Recovery - 9. Chapter 9

By the end of the week things were looking grim. It became less likely by the day that Kei was going to wake up. He wasn’t showing any signs of responding at all with the world around him and the fact he was getting back into cycles of wake and sleep and even making sounds like sighs and moans, didn’t help anyone at all. Life went on around him but he wasn’t aware of it…at least on the face of it.

Jess left to do her exams but there was no chance of Alex doing the same, even though his family begged.

Eventually, both sets of parents had to start thinking about going home and picking up their lives again. Maria and her parents argued all the time about whether she should stay or go home. Jace had gone home for one night then returned and stood by her no matter what tide she was riding. Alex found himself praying she wouldn’t leave. It always gave him a lift when the elfin face appeared around the doorframe and her sparkling blue eyes first roved over her brother and then smiled at him.

Maria always seemed to be smiling. It took a lot to bring her down and more to keep her down. She was a sprite, an elf, an angel and she brightened the lives of everyone she touched. All the nursing staff knew and loved her. They all called her angel and Alex quite understood why.

“Mam and Dad are going home tomorrow,” she said one day as she was helping Alex rub lotion in Kei’s hands. She was doing the one without a needle in it because it was easier and she was so scared of hurting him. Of course Alex was too but he hid it better than she did.

“Really?” Alex was relieved by the news. It was a strain on him, having Bonnie and Frank around. He felt entirely excluded whenever they were in the room and the tension was growing between them and his own parents because of their negativity towards Alex.

“Mine are talking about it too,” he said, concentrating on Kei’s hand. He had such long fingers. Pianists fingers Rose always said, even though they’d never been near a keyboard. Artists fingers more like. He smiled. They were certainly creative in what they did to his body. The smile disappeared. Would he ever feel their touch again?

A small hand covered his. He looked up. Maria smiled, her eyes over bright. “I still believe, Alex,” she said. It made him feel warm.

When the doctor came that day she had disturbing news. The hospital were making enquiries with a long term care facility. It wasn’t, she was careful to explain, that they’d given up hope. It was just that there was nothing more, medically, that could be done for Kei here and he was taking up a bed that was needed for other patients who did need urgent medical care.

Kei had always been medically stable and Alex understood what she way saying but the thought of Kei being moved to somewhere like that made him feel sick. It also opened a whole can of worms.

Bonnie and Frank were all over the news. They started making enquiries about private facilities near where they lived. Alex was horrified. What if they whisked him away? What if he couldn’t stay with him. He was scattered and panic stricken.

Rose and Barney made their own enquiries but the fact was there was nothing in their neck of the woods, especially that they could afford, that could rival what Bonnie and Frank could offer.

By ten o’clock Alex was feeling hopeless and empty inside.

“I don’t want to lose you, Kei. I don’t want to leave you. I want to be here for you forever, but I don’t know how I can fight them. I can’t deny they can give you so much more than I can. The places they’re looking at are perfect for you. They’ll take care of you better than anything we can afford. They’ve got really good facilities and physiotherapists that will keep you flexible and stop your muscles getting stiff and stuff. But I’m not going to be able to stay with you.

“I want to more than anything. I want to be with you and keep my promise but, as everyone keeps telling me, I have to think of you first. I have to think of what’s going to be better for you, not me.

“Oh hell, Kai, I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know what to do.”

He put his head in his hands and started to cry. He felt so hopeless and so helpless. Eventually he raised his head and looked at Kei. They turned him over every two hours to make sure he didn’t get bed sores and, at the moment, he was curled on his side, facing Alex. He liked to sleep that way, curled up, preferably with Alex curled around him, holding him from behind, his arms wrapped around Kei’s slender body. Sometimes he would purr like a kitten. Alex would have given anything to hear that sound.

“Try not to stress too much,” the nurse said. It wasn’t the sweet one, but all the nurses were warm and caring. “Things will work out for the best. I’m sure you’ll manage to find a way to work together.”

“You don’t understand. Kei’s parents are horrible. They hate the fact that Kei is gay and they hate me. They don’t hate me as a person, but what I represent. They’ve never made the slightest effort to get to know me. They don’t want to. They’re afraid that if they get to know me they might like me and that’s the last thing they want. Once they get their claws into Kei they’ll push me out until I won’t even be able to visit him, let alone be with him. I just don’t know what to do.”

“If you’re meant to be together you’ll find a way.” It sounded so simple when she said it. Alex smiled and sighed, then turned back to Kei and stroked his hair. Then he froze.

Kei’s eyes, as they often were, were open but fluttering. They rarely made any effort to focus and tended to drift aimlessly or roll, as if independent of him and out of his control. Today, as Alex stared into them they blinked and focussed on him. He was sure they were focussing on him. Not just focussing randomly as they always had before.

“He… He’s looking at me.” Alex said, his heart in his throat.

“That’s nice,” the nurse said, uninterested.

“No. I mean really looking at me. Kei?” he said, bending closer. “Can you see me? Can you hear me?”

Kei blinked, then frowned, sighed and drifted to sleep.

“Dammit. Look, you know I’ve been here the whole time. I’ve watched him every day, every night. I know this was different. I know he looked at me. He saw me.”

“Hun, you know the score. It often seems….”

“Yes, I know the score, which is why I know this time was different.”

“Alright,” the nurse said. “We’ll keep an eye on him.” He knew she was humouring him. Nevertheless, he was going to watch Kei like a hawk. Something had changed, he knew it, and he was going to prove it.

“I’m absolutely sure,” he was saying to Maria a couple of hours later. She’d come to tell him that Bonnie and Frank were about to leave. They were going to visit one of the care homes the next morning and would report back on what they thought the following afternoon. Alex was terrified that they’d like it and make fast arrangements to move Kei. Tomorrow might be their last day together.

“What does it mean?” Maria was wide eyed, sitting on the bench at the other side of the bed. Kei was on his back again and they were both holding his hands.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. The nurse doesn’t think it means anything.” They were alone for the moment, without a nurse. It happened often these days. They knew Kei was safe with Alex and they would often leave for up to an hour at a time.

“They’re always so negative.”

“I don’t think it’s that they’re negative. I think they’re just cautious. They’ve seen it all before, over and over. I guess everyone’s family want to see signs of their loved ones waking up and they’re always seeing signs that aren’t there.”

“And you’re sure your sign was there?”

“Oh yes. I’m totally sure. You were looking at me, weren’t you beautiful. You knew I was here and you were looking at me.”

Kei sighed and his lips twitched, almost as if they were trying to form words.

“You saw that, right?” Alex said, his heart pounding. “He hasn’t done that before. It looks like he was trying to say something.”

“I…. “Maria swallowed. “They’re not going to believe us, are they?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look…. If he is waking up what can they do about it right now? What would they do. Nothing. Just watch him. We can do that.”

“I…. Yeah, I guess so.”

“So we watch him like a hawk. If there are lots of things….Oh.” She gasped and put a hand over her mouth as Kei’s eyes fluttered open.

This time they could both see there was something different. He was looking at them. Not only that, but when he saw them his lips twitched into a tiny smile. The effort seemed to exhaust him and he almost immediately drifted off again.

Alex and Maria locked gazes over the bed, and Maria started to sob. Alex ran around the bed and put his arms around her. “Ssh. It’s alright. It’s going to be alright.”

“Do you think…? Do you think he’s….?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“We have to tell someone now.”

“Yes.”

This time when they both told the nurse she checked Kei over and things started happening. Within minutes they’d been hustled out of the room tortured by equal measures of elation and terror. They made their way back to the visitors’ room both to tell everyone what was going on and to get some support for the inevitable wait, which that time wasn’t so long. Within ten minutes a doctor appeared. Not unfortunately their favourite woman but fortunately not the evil bastard either. Alex had had a few other run ins with him and hadn’t seen him since. He hoped he was avoiding him.

This doctor was fairly young with a baby-face and curly blonde hair. He blushed when he spoke to them.

“I… I’d just like to have a few words,” he said, “before you go back to Keyden.”

“Kei,” Alex corrected automatically. He’d been doing it all week.

“Oh. Oh, sorry,” the doctor said. “I…it wasn’t in the notes.”

“That’s okay. Just get on with it. Tell us what’s going on.”

“Well…erm…there are definite signs that…Kei is beginning to… react with the world around him.” Alex could see he was struggling to phrase himself in plain English, but he didn’t mind, just so long as he kept saying the right things.

“He’s waking up?” Bonnie said, her hand over her mouth.

“Well, it’s a little early to tell,” the doctor said. “I know us doctors are often accused of preaching doom and gloom but the fact is that, although the signs are good, it doesn’t necessarily mean recovery for Kei. He might never get more reactive than he is now and he could stop anywhere between here and full wakefulness. In any event it isn’t going to be quick. It isn’t like you see on TV. He’s not going to suddenly wake up and be fine. It will be in very short bursts to begin with. It’s going to be days before he can keep his eyes open for more than a few minutes and probably that long before he can get any words out. You need to be prepared.”

“We were prepared for nothing. This is… everything we’ve been praying for. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me,” the doctor said, embarrassed. “I haven’t done anything. Kei’s doing this all by himself.”

“Can I…? Can I go to Kei now?”

“Of course. Keep talking to him. The more you can do to stimulate him now the more quickly he’ll respond. It’s a crucial time. Touch him as much as you can and talk to him.”

“Okay. I’ve been doing that but I’ll do it more. Does this mean he’s not going to be moving now?”

“Not for a few days, I think. He’s still very stable but this is a tricky time. I’d rather keep him under close supervision for the moment. I expect that if things go well we’ll be looking at least three or four days.”

“Thank you.” Alex’s heart soared. Kei was waking up and he had at least four days before he had to worry about him going anywhere and by that time he might be awake enough to be able to tell his mother what he wanted. Maybe he wouldn’t need the posh place after all.

His feet were light when they carried him back to Kei’s room. The nurse gave him a wide smile when he went in.

“I bet you’re feeling over the moon,” she said. “Just be careful of trying to run before you can walk. He going to need a lot of support, a lot of love and attention.”

“I can give him all of those.”

“I know you can but I can promise you, it’s not going to be as you’re expecting it to be. Make sure you don’t wear yourself out. Get help for you too.”

“I…I’m not sure what you’re saying or what I’m supposed to say to it but I promise if I need help I’ll ask and if I get tired I’ll rest.”

“Good. You won’t be any use to Kei if you’re exhausted.”

“No.”

Alex sat down in his usual place and took Kei’s hand. “Well, you’re here and I’m here and it’s just the same but everything’s changed. I know you’re coming back to me now so you’d better not be shy about it. I know it’s hard and I know you’re very tired but I’m here and I’m waiting.

“Do you remember that time we went to the wedding? We both hated it but we had to go and make a show of it. It was one of my cousins and they were completely vanilla. There was nothing by way of excitement do we sneaked off to the gardens and found this little place down by a lake. It was some kind huge hotel place and they had a lake, remember. It was really freaky. They had lights under the water and all kinds of pondweed. You said it looked as if there were dead people under the water, or ought to be.

“We talked about a lot of things that night. I think that was the night I decided for sure that I was going to spend the next of my life with you, that I couldn’t live without you. Do you remember the promise we made to each other? The promise that if ever we got separated we’d wait and also try everything we could to get back again. Well, this time I’m the one who’s waiting and you have to do all the work. I’m really sorry about that but there’s not much I can do to help. I’ll be here with you holding your hand and talking to you.

“I’ve got Maria searching for some new itunes. She’s looking for that freaky Japanese band you like. I haven’t been able to stand listening to them before but if you’re waking up I guess we have to play things you want to listen to. As soon as she comes back I’ll put the music on and we’ll just have to handle it.”

“You can think again if I’m going to sit here and listen to that nonsense.” The sharp voice at the door drew his attention. Bonnie had a strange expression on her face, half hopeful and half…something else.

“If it helps Kei I’ll listen to anything.”

“At the end of the day this is a hospital and there are more people here than you…or even Kai. There is plenty of music we can find to play without having that ridiculous Japanese nonsense.”

“It’s Kai’s favourite music. We’re supposed to be doing things to help Kai, not you or me or anyone else. I don’t like the music either but this isn’t about me.”

“No, it isn’t,” she said tightly and Alex realised straight away what was really going on. The things that had so pleased him had had the opposite effect on her. She knew that her chances of getting her claws into Kei were slipping away and she was taking her anger out on Alex. Well, if that was the case he really didn’t mind at all.

“Did you hear that, Kei?” he said lightly. “Your mother still disapproves of your music. What a shocker.”

“Alex.”

“Look, we’re supposed to stimulate him, talk to him, play his music. We’re supposed to be giving him a reason to wake up. Sitting here looking at him isn’t going to do that and, no offence but you’re voice is the last one he’s going to want to hear. Once he wakes he can decide how much of you he wants. It will be up to you to negotiate that with him. Until then, I’m not saying you can’t be here but it will be on my terms.”

“How dare you. How dare you suggest you know more about my son and what he needs than I do.”

“You haven’t seen him for five months and before that all you did was fight. If this hadn’t happened you wouldn’t have seen him now and who knows what would have happened over the summer. Face it. You don’t know your son and you’re not his favourite person. That might be hard to hear, and hard to deal with and yeah, it’s something that should be worked on if it can be, but this isn’t the time to do it. This is Kei’s time.”

“I… Kei is… I’m his mother.”

“I know that and I’d be delighted to talk to him about talking to you, trying to sort out the issues but that’s not for now, Mrs Prince. I don’t think it would be good for Kei to have confrontation around him.”

“He’s right,” the nurse said. “In fact if there is going to be confrontation, bad feeling or raised voices I’m going to have to ask someone to leave. My patient requires rest and calm.”

“You won’t get that with his music blaring in your ears.”

“You’d be surprised. Besides, that’s the kind of noise that will be good for him. There are different kinds of calm. Different forms of stimulation.” She smiled at Alex. “Some of them, of course are not appropriate for this situation