JamesSavik

HI-college-guy: I've got a little experience with the other side of suicide: what it does to your friends and family. I won't address the family side, that's even worse, but it never goes away for friends. You wonder why, you blame yourself and you keep playing it back like a horrible DVD that is stuck in your head. You wonder what could have been done differently. Ten years ago April, a dear friend killed himself. I loved him dearly and would have done anything I could have had I just known what was going on. If you are asking me for permission, forget it. No act that creates so much pain can be in any way ethical.

Preps can be cool. All you gotta do is get their clothes off. But... I digress. Some of the gayest people I know are the preppiest clothes horses on the planet.

Hot Cross Country guy very nonchalantly called me his friend last night. I won't give the full details, but he was introducing me to someone and he said, "This is my friend Jim." I just about melted on the spot. He called me his friend! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good for you SB!

I love Taylor! He's the just the kind of sharp-witted smart alec I like! I used to hang with a guy like that who would show up to parties in a jesters hat. Somehow I pictured him as a Seth Green type guy. I guess if you wanted to do a short story based on TOU like a spin off, in the form of a short story or a shorter story than TOU, it just might work. I'm not sure if I would use existing characters. Quinn and Taylor would never work (unless they were drunk and it would be over as soon as they sobered-up and a traumatic hangover for both of them). Brad and Taylor might work but it would be a bi fling for Brad and a heartache for Taylor. Jude and Taylor are cousins and since they aren't from Arkansas, don't go there. One interesting thing that happens when people come out is others are emboldened and new people that were doing their best just to hide and blend into the woodwork may appear. If it were my story, this is the way I would go with it. Please don't hurt Taylor or I'll cry.

Jeez guys! Give Green and Chaz a chance to get to know each other first! They haven't been together as BF's for a whole week yet and you guys already have then Unionized and mixing colors! But seriously folks, there's way better reasons for couples to be together than their friends think they are a good match! They've got to figure that one out for themselves. Green, there is: No Pressure. :wacko: No Reason to Hurry. No Deadlines. Take it easy, take your time and have lots of fun getting to know each other at the next level. All my best wishes, JS

Dude- I've read your work. You are one of the last of the great Romantics. I know because it takes one to know one. It is easy to get jaded by all the wacked s*** that we see but if we didn't believe, at least a little bit, that love can happen, we would go stark, raving nuts. Don't give up. Cupid will catch you when you least expect it. -JS

Write away and if it's anything like the Secret Life of Billy Chase, I'll love it.

Angry Flashback _________________________________________- When Lee left me, I was crushed. I didn't take it so well. I felt like he was my last chance at being with someone. I begged him to talk to me but it didn't work. He hooked up with a chick that was a real piece of work. She knew that Lee's family was loaded so she latched on to him for the ride. It took a little while for me to figure something out: if he did come back, how could I ever trust him again? After all, the night before we had wild hot outrageous sex and the next day when I got home after work, he was gone. No note, no explanation, nothing. Just gone. It took a while to get over the hurt but I learned a hard lesson. I didn't want his cowardly @ss back. He was afraid of who he was and he was hiding behind a golddigger so he could get back on the family gravy train. Well, that was 10 years ago. He's divorced, bald and fat now and as far as I'm concerned, he can f* himself. I wouldn't take that cowardly piece of dung back if he shat gold bars and pissed champaign. He didn't talk to me because he was ashamed of what he did. He knew that it was weak and cowardly to cave in to his redneck parents for money. He didn't have the guts to face me. As much as it hurt, I don't need that. I'm glad that he's gone and that he didn't stick around to betray me when something came up that really mattered. Yeah. I'm mad. I've been out since I was 13 and taken the heat for it. Full grown men that are cowardly little bitches just piss me off. ****Sorry. This triggered an issue that I've still got issues with. I'm not mad at Green, Chaz, Julio or anybody here. Once I got rolling, it kinda just came out. Guess I needed to talk about it. Sorry for being an angry jerk in your blog Green. I hope it works out for you man.

"We have boyfriends!" Take care pal.

Oh yeah.... Keep writing in you blog. Writing is funny that way. The more you do of it, the easier it gets and the better you get at it.

Ummm... not crap per see but needing work. There are a number of elements that have to come together for a story to work. First is imagination. Without it, everything is gray and we would all wear burlap moo-moos and that would just suck. Second is passion. Without it, there there is no fire to create. Third is energy. Without it, the words stay in your head and never make it to paper. Fourth is courage. The courage to try and take the risk of failure.. or success. Fifth is mechanics and execution. That can be learned and in a way, it is the easiest part. The fifth is the only part that I found lacking and it is the easiest to fix. Please let me know what you think of Leaves & Lunatics by EleCivil. Keep at it. There's a story in you and it'll bug you until you get it out. -JS

:dances jig: I can't wait! If you need a proofreader, just yell at me.

No disrespect to everybody's favorite pup Snowie but I'm a cat person. They are entirely too lazy to chase you. Your sister's car has a fairly common problem. I would have to know the model and year to give you a better diagnosis. It could be one of several things but it sounds like a tune up is in order. If it's an older car, there may be carbon deposites in the engine. If it is a newer car, the computer may need adjustment. Either way, it is no good for the engine and it needs the attention of a good mechanic or a bad exorcist. -JS

Hey Green, Thanks for letting us know that you are home and OK. Sometimes the pain of a breakup can be just the muse that you need to stimulate your literary/artistic side. Just a thought. OK, a perhaps a selfish one from the shameless fanboy in me, but it helps me to put that emotional angst somewhere positive. Oh yeah- when you talk to your friends, they should understand that you needed a little time to yourself (as long as you aren't spending that time under a bridge with a bottle of cheap wine). -JS

SB: Okay, so I need my meds. I'm being a little of-the-wall tonight. If you weren't bouncing off the walls SB, we wouldn't know what to think. Take care, have fun and have a hot cross-country guy sandwich.

Dom: okay, I

Green- As sad as it is, a lot of us have been there. When it happened to me, I took a few days off to collect myself. A couple of friends took me under their wing and helped to drag me out from under the funk that I was in. Try not to isolate yourself, that's what friends are for. -JS

Oh Green sweetie, I know exactly how much that sucks. I got "left" by a boyfriend in '95 after a short, passionate affair of 6 months or so. It took me THREE times six months to get over it and feel desirable again. In fact, my life is segregated BL "Before Lee" and AL "After Lee". Now is the time that your friends need to rally too you but- beware of reflex to jump in a rebound relationship before you are ready.

Would the evil overlords let us make hamburger out of them?

Satanists,Baptists Fundamentalists*, what's the difference? Any time a bunch of people think that they have a special hotline to a Deity and a monopoly on the truth, they become dangerous. *- My apologies to Baptists, some of them aren't raving fundamentalists.

Dom- I finally finished The Ordinary Us. It's GGGGGGREAT Quinn was a little whiney for my tastes and I just couldn't see what Jude saw in him but each to his own. Cheers, JS That had nothing to do with your rant but there's nothing like a little praise to make you feel better.

That's really all for today. I didn't have to deal with the stupid annoying lutheran all day. Lutherans usually aren't obnoxious. Typically they're pretty mellow. It's Baptists that mill around waiting to become angry mobs with pitchforks and torches. Such a lot of bother over a little witchcraft.

Must...obey...evil...cat...overlords

Dom- The gray cat honors you with the oppertunity to take him in and feed him two cans of fancy feast every day for the rest of his hairry life. It is an honor after all. Cats pick their people and they are very good judges of character. They know which humans can be trained and which ones can not. -JS Oh BTW- gray cats are omens of good fortune in several mythologies. Who knows. It could be the spirit of a literary agent.