me before from our local (unoffical) gay bar to ask me how to get back to my story cause he found some people who wanted to read it.
Now I'm still trying to figure out what he was doing at that bar (bear in mind its not exclusivly gay) but the point is he's never used it on me, or even used it around me. I only know this because of snatches of conversation that I've heard when he's had friends over.
I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that yea a vast majority of people still find the word insulting, and it really shouldn't be used frivolously, but I also think that people need to be careful to think how the word is being used in a given situation before they fly off the handle about it.
Best Wishes,
NightOwl88