Escaping the Pain - 1. Chapter 1

“Son of a bitch!” the unmovable object said, rubbing the center of a very wide chest as he stood still in the middle of the sidewalk staring down at the prostate form on the concrete.

Dane lay on the ground, fighting to breathe as he wondered if perhaps he had burst his lungs or something. 'Like I could be that lucky!' he thought. Suddenly his body gave a great gasp and without the focus running away had given him what came out after that first huge breathe was a great heaving sob. He lay collapsed on the hot concrete and fell into the pieces that he'd so desperately been trying to hold together. He couldn't stop, not even if he'd wanted to. Which he did, desperately, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh man, hey. I'm sorry. Are you hurt?” a deep voice said frantically. Dane pulled away, dragging himself backward with his eyes still shut tight, which granted, wasn't a good idea but by then he was pretty much gone mentally. The absence of anything under his right hand took him by surprise and Dane fell sideways only to be stopped just before his nose and now open eyes kissed the asphalt of the road. He was pulled back and into well muscled arms that gripped him tight to the big chest he had bounced off of so impressively.

“Hey, don't do that. Shhh...” He was still sobbing incoherently but stopped trying to get away. The tight grip that was holding him loosened as Dane let his head rest on the soft shirt that soaked up his tears. A deep rumbling voice was the only thing Dane could hear above the sounds of misery he was making but that and the hand cautiously rubbing his back somehow eased the tight knot of pain inside him. He tried desperately to stuff his tears and weakness back down but it took several minutes before he was successful. Gulping and snuffling he stiffened when he realized that the strong arms were still holding him and now massaging his shoulders.

“Uh, yeah,” Dane said in a thick voice. “You can let go of me now, I won't do that again.”

“Oh. Sure.” He let Dane go but he only scooted back a little. “Sorry. So I'm guessing you weren't that upset just because of me knocking you down. Are you okay?”

“I,” Dane started but paused, “I,” Dane tried again but the lump in his throat kept him from speaking. He shook his head, his shoulders slumping. He couldn't say he was okay; he wouldn't be okay ever again.

“You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but it's hotter than hell out here. Can we go inside?” the big guy stood up and offered Dane his hand as he towered over him. Dane hesitated before he took it and was pulled effortlessly to his feet. He just stood there mutely until he was guided by a hand on his shoulder into the coffee shop they were sitting in front of.

“Hey Tap,” the young woman behind the counter called out, “What's up?” she looked at the pair, her head cocked to one side as she looked at Dane and then at... Tap. Dane looked up at the guy himself but didn't speak.

“Well I knocked down my little friend here just outside. Thought I'd buy him a drink to make up for it. Can we get two iced mocha's, Tammy?” Tap ordered.

“Sure thing sweetheart.” Tammy bustled around behind the counter. The coffee shop was deserted other than her but since it was just after 1:00 pm on a weekday in early April that was expected. The temperatures outside had to be in the lower 90s already and getting a coffee was the last thing on most people's minds, even an iced one. Still enough teenagers frequented the place before school and again on lunch breaks for the muffins, doughnuts, and deli sandwiches that it must have made it worthwhile to stay open this time of year.

Tap had led Dane over to a light blue pair of comfortable chairs grouped together next to a small round black table. They sat in silence, Tap studying Dane while Dane tried to curl into a ball in his chair. Tammy came waddling out from behind the counter with the two cups and a plate. She was a tall for a woman and looked slender other than the large curve of her stomach that was echoed by the curve in her overtaxed back, making her seem all belly. Tap leapt up and took the cups from her, quickly putting them down and turning back to grab the cookies.

“I could have come and got them you know!” He gave her a look as he grabbed the plate from her. Tammy laughed and patted him on the cheek.

“I'm pregnant, not crippled you know,” she said sarcastically. “I still have 2 months yet.”

Tap looked at her skeptically. “You sure? You don't look like you have 2 more months in you. You're really going to get even bigger?”

Tammy's eyes widened in mock outrage as she slapped his shoulder. “Smartass! See if I bring you white chocolate macadamia nut cookies again.” Tap's eyes lit up.

“Fresh?”

“Still warm and everything.”

“Then I am very sorry. You are slender as a reed and twice as beautiful as the most perfect blossom,” Tap proclaimed in a reverential tone.

Tammy snorted. “Kiss-ass. Take care of your friend you goof.” She smiled gently at the boy she had seen walking past her shop a few times in the last month. “I hope you like it.”

Tap sat back down at looked Dane who was still sitting in the other chair. He grabbed his coffee and a cookie, gesturing for him to do the same. Dane took the silent invitation, the cool drink soothing his sore throat still raspy from crying. He ignored the cookies though. “You don't want any?” Tap asked.

“No thanks,” Dane said quietly.

“Well, okay.” Tap shrugged. “I guess that means more for me then.” He grinned happily as he stuffed a second cookie in his mouth. Dane had a small smile on his face as he watched. It brightened his face, eased the look of sadness that he'd been wearing but didn't reach his desolate eyes. Tap cocked his head as he looked at him curiously.

“So, what's your name? Do you go to school at Brookvern? I've not seen you around much, did you just move here?” he askedquestions in rapid-fire style.

“I thought so! I'm Tap,” Tap said, though Dane already heard the woman use his name. He just nodded. “I'm a senior too but I only go to one class a day, last period so I can sleep in.” He grinned again. “I could have graduated early but I wanted to stay this spring so I could play baseball.” Dane was surprised when he heard that Tap was a senior in high school, he would have thought him older than that, maybe a college student or something.

Tap was staring at him again so he buried his face in his coffee cup, taking a long drink. The sugar was helping with his shock but he was still trembling and fighting back his emotions that only grew the more difficult to handle as he sat in his soft blue chair. They sat quietly sipping for a few minutes, Tap staring at him with questions in his eyes and Dane fighting desperately not to think at all. Tap set down his cup beside the empty plate after a few minutes.

“You don't need to tell me what has you so upset but do we need to get you back to the school before you get into trouble?” Tap asked in a serious voice. The tears filling Dane's eyes overflowed and slid silently down his cheeks as he nodded, gulping in sudden fear. “Well then, let's go.” Tap stood up and held out his hand. Dane grasped it and let him pull him to his feet once again; he was perfectly able to stand on his own but for some reason he kept taking the hand the bigger guy offered. He stood wobbling a little but let go of the warm hand quickly and looked down, his emotions swirling inside him like a vast maelstrom.

“I'm sure whatever it is that had you running, it's going to be alright,” Tap tried to assure him as they walked outside. That comment was the last straw; thought it was unintended to hurt him that one comment made Dane snap emotionally. His eyes blazed and two spots of bright color blazed in his cheeks. He rounded on Tap with his fists clenched and practically spat his ire-filled words at the teenager towering over him.

“What the hell do you know? Nothing! It's not alright; it's never going to be alright. She's dead, okay!” He was screaming at Tap who just stared at him. “Just stop, do you hear me?! Stop helping me, stop talking to me! I don't need you, I need, I need...” Dane shuddered, closing his eyes. It was all back, all the pain and the frustration, the impotent anger that he just couldn't handle. He wanted to take it out on someone, anyone, with the sole exception of this handsome guy staring at him with his mouth open in shock. He took off at a run again, desperately trying to outpace the way he felt even though he knew it was futile.

He could hear the footsteps pounding behind him and redoubled his pace. 'Why can't he just leave me alone?' he wailed to himself, unwilling to accept any comfort when she lay beyond the comfort he had been giving for so long. He sped up, turning a corner only to slip on a bag that lay in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the local supermarket entrance. For the second time in less than a half hour he was on the ground with the wind knocked out of him.

“Are you okay?” Tap asked in a breathless voice behind him. “Oh hell, that's a stupid question, I'm sorry, really. I mean, are you hurt anywhere?” He dropped to his knees beside Dane panting from his run chasing after him. He ignored the dirty look Dane sent him and checked his pupils to see if he hit his head and ran his eyes down Dane's arms and legs for any obvious signs of broken limbs. He breathed a sigh of relief. "You don't look like you broke anything."

Tap brushed his hands aside. “Because you need me,” he said shortly.

“Do not,” Dane muttered.

“Yes, you do.” Tap gently pushed up Dane's pant leg and pulled down on the white sock exposing an already rapidly swelling ankle that was beginning to develop a nasty purple bruise. “Do you really think you can walk on that all by yourself? I don't think so.”

“Whatever. Could so.”

“Well if we are going to use kindergarten type arguments how about this? I'm bigger than you so I'm not giving you a choice. You can get up and lean on me to walk or I will carry you,” Tap said in a matter of fact voice.

“Fine.” Dane gave in with bad grace. The pair made slow progress back to the school, walking together.

“At least you were heading back toward the school,” Tap observed.

They were silent after that until they walked into the school, a big blue building that easily housed the number of students that attended. Tap steered them toward to the office where the Vice Principal exclaimed loudly at the sight of them together.

“Dane! There you are. I was so worried when you took off like that. I called your father and he's on his way here,” Mr. Stephens said.

Dane began to tremble but Tap was the only one who could tell. “I'm sorry, Mr. Stephens, I just...”

“It's okay, son, I'm not mad. You're not in any trouble. I just think you should go home for the day, having your father and grandmother around would probably be best for you.” Dane was nodding reluctantly when a voice barked out his name, causing his whole body to lock up.

“Daniel Kendricks, what have you done now?” A tall man stood in the entrance to the office with a sharp look directed at his son. He was lean and dressed in a dark suit that was tailored to fit his body. His entire body radiated impatience and annoyance, from his expression to the clenched fists at his side.

“I'm sorry Dad, I...” Dane began contritely.

“Now Mr. Kendricks, while we can't condone leaving school grounds unexcused, I can understand why Dane took off. Hearing that sort of news from someone who is essentially a stranger was probably not the best way to handle the situation,” Mr. Stephens interjected. His voice held a bit of unspoken censure in it. It was clear he felt the man had taken the easy way out by making someone else tell his son. Dane had known he was a nice man earlier but he had to leave, try to escape his words when he was called into the guidance counselor's office after lunch and given the bad news.

“My wife had been ill for some time, it was expected. There was no reason to disrupt the boy's schooling,” he snapped.

“Still, it was a shock. Dane is in no trouble but the Principal and I believe that it would be best if he went home for the rest of the day,” Mr. Stephens said firmly. “Your teachers will give you an extension on the day's work, Dane, especially since you are ahead in most of your classes anyway.”

Dane just nodded at hearing this, not having spoken beyond his attempt at an apology when his father came in the room. Tap was just standing there watching everyone.

“Well come along then Daniel, I'm very busy. I don't have time for this.” Tap silently began to help Dane limp over to his Dad. “Excuse me, who are you?” Dane's dad tried to look down his nose at Tap but since he was actually a little taller and much bigger than him it didn't really work well.

“My name is Patrick Leeran, sir. I ran into Dane earlier. He hurt his ankle and I helped him back to the school.”

“Well you can just take your hands off of him like that. He can walk just fine on his own, I'm sure it's nothing,” Tap began to protest but Mr. Stephens cut him off.

“Actually Mr. Kendricks, there is a form here I need you to fill out. Dane's emergency contact information was missing from his admission paperwork and you need to sign him out of school. I bet Tap can get him to your car while you are doing that so you won't be held up by Dane's slow pace.”

Mr. Kendricks sighed and pinched his nose, glaring at his son. “Fine, you had better be ready to go by the time I get there.” Dane nodded but kept his eyes on the ground. Tap didn't say a word just turned them and walked out the door. They were out of earshot of the office when Dane finally spoke.

“I'm sorry about Dad,” he apologized to Tap, “and for not telling you about my, my...”

“You don't have to talk about it. And you didn't make your dad act like that, so you don't need to say sorry for the way he treated me.” Tap was shaking his head, his hands gentle on Dane as he helped him walk.

“Still--” Dane began.

“Still nothing. C'mon, let's get you out to your car before he gets away from Mr. Stephens and blows a gasket.”

“Okay.” They were silent as Tap walked slowly and Dane limped along. “Hey, can we get my backpack? I have some homework from my morning classes and my locker is by the door.”

“Your mom just died and you're worried about homework?” Tap was a bit incredulous.

“My dad will be mad if I don't do it. Besides, what else am I going to do?” Dane said bitterly. They stopped briefly at Dane's locker and he threw his loose books and binder into a black backpack and started to sling it over his shoulder. Tap stopped him and grabbed it before slinging it over his own shoulder. “You don't have to do that,” protested Dane.

“Uh huh, but I'm going to anyway,”

Dane shook his head and started toward his dad's car, still leaning on Tap. He really didn't want his dad to think he had been dawdling when he finally came out of the office. They stopped next to a red Saab and Tap whistled. “This is your dad's car?” Dane just nodded, a bit embarrassed. The rest of the lot was cheap older cars for most of the teenagers and the staff mostly drove Honda or Toyota cars, decent looking but nothing special. Dane hated standing out and his dad's car practically screamed Look At Me to everyone who saw it.

Dane opened the back door, Tap assumed to put his backpack in the rear seat, but he was surprised when Dane slid in across the leather seat too. “You're going to sit in the back?” he asked confused.

“Um, yeah, so I can stretch out my ankle,” He slid over behind the driver seat and stretched his sore ankle on the seat, making sure to keep his shoe off the leather. “So, um, thanks. You know, for everything.”

“Sure,” said Tap easily, “I really didn't mind,” The bell rang, a shrill ringing that signaled the end of class. “I guess I need to go, I've got gym class and I need to get changed. I'll uh, see you tomorrow, right?”

“I guess,” Dane said uncertainly.

“Well you're coming to school right?” Tap pressed him.

“I think so.” Dane was looking at his knees, his voice small and tired. It was the worst day of his life but his dad had been right; he had known this was coming. Besides, he'd rather be at school than around his dad any day.

“Good, then I'll see you tomorrow.” Tap took off at a jog after shutting the door gently. Dane looked up to watch him as he ran off. He leaned his head back against the seat, a small smile on his face until his dad opened the front door and got into the driver’s seat. Dane ducked his head and made sure his face was impassive, gritting his teeth at the coming storm.

“What in the hell were you thinking?” his dad asked angrily, looking in the rear-view mirror as he reversed his car out of the parking spot and left the lot. “Never mind, don't even bother to try and excuse your idiocy. I'll deal with you when we get home.” Dane started shaking as soon as his dad said that but stayed silent. Speaking would only get him in more trouble at this point. Why bother?