Second Shot - 4. Chapter 4: Dare to be Happy

Putting on his helmet, Jason climbed behind Peter. He reached up to hold onto Peter’s shoulders again, then on a whim dropped his hands around Peter’s waist. Peter put his left hand over Jason’s squeezing it quickly. Taking it as a sign his hands were fine where they were, Jason held on a bit tighter as Peter kick the engine to life.

Hamerton was not a big city, in fact it was really just a large town. A steel rolling plant north of campus once employed thousands from the area. Now the factory housed a small specialty manufacturer that had only a fraction of the positions. If Graydon didn’t exist, neither would Hamerton.

Since the downsizing occurred, several parts of town fell into decline. The state and county tried to revive the town twice, but neither attempt brought significant and sustainable employment. In the end, the town and county agreed to raze a large area east of campus and allowed a huge outlet mall to be built. The retail jobs were something, but the low pay for most jobs only marginally revitalized the area.

South of campus was the most prosperous part of town. Large homes built for professors, executives and other professionals made the area desirable. Anyone who was anyone in Hamerton and its surrounding area, lived there.

The last retail area in town, where Annette’s restaurant was located, was west of campus. Further west were the houses built for the myriad of workers who flocked to the area when the steel plant was at full capacity. Much of the area was run down now with only pockets of well kept neighborhoods. On the outskirts of the shopping district were the more industrial businesses; chop shops, tire warehouses, landscapers, cement plants and the like.

Jason was surprised when Peter drove west of the restaurant into what was commonly referred to on campus as the rough part of town. Twelve long blocks from the restaurant, Peter pulled into a small apartment complex sitting a block off the main road. The squat rectangular building had six white doors in front. Make that six grungy, maybe white once upon a time, doors. The collection of older cars parked out front spoke to the clientele of renters inside.

Peter parked on the right side of the building in a small parking space that seemed made for a motorcycle.

“Home crappy home.” Peter said, removing his helmet.

When Jason waited too long to respond, stunned someone like Peter would live here, Peter said, “It’s not so bad inside, really.”

“What?” Jason realized Peter must be embarrassed to bring him here. “No, this is cool. It’s all yours, so I’m jealous.”

“Trust me, this place is nothing to be jealous of.” Peter sorted through his keys as they walked to the second faded door. “Most of the people who live here are good folks, the landlord is kind of picky because she lives here.”

“Seriously,” Jason tried to sound convincing. “This is cool.”

‘Dear god, let me get home safe’ was all he kept thinking as they entered the small vestibule. Illuminated by a large industrial style florescent light overhead, every worn surface stood out to Jason. When they walked passed four aluminum mailboxes, Jason saw “Gregory” written on the small slip of paper under the black “C” etched onto the metal.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere else?” Peter stopped, key in hand, in front of the boxes.

“No, this is fine, really.” He felt bad. If this was all Peter could afford, Jason’s attitude was insulting. “Sorry Peter, I really didn’t mean to sound uncomfortable.”

Peter laughed. “It was your face that really gave you away. My mother’s expression was only slightly worse.”

Now it was his turn to feel bad. “Sorry, I guess I’m a snobby prick.”

“Trust me when I say it is not so bad inside.” Peter ignored the self criticism. “If you’re still nervous once we’re inside, we can go somewhere else, promise.”

“Really, I’m fine.” Jason said as sincerely as he could.
His heart trying to come through his chest, Jason followed Peter up the narrow flight of stairs. Although worn and in need of a new coat of paint, the hallway appeared clean. There were only four apartments in each unit. Apartment C was to the right of the stairs.

Peter opened the door, turning on a light so Jason could follow. Excited and anxious, Jason was hyper sensitive to his surrounds. As promised, the apartment was not as bad as the outside suggested. In fact, Jason thought, it was fairly nice. Nicer than his prefab campus apartment with cheap carpets, flimsy cabinets and crappy workmanship.

Several small area rugs covered the hard wood floors. A small table and chairs were in the far right corner. Not far from the chairs, a futon faced a set of shelves holding a TV, books, a few pictures and an old DVD player. Against the wall, to the right of the futon, an electric piano stood quietly on a stand. To the left of the instrument, a set of nunchuks and a couple long swords rested on a small chest.

The little kitchen was hidden by the wall until he walked into the room. It, like the rest of the apartment, was neat and orderly.

“So?” Peter sounded apprehensive.

“Cleaner and nicer than my place on campus, that’s for sure.” He laughed.

“You okay then?”

“Yeah sure.” Not really, he thought, but it has nothing to do with the apartment.

Peter walked around the futon and into a doorway. Just beyond a small hall, Jason could see a second door to the left, with a dresser and the edge of a bed further inside.

“Bathroom is here in case you need it,” Peter gestured to the door inside the doorway. Jason remained in the living room while Peter hung his coat in a closet.

“This is going to sound really tacky,” Peter said when he came out. “But would you mind if I take a quick shower? I didn’t get to clean up like you did.”

“Yeah sure.” What else was he going to say. “Go ahead, I’m fine. I’ll just snoop around your apartment while you’re gone.”

“That’s fine, all the valuable stuff will be in the bedroom with me.” Peter joked. “I won’t take long, just want to clean up.”

“Go and stop apologizing.” Jason plopped himself down on the futon to wait for his host.

Closing his eye he kept asking himself what he was doing; here and with Peter in general. This was crazy he thought. Yet he was still here, sitting on Peter’s futon.

As crazy as it might be, Jason found himself excited by his situation. If he could put a face on what he envisioned his ideal date would be; smart, handsome, athletic, funny, killer smile, Peter was it. No surprise he was interested.

Yet it was none of those that made him break all his sacred rules. As cute, funny, smart as Peter was, Jason might not have fallen for him if he wasn’t such a nice guy. His concern for Jason’s reputation at dinner summed up his personality. He tried to do the right thing, even if it didn’t further what he wanted. Faced with all these positives, Jason found it hard to maintain his rules.

He heard the shower turn off and figured Peter would be out soon. Racing, his mind wouldn’t focus on what he was doing. Confused, he closed his eyes again.

“You okay?” Peter asked from the doorway. Barefoot, he wore a pair of long blue cotton pants and gray tee shirt.

Jason could see Peter was trying not to get anxious, but could only hide it so much.

“Fine.” He lied. “Well not really, but I have time to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Peter sat next to him.

Jason felt his heart rate go up instantly. “What I’m doing. Doing here, doing with you.”
Peter’s breath smelled like mint, making Jason suddenly very conscious of how bad his must be after dinner.

Turning his head slightly he asked, “Can I be tacky now?”

“Um, yeah sure.” Peter tilted his head.

“Mouthwash?” he said. “I have major curry breath.”

He knew he blushed, but there was no sly way to deal with it. If he had his way, they were going to kiss before he left and no one would want to kiss him again if he didn’t do something about his breath.

Peter laughed. “That was no more obvious than my needing to shower.”

Jason smiled weakly, but still felt self-conscious.

“In the cabinet behind the door,” Peter told him.

“Thanks.” Jason jumped up as much to get the mouthwash, as to hide the affect of sitting this close to Peter.

He closed the door, realizing he needed to piss. Noting that the bathroom was as clean as the rest of the place, he made sure not to leave a mess. After relieving himself, he found the mouthwash, took a swig, swishing it around his mouth as he washed his hands.

“What the hell are you doing?” he whispered to his reflection in the mirror after he spit. “Guess I’ll find out.”

Peter knelt by the stereo on the shelves, fiddling with the music. Jason returned to his seat and waited for Peter to finish.

“Better?” Peter asked with a smirk.

“I guess so.”

Peter’s smile faded. “Something wrong?”

“Nope,” Jason shook his head. “Just wasn’t sure if the mouthwash did the trick.”

The mischievous smile returned to Peter’s face. “Do you need some help making certain?”

“Hmm, probably.” He laughed. “Got any ideas?”

Peter leaned over, setting Jason’s pulse racing yet again. “Yeah I do.”

When their lips met, Jason though he might faint. He could barely contain the rush of emotions that accompanied their first kiss. Too quickly it was over.

“Seems good to me.” Peter pronounced.

“Are you sure?” Jason asked, nearly breathless.

“Good point.” Peter leaned forward again, this time putting his hand behind Jason’s head and kissing him deeply.

Jason let go of his inhibitions, enjoying the moment. Whatever consequences might come of this, he didn’t care, he wanted this.

“Wow.” He said when they separated. “No one ever kissed me like that before.”

Peter cocked his head and smiled. “That’s good right?”

Jason leaned forward until their lips were almost touching. “Yeah, it is.”

Despite all his pent up desire, Jason let Peter control things. Left to his own choices, he and Peter would be naked by now. By contrast, Peter appeared in no rush, content to simply kiss and fondle. Jason had to keep reminding himself there was no urgency to get naked; this was not a one night hook up.

Peter slowly guided them back onto the futon, with Jason laying on his back. He could feel Peter’s excitement as they rubbed against each other, kissing and touching. When he finally got the nerve to reach under Peter’s shirt, he could feel the tight, sinewy built he hoped to see more of.

“Do you want to go inside?” Peter motioned with his head for the bedroom.

Noticing the time on the stereo, he felt his panic return. “Is that clock right?”

“Yeah, why? Got somewhere to be?”

“No, yes, fuck.” He lay back closing his eyes. When he opened them, Peter was staring down at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Remember how we said we were going to be careful?” Jason ran his hand along Peter’s face. “I can’t stay over. If we go into the bedroom, I won’t make it home.”

“Why can’t you stay over?” Peter didn’t get up and Jason didn’t object.

“There’s no way I can explain that away to Darryl. It will raise too many questions I can’t answer.” Jason kept moving his hand over Peter’s body. “I really want to stay, god you have no idea, but I can’t.”

“Oh,” Peter sounded disappointed. “I understand.”

Jason pushed himself up and stole another kiss. “Can we stay here a bit longer? I don’t need to go just yet.”

“Do you really want to or are you just saying that?” Peter sounded like someone who had been hurt before.

“Peter, I’m not confused, this doesn’t make me feel guilty. Scared maybe but not guilty.” He explained. “I just need to be careful how we go about this. This was all completely unplanned, that’s all. If I don’t go home, Darryl will ask where I was all night. I need to say something beforehand or it will be too hard to explain later.”

“What if I promise not to try to keep you all night?” Peter asked.

Damn, Jason could feel his already weak defenses crumbling. “It’s not you I’m worried about. I can’t be sure I’ll leave.”

Maybe Peter sensed his will to say no was not very strong, because his response to Jason’s comment was to kiss him. When they stopped Peter said, “the bed really is more comfortable.”

His heart pounding, Jason tried one last time to resist. “Peter . . .”

“I know.” Peter sat up. “You can’t stay.”

Jason nodded. “Do you want me to go now?”

He didn’t want to go, but maybe it would be better if he did. If they kissed much longer, he was sure to give in.

“Of course not,” Peter grabbed Jason’s hand. “I’m sorry. After promising I will help you be careful, here I am pushing you to take more risks.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to stay, really.” So many different thoughts and emotions raced through his head, Jason found it hard to think. “This is so hard to explain.”

“You don’t have to say anything Jason,” Peter squeezed Jason’s hand. “I didn’t mean to push you into something you weren’t ready for.”

“That’s just it, part of me is so ready for this.” Jason took a deep breathe. “I have known since high school I was gay, well since I was 12 really, but it wasn’t until I was 17 I really came to grips with it.”

“I was the same.” Peter admitted. “I knew when I was pretty young, but it took a while for me accept it.”

“Yeah,” Jason nodded. At least he wasn’t alone in how he came to grips with things. “The few encounters I had were always just quick get me off type stuff. Sure they were fun, but I never let it get beyond just fun and I never let it happen with someone who might see me around.”

“That has to be hard to arrange.”

“Drive far enough and lie about where you’re from and it isn’t that hard.” Jason said quietly. He was not proud of his history

“Okay, I can see that.” If Peter viewed Jason’s comment negatively, he didn’t voice such thoughts.

Anxiety made it hard for him keep his head clear. He was so unsettled, his body felt far away. Pushing through all the jumbled thoughts jockeying for position, Jason tried to focus on what he wanted to say. When he finally looked at Peter again he could see the doubt and confusion he expected. His comments about just wanting to hook up were in contrast to his actions since they first ran into each other at the field house.

“This time it is different.” He said. “I don’t want to hook up. I mean I don’t want to just hook up, then disappear. This is a new feeling.”

He thought he saw Peter’s doubts ease slightly. “That didn’t really help much did it?”

“Why don’t you say what you want and not worry about how I’ll react?” Peter suggested. “Then I can figure out how to respond.”

Jason laughed. “Believe it or not, that’s what I’m trying to do. Thoughts are racing around my head so fast I can’t think straight.”

“That’s because you aren’t straight.” Peter arched an eyebrow, causing Jason to laugh.

“True.” He took a deep breathe. “I guess what I’m struggling to say is I want more than just sex with you, but I don’t know how to go about it. Since I kinda sorta came out, it has been my plan to not get involved because that would put everything else at risk. Until you, I never had to deal what would happen if I met someone who challenged that plan. All of which is rather presumptuous of me as it assumes you feel the same.”

Now he could add uncomfortable to his growing list of feelings.

As if reading Jason’s thoughts Peter smiled and said, “You can scratch lack of interest on my part from your list of questions.”

Snorting softly Jason said, “Thanks.”

“There you go, we solved all your problems.”

Jason gave him a small smile. “Sure we did.”

“Jason,” now Peter seemed uncomfortable. “I don’t know what to say that will help. I know what I want, but I don’t want to push you somewhere you don’t want to go. No, actually I do want to, but that would be selfish of me. But I’m a good listener if you want to talk about it.”

“Before you were outed, how did you handle things?”

“Kind of how you are.” Peter admitted. “I tried to keep it secret, but you see how that worked out.”

“Yeah.” Jason didn’t feel confident he would do much better. “That’s what I’m afraid will happen with me.”

“The difference is he and I weren’t careful. And,” he quickly added, “We didn’t think about the consequences like you and I are doing now. There are a few other differences as well that make this different.”

“Care to share those?” If there were good reasons things wouldn’t end as badly for him as they did for Peter, he couldn't see them.

“We had no safe place to go.” Peter said. “You and I do.”

“That’s true.” Jason conceded. Before he could say more Peter continued.

“My place is so far from campus and where most student’s go, there is very little chance of people seeing you come over.”

“Is that what you want?” Jason’s face squinched in doubt. “Us sneaking around to be together.”

“It certainly isn’t ideal.” He admitted. “But we can work on it.”

“We won’t be able to keep it secret forever.” Jason stated. He didn’t mean to sound fatalistic, but if he was being honest, eventually it would come out.

Disappointment was so clear on Peter’s face it stung Jason. If he felt they couldn't hide their relationship and he didn’t want to out himself, it didn’t leave much left for discussion. At least that must be how Peter saw things.

“Peter, don’t get that way.”

“How do I get?” Peter’s voice confirmed his hurt. “I finally find someone I want to date, who says he wants to date me, but we can’t.”

“I never said we can’t date.” Jason didn’t know what to say beyond that. He didn’t want to push Peter away. At the same time, he didn’t want to out himself and dating Peter was sure to do that. “I’m just confused about what to do next.”

They sat in silence, neither looking at the other. Jason almost said, ‘let’s do it’ several times, but his fear of how things would ultimately turn out, stopped him. Peter swallowed hard, making Jason look up.

“Can I ask a question?”

Jason bit back the smart ass, ‘you just did’ he normally would say and nodded.

“I need you to be honest with me, so tell me no if that is the answer.” Peter’s lead in added to Jason’s confusion.

“Okay.”

“Normally I’m brutally honest, saying exactly what’s on my mind.” Peter confessed. “Before I do that I need to know if you want to hear what I’m thinking. You might not like it, which is why I’m asking first.”

That he might not like Peter’s comments didn’t concern Jason, he probably thought a lot worse about himself than Peter would say. What caused him a moment’s pause was Peter’s concern for his feelings.

“If we have any chance of making a go at this, I need you to be honest with me.” Jason said. “Besides, I doubt you’re going to say anything I haven’t thought already.”

Peter smiled. “Fine, just promise me you won’t get mad at what I’m going to say.”

“Ha, how do I promise that?”

Peter’s laugh didn’t hold much amusement. “Promise you will at least think about it before you react?”

“That I can do.”

“Cool.” Peter took a deep breath. “First I should preface this by saying I really understand your position. Having been there before, I get why you want to keep this a secret. However, one thing I learned from my experience is you can’t be happy if you aren’t being true to yourself.

“You said you were scared not confused, so this isn’t about being honest with yourself, it is about living your life in a way that will make you happy. If you don’t take a chance on being happy, you will never be happy. Waiting until the ‘time is right’ will only make you miserable. How will you know when it is the right time? Most likely you will never find the right time.”

Peter paused, allowing Jason to think about what he heard. He always figured he would wait until after school to come out, then he would be done with soccer and wouldn’t need his parent’s help.

“When I met Drew, the guy I got caught kissing, I made a choice to try to let myself be happy.” Peter shrugged. “Drew did it for me, he was a lacrosse player from a neighboring high school, cute, a tad dumb, but a good kisser. Obviously I chose the wrong person, but it was the right decision. Once I was free from sneaking around, pretending I liked girls, trying to figure out how to let someone I thought was cute know I was interested without letting them know, I found I was much happier, even with being forced out. Things sucked at first, I won’t lie, but I think they sucked worse because I bought into the idea I was somehow wrong or bad. Once I accepted I was fine how I was, I realized most people didn’t care.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is you need to take a chance if you want to be happy.” Peter tried to smile before he said, “When you find someone you like, someone you really like, you need to grab them. I may not be that person, but at some point you need to take a risk or you won’t ever be happy.”

Take a risk he thought? This was more than a simple risk, this was his entire life. Yeah, but Peter was right, he would never be happy until he stopped pretending.

“Why would that make me mad?” He asked.

“Because I’m calling you out.” Peter said. “I’m challenging you to stop playing it safe and to do what will make you happy.”

“No,” Jason shook his head. Peter looked defeated by that one word. “Sorry, I didn’t mean, ‘no you are wrong.’ I was saying, ‘no’ to your calling me out.”

Peter’s expression improved a little, but now he looked confused.

Closing his eyes again he leaned his head back. “God this is so confusing.”

“I’m sorry Jason,” Peter apologized. “Seems I keep pushing you to go where I want with no regard for the consequences it might have on you.”

“No you aren’t.” Jason said finally. The hurt in Peter’s voice focused his thoughts. “You’re totally right. Playing it safe will only lead to regret later on. I just don’t know what to do.”

Peter swallowed, his brown eyes staring at Jason as if he could see through him. Jason could feel the anger Peter was trying to hold back. Anger at him for refusing to do what Peter knew was right for him.

“I can’t do it alone.” Jason whispered, scared to say it too loud. “I need your help.”

“What?” Peter’s voice was as quiet as Jason’s.

“I want to, but it scares me.” Deep down he knew this would lead to trouble, but he didn’t care. Peter was right; the perfect time would never present itself. “But if you help me I want to take a chance with you.”

“Are you serious?” Peter’s guarded excitement made Jason smile.

“Yeah,” He nodded. “Dinner, the ride here, kissing you, everything about tonight made me happy. I don’t want to turn my back on it.”

Leaning over, Peter pulled Jason closer so he could whisper in his ear. “Of course I will help you.”

They started kissing and Peter gently laid Jason back onto the futon. Picking up where he left off, Jason put his hands under Peter’s shirt. Slowly, gently, he pulled it over his head, even as Peter started to unbutton Jason’s shirt.

“Is that offer to use the bedroom still available?” Jason smirked.

“What about not being able to stay over?” Without agreeing it was, Peter stood up reaching for Jason’s hand.

“I still can’t, but I’m not worried about it,” Jason answered. “Somehow I think we both know this won’t be a one night hook up.”

“It better not be.” Peter laughed, leading them back toward his bedroom.

The sound of the front door shutting woke him up. Jason reached for his phone, noting the clock radio said 11:17. Lifting the phone from the dock, the screen immediately sprang to life.

‘Missed text Peter.’

Smiling, he unlocked the phone as quick as he could.

“Had a great nite thanx 2 u. Hope we r still on 4 later. Peter.”

Smiling ear to ear he typed out a response. “Me 2, wish I had stayed over so could wake up next to u. Yes, still on for later. Let me shower then I’ll call u.”

Sending it, he quickly typed a second message. “PS u r an awesome kisser! :)”

He put the phone down, heading for the bathroom. Wearing just his boxer’s, he hoped the door he heard closing was Emily leaving. Checking to make sure the apartment was empty, he quickly did what he needed.

As he waited for the coffee to finish, he turned his phone over so he could read the brief text over and over. Soon a new message appeared under the two he sent.

“Wish u were here too. Lying in bed thinking bout u.”

Before Jason stopped rereading the new text, a third appeared. “You kiss great too, can’t wait 2 do it again :)”

Jason called up the keypad. “I will hold u to that. Hope I don’t wear out ur lips.” Stifling a laugh he hit send.

Closing his eyes he tried to remember every detail of Peter’s lips, how he kissed, what Peter’s body felt like pressed against his, the way his back muscles moved. He had to imagine the rest as they stopped before undressing each other. Jason told Peter he wanted their first time to be more than a rushed event at the tail end of a date. To his surprise, Peter agreed saying he was fine with just kissing and groping.

The vibration from his phone caused him to open his eyes.

“Wear em out all u like”

“Remember u said that!” Jason almost giggled when he sent it. Grabbing his coffee he made for the shower. Peter was free only until 4:30. Then he had to pick up his sister so they could have dinner with his mom. He wanted to spend a little time alone before that happened.

Standing under the water he wondered again what he was doing. He knew the consequences of getting caught would be ugly. As much as Peter said his experience sucked, Jason worried his would suck worse, much worse. Forget what might happen with soccer, the real firestorm would come from home. Royce was hard to predict, though Jason did not count on his dad being supportive. It was his mother whose reaction he feared most. She would not understand, nor would she approve. Gay sons were something other people had, not Barbara Tellerman.

When he realized how long he had been in the shower, he hurried to finish. Dating someone was going to prove hard for him in many ways. Apart from the need for secrecy, now he had to clean up before going out, worry about what he wore, and make sure he was on time. If he wasn’t so excited, this would feel like he was meeting his parents for dinner.

Normally he would have worn his soccer warm ups, but with his name and number sown on the front, Jason didn’t feel comfortable wearing that to meet Peter. What if someone saw them together? On campus it didn’t matter so much, they were both students, both had classes in the same buildings. Away from campus, people would talk, especially if they knew Peter was gay.

Grabbing his book bag and keys, he couldn't suppress a smile as he locked the door. This would be their first real date. Last night turned into one, but it didn’t start out as one. Jason decided he would count last night as the day they set up their date, not the date itself. Was he being a dork? Did it really matter what day was a date and what wasn’t? Who worried about that stuff anyway?

Smiling, he realized most people probably worried about it if they really liked someone. Until he met Peter, Jason never let himself like anyone. There were a couple guys he met, guys who were too far away to consider dating, that he might have wanted more had the circumstances been different. Meaning if he were out, he told himself. No, that wasn’t right either. He made sure he only met guys who were too far away for him to even consider dating. It was a fail safe against falling for someone.

Peter upended all his best laid plans. Without distance to create a barrier to dating, Jason found he was at the mercy of his heart. Where once logic and reason dictated his action, now he was being guided by his feelings and instincts.

Stepping away from logic left him anxious yet excited. It was a feeling he could come to like he decided.

Peter chose their rendezvous carefully. Nowhere in town was safe from prying eyes, especially on a Sunday afternoon. Instead, Peter suggested they have lunch in one of the small towns north of Harrisburg. When he suggested they meet there instead of driving together, Jason decided they were taking secrecy too far. He insisted on picking Peter up at his apartment. If it wasn’t safe to stop long enough for Peter to get in the car, there was no way he could park his car there to spend the night.

The parking lot was nearly empty when Jason arrived. Although Peter said he would be waiting, Jason was early. Resisting the urge to call, Jason decided to wait until their agreed time to call. The dash board clock read 12:29, one minute early. Royce always considered anything less than 5 minutes early being late. Amused by his father’s rules, Jason decided he would give Peter a few minutes before he called.

The extra time was not needed as Peter walked out of his building before Jason’s clock could turn over to 12:30. Gone was the leather jacket and boots. Too bad, Jason thought, Peter looked so hot in those. Not that he looked bad in the tan jacket and trail shoes, Jason just preferred the other look.

“Nice car.” Peter complimented as he buckled up. “Bet it must hurt to pay your dad back for this.”

“Kind of, but it will be paid off by the end of the summer.” Jason couldn't wait until that happened. “So where to Sherpa Gregory?”

“Damn,” Peter mused. “Don’t think any of my prior dates would have come up with Sherpa.”

“Complimenting me doesn’t help me with directions you know.” Jason never liked compliments, but he liked it when Peter gave them.

“Did that come across as a compliment?” Peter tried to act serious. “I never said I liked the nerdy brainy type. The dumb jock is so much less threatening intellectually.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Says the cute guy on a full academic scholarship to a guy who only made it into school because he could kick a soccer ball.”

Peter raised his eyes several times. “If you showed them your legs I can understand why they accepted you.”

Now Jason turned red. “Directions?”

“You really don’t do well with compliments, do you?” Peter laughed. “Head toward the road I found you running on yesterday, we are heading north.”

“North it is.” Jason shifted gears, leaving the parking lot on his way north. Sneaking a peek to his right, he couldn't help smiling. His ‘date’ was sitting in the passenger seat of his car. No one could have convinced him he would be on a date even just a few days ago, yet it was real.

“What are you smiling about?” Peter asked.

“Does it matter?” Jason was slightly embarrassed by his reaction.

“Not especially.” Peter laughed. “I just wanted to know so I could make sure you smile more. You are so cute when you are happy.”

“That’s easy. I’m smiling because you’re sitting in my car, next to me, as we go on a real date.” Jason’s smile got bigger.

“Damn, you are easy.” Peter shook his head. “I won’t even have to work to be romantic around you.”

“Hey,” Jason protested. “I didn’t say I wanted to be taken for granted.”

Peter put his hand over Jason’s. “That is one thing you never have to worry about.”

“Good.” Shifting again, he noted how good Peter’s hand felt on his. “How long do I stay on this road?”

“Until I say to turn.” Peter smirked. “Kidding! About five more miles. I will give you a heads up when we get closer.”

“So mysterious.” Jason found he enjoyed the idea of going where Peter was taking him without knowing. “How romantic.”

“Ha!” Peter snorted. “You really are easy to make happy.”

“So?” Jason asked. “You should be glad I’m easy to please. Makes things easier for you.”

“I don’t want things to be too easy.” Peter said. “Everything I do can’t be the way you want things.”

“Probably not, but having never had a boyfriend before, I’m not very good at knowing what to do.” Jason confessed. “For example, this date; I would be terrible at planning something fun, much less keep it secret.”

“Shouldn't you wait to see where we’re going before you decide it’s a great date?” Peter joked, his mood much improved.

“No, if we drove around for 3 hours and went home I’d be happy.” Jason shook his head. “I guess the bar really is pretty low. Sorry.”

Shifting in his seat, Peter put his hand on Jason’s leg. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Doing something together is more important than what you do I think. Besides, my not having much money will probably limit us to doing a lot of simple stuff.”

“Money is an issue for you, isn’t it?” Jason asked.

“What do you mean?” Peter sounded defensive.

“Well, you seem to worry about the difference in our finances.” Jason tried to tread carefully. “Does it really bother you?”

“Does what bother me?” Peter still avoided the topic.

“C’mon Pete, stop being difficult, you know what I mean.” Jason complained. “Does money really matter that much?”

Peter didn’t answer right away. “No and yes.”

Jason almost laughed, but he noticed Peter was being serious so he gave him time to explain.

“No, in the sense that I don’t care that others have more money than I do. Yes, it bothers me when I can’t pay my own way.”

“Why?” Jason wasn’t sure he wanted to push Peter on this topic. “I mean it’s not like I’m trying to buy your affection or anything.”

“No, it’s not like that.” Peter shook his head. “Okay, here’s the story. My last boy friend was this guy Hayden. His family had big money, not sure where it came from, but they seemed really wealthy. He had a Porsche and unlike you his parents paid for it. Every time we went out, he always paid. We went to expensive restaurants, five star hotels, that sort of thing. Once he surprised me by taking me to LA for the night on his parent’s private jet.”

“Damn,” Jason raised both eyebrows. “That is something.”

Peter nodded. “Wherever the money came from, they weren’t shy about spending it. There was no way I could afford the tip from some of the dinners we had, much less dinner itself.”
Peter paused for a moment. “I always felt inferior because there was nothing I could to match what he did for me. A flower here, a card there, that wasn’t going to match dinner in New York after riding the Acelor from Philly. Worse was his dismissive attitude toward anything I tried.

“In the end I came to realize he defined himself by his family’s money. Maybe he felt he wasn’t really good at anything so he used money to show off. I think I was important to him because he thought he could impress me because I was poor. Made me wary of others spending money on me.”

Absorbing what Peter was saying, Jason considered his response. “I need to tell you something.”

“That sounds ominous.” Peter did not sound like he was joking.

“Well,” Jason wondered how much to say. “You and I never really talked much about it, but while my dad’s firm does well, mom’s side is the source of most of the family money.”

“Oh.” Now Peter sounded uncomfortable. “How rich are we talking Jason?”

“Heiress rich. Nothing like Hayden’s I suppose. My family doesn’t have a jet.” He laughed hoping Peter would relax. “But I promise you I’m not like Hayden about money.”

“I know you aren’t him. The night we ate at the student union you were careful not to make a big deal of your money.” Peter smiled finally. “Trust me I know you’re not anything like Hayden.”

“If you only knew how much I have trusted you already.” Jason didn’t mean to say it like that. “I mean, for me to be here means I trust you.”

Peter didn’t move his hand. “I understand what it means for you to be here. Can I tell you something?”

“Um sure, why do you even ask?”

“You’re the first person I dated since Hayden. That was almost a year ago.” Peter’s admission seemed to make him vulnerable. “I got hurt because I ignored the warning signs he was a jerk. He wasn’t worth my time, but I bought into his crap that he was some big catch. After that, I have been so cautious I haven’t even had a second date with a guy; until you. What I’m saying is while you are trusting me, I’m trusting you too. Trusting you won’t hurt me too.”

Peter’s vulnerability scared Jason. How could he promise he wouldn’t end up hurting him? It was not his intention to hurt him, but he was so new to this, what if he did it without meaning to?

“Pete,” Jason wanted to get this right. “I can’t promise I know what I’m doing, or that I will get it right all the time, but I can say I won’t deliberately try to hurt you. That much I know for sure.”

“Fair enough.” He squeezed Jason’s leg. “What say you we find a better topic for conversation? I would rather use our time learning all I can about the man attached to the legs that earned a scholarship.”

Jason laughed. “Perfect, but I get to ask you questions too.”

“Of course,” Peter agreed. “So you first, tell me what you like to do besides play soccer and kiss me?”

Despite getting lost once, they managed to find their destination. The small main street looked deserted. Parking in front of a small cafe style restaurant, Jason surveyed the area before locking the car.

“Trust me.” Peter smiled. “Erin took me here about six months ago. Her friend from school opened this place last year.”

“Do all your sister’s friends own restaurants?” Jason laughed.

“She studied hospitality and restaurant management. A few of her classmates opened restaurants.”

“Interesting.” Jason shrugged. “If this place is as good as the vegetarian place, I won’t complain.”

“Hmm,” Peter made a serious face. “I can’t vouch for that, but I thought the food was good. The real reason I took us here was the drive.”

“I sort of figured part of the reason was so we could spend some time alone.” Jason winked.

“Do you mind?” Peter’s face showed his concern.

Jason checked the street. Leaning closer he stole a quick kiss. “Not at all.”

With a huge smile, Peter grabbed Jason’s hand. Resisting the urge to pull away, Jason still tensed up.

“Relax soccer boy.” Peter called him that several times already. “No one knows us here.”

“Work in progress, remember.” Jason laughed nervously, but did not pull away.

Like the rest of the street, the restaurant was mostly empty. An older couple sat at a table against the wall. A young woman with long hair, sandals and a back pack sat in the back and a thirty something looking guy with a full beard and slightly rumpled clothing sat close to the door. Everyone had food or drinks or both on their table.

“Sit wherever you like guys.” A male voice called from the back. Following the voice, a tall slightly overweight waiter walked out from the kitchen area carrying a tray. He stopped by the young woman, putting a plate down along with silverware.

Leaving her, he followed his newest customers to a table near the window. Jason noted the two glasses of water he still had with him.

“You’re Erin’s younger brother, right?” The dark haired server asked. Jason guessed he was about 30 give or take a few years.

“Yup.” Peter nodded. “Bruce right?”

“Good memory.” He smiled. Jason felt a pang of jealousy as he watched Bruce flirt with Peter. “How’s your sister?”

“Busy as usual.” Peter took a seat across from Jason. “Bruce, this is my friend Jason. We were looking for something different to do for our date today so I dragged him here.”

Jason suppressed a snort at Peter’s bluntness.

“Nice to meet you Jason.” Bruce said. Jason was all but certain he got a wink from the older man.

Jason stood up and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you too.”

“So formal.” Bruce laughed shaking Jason’s hand.

Embarrassed, Jason sat down. “Sorry, old habits are hard to break.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Bruce laughed. “I’ll bring you some menus.”

Jason watched their host walk back to the kitchen area. “Is he always so forward?”

“Bruce’s a terrible flirt.” Peter said. “I hope he got the hint.”

“That was something of a blow to the head kind of hint.” Jason laughed. “Saying, ‘I dragged him here for our date’ was not exactly subtle.”

Peter winked at him. “Never said I was trying to be subtle. I want you to myself.”

Seeing Peter smiling on the other side of the table, Jason couldn’t hold back a grin. “Given we are in the middle of nowhere, I would say your plan to keep me away from everyone else worked.”

“Aren’t you the one who said if you drive far enough it’s easy to be anonymous?” Peter raised one eyebrow as if daring Jason to deny his comment.

“Yeah, but I also said I would lie about where I was from too.”

“That isn’t necessary here.” Peter shook his head twice. “When you said that last night I got the idea that it would help us be careful if we weren’t always seen together around campus. There are plenty of out of the way places we can go to be alone without prying eyes noticing us.”

“Are you always this clever or do you work hard at it?”

“It helps to be inspired.” Peter might have said more, but Bruce returned with their menus.