Surreal Comedy - Stories

Ahh Granny's got a plan for her little Alley Cat.

Alvin must navigate the diabolical machinations of a woman hell bent on getting him out of his rut.
The trouble is, it involves a certain gardener named Tabby, while dodging the attention of the Higgins Clan and navigating the web of twisted games that spans the entire town.

Will he survive with his bachelordom intact, or is he doomed to a happily ever after fate half baked into a Hallmark nightmare?

Lord Percival Nocturne is an ancient vampire suffering from a profound boredom. His fate is sealed when a meal on a virgin porn author fills him with untapped creative energy. A subsequent attack by a rabid unicorn doesn't kill him—it transforms him into Sparklehoof, a glittery, fanged unicorn who excretes rainbow ice cream . He realizes he is a cosmic antibody against "The Beige," a universal force of soul-crushing blandness . Can his army of Pepsi-addicted penguins and furious dachshunds save existence from total monotony?

Have you ever wondered what happens in a furniture store after the lights go out? Neither have I. But here’s one story told from the point of view of one of the items waiting to be sold.

Helmhold Hammerfest, upstanding member of the dwarfish community of Ankh-Morpork, invents something unheard of: Drag (Not an easy thing to pull off for dwarfs). A fabulous explosion of glamour not only threatens dwarfish society but attracts the unwanted attention of elves. Run as fast as you can (in high heels)!

Everybody knows you don't put metal into a microwave. Well, probably almost everybody. This will be a series of very short stories, each covering Dave the microwave's take on what happens when something weird is "cooked" in him.

Another foray into the comedic world.

Everyone knows duct tape has hundreds of uses. But what happens when one of those uses is quite unconventional?

A typical share at a meeting of an atypical 12-step group.

For some reason, Prompt 134 reminded me of a true encounter. With some license to make the story much more interesting.

Monologue by the manager of Brain Torture Hotel, located somewhere within each of our brains, where all our most self-destructive habits find a warm welcome